48. The Morning After

Hunter

When Hunter’s eyes opened the following morning, Logan sat at a desk beside him on his laptop. He wore glasses that Hunter hadn’t seen him sport since discovering contact lenses sophomore year of high school.

Hunter turned over and groaned. “Four eyes.”

Logan chuckled and without looking away from his screen said, “You know, sometimes I wonder if you’re the cleverest person in the world.”

Hunter stretched his body across the bed and looked around the room. “What time is it? Where’s Gray?”

Logan shut his laptop and pushed out of his seat. “Almost noon. Grayson, or Ethan—whatever he’s going by, left last night.”

Hunter sat up, turned, and planted his feet on the floor. “I really fucked things up this time, didn’t I?” He groaned into his palms.

“Well, you called him by my name and told him you loved me—”

“Shit!” Hunter cut him off. He pinched his nose bridge, hoping to relieve the growing migraine in his skull. Logan took a seat beside him, thigh to thigh and leaned his head against Hunter’s shoulder, before turning into it to give it a kiss while he rubbed his back. “He’s not like us, Lo. He’s … a good person.”

“What the fuck? I’m a good person. We’re good people,” Logan said, pulling back from Hunter with a look of disgust on his face.

“No. We’re not.” Hunter got to his feet clumsily and almost fell backward.

“Where are you going?”

“I have to see Grayson,” Hunter said, with determination in his voice. “Where’s my phone?” He grabbed his phone from the desk and unlocked it. No call, no texts, nothing. Hunter used the bathroom and then hurried to the living room.

“Don’t go. Just stay,” Logan said, following him around the apartment. “Stay with me.”

Hunter slid on his shoes by the door. “I’ve gotta find him.”

Logan threw his arms around him and sank his head into his chest. “Please, please, please …” he whispered over and over.

Hunter wanted to hug him back, to squeeze him—carry him to the bed and tell him they’d be together forever, this time. “I can’t, I have to make it right … I’ll be back.”

When Hunter arrived at their rental place, Grayson’s packed bag was by the door.

Oh, thank god.Grayson hadn’t answered his last two calls or texts, but at least he was still there. He felt hungover and disgusting and couldn’t risk Grayson seeing him in his current state.

In the shower, he tried to recall the memory of the previous night, but only bits and pieces flashed in his mind, unable to tell an erotic dream from reality. Drying off in the bedroom, he heard the sound of the front door open and then close again. He walked out of the room naked, rubbing the white towel against his wet hair.

“Gray?” His heart dropped when he stared at the space on the floor where Grayson’s items once lay. “Shit!” He rushed back into the bedroom and dressed in a panic, pulling on a pair of khaki shorts and a polo-shirt before rushing out the door.

Hunter jogged toward Grayson who was half-way down the street. “Gray! Wait up!”

“It’s over, Hunter,” Grayson said as Hunter approached him.

Hunter panted, shutting his eyes in defeat. “I know. Let me at least walk you to your car.”

“It’s parked a half a mile away.”

He smiled. “I’ve got time.”

The walk was silent at first, neither of them knowing what to say, strangers.

“Look, Hunter, I’m sorry,” Grayson started. “The whole thing with Logan—”

Hunter stopped him. “No, I’m sorry. I caused all of this. I broke our trust. I broke us. You would’ve never come here if it weren’t for me.”

“I know you didn’t sleep with him the weekend of the funeral.”

“I didn’t. But we did things I’m not proud of. Things that have hurt you and it’s my fault.”

Grayson took Hunter’s hand and leaned his head on his shoulder as they walked. “That was last fall and now it’s mid-summer. You’d think we would’ve moved on by now.”

“I will never forgive myself for what I’ve put you through. You deserve so much better than me.”

“It doesn’t get much better than you, babe. You helped me in so many ways. You helped me grow and learn and find myself. You brought me into the light and made me feel proud of myself. You helped me into a career I love. I owe you so much.”

Hunter felt tears building in his eyes that he wiped away with the back of his hand. “Wow, this is hard.”

“You’re going to make me cry,” Grayson sniffled, touching his fingertips to his eyes

“When I met you I was in a dark place. You made all of that go away, like magic. That’s the one word I would use to describe you. Magical. And good, you’re so, so good, Grayson. You mean so much to me. I don’t know what I would’ve done without you. Thank you, for everything. You saved me, Gray. I had no one.” Hunter heard his voice break, gasping for air.

“We’re pretty broken now, aren’t we?” Grayson said, making more of a statement than a question.

Hunter looked down at the ground, unsure of what else to say.

They reached Grayson’s rental car a few minutes later and Hunter couldn’t shake the overwhelming sadness as he leaned Grayson against the passenger side door and wrapped his arms around him tightly.

Grayson sobbed into Hunter’s chest. Hot tears rolled down his face as Hunter swayed him back and forth. “I don’t want this to end.”

“You know it has to.”

“I know,” Grayson said.

Hunter pulled away from him and placed his forehead on his, finding his teary, pink and blue eyes. “I will always love you. That doesn’t go away. I’m here for you, always.”

“I know.”

“I’m serious. If you need anything at all, Gray, I’m here. You, your family, your friends, whatever you need, please, reach out. Don’t block me out. I want to hear from you from time to time. I want to know how you’re feeling, I want to know who you’re loving, I want you to live your life. You’re one of the best things that has ever happened to me. You deserve so much in this world.”

“It will take me a while to get there.”

“That’s fine. Whenever you’re ready, I’ll be here to listen—no matter what. I love you.” Hunter kissed his lips tenderly as they sniffled with wet faces.

“I love you,” Grayson echoed, dropping his hands from around Hunter’s body. It was time to go.

“Did we do something last night?” Hunter asked, with a puzzled look on his face.

Grayson scoffed out a laugh. “You’re so funny. Bye.”

“Text me when you’re home safe,” Hunter said as Grayson got in the car.

“Sure, Dad.” Grayson smiled and shut the door. Hunter stood on the sidewalk as he pulled off and drove away. He sat on the steps of a stoop behind him and watched Grayson’s empty parking spot. He stayed until another car took its place, and an hour later when that same car drove off again.

Just yesterday he was eager to see Grayson, thinking it would be a step forward for their relationship and now, though bittersweet, he was relieved to see him go.

He did it out of mercy, he decided. He had put so much pressure on Grayson and their relationship when he had been the one to damage it. He was plagued by the curse that was Logan and that plague would spread to everyone he was near as long as Logan was around.

Hey, where are you? A text appeared on his phone. Hunter let out a deep sigh, his heart involuntarily fluttering when reading Logan’s name.