45. The Double

Grayson

Grayson wasn’t sure what he was doing there anymore. The plan was to knock on Logan’s door and level with him. He wanted confirmation that he and Hunter could move on with their relationship—without Logan. Their constant fighting, breaking up just to make up again became more than he could manage. Despite how hard they tried, Logan was the focal point of most of their arguments.

He took a puff of his vape as he waited outside Logan’s house in his rental car, working up the courage to make the move. Logan and his daughter walked out of the house and Grayson watched as he strapped her into the car seat. He followed them to the park and then overheard that he’d be heading to the coffee shop, so he thought he’d beat them there. On the way to the coffee shop a man handed out flyers to attend a reggae event at a local bar; Grayson took the paper and shoved it in his pocket.

Logan didn’t look at all how he had imagined him. He was handsome in an unshaven, scruffy way. He wore his hair a tad long, ending halfway down his neck. To Grayson’s surprise, he was a friendly, suburban dad who works, takes his kid to parks, buys coffee for his frigid wife, and probably jerks off to a life he used to have. The highlight of his day was getting hit on by a coed barista. How sad, Grayson thought.

Grayson didn’t know where the flirting came from. He had no intentions of flirting with his boyfriend’s ex. He also didn’t want to tell Logan who he was at the risk of Logan leaving because he was there with his kid. That evening he waited outside of the bar for a while before heading inside around nine-thirty.

Logan

Logan hadn’t been out since before his father passed away. Every day felt the same for him as Amber started working out, spending less and less time at home. Sometimes she’d go out on weekends and not come home until the next morning or afternoon. He never asked where she was going or who she was with or why she didn’t call. Sometimes, Logan could hear her whispering on the phone, eager to leave the house again.

Humiliation was all he felt when his thoughts went to Hunter, so he tried his best to repress it. Most days, he’d come home, spend some time with Emma, order takeout since Amber no longer cooked for him, and play video games after Emma went to bed.

“Where are you going?” Amber asked as she watched him trim his beard in the bathroom.

“Out,” he said, without looking up.

“Out where?”

“Jesus Christ, Amber, fuck off,” he snapped before dropping his razor and slamming the door in her face.

Nothing could bring him down; he hadn’t been this excited in a long time. He was going out like he used to. As he got dressed, he realized how out of shape he was. I need to hit the gym, he thought, squeezing the top button of his pants closed.

“You’ve become a real asshole,” Amber said to him, near tears at the doorway of their walk-in closet.

“Divorce me,” he said, picking out shoes.

“No, why would you say that?” she protested.

“I don’t have time for this.” He pushed past her and made his way out the door.

Grayson

As soon as Grayson stepped inside, he regretted ever coming. The bar was so packed he was surprised that there was no bouncer at the door for traffic control. Leaning against the wall next to the door, he pulled out his phone. He would’ve texted Hunter, but he was probably asleep.

“Hey, Ethan!” Logan called out beside him over the blaring reggae music playing.

“Hey,” Grayson echoed. “Glad you made it.”

“What?”

“I said, I’m glad you’re here!” Grayson said more loudly, leaning in and lightly touching Logan’s elbow. Grayson’s heart rushed and felt a warm chill when making contact with Logan’s skin. Their stares remained locked for more than a few seconds before Grayson looked away. People who entered pushed past them on one side, and others leaving bumped into them on the other.

“Let’s get out of the way.” Logan laughed, taking the lead through the crowd of sweaty people dancing in front of the small stage. Logan looked back at him and extended his hand; Grayson took it happily, being led out of the mosh and toward the bar.

Logan suddenly stopped and looked around the crowded bar while Grayson held Logan’s hand without any intention of letting go.

“It doesn’t look like we’ll be getting drinks anytime soon. Come here,” Logan instructed.

They went down a narrow corridor that housed the bathrooms and past the busy kitchen.

“Where are we going?” Grayson asked, Logan’s confidence making him feel adventurous and alive.

Through a supply closet, they came upon a door that read ‘Employees Only.’

“Should we be back here?” Grayson whispered, part of him wondering if Logan was trying to be alone with him. What if he knows who I am and murders me?

Through the door was a laundry room that didn’t look at all functional and a man sat on a stool by a door at the other side of the room. Logan walked up to the man boldly as if he had done so a million times.

“What do you want?” the older man huffed in a cold, husky voice.

Logan reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet from which he pulled out a $100 bill.

“Chicken soup,” Logan said.

“And rice,” Grayson joked behind him. Logan tried to keep a straight face and soon the man nodded.

Grayson stared in awe as Logan opened the door, and music filled the once-silent room. It was one of those speakeasies he had heard so much about. The bar had a completely different atmosphere. Part lounge, part gambling house—a singer sang a relaxing reggae, jazz melody in a low, raspy voice.

There were several open tables at a long booth that extended across the entire side wall.

“This is so cool.” Grayson’s grin grew wide, taking in the scene.

Logan led them to a round table that was up against the booth and the two sat side by side.

A waitress came by almost immediately and took their drink orders.

“Seriously, this place is amazing.” Grayson gawked, mouth hanging open. “How did you know about this? Have you been here before?”

“No, never, actually.” Logan laughed, turning his body slightly toward Grayson and Grayson did the same. Their positioning right next to each other made it difficult for face-to-face conversation. “I used to work at the city planning office and when I first joined, a few years back, I was one of the architects who had to approve blueprints and layouts for commercial properties.”

“So, you approved this room?”

“No, this place was always here. I noticed it on the floor plan. They were applying to add a large outdoor deck. The owner saw me staring at the blueprint curiously and said, ‘You like?’ in a thick Greek accent. ‘It’s private. For me and my close friends.’” Logan imitated the owner’s accent terribly.

“No way. That’s wild.” Grayson laughed.

“Logan Parker?” another woman came back with his bank card in hand followed by their waitress with their beers.

“Yeah?”

“These are on-the-house. You’ve been on our VIP list for a while now, but we have no record of you ever coming by,” she said.

“Wow, I didn’t know I was here with a VIP!” Grayson mocked him playfully as soon as she walked away. He’s so cute, Grayson thought, And humble.

“You don’t meet celebs like me every day,” Logan joked, almost on cue.

An awkward silence fell over them and they watched the performance on stage.

“She’s so good,” Logan said, filling the silence.

“She is,” Grayson said. He knew he had taken this Logan thing too far and there was no turning back now. He wanted to tell him, tell him who he was and why he was there.

The two drank round after round of beer, becoming closer in proximity and less stable with their movements. Logan’s hand fell between their legs and Grayson calmly reached down and stroked his fingers against Logan’s knuckles.

“Is there something between us or is it just in my head?” Logan blurted boldly, as he turned his face toward Grayson.

Grayson gulped down his last sip of beer before responding. “I sure do hope so … Or I shaved for nothing.”

Hanging his head bashfully, Logan smiled at himself. “I have a wife, you know,” Logan said regrettably.

“Yeah? You’ve mentioned.”

“She’s fucking her boss. I should feel something about that, right?”

“I—I don’t know.” Grayson shook his head. Logan was mostly pitiful. “How are you feeling right now?” Grayson pressed the side of his knee against Logan’s under the table.

“Pretty good.” Logan smiled at him, and clasped Grayson’s hand in his between them.

A woman who looked to be in her mid-forties pulled out one of the chairs across from them and sat down. “Hi.”

Logan smiled at her as if he had known her for a long time. “Hey.”

“My friend over there by the bar.” She pointed to a small, brunette who was looking away, embarrassed by her older friend. “She’s a nice girl, and she needs to get some tonight. Are you two brothers?”

“Uh, no,” Grayson said, and they shook their heads in unison.

“You look like brothers,” she insisted.

“I’m gay,” Grayson blurted with a grimace.

“And I—” Logan paused, as if unsure of what to say. “I’m married,” he said, flashing his wedding ring on his left hand while tightly holding onto Grayson with his right one.

“Of course you are,” the woman said tersely and walked off.

Logan looked at Grayson with a sultry look in his eye as he took another swig of his beer. “So, you’re—”

“Gay,” Grayson said, looking back at him. “Isn’t it obvious?”

“No. Not at all. I mean, I couldn’t tell.”

“Did you think you were seducing me?” Grayson asked, moving closer to Logan.

“A little bit.” Logan chuckled, looking down at the table and then over at the bar. “Would you mind if I left?”

“Uh, yeah, sure,” Grayson said, puzzled by Logan’s sudden reaction. “Is everything alright?”

Logan got up from the seat. “Are you coming?”

The lump in Grayson”s throat softened and he nodded his head.