41. The Re

Logan

“This place is a disaster,” Patty said back at the Parkers’ home after the burial. “Stacy, you need to start cleaning this place up.”

“Aunt Patty, do you need a ride to the hotel, because you’re sure as hell not staying here,” Stacy said in a sharp tone.

“Uh—Aunt Patty,” Logan chimed in for damage control. “She means that we don’t have enough beds with me in the guest room and all. I’ll give you a ride.”

“I never planned on staying here,” Patty said, offended. “Yes, Logan, please, if you don’t mind. Tell my sister I’ll be back in the morning.”

Logan found himself face to face with hotel room 3602, the same number that was written on the piece of paper Hunter had handed to him earlier. There was only one hotel in the small town where they lived. Logan knocked on the door softly, unsure if it was what Hunter meant by 3602. He heard shuffling around inside and the faint sound of a voice speaking and waited a few more seconds, and the door opened wide, welcoming him in.

He saw Hunter at the end of the door. Neither of them said a word. Logan stepped in and the heavy hotel door slammed behind him. Logan’s eyes darted around at the things in the room, Hunter’s things. He didn’t recognize any of his belongings. It had been so many years; he was a different person now. They were both different people.

Logan sat at the edge of the bed and stared in front of him blankly. Hunter walked over and stood between his legs. All Logan could see were the buttons of Hunter’s open white shirt and the tanned skin of his abdomen peaking between the fabric. He collapsed his head onto Hunter’s stomach and wrapped his arms around him tightly. Hunter bent over and hugged his head, caressing Logan’s hair.

Hunter’s familiar scent and the touch of his warm skin on his cheek made Logan sob heavily against Hunter’s body, thinking about the loss of his father, how his mother was so far gone, and how he had lost Hunter as well. He cried for his failing marriage, his strained relationship with his sister, his sweet daughter whom he’d spent little time with, and his unsatisfying job. Hunter held him securely against his skin, finally pulling back when Logan did nearly five minutes later. After pouring water from a bottle into a small glass, Hunter handed it to him, their fingers touching as Logan reached for it.

“Thanks,” Logan said before taking a sip. It was the first word that was spoken between the two. “You look good.” Logan wiped away a few tears and glanced at Hunter’s slightly exposed chest.

“You do, too. I like the beard. Very distinguished,” Hunter said. Logan struggled to maintain eye contact, but managed a smile.

A loud knock on the door made Logan jump up. Hunter answered it and Logan waited to hear the voice of Stacy or Amber. Instead, Hunter thanked the person and walked back in with a box in hand.

Logan perked up, recognizing the box immediately. “Pizza? From Loni’s?”

“Yep, Loni’s. Pepperoni and mushrooms.”

Logan got up from the bed. “Hunter, you hate mushrooms.”

“I’ll pick them out.” He chuckled. “Damn, we got no plates. I’ll see if—”

Hunter turned, met with a kiss from Logan, a hard kiss filled with rage and desire. Hunter grabbed the sides of his face and kissed him back. Logan ran his hands up and down Hunter’s warm skin and pushed him back toward the desk, unaware of his intensity.

“Whoa.” Hunter stopped him, almost falling backward onto the pizza.

Logan continued to kiss and tug at Hunter’s body in forceful, sudden movements, reaching down and grabbing at his crotch. He wanted this man, this cool, calm, and sexy man. Take me away, please, Logan desperately wanted to say.

“Logan, relax. It’s okay,” Hunter said, putting his arms in front of him to create distance.

“What’s wrong?”

“Let’s take things easy, catch up, have some pizza,” Hunter said in a soft, calming voice. Logan felt a change in Hunter. This wasn’t his normal reaction to him. Something was different, and he couldn’t handle it. He had to know. He had to know if Hunter was still his.

“Are you—are you with someone right now? Are you seeing someone?”

Hunter looked at him for a moment as if debating something in his mind. “Yes, I am.”

“Does she know you’re here?” Logan asked, eyes falling to the floor.

“He. It’s a ‘he.’ And yeah, he knows I’m here—with you.”

Logan’s eyes widened, the words taking his breath away. “He? Wow.” The sharp pang in his heart caused him to stagger. He couldn’t believe Hunter could ever replace what they had.

“He knows who you are to me and what we had.”

“Who am I to you?”

Hunter stared blankly. “What?”

“Who am I—to you? Tell me,” Logan asked, his lips trembling.

“You’re my best friend and the love of my life,” Hunter said.

Tears ran down Logan’s face. “Tell him. Tell him right now. Send him a text and tell him I’m the love of your life,” Logan demanded.

“What? Logan, calm down.”

“No. I want to see you tell him that!” he cried, his cheeks wet with tears.

“Tell your wife that!” Hunter yelled back, his face red with anger. “How dare you ask me to do something you’ve never had the courage to do yourself?”

Logan pulled his phone out of his pocket and opened it. “I’ll tell her right now.” He was ready this time, ready to end it all.

“Stop that.” Hunter snatched the phone out of his hand. “You’re not thinking clearly right now.”

“All I know is that I want you. I’ve always wanted you, and I shouldn’t have let anything get in the way of us. I don’t want to spend another second without you, but you clearly don’t feel the same,” Logan said, words filled with passion and hurt. The air in the room grew thin, and Logan felt as if he were suffocating. He hurried to the door to leave, no longer wanting to be in Hunter’s presence. Hunter rushed after him and slammed it shut. He pushed Logan back against the wall aggressively with his forearm at his neck.

“What the fuck is wrong with you, huh?!” Hunter yelled. “Are you crazy?”

“You don’t want me,” Logan panted as he cried with bloodshot eyes. Hunter forced a kiss on his lips, plunging his tongue deep inside, pressing his lips on Logan’s so hard it hurt.

“Of course, I want you, you fucking prick.” Hunter laughed, his eyes softening. Logan stared at his lips as Hunter continued holding him down. “Is this what you want? Huh?” Hunter pushed his hips against Logan’s again. “You want me to fuck you? Is that it?” Hunter shoved his tongue into Logan’s mouth, and Logan sucked on it. “You want me to suck your dick dry? Fuck you so hard you see stars and pass out?”

“Tell me,” Logan begged him.

“Tell you what?”

“Just tell me.” Logan barely made out the words, tears flowing from his eyes.

“You’re the love of my life. I love you, Logan Parker.”

“I love you, Hunter. I’ve never stopped loving you.”

Hunter lowered his arm from Logan’s neck and kissed him passionately. “Now, are you all done? Are you ready to have some pizza and beers with me and maybe watch some TV?” Hunter asked, as if talking to a child.

“I’ve missed this.” Logan sighed, running his fingers up and down Hunter’s chest. What he missed was a quiet evening in bed with Hunter, stuffed with pizza and beer after stroking each other to climax. Logan reached over with a big stretch and grabbed his phone from the nightstand, while Hunter placed a quick kiss on his back. “Fuck. Amber is losing it.”

“They’re looking for you, huh?” Hunter asked. “I mean, who can blame her? You’ve been gone for three hours. Are you gonna head out?”

“No,” Logan said. “I never get to do what I want. My father is dead. Stacy can deal with Mom, and Amber will take care of Emma.” Logan sounded like an adolescent complaining about his hardships.

“Logan, it’s your wife. As much as I want you here, you have to at least let her know you’re alright,” Hunter said.

“She said, ‘I hope you’re dead in a ditch somewhere.’ … ‘Thanks for your concern. Such kind words to say to me on the day of my father’s funeral. Don’t know when I’ll be back. Don’t wait up,’” he read as he typed on his phone. “She said, ‘You’re with Hunter, aren’t you?’” Logan put the phone inside the nightstand drawer and closed it.

“She knows about us?”

Logan laid back down and sighed. “She found out a few years ago. It fucked with our marriage—which was already rocky, plus the weight of a newborn baby, and all the hormones. She flipped out and made me block you on all social media.”

Hunter stared down at his lap for a moment as if searching for his words. “Your daughter is beautiful.”

Logan smiled to himself. “She’s amazing. She’s smart. I wish you could meet her.”

Suddenly, Hunter’s phone vibrated. “Hello, Gray? … Yeah, sorry, I meant to call you right back … What? What do you mean? … No, I don’t … Come on, you know I do … I love you … Yes, I’m with him … No, I haven’t … Great. Leave the key on the counter … B—” Hunter got cut off mid-sentence.

“That didn’t sound good,” Logan said, looking up at him while he pressed against Hunter’s chest.

“He’s not happy. I didn’t plan for this. I figured we’d talk, catch up, and at the least not act like complete strangers.”

“Do you love him?” Logan asked.

“I do,” Hunter said without hesitation.

“Do you love me?”

“I do. I’ll always love you.”

Logan didn’t want to live in a world where Hunter wasn’t his. “Why do you always have to be so honest? Tell me you love me and me alone.” Logan tossed his body over Hunter’s and clung to him with a dramatic flair.

Hunter let out a hearty laugh and ran his fingers through Logan’s hair. “You know I love you. Losing you was like a death to me. I was messed up for a while over it.”

“I’m so sorry. At the time, I didn’t want to feel like an extension of your life, like I was holding you back. Not getting into the New York program and then the distance didn’t make it easy. I love Emma, but I regret marrying Amber.”

“But these are real people, you can’t just discard them.”

Logan sounded as if he’d cry. “I’m not. I just don’t want to deal with anything right now. I don’t even want to exist.”

“Stop it. Don’t say that. I’m right here with you,” Hunter said, wrapping his arm around Logan’s body as they lay in bed.

“But you weren’t. That night I messaged you and told you that I loved you and missed you, I was going through it—bad,” Logan said.

“What are you talking about? What night?”

“The last time we spoke. A couple of years ago. I messaged your LaXBoii007 account, and you told me to fuck off.”

“No way, you’re making that up.”

Logan reached over to the nightstand and pulled out his phone. “I never deleted it.” He pulled up the messages and handed the phone to Hunter.

Hunter read through the texts with a puzzled look on his face as he scrolled through. “I never sent this. I—I don’t understand … What’s the date on these?”

Logan watched Hunter go through his phone, wondering whether he was being sincere. He never knew Hunter to lie, not to him anyway. “Maybe your boyfriend did it. What’s his name?”

“No, Grayson wouldn’t do that,” Hunter said, and handed the phone to Logan.

“Well, it’s over between you guys now anyway, isn’t it?”

Hunter’s phone rang again. “Great, I bet he burned my place down and bleached all of my clothes,” he joked, sitting up. “Hello? … Who is this? … Oh, hey Stacy,” Hunter said, surprised, and then put the phone on speaker. “Is Logan with me? Shouldn’t he be home with you all?”

“Logan won’t answer his phone. Mom is messed up in the head. People keep calling her number. Amber is losing her fucking mind. She thinks you and my brother have some sort of homosexual relationship. I told her that if he’s with you, it’s to have some guy time. Have you seen him?” she asked, frantic.

“No, not since the burial this afternoon.”

“Fuck. I can’t deal with this shit on my own. Have him call me if he reaches out to you. Where are you staying?”

“At the Valley Creek Inn. It’s the only place around,” Hunter said. “I’ll let you know if I talk to him.”

“Funny. I’m in the parking lot of the Valley Creek Inn staring at Logan’s car right now,” she shouted into the phone. Logan and Hunter’s eyes darted toward each other, Hunter, at a sudden loss for words. “Put my brother on the fucking phone!”

“Stacy, what is it?” Logan said into the phone, sitting up beside Hunter.

“Logan, come deal with your family shit. I don’t care that you’re gay for Hunter—like that’s news to anyone,” she sneered. “I need you home to deal with your hysterical wife.”

“Stace, I can’t. I need some time, please,” he begged her.

“How much time? An hour?”

“I don’t know. I won’t be home tonight.”

“Tomorrow?”

“I don’t know,” he said.

“God damn it, Logan.” Stacy’s voice sounded filled with frustration and anguish.

“Look, I’ve never asked you for anything—ever. All I ask is for you to buy me some time. A couple of days for now. I need a break. Tell Amber to fly back home.”

“She’s not going to leave. She’s going nuts. I’m about to give her a tranquilizer.”

“Try to convince her to go home.”

“Fine. But the lawyer is coming on Monday to go over the will, and we can’t do that without you.”

Logan shook his head at the phone and then quickly nodded while Hunter rubbed his back. “I promise I’ll be there for that. Give me the weekend. Please.”

“I’m so pissed off at you right now.”

“I know. I want you to know that I love you, so much,” he said with his voice cracking.

“Whatever, Logan,” she said, her voice breaking before hanging up.

Logan laid flat on his back again and covered his face with his palms in frustration. “Why is she even here? Fuck, what am I gonna do?”

Hunter ran his hands across Logan’s chest and over the hairs sprinkled across his pecs. “Nothing you can do now. I’m worried about your mental health. Let’s make sure you’re good now and figure out the rest later.”

“I love you. I’m sorry for everything I put you through. I want to make it right.”

Hunter leaned over, cupped his chin, and kissed him tenderly. “Let’s get some rest.”