13. The Games

Hunter

“Having the three of you together is always so nice,” Mrs. Parker said to Stacy, Logan, and Hunter as they sat around the fire drinking hot chocolate after dinner that evening. They’d just finished laughing through a racy card game.

“I’m headed to bed,” Mr. Parker said, drunk off a few sips of brandy. “I love you, my little darlings.” He went around giving everyone a hug and kiss one by one. Logan and Hunter sat on pillows on the floor on the other side of the coffee table.

“That sounds super creepy, Dad,” Stacy said. Hunter had avoided her glances all night. “I’m going to my room, too.”

“I’m going to put your father to bed,” Mrs. Parker said with a concerned look on her face and followed after him—leaving the guys alone in the living room.

Logan extended his hand on the floor, and Hunter touched it briefly, lightly stroking his skin. “My family likes you more than they like me,” Logan said as he put away the cards. “Figures they would pack board games.”

“Better than whatever my parents are up to right now.”

“Did you check the rest of your grades?”

Hunter’s eyes widened, the grades were the last thing on his mind. “I forgot to check. I will tomorrow. Don’t want to ruin a great day.”

“It’s been the best day,” Logan said. He looked down the hallway, as if listening for any sounds or movement and then his face met Hunter’s. Their tongues moved rapidly, sneaking a kiss before separating again.

“I can’t get enough of that,” Logan whispered, making Hunter’s face burn hot. “Everyone went to bed,” Logan said and leaned in again.

Hunter couldn’t resist; it had been several hours since they touched each other in the spa. They kissed tenderly before the fire, their yearning growing with each passing second.

Hunter stroked the side of Logan’s cheek, cupped his chin, and brushed his thumb across his bottom lip. “Let’s go.”

Logan gave his thumb a small peck and nodded. The corner of his eye, caught the movement of a figure, startling him. “Mom, hey. We’re going to uh—head out.”

She stood frozen for a moment and then hurried toward the open kitchen. “Sure, boys, let me pack you some chili for tomorrow so you don’t have to worry about cooking.”

Hunter and Logan’s eyes met, wide with fear.

“I’ll catch up with you,” Logan whispered. Hunter nodded, sensing everything crumbling down as he left the cabin.

Logan

Logan helped his mother pack the chili and clean up the kitchen in silence. She wiped the counter busily, the unspoken words made him sick to his stomach with worry. “Mom, are you okay?” Letting out a small whimper, she rushed toward her son, throwing her arms around him in a tight embrace. Logan hugged her back; her head ending at the nape of his neck.

“I love you so much,” she said. “No matter what. Do you know that?”

Logan’s smile grew into a small chuckle of relief. “I know, Mom. I love you, too. And, thank you.” He held her close, not wanting to let go.

She slowly pulled away with furrowed brows. “I hope you haven’t been suffering in silence with this your entire life. I thought I was more in tune with my children than that.”

“No, no—this is, I guess, recent,” he said, a warm sensation filling him up. The safe-space she provided for him through the years made it easy for him open up.

It surprised him to see her eyes water. “Would you mind if we talk about it? I won’t be able to sleep tonight with a million questions in my head,” she said.

They sat on the couch in front of the fire; told her about the past month and the events leading up to the trip.

“How long do you think Hunter may have been hiding feelings for you?” she asked.

“I’m not sure. I don’t think he was hiding anything. He was drunk the one night he kissed me and that sort of triggered everything.”

“I don’t think so. Usually, that stuff doesn’t spring up out of nowhere. Liquid courage is just that.”

“But I had never thought about him like that before, honestly,” he said. “I mean, I’ve always been curious, I guess. At least, I was never opposed to it. I’ve found both guys and girls attractive, but I thought everyone was like that. I’d never thought about it with Hunter before—before he kissed me.”

“Sometimes we don’t know what we will enjoy until we try it, or someone exposes us to it,” she explained. “Homosexuality among men, and women, but especially men, isn’t the most socially acceptable orientation. Gender and sexual orientation is fluid and there is a wide spectrum.”

“I know. Earlier, Hunter told me he couldn’t be with me because ‘we’re not gay’. We talked through it, but I think it’s a hard concept for him to wrap his head around.”

“I’d imagine so. I don’t believe Hunter’s feelings for you came out of nowhere. They must’ve built over time. I shouldn’t say ‘must have,’ but more than likely. Being sexually and romantically attracted to men is different from being attracted to a special soul that you love,” she said, her grin reached her ears.

Logan furrowed his eyebrows with a puzzled look on his face. “Love? I don’t think it’s that far in yet, Mom.”

“Don’t you love him?”

“I mean, yeah. He’s my best friend, of course I love him.”

“Loving someone as your best friend is the first step and, quite frankly, one many people miss before becoming romantically involved,” she said. “So, after all the back and forth, the fighting on the trip, and you being upset about Hunter and Stacy—although, it wasn’t really because you were trying to look out for Stacy.”

“It was a bit.” Logan laughed and then let out a deep sigh. “Seeing him or thinking about him with other girls pisses me off so much since the kiss. It never used to before. He also hates Andrea, by the way, and said he doesn’t like it when I’m with other girls.”

“Women, not ‘girls,’” his mother corrected him.

“Today, at the spa, we agreed that we wouldn’t see anyone else but each other.”

“So, now you’re ‘exclusive’?” she said with air quotes, her eyes lighting up. “Honey, I’m so proud of you.”

“Me? I haven’t done anything.”

“You know, some men spend their entire lives not living the life they wanted. Some go as far as committing suicide.”

Logan looked down at his lap and then back at his mother. “Am I gay?”

“I can’t answer that for you. It doesn’t matter what you call it. You’re in love with someone who loves you back. That’s all that matters.”

“You’re saying ‘love’, not me.” He laughed, his cheeks turning red as he rubbed his forehead. “We’ve hardly done anything but kiss.”

“Some of the strongest relationships take a while to develop sexually. Speaking of, how do you feel about your sexual relationship?”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“Have you and Hunter talked through what you both desire from one another, sexually?”

Logan couldn’t help but laugh and shake his head. “I’m not sure I want to talk about that right now, or ever, with you.”

“Fine, fine,” she said, raising her hands up in defeat. “Remember, water-based lubes are for vaginas, silicone is for anal and toys.”

The contortion of Logan’s face was almost immediate. “Ugh, I did not want to hear that from you.”

“I’m so happy for you. Please, talk to me about anything.”

“Thanks, Mom, I’m lucky to have you. Please, don’t tell Dad.”

“I tell him everything, he’s my husband. Especially when it comes to you and Stacy.”

Logan got up and slipped on his coat, ready to face the fifty yards to his cabin through the bitter storm. “Well, hold off then. I’ll tell him in my own way.”

“When you figure out your feelings for Hunter, don’t hesitate to tell him. I don’t think he hears it often at home. Be patient with him, you’re both wonderfully different souls.”

Logan panted as he walked through the door, trying his best to shake the snow off his boots and get warm. “Shit, it’s cold. You’re still up?” Logan asked. “Sorry it took so long.”

Hunter muted the television and got up from the couch in a hurry. “I couldn’t sleep if I wanted to. What happened? What’d she say?”

Logan took off his coat and tossed it on a chair. “Stay there, I’ll come to you.”

Hunter extended his trembling hands. “Logan, I’m freaking out. I’m shaking—look.”

“Hey, relax.” Logan walked over, took him by the hands, and sat on the couch.

“Did she freak out? Do you think she’ll tell my parents?”

“No, no. We had a nice, long talk.”

“Talk about what? What did you say? What did she say?”

“She says she loves us and supports us and she’s proud of us,” Logan said in a calming voice, stroking his hand.

“What? No way. Why would she say that? She wasn’t freaking out?”

Logan laughed in an attempt to minimize it as much as possible. “No, are you kidding? She wants you in our family so bad you could’ve been making out with my dad, and she would have been thrilled.”

“But what did she say?”

“I told you! We talked about everything, I told her about how it started and how I felt and how I felt you felt and some of what we talked about today—”

“Wait, you told her all of that?”

“Yeah, and she listened and loves the idea of us together. Says that most men fight their feelings, but she’s glad we’ve embraced it … something like that.”

Hunter let go of his hands and stared blankly at the corner of the room.

“Hey, are you okay? What’s up? There’s nothing to worry about. My mom is pretty understanding.”

“Yeah, I—” Hunter said, shaking his leg nervously. “This is … all of this, this is a lot for me to process. I feel so … I dunno, exposed. It’s too much.”

“Talk to me. What feels like a lot?”

Hunter got up from the couch. “I’m going to bed. We can talk in the morning.”

“Stop, don’t shut down now—”

“I’m not shutting down! I’m tired and I’m going to bed,” Hunter shouted, his face a bright red.

Be patient with Hunter. Logan’s mother’s voice echoed in his ears. He didn’t say another word and rubbed his forehead with his palm. Every time he felt close to Hunter, he pulled away.

Hunter

Hunter lay in bed that night riddled with regret—for his behavior, for kissing Logan so publicly, and not being more careful. He checked his phone and noticed an unopened text message. It was from Mrs. Parker.

You’re an amazing person. I love you. No matter what.

He was embarrassed by it, but at the same time, the message made him feel warm and reassured. She clearly didn’t have an issue with what was going on between him and Logan—so what was his problem? He suddenly felt terrible for Logan. He pictured him alone in his room, saddened that their promise to each other was broken so soon.

He got up from bed and made his way to Logan’s room. Logan slept on his side, facing away from the door. Hunter slowly slipped into the covers behind Logan and cradled his almost nude body with his. Logan pushed back a little, finding the perfect fit in Hunter’s arms.

“I’m sorry,” Hunter whispered and kissed behind Logan’s ear a few times. Logan took hold of Hunter’s hand and clasped it against his chest.