Chapter Seventeen

D reary gray clouds loomed low in the late afternoon sky. Amanda closed her trunk and slid into the driver’s seat. Summer officially started two hours ago. She’d stayed and completed the paperwork for summer school, which began next week. As she drove home, she wondered what Kasey was up to.

How she missed him. His sweet ways, his humor, his tending to things she didn’t ask or expect him to do. Her heart and head were at war—her heart ready to accept whatever time he could give her, her head not willing to settle for another part-time partner. She massaged her left temple, trying to stop the battle. There was no reason she needed to put more pressure on their relationship.

She drove onto her driveway, into her tiny garage, and killed the engine. When she lifted the box from her trunk, a blue Camry drove up her drive. A tall redheaded man with freckled skin slid out and approached her. “Amanda?”

“Yes.”

“I’ve been trying to get in touch with you. You were hard to track down.”

“Track down?” She studied the guy, trying to place him and having no luck.

“Yes. Probably because you don’t use Rymes anymore.”

She hadn’t used her maiden name since she married Barry. She glared at him. What would he want with Amanda Rymes?

“I’m Ian Holden.”

The lead weight of guilt and sadness she’d experienced after her parents’ crash, jammed her gut and throat at the same time. No wonder she couldn’t place him. He’d been banged up and, in a coma, the last time she saw him. She could hardly breathe. She set the box in her arms on the trunk of her car. Wait.

“You’re standing.”

He smiled. “I am. I beat the odds. My family said you were at the hospital every day until I came out of the coma.”

He’s not bound to a wheelchair.

All this time she’d wondered what happened to him. If he was still alive. If he had any quality of life. His injuries were so extensive, he’d had three surgeries while in the coma. Although the doctors were optimistic he’d live, they weren’t sure what his quality of life would be and said he’d probably never walk again. She thought of him every day since the wreck, but couldn’t bring herself to check on his health. She felt too responsible. Too scared of what his life might entail. Now, here he was. Standing. Looking healthy.

A hot rush of relief swept over her.

“I tried to get in touch with you, but you disappeared, and your lawyer refused to give me your contact information.”

A barrage of happy tears overwhelmed her. She covered her face with her hands and wept so hard she lost her breath.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

Too emotional, she couldn’t tell him she was more than okay. Seeing him standing repaired a part of her shattered heart. She heard a vehicle drive up, then a door slam. She lifted her head and blinked rapidly to clear her vision.

Kasey. Excitement at seeing him gave way to fear when she noticed he had a black eye and a white bandage covering his right cheek. “What happened?”

“I’m fine.” When he made it to her, he leaned down and softly kissed her lips. Concern filled his words. “Why are you crying? What’s wrong.”

“Nothing. Everything is perfect.” She buried her head in his chest and cried harder.

He held her close, one hand rubbing her back and the other her nape while he spoke to Ian. “If things are perfect, what do you think she’s like when she’s down?”

Head still buried, she laughed. Her heart pounded with years of release.

“You’re Hunter Kase. I can’t believe it,” Ian said.

“Call me Kasey.”

“Ian Holder. It’s surreal to meet you. I never miss your show.”

She listened to their conversation as she got her emotions under control.

“Great to meet a viewer.” He was always so polite to fans.

With a sniff, she raised her head and turned. Kasey kept one arm around her shoulder. She cleared the wetness from her face with her fingers. “Ian is the man who was in the collision with my parents.”

Kasey squeezed her shoulder.

“As you can see, he isn’t in a wheelchair. Isn’t it incredible?”

“What do you do, Ian,” Kasey asked.

“I’m a doctor.”

How wonderful.

“I was explaining to Amanda how I’ve been searching for her for years.”

Thunder rumbled in the distance.

She cleared her throat. “Why don’t we go inside. You can tell us why you wanted to find me.”

Amanda entered the house, her mind a chaotic, grateful jumble. She was surprised, thankful, and thrilled Ian’s life turned out so well. And somehow, she felt lighter. All of her—her body, her mind, her spirit—lighter.

Once they were in the house and seated around the kitchen table, each of them with a glass of sweet tea, Ian said, “I was a twenty-five-year-old deadbeat. I illegally sold marijuana and still lived with my parents. All my money went to drugs and booze. Although I hadn’t been drinking the night of the accident, another time and place and I’d have been the drunk driver. When I woke from the coma, my family told me how you spent hours at the hospital.”

He hesitated and looked at her. “You never showed up again once I woke.”

“I was there the day you woke, but couldn’t face you,” she explained. “That day I left for college.”

“I see. Well, in the six months after the wreck, I had three more surgeries. One performed by a neurosurgeon who helped me walk again. My recovery took two years. I’ve not looked back since. I’m now a neurologist, married to a wonderful woman, and we have three boys.”

“I can’t tell you how relieved I am your life turned out so well.”

“I couldn’t have done it without your help. I didn’t have money and neither did my parents. That half a million you signed over truly changed everything. You saved my life.”

Taking a deep breath, her whole body calmed. She’d searched for peace, for quietness, for internal harmony for years, but this was the first time she’d achieved it. Maybe the first time in her whole life.

“Half a million?” Kasey looked shocked.

“Money from my father’s insurance policy minus what it’d cost to bury my parents and pay the lawyer to deliver the money to Ian and keep my whereabouts secret.”

“You gave him all the insurance money?”

“I sold the furniture in the apartment and had the money in their bank account and savings. I was fine.” She sipped from her glass.

“If you were in college, I’m sure you could’ve used that money.” Ian sat back in his chair. “I’d like to repay you.”

She choked on the tea and coughed. “Absolutely not. You don’t understand. I felt like the wreck was my fault.” She explained about driving her parents around when they were drinking and how she’d been at college orientation the day of the crash.

“You weren’t responsible for them,” Ian insisted.

“After years of therapy, a river of tears, and beating myself up, I can honestly say—” Amanda took a cleansing breath. “No, I wasn’t.”

Kasey lovingly looked at her and clapped.

She smiled as she swallowed back more tears. Her voice was hoarse and choppy. “I can’t believe it. I haven’t been able to get rid of the crushing blame since the accident. But now, after meeting you, the guilt has vanished.”

~

K asey thoroughly enjoyed the evening with Amanda and Ian. They called for Chinese food and ate while they each spoke of their lives. Ian, of being poor growing up, never thinking he could change his circumstances, and the calamity of having triplets. Amanda, about constantly moving and how she’s never been beaten at pool since she turned fifteen. Kasey, of being the middle son of five boys and the mischief he and his brothers often got into. They shared the silliest memories and deeply personal events. The conversation never hit a lull.

The best part of everything was seeing Amanda so ... the only word that came to Kasey’s mind was free . There was a lilt to her voice, a brightness in her expression he’d never seen before. Meeting Ian, learning about him, had let her past be put in the past.

He still wanted to hold her parents accountable, and doubted he’d ever feel differently, but he’d keep his opinion to himself. She loved them. He’d respect that.

They walked Ian out to his car. The storm had passed, and the smell of wet grass lifted on the breeze. The motion lights on her back door and garage lit up the yard and drive.

“Please keep in touch,” Amanda said. “I’d love to hear about how you’re doing.”

Ian smiled. “I have your number. You can bet my wife will call you and want to meet.”

“I look forward to it.” She hugged him. “Ian,” her voice wavered again. “I wish I could tell you what meeting you has meant to me.”

“I just wish you’d let me repay you somehow.”

She dismissed his words, using a shooing motion with her hands. “You finding me and visiting today is worth more than anything.”

He shook Kasey’s hand. “It was nice to meet you, Kasey.”

“Thanks for searching for her. She needed this to happen.” He smiled.

Ian left, and Kasey turned toward Amanda not able to wait any longer to say, “I love you.”

A radiant smile took over her face.

When she opened her mouth to speak, he rushed on and pointed to the bandage. “I fell while climbing Cima Grande.”

She put her palm on his other cheek.

“I’ll heal.” He grasped her hand between his. “My life flashed before me on the way down. I’d love to tell you it was the first time that’s happened, except it wasn’t. Each time, the rush and the adrenaline of surviving urged me on to more dangerous challenges.” A surge of emotion swamped him. He cleared his throat. “I realized that since the holdup I’ve been proving I can cheat death again and again.”

“Oh, Kasey.” She squeezed his hand.

“My dad told me he thought I would stop taking such high risks when I found something or someone more important than the rush. You are the someone.”

Her eyes glistened.

“All I could think of as I plummeted downward was how I wished I’d told you I love you. How I wanted to be with you instead of climbing that cold, hard, slippery rock. I quit. For the immediate future, I just want to be with you.”

“I can’t be the reason you quit,” she protested. “That’s not a way to start our relationship. Plus, I also realized something the last few days. Even though I missed you like crazy, I can handle you being gone. I’m willing to travel with you at times, and I want you to tell me about your stunts. You don’t have to quit.”

“I’m glad you’re open to me being gone, because I have ideas on what I’ll do next and it does include travel. But it’s time for me to leave the show. The challenges don’t excite me anymore and that will translate onto the screen. I don’t want to half-heartedly do anything. Including loving you. I’m all in.”

She squealed, hugged him tightly, and took his hand. “Come inside.” She led him through the back door and to the bathroom. She pointed to the mosaic. There was only one tiny uncompleted spot right in the middle. “I couldn’t finish it without you.”

“Why is that?” Without letting her answer, he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her, aching for a taste of her. She pressed her lips against his with the sweetest pressure. He pulled away, knowing if he kissed her any deeper, he’d pick her up and take her to her bedroom. Which he planned to do soon, but she’d brought him here for a reason.

Her eyes opened slowly and were filled with desire. He loved how receptive she was.

“I couldn’t finish without you because...” She released him, opened the cabinet where she kept the supplies, and leaned down. When she rose, she had glue in one hand and her other made a fist. “The last piece belongs to you.” She opened her hand, and in her palm was a heart-shaped piece of tile. “My heart.”

“I want all of you, forever, you and me, every day.” ~ Noah Calhoun ~ The Notebook