Chapter Fifteen

S ensing Amanda’s delicate state after she’d shared so much about her past, Kasey lightly clasped her hand and led her toward the shore. The rush, hiss, and whispering retreat of the ocean water soothed him. The cool breeze caressed his face, which he needed since he’d been inside most of the day. He’d kept busy and slept for a few hours while she was asleep. Then, while Amanda spoke of her past, he began to feel closed in. It’d taken all his strength not to show his anger while she shared what she’d been through.

He wished he hadn’t reacted or said anything. At least, he’d caught himself from spiraling too far and making her overly angry at him.

“Dre, Zack, and I spent loads of time here during high school. My brothers and cousins were here a lot too. We’d play volleyball, frisbee, football, you name it.” He kept his voice light. “During fall, we’d drive up on Friday nights following football games if someone didn’t throw a party. We didn’t come as much in the spring because of weekend baseball tournaments.”

They stepped through the last of the grass and onto the expanse of sand. Faraway lights from boats on the ocean bobbed in the darkness. The beach was deserted at this hour. He turned toward Amanda and made out most of her features from the cabin’s lights.

“Did you go to many football games?” he asked.

“Not in high school, but I did my first year in college. My roommate dated a guy who played on the offensive line. Then Barry and I married before my second year. He entered The Navy and was stationed at New London Base in Groton, Connecticut. I finished college there and worked as a waitress.”

“What does Barry do?”

“His degree is in nuclear science. From the moment we met, he spoke of joining The Navy and becoming a submarine commander. Barry would be out for at least six months at a time and volunteered for every extra assignment available. His career was, and still is, very important to him. I respect that. It’s always been his dream.”

“Not yours, though.”

“I didn’t have a dream. After I graduated, I continued to wait tables. That allowed me to take off whenever Barry returned to town. When he got orders for a yearlong unaccompanied assignment, I realized my life revolved around him. I thought, ‘What am I doing? What do I want?’ It wasn’t Barry’s fault. After my parents’ death, I think I needed time to decompress. Connecticut and being alone much of the time helped me do that. But I needed to join life again, and I didn’t want to do it with a part-time husband.”

“So how did you end up here?”

She grinned. “Well, I stayed in Connecticut for two years and worked as a counselor. I hated it. I wanted a fresh start. So, Barry blindfolded me and taped a huge map of the U.S. to the wall. I didn’t know if he’d put it upside down, sideways, high or low on the wall, or more on one side than the other. Then he spun me around, put a dart in my hand, and I threw it. I hit the center of Houston, crazy as it sounds.”

“You let fate decide your whole future?” He tugged her closer to the water.

“No, just my next step. I checked into being a school counselor. Until just a couple of years ago, Texas required school counselors to teach for two years but changed that law. I applied for the job at Goodson High School and got it.”

They stopped and stood next to each other, still holding hands. Cool, refreshing water rushed over their feet.

He squeezed her hand. “Thank you for telling me about your parents. I’m sure it wasn’t easy.”

“You made it easier than I thought it’d be.”

They started down the sandy shoreline, staying where the water lapped at their feet. The black sky began to give way to gray.

“My doctor suggested I spend time at the beach to recover from the shooting.”

“Makes sense.” Amanda nodded. “The ocean has been known to trigger the parasympathetic nervous system in people. The sound, the breeze, and the water help them relax and feel calm.”

“It did. I even slept on the deck at night.” He walked away from the water and spread the blanket hanging over his shoulder on the sand. He held her hand as she sat and took the spot next to her.

“You commented on me being high maintenance the night of Quinn’s party.”

Regret weighed on his shoulders. “I was a drunken ass. Please don’t hold me responsible for the things I said.”

“I just want you to know you were wrong about me. I didn’t have much money after my parents died, and it takes a lot for me to spend money. I do like finer things, but I buy them secondhand or at greatly reduced prices. I color my own hair because I started getting gray at the age of nineteen. I do my own nails and spend very little money on them. My makeup is from the drugstore instead of a specialty store. The renovations on the house I’m doing are with discounted or free materials. I’m probably the most frugal person you know.”

“You’re amazing. You should have a DIY show.”

She laughed. “No, thank you. I judge myself enough. I don’t need others doing it as well.”

He understood. Many of the people who watched Hunter Kase gave their opinions on different media channels. Sometimes the reviews were awesome, other times they were frustrating.

The gray sky lightened to red.

She stretched out on her back. “It’s lovely out here.”

“You’re lovely.” He leaned over her and looked into her eyes.

“So are you.” She blinked, looking like it took great effort to keep her eyes open.

“I want to kiss you.”

“I wouldn’t object.”

He shook his head and settled on his back beside her. “I’m not sure I could stop at a kiss.”

“I wouldn’t object.”

His heart skipped a beat. “You’ve been through too much turmoil lately. When and if you help me break my celibacy vow, I want you to be one hundred percent.”

“I am one hundred percent.” She yawned.

“Your exhaustion suggests otherwise.”

“The sunrise is as beautiful as the one we saw the morning I met you for camping.” She yawned again. “The night before I joined you, I told Quinn I’d be chasing sunrise to get there and get home as soon as possible, thinking I’d have a horrible time. But I wish I’d stayed with you a few days so we could chase sunrise together each morning.”

~

A manda woke, rested and her body out of distress. Sunlight filtered through the curtains. She rolled onto her side and replayed watching the sunrise with Kasey before he tucked her into bed.

She’d invited him to stay, but he’d admitted he couldn’t be trusted not to touch her, and they both needed sleep. She’d been exhausted from the hangover and emotional rollercoaster of telling Kasey about her parents and her self-loathing because of their deaths.

Her phone read eleven a.m. She rose, showered, and brushed her teeth. Quietly, she padded down the hallway to the kitchen and snatched a container of watermelon out of the fridge and a plastic fork from a cup on the counter. She stepped back down the hall and didn’t stop at the bedroom she’d been using. Instead, she went to the other bedroom door.

Kasey was asleep on his stomach.

Silently, she approached the bed and sat beside him.

He rolled to his side and opened his eyes.

She stuck the fork into a piece of watermelon to hold it and ran her fingers through his hair. “Is it okay I’m here?”

“I love that you’re here, but I still can’t be trusted,” he answered, his voice gravelly.

“Good. I’m one hundred percent. No headache, no body aches, no tears, no regrets.” She smiled and offered him a piece of fruit.

“Is that right?” He took the bite and chewed while studying her. Desire flared in his hazel eyes.

She wanted to forget everything and lose herself in his arms, in his touch, in his kiss. “I’m here because I want to be with you. You’re the first guy I’ve even been attracted to since my divorce. I know you’re leaving tomorrow. I accept that. I’m not asking you to rearrange your life for me.” She fed him another bite and took one more herself before she put the container on the side table. Pulling back the covers, she slid in next to him, faced him, and aligned their bodies. His heat encompassed her immediately.

She pressed her lips to his. His mouth was cool and sweet. His arms encircled her, tugging her body even closer, deepening the kiss. She felt suspended, almost like she was falling into him. The kiss reminded her of their first. It felt right, new, and different from what she’d ever experienced. When she expected him to take the lead, he held back, teasing her in a way both exciting and unsatisfying at the same time.

She buried her head in his neck while moving her hand to his chest. Then she let it wander lower. He softly moaned as she captured his lips again.

He pulled her atop him and situated her knees on either side of his hips. “You’re in control, Amanda. Whatever you want.”

He knew. She wasn’t sure how, but he knew how much she needed to be in control of something in her life. She concentrated on pleasuring him, eager to learn what he liked and what made him impatient.

She took his shirt and shorts off and kissed him from head to toe. He grasped the shirt she wore and pulled it over her head. He rolled them over and stripped her out of the rest of her clothes while exploring her body—an extraordinarily blissfully, whisper-soft sweet exploration. Pleasure sparked in her every cell like the crackling of firewood. Sensual heat warmed her everywhere.

When neither of them could stand anymore, he reached for his wallet on the nightstand and pulled out a condom. She grabbed it from him and took care of it, then lifted her body above him again. He gripped her hips and guided her until her body settled fully on top of his. The world came down to only them, nothing else existed. Only Kasey driving her out of her mind with tender ecstasy.

~

A manda stayed on top of Kasey; her sated body draped over his. “I thought you’d be more a conqueror than a coaxer,” she said.

He tenderly rubbed her back. “I didn’t think that’s what you wanted this time.”

“It wasn’t. It was perfect.”

“Agreed.” He kissed the top of her head.

“I might like to see your conqueror side one day.”

“You name the time and place, honey. I’ll be there.”

She raised her head and met his gaze. Her heart kicked. She wasn’t sure when it happened, but the protective walls she’d erected around her heart had crumbled. She knew without a shadow of a doubt, she loved him.

Unsure what that meant for their future, she forced herself to concentrate on the here and now. Instead of blurting out, “I love you,” she said, “Remember I told you how adept Barry was at lovemaking?”

Clearly annoyed, he scowled. “How could I forget?”

“As good as it might have been, it didn’t compare to being with you.”

His face eased into a satisfied expression.

“I can’t explain it. You and I seemed to go someplace all our own. Like nothing else mattered as long as your focus and attention were on me. It was by far the biggest turn-on of my life.”

“A pretty lofty statement,” he returned, even though she could tell how pleased he was by her words. “And damn hard for me to live up to the next time.”

She grinned and slightly nudged his body with hers.

He instantly hardened.

“Somehow, I don’t think it’ll be a problem.”

The next second he rolled them over and covered her body with his.

She laughed.

“Prepare to be conquered.” He began his pilgrimage of her body leaving no doubt if he chose to he could conquer the world.

~

A manda slowly woke , her body tingling from a day spent with Kasey at the cabin talking, going for walks, and making love. She opened her eyes to find the sun had set, but a nightlight filled the room with a soft glow. Kasey stretched out on his back beside her, his hand possessively on her thigh. The sheet came to his waist, giving her a view of his glorious upper body. Even after a pleasure-filled day in and out of bed, she still wanted to touch him. Stopping herself, she didn’t want to disrupt his resting. She’d never seen him so at peace, wished he could be this serene all the time.

She moved to her back.

He must have felt her because he snuggled up beside her.

“We’ll have to get going soon,” she said. “We still have to get my car.”

“I know.” He pressed his lips to her temple.

“Where do you live, Kasey?”

“I rent a furnished apartment in Los Angeles. But, as you know, I’ve spent very little time there the last few months.”

Unsure how he’d react to what she said next, Amanda took a deep breath. “While you’re away, I don’t want to discuss your work.”

He propped himself up on his elbow and looked down at her.

She frowned. “Barry took part in dangerous exercises. I had to ask the same of him.”

“I understand. I’m not even sure what kind of phone service we’ll have in the Alps.”

“I’m sorry if it sounds like I don’t care.”

His lips straightened. “Quite the opposite.”

She smiled, glad he understood.

“We still haven’t put a label on this.” He traced her body over the sheet. “On us.”

“I can’t right now. Now that we’re...that we’ve...I’m going to have to see how much you being away bothers me.”

“Don’t go in with that attitude,” he insisted. “Be positive, know it’s not going to bother you.”

Her brows furrowed. “You want me to like that you’re gone?”

He froze, suddenly serious. “Well, no.”

She nodded. “Exactly.”

“Climbing and soloing aren’t worth dying for, but they are worth risking dying for.”

~ Todd Skinner