Chapter 40

Aiden woke up to the sound of a running shower. The door to the bathroom was left ajar and steam seeped into the room, disappearing into the ventilation outlet in the ceiling. He must've fallen asleep after he'd fucked Darren. Thanks to the aftereffect of exertion and multiple orgasms, his mind was strangely placid as if his thoughts were tucked away in some corner just out of reach. For the first time in forever, okay was how he felt, at least physically.

The sound of water drumming against glass stopped just as Aiden was about to slip out of Darren's bed. A heartbeat later, Darren came out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped low around his waist. Bruises from Aiden's hands were visible on both his sides.

Seeing Darren naked brought back Aiden's demons, unleashed them out of their fickle cage. He'd made a mistake. Sleeping with Darren was not supposed to happen. He'd come here to appease the void in him, to fill it up with the satisfaction of hurting the man who'd hurt him the most.

Aiden shuddered as the phantom touch of Darren's fingers caressed his jaw. As it reminded him of that scorching hot desire, of the shameless need and want that lived in him. He'd thought he could force them down, dominate them, just like he could control his anger, but he'd been wrong. They were too much, too overwhelming, and they'd gone out of control last night, making it impossible to stop before he'd had Darren writhing and whimpering under him.

Taking a deep breath, Aiden sat up. "Howe. Why didn't you wake me up?" he grated, needles racing across his skin.

He needed to leave so he could forget about this. So he could rationalize it, why he'd given into the lust like this and fucked Darren Howe of all people. Why he'd allowed himself to mix the need to hurt and inflict pain with that to feel pleasure. He'd been fighting this for so long, halting it, forcing it down, yet last night he'd lost the battle. He'd slipped when all he'd wanted to do was punish Darren, but instead he'd sent himself plunging into an ocean of desire he couldn't escape.

Why?

The answer was simple, when he allowed himself a moment to think about it. Darren Howe embodied all the things Aiden was warring with on the inside—the anger, the hurt, the despair, the need and the craving—a combination he hadn't been able to resist because it was familiar in this new life of unknowns. No matter how wrong, no matter how fucked up, he'd been powerless against that bittersweet pull he'd never thought he would feel after Claudia.

"I didn't wake you up because you haven't slept properly in who knows how many days," Darren said, his voice hoarse and still a little raw. It betrayed more than the strain Aiden had put on him last night, though he didn't venture to guess what, and instead just watched Darren pick up a spare towel from a drawer. "Go have a shower, then eat something."

Darren tossed the towel to Aiden, who considered protesting the one-sided decision to let him sleep in. He gave up arguing. He had needed the rest, even if he should've never come here. And he needed to be alone now, so the quicker he got this over with, the quicker he could forget about it.

"How close are we to the Moon?" Aiden said, not voicing any of his thoughts as he crawled out of the bed. Darren Howe was still the man he wanted to kill, still the man that had destroyed his life, and not someone he should care about even if they were technically on the same side now.

Darren's eyes didn't linger on Aiden's nakedness, sparing him only a glance. "About two hours out." He held Aiden's gaze and opened his mouth as if to say more, but then shook his head. "I'll be in the mess hall."

Thankful Darren had chosen not to make this awkward, Aiden went into the bathroom and turned on the shower, enjoying the extra space the Valrais heir's quarters offered because he knew he wouldn't be coming here again.

Darren, Bea and Nyle were sitting at the dining table when Aiden made it to the mess hall, eating what looked to be military-grade rations. Not the best and definitely nothing like real food, but still better quality than the goo paste served in prisons. They were chatting too, Nyle draped over one of the two cushiony couches with a mug in hand, Darren lounging in the armchair across from him, and Bea scowling at her handheld gaming console from the second sofa.

Their banter ceased as Aiden started the coffee dispenser by the sink and poured himself a cup. He was still wearing the frilly top and snug pants Nan had given him, but he doubted that was the reason for their intense, and frankly, a little disturbing stares. His visit to Darren's quarters seemed a more plausible explanation, at least until he took a sip from his coffee and their inquisitive stares turned positively bemused. Nyle even giggled.

"This tastes foul," Aiden complained, then proceeded to take another sip as he leaned against the sleek gray cupboards lining the wall.

"It's priority one on the shopping list," Nyle said, waving his tablet. "One point above actual food and the engineer."

Bea snorted. "I thought priority one was the food?"

"Yes, before I had the pleasure of murdering my taste buds with this sad excuse for coffee," the blond man argued, frowning at Bea.

Aiden watched the two bicker back-and-forth, the comfort with which they nipped at each other making them seem like long-standing friends rather than two people who'd been strangers until yesterday. Perhaps it was because of Nyle's effortless easygoingness, or maybe it was the fact that they both knew they stood on the same side, something Aiden couldn't say had been the case for him when he'd met the fiery-haired woman.

Shifting his attention to Darren, Aiden met the man's intensive indigo eyes, the purple hues of them more prominent here in the well-lit room than in the dimness of Darren's quarters. Last night, they'd reminded Aiden of the depthless midnight expanse that the universe was, but now, they were more like clouds of colorful stardust. Unwavering in their tantalizing intrusion that seemed to reach Aiden's soul, they remained locked on him, contradicting Darren's earlier disinterest and making Aiden look away so he wouldn't drown in them. Fortunately, the viewport to his left provided a convenient place for his gaze to land on, presenting him with the ashen planes of the Moon.

Just like on Mars, gleaming domes housed the Moon's cities. These ones were smaller, poorer too, reflecting the state of the economy, but just as fascinating in their architecture and engineering.

"When do we disembark?" Aiden asked Bea before his mind had attempted to analyze the GN's preferential treatment of Mars.

"In about twenty minutes. We'll stay docked for a day, which should give you plenty of time to take care of the shopping list and pick up Kristen while Nyle and I make sure we are all set for the journey back."

"I'll be the one picking him up?" Aiden sought to confirm, looking between Bea and Nyle.

She shrugged with one shoulder. "You and Darren. Unless you rather handle ship maintenance?"

Aiden didn't really know much about ships. "I'm not sure I'll be of much use with that," he told her and put his now-empty cup in the dishwasher. He contemplated for a second, before adding in what he hoped came out as a half-joking tone, "I thought you weren't letting Nyle anywhere near the ship's systems."

"That was before I told her how to program the rotating credentials," Nyle piped up, beaming with pride.

"Yep. We are best buddies now," she laughed, giving Aiden a conspiratorial wink. "We spent the whole trip here bonding over algorithms in his room."

And he'd spent the whole night drowning in the man across from him.The fresh memories of their dirty kisses and Darren's roaming hands, the heat of his body and the squeeze of his ass unleashed a liquid-hot wave through Aiden. It concentrated at the base of his spine, but he pushed it down, cut it off and his thoughts before they'd had the chance to spiral out of control and make him do something stupid like push Darren down and have him again.

Aiden smiled Bea's way and focused on how strange her sudden friendliness made him feel. It wasn't in a bad way, but he also didn't really know what to do with it or how to interpret it, so he didn't dwell on it.