Chapter 16

Aiden couldn't breathe. Part of him didn't want to either, too conscious of the amber stone in his pocket. But he fought that urge and his erratic heartbeat, enforcing calmness upon himself as the thud of Darren's footsteps ceased to reach his ears. Even so, the sensation of Darren's fingers caressing his cheek stayed, electric as it spread through him and touched something raw and ugly that made him crave that contact again.

Goosebumps rose all over Aiden, his body betraying him as a wave of yearning rode his blood south. He was hard. Aroused. His skin was tingling and his dick was straining against his uniform pants.

Banging his fisted hand against the closest metal frame, Aiden growled and bit the inside of his cheek. What had he been thinking, allowing things to get out of hand again? How could he, seduction be damned? He was the one in charge, he was dictating the pace, he was making the moves, playing Darren so he could not only end the man, but also crush his world.

This was supposed to be a game. A performance, his reactions and words carefully scripted so Darren would not question why he would be called out in the middle of the night a day from now. Not this. Not Aiden losing control of his own self and letting things go too far. He hated himself in this moment more so than he hated Darren. Anger and grief stabbed him in the chest, condemning his reaction to the other man and the desperate need that he'd failed to fully suppress.

Guilt crushed him. He'd not felt this way since Claudia. He didn't like to be touched, could barely tolerate it. Yet Darren had managed to bypass all of that, to rile Aiden up and remind him after so long, what it meant to crave, to experience desire that hijacked all senses. Aiden had given in and he hated that the most, that he'd allowed himself to revel in the touch, to soak it up and let it engulf him even if he'd known it was wrong.

But he wouldn't make that mistake again, he wouldn't let control slip away from him. Not even if Darren Howe was the first person in more than two years to awaken things he wasn't sure still even existed within him.

Aiden focused on regulating his breathing and, after a while, chased away most of the lingering titillation. He locked up and stopped by his office, then took the space shuttle back to Europa. When he entered his condo, the lights flickered on upon detecting motion, washing the corridor in a warm hue of yellow. Shoes and coat off, he went straight for the drinks dispense system in his kitchen. He was not one to rely on alcohol when he'd had a stressful day, but today was just too much.

Sitting at the breakfast counter overlooking the lounge portion of his living room, he turned the TV on. The late news was in the middle of delivering their reports for the weather tomorrow, which meant that he'd missed the actually important stuff. That being the case, he changed to a sports channel, finding the constant talk of the commentators a much more enjoyable ambience. He sipped his whiskey slowly, the ice clinking as he drank one glass first, then a second and a third, until the warm buzz was enough to mute any thoughts of Darren Howe's sensual caress and the remnants of Aiden's desperate need for more of it.

By the time he'd had enough to drink, some of the tension had left his shoulders and he was more than ready to enjoy a long soak in his bathtub. He popped into his bedroom to undress, then proceeded to the bathroom across it, adding mint-scented bath salts to the water.

A minute was all it took before he relaxed and closed his eyes.

Aiden must've drifted off because when awareness crept back in, the water had cooled to an uncomfortable temperature. His neck was cramping from being stuck in the same position for a while, and he felt like a truck had run him over, pummeled him into the ground and smashed his bones. Dreams lingered at the peripheral of his mind, his and Claudia's apartment on Mars taking the center spot.

As always, Aiden only caught a glimpse of those memories before they scattered and the apartment changed to the one on Earth. He'd abandoned it after Claudia's murderer had been caught in hopes of finding out what had truly happened to her and why, and then eventually he'd ended up here on Europa.

Less than twenty-four hours away from the answers.

Hoisting himself up with more effort than it ought to take, Aiden drained the tub and let the hot stream of the shower warm him anew. His mind circled back to Darren, to those imploring eyes, to the heat emanating from his body so close by, and he shuddered from a bittersweet rush down his spine. He grabbed the base of his cock and squeezed it. The bolt of pain made him grit his teeth, but it also helped him regain control no matter how tempting it was to give into the unwanted excitement coursing through him.

Because he wasn't going there. Because he couldn't allow himself, not when Darren Howe was the cause.

Aiden took his supplements from the third shelf in the cabinet above the sink. They quenched his agitation by the time he'd dried himself off, and then he went to bed, passing out the moment his head hit the pillow. When he woke up in the morning, he had the vague feeling he'd dreamed of more than Darren Howe's bony knuckles caressing his face, which was why he was grateful he couldn't remember exactly what his dream had entailed. Swinging by the kitchen, he poured himself a cup of coffee before leaving, though the drowsiness didn't let off until he reached his office at Horizons and dialed in for the weekly briefing with Management.

His shift constituted more or less the same along with some final checks on the repairs. He swung by the entertainment unit to make sure everything was in place, then proceeded to his lecture, which was quieter than usual, perhaps because Eddie had come down with a cold and was absent. The peacefulness made Aiden a little antsy, so he was glad the class went by quickly.

When his students started filing out, he steeled his nerves and halted Darren. "Mr. Howe, may I have a moment?"

Darren picked up his textbooks and came up to the wooden desk, his expression schooled in such a way Aiden found it impossible to read the man's emotions. But that was the least of his concerns anyway, what with Darren's proximity making his stomach knot and his skin prickle. It was borderline unbearable, the betrayal of his body, but he reined it in as best as he could, managed to stifle it down, reminding himself he wouldn't have to deal with it for much longer.

"Come to my office at seven tonight. There is paperwork I need you to prepare."

Darren arched an eyebrow, his lips trembling from a smile he held back. "More paperwork again? I thought we finished with the invoices and stock checks."

Aiden locked his tablet and held it to his chest. "It's for the inspection of the renovated areas."

"Wait, they're done with the repairs? Already?"

"I did promise it would be before the end of the month, didn't I?" Aiden said, trying to keep the frustration out of his voice and expression so they wouldn't betray the turmoil inside him.

Darren shook his head, a little huff of amusement escaping him. "That you did."

"Work will be wrapped up tomorrow actually, but I'm not letting anyone down there until the checks are done."

"Not even me? I'd be more than happy to do some quality checks," Darren said sultrily. But despite the flirtatious nature of his tone, there was something guarded in it.

Aiden summoned a small smile and held Darren's gaze for a few heartbeats, cutting off eye contact just as those captivating pools of indigo threatened to derail him again. "Seven sharp, Mr. Howe. Don't be late."