Chapter 90

I melt into the mattress, sweat coating every inch of me as I try to catch my breath. Beside me, Jace does the same, his hand over his heart as his chest rises and falls.

Through hours of practice in my backyard and grueling back-to-back games of non-stop action, I've never seen Jace so exhausted before.

Then again, Jace has never fucked me before. Sure, we've had sex. That one time that meant everything, but he was gentle with me then. Careful of my emotions. And that's how it started. He made sure to take care of me once, before something switched in him, and he wasn't kidding—he did do things to me. Incredible things, in many different positions. It's almost as if he wanted to get out all the ways he'd fantasized in one epic session, and boy, did he deliver.

"I can't feel my legs," I murmur, rolling over to face him.

He grins, shifting his gaze from the ceiling to me. "Sorry."

"Don't be."

"I had to make up for lost time," he explains through heavy breaths. "That, and our time is limited now, so…"

"No complaints. Trust me."

He flips to his side, lifting slightly to look down at me. "I love you." He kisses me once before something behind me grabs his attention. Then he chuckles, a deep rumble of a sound I wish I could bottle and keep forever. "Look at Penelope."

Eyes wide, I turn to the travel tank sitting on the nightstand. Penelope's nose is pressed hard against the plastic, her eyes wide. "Oh no," I gasp, ending on a laugh so strong it's silent.

"She just watched me rail you into oblivion." Jace laughs too, his shoulders shaking with the force, and I bury my head into his chest to muffle my guffaw.

"Poor girl's going to need therapy," I laugh out.

"What have we done?"

We laugh together, the sound so freeing, so pure, so clear of the pain we've endured both together and apart. Once we settle, Jace kisses me quickly, then gets his naked ass out of the bed and goes to his bathroom.

I slip my underwear back on and put on the shirt he'd been wearing before lying back down. Then I stare up at the ceiling and do my best to soak in the moment for exactly what it is, but… there are things left up in the air. Things we need to discuss.

Jace is still naked when he returns, a glorious god of a man, and he kicks all the bags of whatever he'd bought out of the way to find his boxer shorts. When he does, he slides them back on, then crawls in beside me, offering me his arm, and I submit to his wants, because I want them too.

"So," he says, adjusting to get more comfortable. "I think you should move in with me now, and we have the summer together. I'll come back as much as I can when school starts, and?—"

"Jace," I cut in, leaning up on my elbow so I can look him in the eyes. I want him to know I'm serious and not to take what I say next lightly. If my past actions have taught me anything, it's that I need to communicate my feelings well before they have a chance to ruin me.

"What's up?" he asks, shifting my hair behind my ear.

"I need you to make me a promise."

"And what's that?"

I swallow my pride, push aside all other thoughts. All other emotions. "If you go off to college and you find another girl?—"

"Harlow," he sighs, his head digging deeper into the pillow as his hold on me weakens.

"No, listen," I plead. "You don't know what's out there waiting for you, Jace. You've never been around so many people before, so many girls?—"

"Harlow, stop."

I ignore him and continue, "I need you to promise that if you feel the slightest bit of attraction for someone else or if there's ever a part of you that thinks, even for a moment, what if, then you end it with me."

Jace shakes his head, his jaw set, eyes refusing to meet mine.

I add, "And promise to understand that our relationship and me caring for your grandpa aren't mutually exclusive. I'm going to be here until he no longer needs me."

"Harlow…" he whispers.

"Promise me, Jace."

His eyes finally move to mine, then he sighs. "Easiest promise I've ever made."

"Good." I kiss him once on the lips. Then on his cheeks. Then his jaw. His neck. "So many smoochie woochies," I coo, then attack his entire face with kisses.

Jace chuckles, hands on my shoulders, gently pushing me away. "That's exactly what I'm going to do to your pussy later."

"Jace!"

He laughs, dragging me back down into his arms. I settle with my head on his chest, and for a long moment, we sit in silence while he strokes my hair. I listen to his heart working beneath my cheek, and tap a single finger on his chest with every beat.

Tap tap, tap tap.

"So, I told Grandpa about Texas Tech this morning."

"Was he excited for you?"

"He had no idea what I was talking about."

I lift my eyes to his and pout. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I went there for another reason anyway, and that heunderstood."

"Oh, yeah?"

I'm forced to sit up when Jace shifts to open the drawer of his nightstand and reach inside. "It's not an engagement ring," he says before I even see the pale blue box in his hand. "That'll come later. But it's… something."

He lies back down, and I remain upright, my breath caught in my chest, because what? He opens the box, revealing a thin silver band with a single square diamond. "It was my grandmother's," he explains, taking the ring out of the box. "My grandpa told me where to find it. He said I could give it to you."

"Jace… I can't?—"

"Like I said, I'm not asking you for marriage," he cuts in. "At least, not right now. I'm just asking for more."

I can barely see his face through my tears, can barely breathe through the rush of blood pumping through my veins.

"I guess I want the ring to be a symbol of my commitment to you, and you to me. We don't give up on each other. That means if we argue, we talk it out. And if that argument turns into something worse, then we work it out. Together."

"Jace…" I wipe my eyes, not knowing what to say.

He slides the ring on my finger. "It's a promise, Harlow."

"A commitment," I agree, my breaths tumbling out of me in waves. I look up from my shaky hand and into the eyes of a boy who's held me through my grief, through my heartache. A boy who gripped my hand tight as he led me through the darkness, in search of light, never once realizing that to me, he was the light all along. I lower my gaze again—focusing on the two contrasting rings on my hand. One thin and delicate, the other bold and beautiful, and I sniff back the unexpected wave of emotions as I slide my brother's ring off my thumb, then hold Jace's hand in mine.

"Harlow…"

I slip the ring on his finger while he sits up, his hand immediately finding my jaw, forcing my eyes up to his.

He's silent a beat, his gaze shifting from me to his hand, again and again. "Isn't this your brother's?"

Holding my breath to stop the sob escaping, I nod once, keep my tear-filled eyes on his. "That's how much this promise means to me, Jace. How much you mean to me."