Chapter 79

It didn't take long for the whispers to start, then the sideways glances that quickly turned to all-out stares. It doesn't affect me the way it used to. Besides, there's only one pair of eyes I care about, and I can feel them on me from across the cafeteria. I'd been too afraid to look up, choosing instead to focus on the untouched tray of food in front of me. My friends are talking to each other. I can hear their voices, but they seem so far away, so distant. I try to fight off the urge to look over at Jace, but the more time that passes, the weaker I get. Finally succumbing to my heart's desire, I ready myself, building a wall around my beating organ, and lift my gaze.

I was right.

I'd felt it in my soul.

Jace is watching me.

There's a depth in his stare, a sadness that tugs at my heart, forces air from my lungs. For seconds, we stay that way, our eyes locked, our hearts beating as one. It feels like we're the only two people in the room. The only two people who understand each other's pain. Or… at least, we used to.

Before the chaos and corruption and realities of life swept us off our already unsteady feet and dragged us under—wave after wave, crashing into us, tearing us down… tearing us apart and away from each other…

Tears well in my eyes, blurring my vision, but not enough that I don't see his lips move, mouthing two words that force my heart to beat in a steady rhythm again. "I'm sorry."

I smile, encompassed by nothing but sadness, and mouth back, hoping he'll understand, "Me too."

There's a part of me that wishes I could elaborate, but I don't think I need to.

He's sorry, and so am I.

And everything else is insignificant.

"Are you working too, Harlow?" Sammy asks, and I blink out of my daze and turn to my friends.

They're both watching me, expecting me to say something. "I'm sorry, what?"

Sammy jerks her head to the seat beside me, and it's only now I realize Jonah has joined us. He smiles, that same goofy, lovable smile that had us becoming fast friends. I lean into him, a small gesture to show that I love him, and I miss him, and I appreciate him for far more than he could possibly know. "Jonah was just saying he's DJing a line dancing night at your work on Saturday," Sammy tells me. "Are you working too?"

I shake my head. "No." Then I drop my gaze to my tray of food again. I'm reminded of my first day here, of how Jeannie and Sammy welcomed me with open arms. Before me, it had always been just the two of them. They didn't ask about my past when it was all everyone could talk about. They protected my name, even when I wasn't in the room. "But you guys should come," I say, holding my head high. My chest fills with warmth as I watch the genuine smiles take over their faces. "It's a family thing, so there's no drinking or anything, but we could all go together. It might be fun?"

"Yeah?" Jeannie asks, her excitement clear.

"We can make a whole thing out of it. You guys can come over early on Saturday, and we can get ready together, dress up, do each other's makeup."

"I love it," Sammy says, clasping her hands over her heart.

"And my dad's not home, so you can stay over."

"Like a slumber party?" Jeannie coos.

"Question," Jonah interrupts, and I'm sure we can all predict what comes next. "May I please join you?"

"No boys allowed," Sammy answers for all of us.

I turn to my friend, holding his arm to my chest. "Sorry, Jonah."

"Let's do it," Jeannie says, her smile so wide it causes my own.

Sammy claps quietly, her grin matching her cousins. "I'm so excited!"

"Me too," I tell them, and I really, truly mean it.