Chapter Seven

NOAH

I read somewhere that the West Coast beaches have frigid water compared to the East Coast due to the California current. Never in my life have I shivered as much as I am right now. It’s spring, so granted, it isn’t exactly beach weather, but this is fucking ridiculous. I won’t allow my teeth to chatter, curbing the need by biting down and keeping my legs moving in the water. My skin is prickling, hurting so bad that I’m pretty sure I’m on the verge of experiencing hypothermia.

It’s dark out. Only the lights from the horizon of houses sitting on mountains along with the oceanfront properties and restaurants illuminate the area. This stretch of beach is quiet, and the only sounds are the waves and Kate splashing around me.

“Cold?” she asks, giggling before dunking her head back in the water.

“Uh… you could say that.” I try to remain unaffected, but I swear my balls have fallen off and swam to shore seeking refuge under a warm beach blanket.

“I’m from England, so this is tropically fantastic.”

“Compared to the English Channel?” I tease, moving my arms in a circular motion to remain warm.

“I love my country, but our beaches suck.”

“Interesting, you don’t seem too fond of California.”

“Not California, American men,” she comments with an air of arrogance.

I swim closer to her, and with the feeling coming back to my frozen limbs, I place my hand on her hip, drawing her in and whisper, “I’m an American man, but trust me, baby, you’ll have fun.”

I move my mouth closer to hers and gently brush her bottom lip with the tip of my tongue.

She breaks away and circles me like a hungry shark, full of laughter and flirtatious gestures. She doesn’t seem so sad now, but maybe the tequila has something to do with that.

“I need to confess something.” She giggles with a hiccup. “This is the first time I’ve skinny-dipped.”

“Well, technically, Kate, you’re not skinny dipping unless you’re completely naked.”

She stops swimming and moves toward me. Stretching her arm around her back, she unclasps her bra, removing it in one go. Her tits float, making my dick slightly hard, her pink nipples teasing me through the moonlight.

“Happy now? Mr. American?” she teases softly.

I shake my head, prompting her to strip down completely. I’ve never had sex in the ocean—a first time for everything. Using a condom seems highly unlikely at this time, given that it’s sitting in my wallet on the shore. And then I start to think about all the ocean life floating around us and try to ignore whatever the fuck just brushed against my leg.

Please let it be seaweed.

Kate leans forward, her arms moving around in the water until she raises one arm proudly holding a pair of panties. “How about now?”

This time, I move closer to her, and with our mouths barely apart, I move forward to kiss her lips while my hands shift freely around her ass. In my intoxicated state, every problem weighing on my mind begins to drift further away with the current. Her body against mine is the only thing I’m thinking about.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” she says, tracing the top of my boxers and pulling on them as best as she can. I shake my leg, motioning for them to fall off.

Goodbye boxers. Fuck, they were my expensive ones too.

“You should take this as a time to be quiet and let me have some fun.”

My lips move to her ear, grazing the side of her lobe while my fingers trace her hips and move closer to the front, allowing me to slide my hand between her thighs. She lets out a small yelp while tilting her head back. A warm sensation runs through my body, relaxing my sore muscles from the nasty cold.

“You’re gorgeous. You know that?” I whisper.

Arching her back, she wraps her arms around my neck for support, pushing herself against me. “I shouldn’t fuck you…” she murmurs with a guilty plea.

“Give me one good reason why not,” I demand, edging closer to her clit.

For once, she chooses not to talk and instead leads our bodies closer to the shoreline until we’re standing on two feet. With her body naked in front of me, her erect nipples tease me relentlessly until I have no choice but to fuck her. Right here. Right now.

She’s fucking sexy even in the darkness of night. Her body, not too skinny, tall in stature, has all the curves in the right places. I’ve been with plenty of gorgeous women, but perhaps Kate being somewhat off-limits makes her stand out even more.

“Not here,” she says. “Let’s get out of the water.”

Pulling my hand along, I follow her to where our clothes lie as she grabs me and pushes me to the sand.

Okay. Fuck. It’s cold.

She stands above me, giving me the perfect angle to admire her beautifully manicured pussy with a landing strip smack bam in the middle.

“Do you want to fuck me, Noah?”

“When your pussy is staring at me like a wild beast, how could I not want to fuck you?”

“Then, I ask one thing of you.” Her tone, sharp and fierce, is unlike the giggly Kate, who was floating around the water only moments ago.

“What’s that?”

Her chest is heaving, wild eyes staring at me, ready to pounce. “I’m going to fuck you. Do you understand? And I don’t fuck quietly.”

Is this happening?

Without drawing any attention, the corners of my eyes scan the area around us, sure I’m being pranked on some reality television show. When I can see we’re alone—aside from two people in the far distance—I nod my head, excited by the thought.

But as much as the thought turns me on, Big Dick refuses to follow. Oh, for the love of God! The more I think about it, the more it makes me paranoid, and he refuses to come to the party. Fuck! Surely, she can sense how limp it is lying beneath her. Maybe if I fondle her tits, I can make it happen. My hands move to her tits, groping them hard as she moans oddly. Perhaps this is her sex face. It’s odd as she looks pale white then appears to cringe in pain. Good Lord, this isn’t the face of a woman I want to fuck right now. She immediately jumps off me and stares down at me.

“Oh my God!” she yells at the top of her lungs.

Holy shit! Is it crab season, I think. Fuck I don’t know. There’s a crab on my dick, I just know it. Sealife, it’s everywhere. I begin to panic, wincing as I wait for the crab to bite my dick off.

I’m going to have no dick.

I’m going to be dickless!

“Get it off me,” I shout back at her.

“With what?” she answers in a surprisingly calm tone.

“I don’t know!” I argue. “Your shoe or purse?”

“My purse cost a thousand dollars. You want me to wipe it off with Michael Kors?”

“Michael who?” I panic, not comprehending her ridiculous dilemma. “Just get it off me!”

“It’s just blood,” she says calmly, watching me with judging eyes.

“I’m bleeding? The crab bit me?” My eyes dart down in a state of panic. “Is my dick still there?”

Kate’s shoulders begin to move up and down, her laughter echoing against the sound of the waves crashing. Her continuous laugh begins to anger me. What kind of a sick joke is this?

“I got my period,” she stumbles out in between her laughter. “The blood is from my vagina, not a crab. Your dick’s fine.”

It takes a moment for it to click. Her period? Oh my God. This is embarrassing.

“Holy shit.” I fall back onto the sand, covering my face with my hands until I burst out laughing along with her. She drops beside me, both of us naked in a fit of hysterics, unable to catch a breath of air.

“I thought it was a crab.” I laugh through my words.

“I thought I was pregnant,” she admits, chuckling as if it’s a joke.

I stop laughing, catching my breath as her words sink in. “You thought you were pregnant? Baby, I’m good, but not that good.”

She punches my arm softly and picks up the empty bottle of tequila, throwing it behind us, only to remove another bottle of something from her bag.

“If you thought you were pregnant, why did you drink tequila?” I question her more seriously. I’m not one to judge, but alcohol and pregnancy don’t exactly mix.

“Because I didn’t want to be. Because I’m an idiot. Because of many things I just don’t want to feel right now,” she says in one breath.

I place my arm around her shoulder and bring her closer to me. “We’re so fucked up. Look at us. We’re naked and—” A tingling sensation runs up my thigh. “Was that you? There have to be crabs somewhere. Oh fuck, and scorpions.”

Kate ignores my panic attack, staring back at the moon with doleful eyes, her lips trembling slightly.

“Who do you think is more fucked up?” she wonders out loud. “Me or you?”

“Me… no, wait. Maybe you.”

We continue to lie there, quietly drinking the bottle of vodka which Kate pulled out of her bag, pretending the world around us doesn’t exist. At some point during a rendition of “Lean on Me,” I stop singing for a moment with a clearer head, despite the alcohol running through my veins.

“Then let’s call this a successful night. You’re not pregnant, and my dick is still intact.”

“Intact, yes.” She laughs, following with an obnoxious snort. “Just… afraid to come to the party.”

It’s impossible to hide my embarrassment. I’m not one to be red-faced, but I can feel my cheeks burning despite the cold air. All I can do at a time like this is laugh at myself. “Do you know how fucking freezing that water is?”

“So, that was just all to impress me? Mr. Tough Guy, who can handle the shriveling cold water?” She chuckles loudly.

“Shriveling is an understatement. I take it back… this night is awful. It couldn’t get any worse.”

And right when I say the words, a torch flashes over our eyes.

“You’re under arrest for indecent exposure in a public area.”

Oh fuck.