Chapter Three

NOAH

Present

My fingers trace the rim of the glass, slowly gliding against the smooth edge and eyeing the amber liquid with a desperate thirst. Around me, there’s nothing but silence and darkness, which has fallen over my apartment.

Outside the large windows, the views of the Charles River are unsurpassed with the city lights surrounding it. Boston had been my home for most of my adult life, and after graduating from college, we boys made a pact never to leave.

The three of us grew up in a smaller town just outside the city—a place where we made memories and were equally glad to leave them behind. We earned a reputation, which, at the time, we somewhat reveled in. But our immaturity and careless behavior could only last so long before it landed us in serious trouble.

We were thrilled to get accepted at Boston University despite our parents worrying about the mischief, or shall I say, frat parties we’d find ourselves at. They had every right to worry—our college years were the best years of our lives.

But like everything in life, we evolve, and life moves forward. I became career-focused, saving every dollar I could to buy my first condo just out of college. From there, I grew my investment portfolio, making a comfortable nest egg for myself.  If truth be told, I was the most driven of the three. Tom was happy with his studio bachelor pad because it had a view of some yoga studio, which according to him, free porn every morning at seven o’clock.

Benny lives just outside the city, working alongside his dad, managing a chain of sports stores across Massachusetts. He travels around, is the biggest sports fanatic, and never misses a game at Fenway Park.

Yet life hasn’t been the same since that night with Rose. Benny knew straight away I’d fucked her. Running toward me at the bar, his fist connected with my jaw in a matter of seconds. I wanted so desperately to punch the fucker back, but I knew all too well it was my fault. I messed with the wrong girl. The girl my best friend is in love with.

How the fuck was I supposed to know that?

Only after it unraveled did it all make sense how he’d been distant from Tom and me, always making up excuses as to why he couldn’t hang out with us. I just didn’t understand why he went to those lengths to hide his relationship from us. Had he been honest from the start, then maybe, just maybe, this wouldn’t have happened.

But deep down inside, I knew how much shit we both would’ve given him had he told us he was in love.

We don’t do love. Not us boys.

In college, we made a pact—play hard, fuck hard. All around us, friends were dropping like flies, marrying their high school sweethearts and having babies. We were the last three standing and having the time of our lives backpacking through Europe and Asia after college, frequenting Cancun any weekend we had free. Next year, we were supposed to do Australia.

But now, neither one of them will talk to me.

Benny told me that fateful night he no longer considered me a brother, storming out of the bar without Rose by his side. He ignored my calls, and even Tom was quick to take his side. No matter what I tried, or the copious amounts of apologies I’d offer, neither one of them wanted anything to do with me. They had blocked me on all social media and even convinced the basketball team we played on during the weekends to drop me.

The unintentional drama which followed only made the entire situation worse.

Amongst our circle of friends, and in the community of our home town, news had spread like wildfire, much like the game ‘telephone.’ By the time it reached my mom, I had apparently fucked Benny’s girlfriend, knocked her up, and was threatening to leave if she didn’t get rid of it.

I had a lot to answer for. I don’t deny that fact.

My mom and I always had a close relationship, being her only child and with no dad around. So, I was quick to tell her my side of the story. Nothing worse than your mom getting all up in your business.

I hated the fact I’d let her down. She treated Benny and Tom like sons, despite their inappropriate sexual references. She knew how tight of a bond we had and was quick to point out how easily I allowed my dick to act before my brain.

My hands wrap around the glass, raising it to my lips, and consuming the bourbon in one go. It no longer burns or clouds my vision. The only feeling ravaging me is anger. So, I fucked up. Yet Tom and Benny threw our friendship away like I wasn’t fucking human.

With the fire of the bourbon running through my veins, the reality of my life became crystal clear. I was bored with my job, bored of this place, and tired of the same old Boston. The only thing which kept me here was my mom, but even she had her own life.

I need a fucking change.

Start new where I can reinvent and rid myself of this life I had relied on, the people I had relied on.

I pull my cell out of my pants pocket, scrolling through my phone until I come across my cousin Charlie’s number. Pressing dial, I wait patiently for the call to connect.

“Um, excuse me, sir,” Charlie greets, flatly. “Do you have the wrong number?”

A laugh escapes me. The sound of her voice is a welcoming change from my draining thoughts.

“I know, I know, I’ve neglected my cousin duties.”

“Neglected would be an understatement,” she informs me, her tone softening and more relaxed. “I’m surprised you’re even alive. It’s been like what… close to two years since I last spoke to you?”

“I comment on your posts.”

“That doesn’t count.”

“I’m sorry, okay?” I offer my apology, sincerely. “Life has been…”

“Busy?” she answers, letting out a sigh. “For me, too. Okay, so before I grill you for not meeting your nieces yet, how have you been?”

I pause, trying to piece a reasonable answer together before she interrogates me even further. Charlie and I were close as kids whenever we spent our summers together. My mom and her dad shared the same biological father. According to my mom, she was the result of an affair my grandmother had with Charlie’s grandfather while he was married. My own grandmother claimed it was a mid-life crisis affair on her behalf, but I’ve only met her a small handful of times since she remarried and moved to Washington state.

While Mom tried her best to stay in contact with her brother, Mark, it was actually Charlie’s mother who became close to her, which is why we spent time with each other growing up.

I’d always thought of Charlie as a big sister rather than a cousin. We made so many great memories, but much like other families, time slipped away, and we both grew up so quickly.

“I’m thinking of coming out to LA,” I mention, casually.

“Sounds great,” she rushes with excitement. “When? You’ll probably need at least a week to see everything—”

“No… I mean for good.”

It has been on my mind nonstop for the last month. All I need to do to make it official is hand in my resignation. That, and lease out my condo.

“Is everything okay?”

“Yes.” I pause again, letting out a sigh. “I just need a change of pace.”

“But what about your job?”

“There are other jobs.”

“Noah, c’mon, it’s me,” she reminds me. Although we don’t speak as often as we probably should, when we do, it’s as if time never passed. Charlie knows me too well. “This isn’t like you. You love Boston, plus your mom is there and your best friends. I know those boys are like brothers to you.”

“People change,” I counter, dismissing the mention of Benny and Tom. “It’s time to start somewhere new. So, any chance I can crash with you until I get myself sorted?”

I realized over time, I’d burrowed myself into a comfort zone here in Boston. Moving to California seems like a great idea, but I don’t want to rent or buy a place just yet if I can’t see myself staying for long.

“Listen, I’ll have to clear it with Lex, but since he knocked me up again, I’ll say yes for both of us,” she grunts, seemingly unhappy with her predicament.

“Oh, shit.” I laugh, curling my fist and bringing it to my mouth. “Congrats are in order, but hey, listen, two weeks at most. I just need to make sure it’s right.”

“Please don’t congratulate me, I want to throw up,” she complains with a groan. “So, when are you thinking of coming?”

“I need to give notice, settle things here so probably in a month or two?”

“We’ll be waiting.” I can hear the smile in her voice. “Built-in babysitter.”

My laughter lingers. “I’m not great with kids. But happy to have Lex show me around town.”

“You behave, okay?” she warns me. “Single men like you spell only one word.”

“What are you talking about?” I tease, pouring myself more bourbon as we speak and walking toward my laptop. “Didn’t you see my profile photo with the halo hovering over my head?”

Charlie snickers. “Listen, in terms of a job, a friend of ours runs a publishing house. Lex is a stakeholder, and I know they’re looking to expand their marketing division. I’ll get Lex to call you later, okay?”

“Sounds like a plan,” I respond with a smile. “And Charlie… thank you.”

“You’re family, Noah. You don’t ever need to thank me.”

We say our goodbyes, and the moment the call ends, I think about Charlie’s parting words. I’d always thought of Benny and Tom as family, but the last few months have proven how very wrong I was.

Moving to California is exactly the fresh start I need.

With my laptop switched on, I open a Word document and begin typing up my resignation letter. I’d been working steadily at this company for the last four years. Worked my way up from Marketing Analyst to Marketing Director. E-commerce is my strength, and I know leaving this comfortable position will be a risk.

But the biggest risk in life is not taking a risk.

Rereading my words and downing the remnants of my bourbon for extra encouragement, I attach the document to an email. Typing very few words, though with a heartful thanks for all the opportunities, my mouse hovers over the top of my inbox until I finally hit send.

It’s time to move on.