Chapter 50

fifty

LIAM

I sat on the sofa beside Paul. "Amy fell asleep halfway through the story. She must be exhausted."

"It was a big day. She loved playing in the snow."

"She'll miss the wide-open spaces when you go back to Milwaukee." I watched Paul carefully. Amy wasn't the only person who was tired. After spending most of the day with Alex and Dylan, Paul had fallen asleep on the way home. "How are you feeling?"

Paul shrugged. "Okay, I guess. It's still hard to believe that I have a brother."

"Your biological mother did the right thing. Allowing another family to adopt you meant you were safe."

"I wonder if it would have been easier for Alex if I'd stayed."

I wasn't sure anything would have made a difference. "Your biological father was a mean drunk. Having another child in the house could have made everything a lot worse."

"Maybe." Paul squeezed my hand. "I want to talk to you about something else. I've decided to stay in Sunrise Bay. "

My eyes widened. "For how long?"

"At least a year, but probably longer. Jonathon asked if I want to share his kitchen. At first, I wasn't sure it would work, but the more I thought about it, the more I liked the idea."

To say I was shocked was an understatement. "I thought you wanted to return to Milwaukee as soon as possible? You've been worried about your customers using other cake decorators."

"Sunrise Bay is one of the fastest growing towns in this part of Colorado. Lots of people are moving here after they've retired. Young families are arriving to work in tourism-related industries. But the best thing is that the nearest bakers are about an hour away in Boulder."

"But the population of Milwaukee is huge compared to Sunrise Bay."

Paul let go of my hand. "I can only bake and decorate a small number of cakes each week. Jonathon's customers loved my Christmas cakes. If I can encourage other people to place orders, I'll have more than enough customers. I thought you'd be happy for me."

"I am, but I assumed you'd move back to Milwaukee. What about a school for Amy?"

"There's an elementary school in town. Amy and I are talking to the principal next week. I'd be able to spend more time with my brother, and Amy will be happy."

"And you decided all of this while we were visiting Alex?"

"I've been thinking about it for a couple of weeks. At least Sunrise Bay is closer to Boulder than Milwaukee. We could see each other after work and on the weekends."

I swallowed my disappointment, feeling a hollow ache form in my chest. I wanted to live with Paul, but I was worried I was expecting too much, too soon. "Boulder is only an hour from Sunrise Bay. We could live together and I could commute into work."

Paul shook his head. "It's too soon."

"If you don't want to live together I could rent a place in Sunrise Bay. We could…" I didn't have to finish what I was saying to see what Paul thought of the idea. My heart sank and a wave of frustration washed over me. "Why don't you want us to live in the same town?"

Paul rubbed his hands along his jeans, the movement betraying his anxiety. "Since my sister and parents died, every decision I've made has been focused on what's best for Amy. I want to do something for myself."

"And living an hour away from me is what's best for you?"

"I want to stand on my own two feet. And I need to know you're going to be part of our lives for longer than a few months. Amy's already lost her mom. She doesn't need to lose you, too."

"I'm not your former fiancé."

Paul's eyes widened. "How did you know about… It was in the report you read about me, wasn't it?"

I nodded. "I don't know why he left, but I guess it had something to do with your sister and parent's deaths."

"He didn't want a ready-made family."

"And you think I'll leave like he did?"

Paul rubbed his forehead. "I don't know what will happen. Why are you so annoyed?"

"I'm not annoyed. You're confusing what another man did with what we could be together. I care about Amy and I love you. Do you want to be in a relationship with me? "

Paul opened his mouth, but no words came out. The silence between us felt like a chasm, widening with every passing second.

If I'd thought I was disappointed before, it was nothing compared to the heartache I felt now. "It's okay. You don't have to say anything."

"I want to get to know you better. But Amy?—"

"Amy will be happy regardless of what happens between us." I took a deep breath, the weight of the situation pressing down on me. "Now that the terrorists aren't a threat to you, my job here is done. I start work in Boulder on Monday."

"This coming Monday? But Christmas is in two days. I thought you'd spend some time with us."

I looked down at my hands, struggling to keep my composure. "I'm leaving in the morning. Dad's flying into Boulder in the afternoon. We'll have a couple of days together before he goes home."

"But Alex invited us to spend Christmas Day with him. Your dad could join us."

I needed to leave Sunrise Bay and the sooner that happened, the easier it would be on everyone. "I'd prefer to have Christmas in Boulder."

I saw the disappointment in Paul's eyes, felt it like a physical blow. "I need to be honest with you. If you don't want us to live in the same town, I can't see the point in being anything other than friends."

"Couples live apart all the time," Paul argued. "We can make it work."

"It's not the type of relationship I want. I'll say goodbye to Amy in the morning." My heart pounded as I looked into Paul's tear-filled eyes, my own vision blurring. "Jacob isn't back until the end of January. If you'd like to stay here for a few more weeks, you're more than welcome."

Paul wiped his eyes, a single tear escaping down his cheek. "I'll let you know when we're moving into town."

"I hope everything works out for you. I'll see you in the morning." And before I changed my mind, I left the room, feeling my heart break with every step I took.