Chapter 20

twenty

LIAM

Later that day, I stared across the snow-covered backyard. I didn't want to drive anywhere, but Paul's X-ray appointment was in an hour. If it were any other time of the year, it wouldn't be a problem. But in this weather, it could take a long time to get to Boulder.

Someone ran into the living room. A little someone wearing pink sneakers and a white fluffy hat.

"Are you ready to leave?" I asked.

Amy picked up Dolly, clutching her close to her chest. "I'm ready."

After we'd made sure the mouse was happy, Amy had spent the next couple of hours drawing pictures of him. For a five-year-old, she had an incredible imagination.

"Remember to go to the bathroom," Paul yelled from the kitchen.

I smiled at Amy. "Do you think Paul's talking to you or me?"

"Me." Amy sighed. "He always says that."

"Sometimes your uncle forgets how grown up you are."

"I'll be six soon. "

"I know," I whispered. "What do you want for your birthday?"

"I was going to have a party with my friends, but I can't do that now."

I sat down. "You could still have a party."

"It wouldn't be the same."

"Dolly and all your toy friends could come."

Amy leaned against the arm of the sofa. She looked as though she was thinking about what I'd said, weighing up what I was suggesting with what she'd lost. In that moment, she looked so much like Lacey that it was hard for me to breathe.

"Can we have chocolate cake and balloons?"

I nodded. "We could buy some party hats and streamers, too."

"Would it be okay if we played Christmas music?"

We'd been listening to carols all morning. Christmas, I'd discovered, was her favorite time of the year.

"Sure. We'll look on the Internet tonight and choose some more music."

Amy grinned, and my whole world spun on its axis.

"I like you, Liam."

"I like you, too." And before she saw the tears filling my eyes, I stood and zipped up my jacket. "We'd better find Paul or we'll be late for his hospital appointment."

Amy's small hand slipped into mine. "Can we have a milkshake after we've been to the hospital?"

"We'll have to check with your uncle, but that sounds like a good idea."

Paul stepped into the living room. "Are you ready?"

I smiled when I saw his red and green Christmas hat. If you discounted the rainbow of bruising across his face, he could have been one of Santa's elves .

"You're wearing the hat we bought," Amy said excitedly. "You look cute."

Paul tried to smile, but it looked more like a grimace. "It was the Christmas carols. They inspired me."

He wasn't the only person who was feeling inspired. I'd spent most of my life pretending to be what other people wanted to see. Now, as terrifying as it was, it was time to be myself. And I knew two people who could help me.