Chapter 22

Chapter Twenty-Two

Ashley

N ate kept his mouth shut when they saw him later. Ashley was convinced the man didn’t sleep at all, as he seemed to always be around even though she knew he stayed up all night.

She was grinning like a fool and didn’t even try to stop. Christian only shook his head when he saw them.

Carter walked her to her room and then disappeared. What they’d done today had been foolish, but she didn’t regret it. She needed to get on birth control or something soon because after having him without a condom, she didn’t want it any other way.

That had been her first time ever being bare with a man and damn. She showered and got dressed but swore she could still feel Carter against her.

“Have you seen Carter?” she asked Christian later.

“Not since you two got back.”

“Oh.” She wondered where he’d gotten off to since he hadn’t stayed around.

“He’s around here somewhere, maybe at the barn.”

“I’ll just wait for him to get back.” He’d told her not to go down there without him, and she didn’t want to start this new thing with him off on the wrong foot.

“Want me to text him?” Christian asked.

“No. It’s not a big deal.” She hoped she sounded like it wasn’t a big deal, too.

She was nervous as hell. What if today made him want her less? Not the sex, she had no doubt he’d enjoyed that as much as her, but because of that. Like when she was something he couldn’t have, he wanted her more?

She needed to stop. This was no way to go on and she meant to begin new things with him. Doubting him because she hadn’t seen him was ridiculous.

That was a mantra she had to keep repeating to herself as doubt tried to creep in.

“You making dinner tonight?” Christian asked, reminding her he was still there.

“I might. I need to see what we have.”

“Groceries are going to be ordered soon.” Christian shrugged. “I’ll talk with the guys and one of us or one of the hands can run into town and get things. I heard that there’s a package heading to you, by the way.”

“A package?” She wondered if it was the clothes Carter had mentioned.

“Yeah. There’s some clothes and a yoga mat that Carter ordered, but Catherine is sending you some things as well.”

She smiled even though she had no idea what Catherine would send her. “Do you know when?”

Christian laughed. “Today or tomorrow, I would think. I’m not positive, but I feel like as remote as we are out here, things might take a bit longer.”

Ashley nodded. “Makes sense. It’s okay though. I’ve been doing fine with what I have.”

“Still, would be nice to have a care package. I get it. I’ve been deployed before, and it’s not the same, but it was like Christmas when packages came. I know you’re not doing without, but having something extra is welcome.”

He got it. “Exactly. And it will be like Christmas because I have no idea what Catherine would send me.” She turned away from Christian, toward the kitchen. “I’m going to go see what I can throw together for tonight.”

“If you change your mind or don’t want to cook, just let me know. It won’t be as good as yours, but I can cook a few things.”

“I’ll be sure to do that,” she called out behind her.

In the kitchen, she found a few options for dinner and settled on spaghetti because it was simple enough and would feed them all. If she was lucky, there’d be leftovers for lunch tomorrow.

That decided, she pulled out a piece of chicken and warmed it up for her own lunch. All she’d eaten today had been the muffin she’d taken from Carter.

Alone in the kitchen, she took a look at the space surrounding her. She was going to be sad to let it all go when it was time. Carter would ask her back sometimes, right? He wasn’t going to leave here. Why would he?

She’d do everything she could to help him keep his job, though she doubted it would be a problem. Carter was good and had put up with a lot from her while sticking with it. Ryker couldn’t fault his skills.

The hard sell would be Luke, but that wasn’t because of Carter. It was because she was the kid sister. He’d had a problem with anyone she’d dated, going back as far as she could remember. Big brother being protective, she supposed.

“Any more of that?” Carter had walked in while she’d been lost in thought.

She nodded. Now that he was here, she didn’t know how to act or what to say around him.

“Nice. I’m starved.” He went to the fridge and pulled out some for himself, putting it on a plate and in the microwave.

“Everything okay?” she asked.

He turned to her and froze. After a second, he walked over to her, cupping her cheeks between his hands and planting a kiss on her lips.

“You would overthink anything, wouldn’t you?” Carter asked as he went to the beeping microwave to get his food.

She gave a small laugh because he was right. “Probably,” she admitted.

“Tell me what’s going on in that busy brain of yours.” He sat next to her and took a bit of his food.

“I was thinking about Luke and how he’s going to react.”

Carter swallowed and looked in her eyes. “It doesn’t matter. I can handle whatever he’s got to say about things between us.”

“I don’t think Ryker will care. You’ve done a good job with me and that shows. He’s got Catherine so he’ll understand.”

“Don’t worry about my job,” he told her. “I can handle it.”

She rolled her eyes. “Don’t push me out. I can help with it.”

He set his fork down and sighed. “Do you want to wait to tell them?”

She hadn’t considered it; she just assumed they would do it now. “Not really. Do you?”

“No. I think we should go ahead and tell them and get it out of the way.” He picked his fork up again. “What else were you thinking about?”

“How much I’m going to miss this place when this is over and if you’ll invite me back.” She rushed it out because she wanted to be honest but didn’t want to tell him at the same time.

Carter’s jaw worked for a minute before he spoke. “I’ll be honest, I hadn’t thought about you leaving yet. I don’t think I want to remind myself that there’s a time limit on you being here just yet.”

She understood that. “You’re right. We should live in the moment.”

“I’m not saying we shouldn’t talk about it, but maybe we deal with one thing at a time. Are you thinking this is over between us when you leave?”

“What? No.” Surprised, she nearly choked on her meal.

He gave one sharp nod. “Then we’re on the same page.”

Finished with his food, he leaned over and kissed her on the forehead. “I’ve got to help Jace with something and will be out most of the afternoon unless they finally get us some new news.” He leaned into her ear and whispered, “I want you in my bed tonight.”

Ashley nodded. She wanted that, too.

“Now, don’t overthink yourself into a corner while I’m gone. I won’t be far.” He put his dishes in the dishwasher and left her there.

They were on the same page; she’d just confirmed it. Now, she needed to convince herself to let that be enough. There was no reason to go creating issues like she’d do often.

She wasn’t going to eat anymore, so she cleaned up her own mess and went to find something to do. The only person in the house with her was Christian, and he was in the formal dining room turned office working and she didn’t want to bother him.

Wandering through the house, she looked in the living room. While she hadn’t been here long, it stood out to her that she hadn’t been in here. There were family photos on one wall, some of Carter and his parents and others of a young Carter or just his parents.

She looked at them for a bit, seeing Carter grow up and transition from a toddler to a teenager. He’d played football based on the framed photo of him in uniform.

Smiling, she went to the cabinets by the TV stand and looked through the movies there. There was a good assortment, and she pulled one to watch. She would have preferred a book to read but since that wasn’t an option, a movie would do.

It took longer than she wanted to admit to figure out the multiple remotes and get the movie playing. She wasn’t normally technically challenged, but this had been a pain.

Christian found her about halfway through the movie and took up residence in one of the armchairs. He didn’t speak, just sat with his laptop and watched the screen.

While she would have preferred Carter to be the one in here, she was happy not to be alone. It didn’t miss her notice that before, in the city, she used her apartment to escape from all the people, but out here she enjoyed the silent company.

Not that they were always silent. Even Nate didn’t bother her here, but she knew without a doubt that if she had run into him in a bar, she’d have hated him instantly. He was a lot, but it was fun here.

She wondered how it would be when she went back. Already dreading it, she knew it would never be the same.