Chapter 19

Chapter Nineteen

Carter

H e’d kissed her again. The last thing he needed to do was kiss her, and he couldn’t stop himself. With her standing there, thinking that she was the problem or that he thought she was a slut or something, he couldn’t stop himself.

At no point did he think she’d sleep around, but with the way he’d acted, he knew why she’d thought it. He stormed off to the barn and never even got a muffin.

Jace caught up with him, stopping him in his tracks. “How are things in the big house?”

“Why do you call it that? I hate it,” he grumped.

“That good, huh? I thought if you were bringing a girl here, you’d think a bit more highly of her.”

He did think highly of her, as Jace had put it. “She’s a great girl.”

“Then why are you out here sulking?”

“Because she drives me nuts. I can’t think straight with her here and shouldn’t have brought her.” But he didn’t actually regret bringing her into his house. The only problem was going to be walking back into that kitchen when she was gone and not seeing her there.

“Why?”

“Why what?”

Jace leaned one hip against the door to an empty stall and crossed his arms. “Why can’t you think straight?”

“Because I want her and I can’t have her.” There, it was out in the world now.

“Why not?”

Jace with all his damn questions. He had too much respect for the man to walk away from him without answering, but he was growing more annoyed.

“She’s the mission. I’m being paid by her family to protect her, and I doubt it will go well for either of us or my job prospects with Guardian Legion if I do any of the things I’m thinking about with her.”

“Have you considered that she might be worth more than the risk?” Jace left that question hanging as he walked off.

Of course he’d considered that. Probably knew the answer was she was worth it, but he didn’t want to complicate things more than he already had. And was he ready to go toe to toe with a bunch of billionaires over it?

“Fuck,” he shouted at the empty barn, spooking the barn cat and sending her running.

Either way, he needed to go back and face her again. Maybe now was a good time for a walk, so they could finally have that conversation they’d put off yesterday.

The walk back to the house was much slower than the one out of it. Sure, he was delaying the inevitable, but he didn’t know how to deal with Ashley and whatever was between them.

If she slapped him the next time he saw her, he’d deserve it. He’d been too rough with that kiss, especially after telling her it wouldn’t happen again. On this walk, they would set ground rules and find a way to deal with each other that didn’t land them in bed.

No matter whether his thoughts were worth the risk or not, he needed to stay professional. He actually wanted this training job that Ryker and Matt had offered, and it was definitely off the table if he ruined this.

Ashley was still in the kitchen when he returned. “What are you doing?” he asked as he walked in.

“Math. Trying to decide how much chicken is enough for all of you tonight.”

“Whatever you decide is fine. You don’t have to cook for us, you know?” He didn’t want her to feel pressured.

“I know. I want to, and I love this kitchen.”

“Well, you want to go for a walk and see some more of the ranch?”

She turned to face him finally. “Are you serious?”

“If you don’t want to, you don’t have to.” Was she angry? She deserved to be if she was.

“Yeah. Let me get some shoes.”

“I’ll wait here. Need me to do anything for dinner?”

“No. I’ll be right back.”

When she returned wearing the same sneakers she’d had during this whole mess, he considered he needed to get her some boots to walk around out here.

“Ready.” She moved past him and out the back door.

Carter chuckled and shook his head. She was eager and didn’t seem angry yet, so he was lucky.

“Where to first?” she asked.

“Walk with me, not a mile in front.” Not only did he want her near for selfish reasons, but he really did need her close to keep her safe.

“Sorry. I’m just excited to be outside and not in a car. Your house is lovely, by the way.”

“I’m glad you like it.” He wondered for a second if she could see herself staying here and then pushed that thought away. It was too soon for that, and it had appeared unbidden in his brain.

“That is the nicest kitchen I’ve ever been in.”

He snorted and motioned for her to head past the barn. “You are literally related to a bunch of billionaires.”

She shrugged. “Doesn’t matter. I love your kitchen. It’s homey but has nice things. I don’t know how to explain it.”

His chest puffed out a little at the compliment and he didn’t push back on it again. “There’s a pond down this path.”

“Oh fun. I wish I had my yoga mat. Maybe you can bring me out here tomorrow and I’ll use a blanket or something?”

“Whatever you want.” The words were out before his brain processed them, and Ashley spun on him.

“I doubt that.”

“Ashley, when we get down there, I think it’s time for our conversation.”

“Agreed.” She started walking again.

The pond wasn’t far, but it did feel good to be out in the fresh air. He understood her need to not be cooped up because he shared it with her.

“This is amazing. I saw these trees from the house, but I never would have guessed there was a pond in here.”

“We get ducks that come and go. It’s really pretty when they’re out here on it.”

“Can you skip rocks?” she asked, bending down and picking one up.

He nodded and grabbed one of his own, pulling his arm back to the side and giving it a flick when he threw it. The rock skipped four times before it went down.

Ashley tried a few times before he stepped in behind her and helped. It took a few more tries, but finally she had a rock skip twice.

She jumped up and down in excitement. “I did it. Did you see?”

Carter laughed. “I saw it.”

Ashley moved to a bench that had been out here forever. His mom would come sit here and crochet and watch the ducks. He hadn’t thought of that in a while and the nostalgia nearly overwhelmed him.

He cleared his throat and started talking to get out of the memory and do what he came here to do. “I’m sorry about this morning.”

“Regret kissing me again? It’s really hard to be someone’s regret, Carter. I don’t know what to do with you.”

“Feelings are mutual,” he agreed. “Look, this is my job, and I’m looking forward to the position that Ryker offered and I don’t want to mess things up here with that or you.”

“Then why are we fighting so much?”

“Like I’m alone in that?”

She stuck her tongue out at him. He really liked playful Ashley.

“What if when this is over, you regret this? It’s a thing that people get this hero worship and then when the danger is gone, they come to their senses.”

“Hero?”

“I’m not trying to talk myself up. I’m saying because I’m in the role as your protector, that after the couple of tussles with Julian, it might be something like that. I’m trying to keep you from having regrets here.”

“So you think if that hadn’t happened, I wouldn’t have wanted you to kiss me?” she asked.

“I don’t know. I’m just trying not to screw everything up.”

She took a deep breath and slowly let it out. “I’m going to confess something to you and then we are going to walk back, got it? I don’t want to talk about it at all, but I want to prove a point here.”

Curious, he tilted his head and studied her. “That’s a lot to ask.”

She shrugged. “That’s the deal.”

“Shoot.” He needed to know what she was going to say more than he wanted to debate why he wasn’t allowed to talk about it.

“Do you remember that day in the cabin where I was showering and you knocked on the door?”

Hell yeah, he did, because she’d answered the door in a fucking towel and he’d nearly died. Carter nodded.

“You scared me.”

“I never meant to scare you. I?—”

She shut him up with a glare. “Because I was in the shower thinking of you and thought maybe you’d heard something.”

With that, she stood and started back up the path.

It took him a full minute to recover the use of his body to catch up to her. She didn’t have to tell him not to talk about it because he was now completely struck silent. There were no words in response to that, and now he had to figure out what to do about it.

The thought of her in the shower touching herself with him on her mind was too much to handle. When they returned to the house, he made sure she was safely inside and left her there with Christian.

That had happened before Julian had found them. It had been before he’d kissed her and had everything gone to shit.

So she wanted him, and he could let go of the hero thing. That meant the only thing in his way was himself and the desire for the job.

Luke had made it clear he wasn’t thrilled with the thought that he was interested in his sister. Ryker hadn’t seemed annoyed by it, which had been interesting, but he wasn’t easy to read. Was it worth finding out if they worked? Was he willing to risk it?