Chapter 15

Since the day he'd learnt of his unfortunate future, Sorrel spent very little time with the rest of the sprites in the burrow.

He'd occupy his time on one of the highest dirt ridges, staring out at the city. Or in the tunnels that seemed to lead to nowhere. He just wanted to be alone as he contemplated his unfortunate life.

When he'd lived with Greta, he'd been lonely to have no one his size, but he'd been happy. His life's purpose had been to bring her joy. He'd adored that.

Now, he was surrounded by hundreds of people, and he was miserable. He wasn't alone, and yet he'd never felt lonelier.

The last day of winter was in less than a week and soon the world would truly start warming. Already the wedding preparations had begun.

Miss Mole was excited, and she often tried to share that with him. He was unable to give her little more than his presence, since he seemed to have lost the ability to feel anything. Sorrel had gone numb.

He kicked his leg over the ledge of the rock cliff he sat upon, contemplating his life. Fuck. I just wanted to go home. I should never have let Cypress take me. Half a fun night with someone who didn't truly care about his wellbeing wasn't worth the last three months he'd suffered.

It wasn't worth all the pain he'd probably caused his poor mother. I was brought into her life to ease her loneliness. Now he was likely the product of her tears.

He looked up at the dirt ceiling and wondered if he'd ever see the sun again. Before he could lower his gaze, someone placed their hand over his mouth and dragged him away from the ledge.

With a gasp, he kicked his legs to get away.

"Shhh," a masculine voice hushed, before releasing him.

Sorrel turned and found himself face to face with a bird sprite wearing fur hides. His brows furrowed when the sprite looked familiar.

"You!" Sorrel shouted, before the swallow sprite covered his mouth with a wince.

"Shit. Shut up," he whispered, looking past him to the ledge and the city beyond it.

"You're the one who tried to save me from Mr Toad." His eyes widened and Sorrel shoved up onto his knees. "You need to leave. The burrowing sprites hate flying creatures."

The swallow's feather brows narrowed. "I know. Which is why I'm wearing a fur cloak to look like them." He eyed the cloak before it tipped to the side to reveal a wing that almost blended with it perfectly. "I've been looking for you. I heard of a fairy in the burrows, and I came to check to see if it was you or not."

"You've been looking for me?"

"Of course, I have. I heard you escaped from the beetle sprite, and I was worried you were in the snow. I didn't want to discover you were dead." Sunny placed a hand on his shoulder, and for the first time in ages, that touch didn't feel wrong. "I'm glad I was able to find you. I never got the chance to introduce myself, but I'm Sunny."

"Well," Sorrel laughed, giving him a small smile of false reassurance. "You found me. You can go back to your life knowing I'm safe."

He appreciated the gesture regardless. I wish there was a way to repay him.

"Come with me," Sunny offered.

"I can't." Sorrel shook his head while averting his eyes. Shame swirled like a cold wave. "I have to stay here."

"The prince is looking for you. I can take you to him."

"Cypress?" Sorrel's heart clenched terribly in his chest, and just the mention of him brought on an overwhelming amount of sadness. He didn't want to think of Cypress anymore. He wanted to forget about his very existence. "Why would he be looking for me?"

He's marrying someone else. Why should he care what happens to me?

"I don't know," Sunny grumbled. "I just know that he is. He said he needed to fulfil some promise to take you home. I haven't seen him since he went after the beetle sprite. I needed to heal my wing, so they left me behind."

Sorrel's laugh was empty. So, it was just because of that stupid promise. The one he'd broken by letting Sorrel be taken in the first place.

"Tell him to stop searching," Sorrel said with a small, defeated voice. "I'm getting married on the last day of winter. I can't leave the burrow."

"Getting married?" His feathered brows came together tightly, making his forehead crease with the intensity of his frown. "Why? To who?"

Sorrel sighed as he turned his head downwards to watch himself fiddle with his own fingers. For some reason, he trusted this swallow sprite. Since he was taken, he was the first person he'd met who didn't truly seem to have some kind of ulterior motive.

He was a nice person, and maybe it would unburden his load if he shared part of his sorrow with him.

"To the mayor, Miss Mole. I don't have a choice." He flicked his finger over the edge of his nail as his head lowered further. "She said she'll destroy my mother's life if I don't."

"She sounds like a horrible person." He grabbed Sorrel's shoulder with one arm to shake him like he was trying to shake some sense into him. But Sorrel already knew what he was doing, even if he hated it. "You can't marry someone like that. Come with me – I'll take you home then."

"I can't." He wanted to, though. More than anything, he wanted to go with this swallow sprite. "There's nothing out there for me anymore. I was brought into this world to bring my mother happiness, and I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I was the cause of her suffering."

"Let's go to the fairy prince together," Sunny offered gently, trying to coax Sorrel out of the burrow like he was a wild, frightened animal. "Maybe he can help you."

He clenched his teeth tightly, wishing his heart wouldn't feel as though it were shattering even further.

"No." Sorrel didn't think he could bear to look Cypress in the eye. He didn't think he could handle seeing him while knowing he was about to bond with another. "Miss Mole is powerful. There's nothing he can do to save me without breaking the treaty between their kinds."

Sorrel had learnt much over the course of the two months in the underground city. There were written texts he'd been able to read, detailing the histories between the animal and flower fairies. The different kinds of magic they had, what their duties and roles in life were, and so on.

Sorrel was an abnormality within that structure.

He'd also come to learn just how thin the line between them was. Unless Cypress planned to start a war, which he wouldn't do for someone he didn't care for, nor would it be what Sorrel wanted for the kingdom, there was nothing that could be done.

Not in time, at least.

Either he married Miss Mole or Greta's farm would be destroyed in the spring.

But I know she wouldn't want me to do this. His mother wanted him to be happy. If she was aware of what he was doing, she'd be so disappointed that he'd chosen to be selfless.

She'd told him she could survive anything, but Sorrel didn't know how he'd be able to live with his regret. But she's already hurting. He could imagine her weeping over his disappearance.

He wanted to bury his face in his hands. No matter my choice, I'm hurting her. He could stay out of her life but surrender his own in order to keep her and the farm safe, or he could risk going to her to ease her loneliness, and watch the farm she had built her whole life be destroyed.

"Well, if you don't want to go to the prince, why not come with me? We can leave here," Sunny offered, his hand curling into a fist. "I can take you anywhere. Far away from all the flower and animal fairies of this forest."

"P-pardon?" Sorrel rasped out, surprise causing his brow to crease.

"You're beautiful." Sunny's feathers ruffled, seeming to puff around his head. "I would never hurt you, never do anything you wouldn't want. I could take care of you, keep you safe, and fly you wherever you wanted to go. We could avoid winter forever, and always live in spring and summer should you choose it. There are other, faraway lands."

"You too?!" Sorrel bit out, swiftly getting to his feet to get away from him. "Everyone wants me, but no one seems to care what I want."

"I-I meant as a friend!" Sunny exclaimed, rising as well. "Well, mostly. But, if you can't go back to the human for fear of the mole, and don't want to be with the prince, then I am offering another solution. There could be another fairy you like, maybe in a different field."

"No! I can't do that to Greta. I can't take that risk." His hands trembled as he stared down at them, wishing he wasn't faced with the path he was being forced to walk. "Even if I don't love Miss Mole, and I know my future will be bleak, I have to do this for her." Then he wrapped his arms around his midsection. "If you see Cypress, tell him to stop searching and that I hope he has a happy life."

Even if it was without him, Sorrel still wanted him to be happy. He'd shown him one night of happiness. He would forever cherish it, and would never regret it, even if thinking back on it pained him.

"Your name, it's Sorrel, right?" Sunny reached for him while rising to stand, but Sorrel stepped away even further. "Don't do this. We can figure out another way."

"You should leave before the burrow sprites discover you here. Go back to your flock or whatever it is you do. Please, just leave me alone. I'm tired of being chased and taken against my will. At least I've chosen to do this."

Not that he wanted to make this choice.

Then Sorrel pushed past Sunny to walk down the dirt wall's path so he could go back to the city. He had to prepare for his wedding, which was in a few short days.

He just wished his throat would stop feeling like someone had strapped a collar to it; one that was too tight and choking him.