15. Fifteen

Fifteen

Griffin

Seeing Rainbow and Sunny kissing was a shot to the heart I never thought I would recover from. This was it, they would go ahead and bond and leave me in the cold. All of it was my own damn fault, too.

I didn't know why I lingered. Maybe some form of masochism. I wanted the pain to cut me deep, so I bled out on the ground in front of me, ending this misery of my own making. Why had I thought I could go against fate?

Every day was a struggle to stay away, to remember the fragile truce, that I had to keep my mates from harm. Though that was a lie, the only person I was protecting was myself. I feared they would reject me when they got to know me, just like everyone else had, until I found my pack.

Fate couldn't be wrong, though, could it? There was a reason fate had given me two mates. They each offered something to my life, had their own gifts. We would complement each other in the best ways.

Fuck, I was being melodramatic. The days leading up to the full moon were the worst for the mood swings and deep thoughts. Staying back was the best idea, even if it hurt. They'd get over me.

From my place in the shadows, far from the light Sunny and Rainbow radiated, I heard them. Sunny's gift was so perfectly him, or what I'd observed of him. Thoughtful, generous, constructive. Something Rain would cherish for years to come, as I watched them build a life together. Fuck my life. I needed to make them move if they did bond without me. I couldn't cope with this and it wasn't like I could leave, my pack was here.

A greenhouse was such a perfect gift. I wish I'd thought of it myself. Not that I knew much about my mates. Sunny was doing the work, learning about us both, while I shut them both out.

Throughout the day, I'd heard the workers come in to set things up, only leaving when everything was in place. Then Sunny had rushed in with several truckloads of plants, fertilizer and constant calls to someone called Amara. I'd heard her chide Sunny about placements, lighting, humidity, and the works. He took it all with a good-natured grin.

Sunny had spoken playfully with his friend, then, more deferentially, to a man called Kayden. The way they talked clued me into their relationship. Kayden had to be the coven leader. He asked questions about me and Rainbow and I'd thought there was still room for me.

At least, until that damn kiss. I loved watching them together, but couldn't help but wish I was there beside them. That I could kiss each one of them.

My mates lingered in the greenhouse as Rain gushed over the setup. I was just about to turn away when I heard Sunny speak.

"This was all in motion before Griffin. I'm not expecting anything to change between us until we can get the wolf on board."

They still wanted me? Or at least Sunny seemed to. The pain I was feeling, all self inflicted, lessened. I had a tiny ray of hope I hadn't messed this up completely.

"I'm sorry, it just doesn't feel right without him," Rain confessed, making my throat ache with unshed tears. I hated feeling so much emotion.

Good. The door wasn't completely closed. There was time for me to fix things. I had to be more selfish. The pack was fine. The truce would hold, or it wouldn't, but either way, I couldn't continue being so damn miserable all the time. It was affecting every part of my life.

Melting back into the shadows, I entered my house. There was a lot for me to think about.

I hadn't slept for shit recently, so I'd passed out in front of the TV, some moronic action movie playing as background noise as I thought about what I was going to do.

There was so much for me to undo. The rudeness when dealing with Rain. The antagonism with Sunny, unless he liked that. He looked like someone who could give as good as he could get.

Weren't they vulnerable, weak? my inner voice taunted, sounding strangely like my dad. I'd thought so when I'd first met them. Still had my doubts, if I was being honest with myself.

My bite could seriously hurt Sunny. It could weaken him enough to kill him. With Rain, it could outright kill him, if it didn't turn him first. Why would he risk being like me?

At the same time, Sunny was undead. He was dangerous in his own right. Rain had gotten over his fear to spend all his time with the vampire. If he wasn't worried, as the person most at risk, then why was I concerned? Sunny could tell me what he needed to feel safe with me.

Rainbow was a witch. There was so much he could do, or could learn, in order to protect himself.

In my need to protect, I'd caused harm. I'd hurt my own feelings, but worse, my mates', too.

A featherlight touch roused me from sleep.

"What are you thinking about so hard?" Sunny whispered.

I jolted, sitting upright with wide eyes. My claws burst free in my panic. I pushed them back.

"Sunny?"

"Heard you watching us. Did you hear what we said?"

With his arm casually draped over the back of the sofa, the vampire perched on the armrest, playing with the ends of my dark hair.

"What are you doing?"

"It took me a while to convince Bow, and I had some things to clean up, but I didn't want you thinking we were done with you. Far from it, actually."

"Yeah?" I croaked. His proximity was overwhelming. I wondered if he was using some sort of persuasion on me to keep me calm. Then I reminded myself he couldn't. This was just my natural reaction to him.

"Oh, sure. You see, Bow is set on you, and I can see why." He brushed a finger over my face and tapped my nose. "I can't bond with him until you do. So prepare yourself, Griff."

"For what?"

"A charm offensive."

"What if I don't want to be part of all this?"

He gave a deep chuckle even as he stroked my hair. I leaned into the touch.

"Don't be silly! I've seen you watching over us. Sure, you made a mistake right at the start, but we're ready to forgive you. All you have to do is say sorry."

Then, as quickly as he arrived, Sunny was gone. Left behind was a doodle of a wolf, a sun and a rainbow inside a heart. He was so fucking ridiculous, but I kind of liked that about him.

The next morning was the first day of the full moon. Each month, us Were shifters in the pack were locked up overnight for everyone's safety over the three days where the moon's effect was at its worst. We felt it during the day, but once the sun went down we were at our most dangerous and the shift was forced on us. The first night wasn't too bad, though we were easy to rile. The second night when the moon was fullest was when we were at our most destructive, snarling, biting, gouging everything that came near us.

I waited for Rainbow to exit his house, Sunny in tow, and stepped forward with my first peace offering.

"Hey, I made some coffee. Not sure how you take it, but…" I extended the two reusable to-go cups that someone had given me as gifts towards them.

"Oh! That's so nice. Thank you." Rain easily accepted the cup and took a tentative sip. He struggled to hide his disgust. "Um, I just need some sugar. Want to see the house?"

The offer caught me off guard. His face fell as I hesitated.

"Come on, Griff, you need to see what Bow has done with the place. I need to get some creamer." Sunny didn't give me a chance to say anything else, just took my arm and led me into the house.

Rain blushed with pleasure as I tried to praise the work he'd done. "Most of it was Sunny."

"You picked out the colors," Sunny denied responsibility. "I just did the work."

"It's, um… colorful. Suits you." I sounded like an idiot.

"After not seeing color properly for so long, I like to have it everywhere." Rain reddened further, this time maybe with shame.

"How did that work?"

"Well, these glasses," He took them off and rubbed at the lenses with his shirt, exposing a lightly furred soft stomach. I wanted to lay my head there and have him run his fingers through my hair as we listened to Sunny tell us tales of his past. "They help me see color. Without them, I have gray-scale color blindness. My mom made the spell when I was young, since it was too draining to always fix my eyes. When I could, I reworked the spell so I could see more."

"That's amazing," I said, honestly. He had to be pretty powerful to do such delicate spell work.

Both of my mates gave me pleased smiles. I caught the time on the kitchen clock.

"I, uh, also made you lunch. You've been ordering in, but I thought you might like something homemade. Let me go grab it."

The jog back to my house to collect the pasta salads I'd put together and the flapjacks I'd made from a recipe my mom used when I was young gave me time to collect my thoughts. Getting the words out to say sorry properly was harder than I thought.

They were waiting for me outside when I was done.

"This is so thoughtful, thank you!" Rain said, nudging Sunny to take the food since his hands were full with his familiar and the coffee.

"Here, let me help," I offered, stepping forward to help them both get the Jeep loaded. It was unusual for them to take Rain's car rather than Sunny's larger vehicle.

"My truck needs to be cleaned after yesterday," Sunny explained, probably seeing my frown.

"What happened?" I asked. I wanted to keep them there, even though I had so much to do and knew they likely had even more than me to get through.

"Tight corners and plant pots." He shrugged and Rain giggled.

My phone buzzed in my pocket. "I better get that. Have a good one."

"You too," they said together before closing the car doors.

I caught the call before it went to voicemail.

"Hey," came Tor's voice. "Could you come over? Nora wants to talk to you."

"Be right there." I hung up, closed over my front door and jogged down the street. The tension in Tor's voice had me on edge.

Tor and Nora were waiting outside. My friend was loading luggage into the trunk while Nora picked nervously at the sleeves of her sweater.

Seeing me, he kissed her forehead and went inside.

"He, uh, knew I wanted to talk to you alone. He's just getting the last of my stuff for our trip."

Since the mating ceremony, Nora's family had dumped her stuff just outside of our territory without so much as a word. She had taken it well. The rest of us? Not so much. It was such an insult to a woman who had done everything her family had asked.

The honeymoon was my suggestion, and the pack had all chipped in some cash to give them a nice place to stay for a week as they worked on their bond.

"What's up? If you're having second thoughts—"

"—No! Tor… Tor's fantastic. All I could have hoped for in a mate." Her cheeks pinked. She really was a beautiful woman. Didn't do a damn thing for me, but I was happy for my friend.

"Then is it the pack?"

"What? No! You've all been so welcoming," she protested. "The opposite of what my family said you'd be."

I was getting frustrated, but worked to keep it off my face. Hard because my sister said I had a resting bitch face. I missed her sometimes. Before she died she told me she didn't blame me for what happened. She knew it had been an accident. I still couldn't find it in myself to let the guilt go.

"Nora, I can't help you if you won't tell me." I worked to sound patient. So very difficult this close to the full moon.

"Look, I was sent here to mess things up for you. I've refused." She looked at me with red-rimmed eyes. "You are too important to this pack and Tor doesn't want to lead it. My dad, he was trying to set you up so Tor could take over. Be his puppet."

Nothing about that shocked me. What did was Nora confessing it. She had everything to lose from this. I could cast her out for this. Demand Tor break the bonding. I wouldn't, since I respected her strength of character.

"Okay, so what now?"

"I think my dad knew I wouldn't go through with it." She fussed with her sleeves again before meeting my eyes once more. "There has to be someone else in the pack he's convinced to come to his side. Just… be careful, okay? He will not let peace happen. He's going to keep trying to end your pack by getting you stripped as leader. If he can't get you out, then he'll kill you. He's done it before."

Nora looked so defeated. If she had been any other member of my pack, I might have gone to her and held her. With her bonding being so new, and coming from a rival pack, that wasn't a good idea.

"It'll be alright."

"Griffin, please. Tor would hate me if anything happened to you. I feel so guilty."

Tor left the house carrying the last of their bags. He dropped them in the back of the car, then wrapped an arm around her. "Alright, babe?"

"Yeah, I told him." She curled into him, looking exhausted.

"Good girl." He kissed her head. "She's deadly serious, Griff. Do you want us to stay?" He shared a look with his mate, which suggested they had already discussed this and they would stay if I asked them too. Nora looked so damn fragile and guilty. They needed to go. If anything happened, at least no one could blame her. She would be the first person our pack would point their fingers at.

"What? No. If anything, staying will be suspicious. We need to act normally."

"But—"

"It's fine. Ray doesn't know about Sunny, does he?" I could feel the smirk I was wearing.

Nora frowned in confusion, answering my question. While Tor obviously trusted his mate to an extent, he'd still kept some things from her out of loyalty to me and the pack.

"I'll explain later," Tor said to Nora before fixing his attention on me. "Watch out, okay? I'll be back in a week. Try not to let things fall apart without me."

"Get out of here, both of you. There's no chance of anything happening once I tell Sunny about this."

It should have been humiliating thinking about having my vampire mate come in to protect me, yet after years of fighting for my place, it was kinda nice to think about someone taking the weight off my shoulders for a bit.

I had to reframe what our mating would mean for me. Sunny was strong. He could probably fight well. Rain had his magic, he could protect us. What did I offer them? I couldn't let the doubt fester. Community was what I offered them. Love. I'd give my all to them.

Tor and Nora left soon after, sort of reassured I had things handled. Neither of them knew just how far Sunny had gone to keep Rain. I could only imagine what he would do once he knew my safety was under threat.