Chapter 19

CHAPTER NINETEEN

“Home, sweet home,” Estella murmured as she looked about her entrance hall with complete satisfaction, admiring all the things she loved best in her life. Her possessions gave her comfort as they winked back at her in the sunlight streaming in from a high window. Every time she went away, she was always glad to return home.

“Good to have you back, milady,” her butler said as he saw to the dispersal of her possessions into the upper reaches of the house.

Hellishly good to be home, in fact. Estella tugged her gloves from her fingers with relief. Her brief interlude with Thomas hadn’t been the calm affair she’d anticipated. Thomas had been difficult. He had not liked her mothering one bit. Oh, she hadn’t really attempted to mother him in truth, but he’d been tired and Estella had attempted to encourage him to slower pursuits.

They hadn’t even made love—the first time they had traveled together and not done so.

Estella took her bonnet from her head. What had changed to set his hackles up so strongly? Had he tired of their affair?

Estella brushed the thought aside. If Thomas was done, he would certainly tell her so. He was a direct man in all his dealings and would not lead her on without a full explanation if he had withdrawn his affections. Perhaps the fault lay within him. He had struggled from bed most mornings and by their journey’s end, dark circles had graced his eyes.

Perhaps he was frustrated by getting old. Heaven knew Estella sometimes peered into her looking glass, lamenting over the arrival of one more line to her face.

“Would you care for tea, milady?”

“Yes, I think I would. Send it upstairs to my chambers, along with some butter biscuits, too.”

Estella climbed the stairs. She looked forward to the solitude of the afternoon before Lord Daventry’s dinner party tonight. She quite thought she might lie down and rest for a good hour. Her maid could wake her when she needed to get up and dressed. Yes, a bit of solitude would be wonderful, indeed.

Yet as Estella crossed her bedchamber threshold, a loud knock sounded on the front door. Not the knocker, either, because it had not been put up. A man’s heavy fist. She turned around and peered over the railing to spy on whom it might be.

“Lord Lynton to see Lady Carrington.”

Estella drew back for two reasons. One, shock that Lynton had come to call on her the minute she’d returned home, and two, that he used his title in an attempt to intimidate her staff.

“Her ladyship is not receiving visitors, milord,” Graves intoned.

“She’ll see me.”

“How dare you!” Graves growled as Lynton pounded up the staircase ahead of the butler.

Estella stepped closer to the rail and looked down. “It is all right, Graves. I was expecting Lord Lynton.”

Although the butler frowned at the news, he went away. Estella fixed her gaze on her unexpected visitor. Lynton was better dressed than his usual sober self. He reminded her of the young lord he used to be, except he moved without a self-assured swagger to his step. Right now, he seemed uneasy. “How may I help you?”

“We need to talk, Essy, in private.”

Although she didn’t particularly care for the idea, she retreated to her bedchamber, leaving Lynton to follow if he dared. He’d likely caused enough gossip already by demanding to see her this way. What was one scandal more to cap off the day?

He shut the door behind him and leaned against the wood. “I’m sorry about my brother.”

Estella shrugged. “Your brother has some strange notions in his head. They’ll soon disappear, as all his wild flights of fancy tend to do.”

“I think not this time.” Lynton grimaced. “He paid an unexpected call on your son while the boy was engaged with orphanage business. Staines made no bones about wishing the trustees all gone from Carrington’s house.”

Estella’s heart fluttered. “He hasn’t lost his touch at clearing a room. What did he talk about?”

Lynton set his hands to his hips, his gaze troubled. “Nothing specific, but he hasn’t lost his habit of meddling. I foresee him continuing his new association with your son. It will be remarked upon and society will take notice. The current rumor is that you and Staines had a lover’s quarrel, and his coming to your son’s house, when you were obviously from Town, will be fuel for speculation. If they consider the boy and Staines too closely, they might imagine a resemblance to the duke.”

Estella closed her eyes, willing herself not to remember the resemblance between her son and this man. But it was there, despite her not knowing how it could possibly be true. Oscar had worn that same look of contrition on his face when he’d been scolded as a boy, when he was in the wrong and knew it. She opened her eyes.

Lynton hadn’t moved. He stood still as a statue—an older version of her son. Very similar. Too similar for chance to have had a hand in Oscar’s creation. How could she not have seen it before? How could she have shared a bed with Lynton Manning and not realized it?

Estella spun about, pressing her hands together over her churning stomach.

“The first night of the Whitcombe’s house party,” he whispered. “You were expecting your husband that night. I knew it. Saw it. Carrington had whispered in your ear all afternoon, and I had to sit through that interminable dinner while he smiled at you and brought a bright blush to your cheeks.”

Estella remembered that day and night had been the best of her marriage.

Manning drew closer. He stopped behind her back, but didn’t touch.

“I had gone outside to cool my temper after you had retired to bed. I was jealous and heartsick all over again, as I had been when you’d married that slimy bastard. While I was venting my fury to the dark night, he left the house. He walked right by me with Lady Whitcombe and Lady Realford on each arm. They didn’t see me. The women were laughing about you waiting in vain for the bastard.”

Estella’s heart raced in anger over a dead man and his faithlessness, and over Lynton taking advantage of her that night. “So you decided to take his place.”

Lynton’s hands settled on her shoulders lightly, and then went away. “That was not my intention. I don’t know what I was thinking. I suppose I went to tell you where he was and what he was doing. I wanted to point out his flaws so you would leave him.”

Estella hugged herself, remembering even more of that rare evening than she thought possible. It had been a perfect memory until now. She’d thought her husband had bedded her the way she’d always imagined and needed. “You said not one word. Not one.”

“I couldn’t. By the time I entered your bedchamber, I realized you wouldn’t leave him. That you would avoid any scandal and stay with him to preserve your good name.” His hands settled on her shoulders again.

“I don’t know what I would have done if you’d told me the truth. It would have at least prepared me for the rest of my marriage,” Estella snapped. She forced a deep calming breath into her lungs and let it out slowly. “Why did you take his place?”

Behind her, Lynton’s head pressed against the back of hers. “You touched me.”

Estella frowned. “That’s hardly an encouragement to share another man’s wife’s bed.”

His rough breathing behind her caused her heart to race. “With you, it’s like fire on grass after a long dry spell. I have loved you all my life. I love you still. ”

Lynton didn’t move, but his rough pant of breath over her neck sent her pulse racing. Again, she reacted to him with astonishing ease. And she had, too, the night he’d taken her husband’s place. He had been…thorough. Gentle. And wonderful.

Estella covered her face with both hands. She trembled and fought the urge to turn around. But to see his face would make everything she had unwittingly done real. It would make this conversation utterly impossible to deny.

Lynton rubbed his hands up and down her arms. “Your son looks at my face and frowns, love. It is only a matter of time before he pieces together the puzzle.”

A sob tore from Estella’s throat. Dear God, what would Oscar do when he discovered the truth? What would he think of her then?

“I think, perhaps, we should tell the boy the truth before Staines gifts his new nephew with a larger townhouse. My brother has threatened to do so already.”

Estella dropped her hands. “I’m sure your brother will enjoy himself at my expense.”

When Lynton drew her into his arms, Estella didn’t fight the feeling of comfort that swept her. She clung to him and wiped away her tears on his coat.

“He is excited to discover he has new family to dote upon. You know how he is, forever spoiling those he can.” Lynton pressed a kiss to her brow. “He means well. He’s just vexed at me for keeping secrets. He always wanted you in the family, and he hates that I took orders. Perhaps he will be happier now that I’m leaving the church.”

Estella pushed away. “You’re not leaving because of this?”

He smiled and brushed his knuckles across her cheek. “No, not entirely. But I very much fear for the children of the orphanage. Carter wants to pull out, and you know if he does the rest will go, too. I cannot bear the thought of the children homeless again. Princeton Park is being opened again in readiness for the small arrivals.”

Estella turned around. “You’re taking them home?”

“They will enjoy the fresh air and greater opportunities for mischief and exercise. I know I did as a boy. Princeton will suit them all very well.” He stepped close again and caught up her fingers. “There is ample room for visitors, too. I should be pleased to have you, Birkenstock, and Miss Birkenstock under my roof anytime you care to come.”

“I couldn’t do that,” Estella whispered.

He squeezed her fingers. “The offer stands, regardless. I love you too much to care about Birkenstock. The children would want to see you again, and so do I.”

Although her mouth no doubt hung open, Estella couldn’t find the wits to close it. Lynton kissed her cheek and departed, leaving the door open in his wake.

She stared at it. How had her world become so confused? She liked order and a scandal-less life. When had everything changed?

She took a deep breath and walked to the door, intending to close it and attempt to sleep off her anxiety. Yet before she could, Oscar appeared in the doorway, his expression unreadable, his gaze searching.

“Oscar? I didn’t know you had arrived.”

“Yes, I’ve been here for some time.”

“Oh.” Estella licked her lips, and then cursed the nervous gesture. “How have you been, my dear?”

“Much better. I am content again.” He looked behind him and Estella guessed that he had been outside her door while Lynton had been here, professing his love. But had he overheard the first part of the conversation?

She couldn’t tell.

He cleared his throat. “I come on a commission from Lord Daventry and I am afraid I must be a trifle indelicate. He desires to speak with you in private about birthing matters. He has concerns about Lilly becoming with child.”

Estella latched onto the distraction and stepped forward, eager to help any way she could. “Is she already increasing?”

“No. Not that he’s aware of.” Oscar shook his head. “But without a female acquaintance to reassure him, he’s become a bundle of nerves. You know how he is with his wife. Could you try to find a moment to speak with him alone tonight before or during the party? I thought you might be able to advise him, or at least set his mind at ease. ”

Estella nodded. “I will do my best.”

“Thank you, Mother. They mean the world to me and I would not like to see them unhappy.”

“You are a good friend, Oscar. I am so proud of you.”

A sudden smile crossed his face. “Not always good, but I mean to be from now on. Were you very content with your position in society, Mother? I ask because I have a feeling things will change very soon, and perhaps we shall not be as well liked in the future.”

Tears pricked her eyes. He had heard it all. “Oscar, I can explain.”

“A propensity for scandal seems to run in the family, doesn’t it?” He took a step back. “Try not to be vexed with me, and I’ll do the same for you.”

Estella frowned and held out her hand to Oscar. “What else is there that you are not telling me?” He took it and she gripped it, staring up into his face and hoping to find the answers that had eluded her all these weeks.

“You’ll know soon enough.” Oscar bent and kissed her cheek, too, and hurried out.