Chapter Thirty Five

“T hat… was not exactly how I expected that to go,” Cordelia said.

“You thought that I’d mistakenly assume that your ex was back to reclaim you and get jealous?” Lydia said, smiling to show that she was kidding.

“Maybe,” Cordelia said. “And, just for info, he was coming to reclaim me. I told him to sod off.”

“Oh? Well done you, then.” Lydia collapsed onto the couch.

“Listen, there’s something that needs to be said,” said Cordelia.

“There is,” Lydia answered. “But if you don’t let me start I’m afraid that I might fall asleep.”

“Where exactly have you been?”

Lydia told her. “And I’m exhausted,” she added at the end.

“Well, let’s make this short and sweet then.” Cordelia sniffed. “I think I might be falling in love with you and I’m willing to date long distance and potentially even move if the moment is right.”

Lydia blinked and then blinked again before reaching down and roughly pinching her arm. “Ow. Jesus. Sorry. Just making sure I wasn’t actually asleep. You… what?”

“Sorry,” said Cordelia. “Did I not distill that down simply enough?”

“No, no.” Lydia cleared her throat. “Just, um, well, it was a bit… bl unt?”

“I thought you’d appreciate it,” Cordelia said. “Being all practical and efficient and everything. But I can go the sappy route if you prefer?”

“Um… I’m not sure?” offered Lydia because she thought she might need to hear what Cordelia was thinking but, on the other hand, she wasn’t quite sure she was ready to have Cordelia bare her soul just in case it contained something terrifying. Always a possibility.

Cordelia turned around so that her knees were almost touching Lydia’s. “Alright, here goes then.” She sniffed again. “I’ve been an idiot.”

“Alright.”

“I’m not done. I’ve been an idiot for not seeing what was in front of my face. I don’t know why I’m falling for you, Lydia. But I am. I could go on about hearts beating and flushes and all the rest of it. But the truth of the matter is that you make me feel safe. You… you feel like home.”

Lydia’s heart rose up into her throat and she blinked.

“You’re irritating and can be critical, but you’re selfless and you’re generous. You just appeared out of nowhere and turned my entire life upside down. And suddenly I can’t imagine my life without you in it. I’ve been depressed and afraid and lonely for so long that I’d started to think that was how life was supposed to be. Except you showed me different.”

“Cordelia—”

“No, wait, let me finish now that I’ve got started,” Cordelia said. She took a breath. “I don’t know how this will end, and… and that’s scary but it’s okay. I want to see what’s going to happen. For the first time in a long, long time I want to wake up in the morning and have something new to discover.”

She looked down.

“Lydia, I like you a lot, I know that you like me a lot, and I propose that we try very, very hard to come to some kind of compromise to make this work. If that means being long distance, or if that means me moving, then I’m fine with that. Your job is important, I saw that last night, and we’ll go wherever you need to be.”

Lydia discretely pinched herself again, just to really make sure that she wasn’t asleep. “So one night of crisis and suddenly we’re moving to Australia?” she said.

Cordelia paled. “Australia? I didn’t… I mean, yes, if that’s what it takes, I suppose.” She sounded slightly doubtful.

Lydia laughed. “It’s not what this requires, but I appreciate the sentiment. You see, I have something to say too.” She took her own deep breath. “I realized last night that there’s no one else that I’d rather have gone through any of that with. And I realize now that yours is the face I want to see every morning. It’s really that simple for me.”

“But what about all your plans? What about your new job?”

“Plans should be flexible enough to change. I should be flexible enough to change. And I have changed, being here has changed me. I’ve discovered that actually I like working here, I like being responsible for myself. But I’ve discovered more than that.”

“Oh?” asked Cordelia, lip trembling a little. “Like what then?”

“Like having a relationship, a partner, maybe even a family, is much more important to me than I’d ever imagined. That priorities change. And that…” She took a breath and then grinned. “And that I think I’m falling for you too.”

Cordelia looked away for a second to gain control of herself, and then looked back. “What about Australia?”

“What about it?” asked Lydia, feeling heavy with sleep.

“Um, your job?”

“It’s not in Australia, I told you. And anyway I thought I could probably work here but then Mikey said it wasn’t here and Max said to let him deal with things because he’s a detective.”

“Who’s Mikey?” Cordelia asked.

“Oh, Mikey’s lovely, he’s… Actually, it’s a long story and I’m quite tired.”

But Cordelia was already moving. Lydia felt her legs being picked up and spun around so that she was lying on the couch. She felt a cushion being pushed under her head. But she didn’t feel the blanket that Cordelia placed over her because she was already asleep.

LYDIA’S PHONE RANG in her pocket and she stirred, waking up with a dry mouth. “Yes,” she said, answering it automatically, her brain already prepping for whatever emergency was about to come.

“It’s Max, I’ve got news.”

“About what?” asked Lydia, struggling to sit upright.

“The job. I’ve talked to a friend on the council and he says that the Whitebridge surgery is going to be combined with the one over in Castor, that’s why they’re not advertising the position yet. The local trust wants to keep both surgeries open but to combine the training, billing and admin into one.”

“Ah,” Lydia said. “Alright, yes, I suppose that makes sense.”

“Hope it helps,” Max said cheerfully.

“Oh, you’re awake,” said Cordelia, coming in as Lydia hung up. “Um, you sort of fell asleep in the middle of a conversation there.”

“I did?”

“You were muttering something about Max being a detective?” Cordelia placed a hot cup of tea on the coffee table. “And we were tentatively planning not to move to Australia.”

“Ah.” Lydia picked up the tea gratefully. She took a sip and then started explaining, watching Cordelia’s face bloom and then sink in disappointment at the end.

“Hold on, there’s no job?” she demanded.

“Not exactly. There is a job, just the two surgeries are being combined,” explained Lydia. “And since Castor have already offered me a position, I thought they might be amenable to me asking if I can work in this surgery. With you. Unless you think that might be a problem?”

“You want to work with me?”

Lydia grinned. “I’m sorry, I must have been exhausted. I thought I’d made all this perfectly clear.” She put her tea down and shuffled forward, taking Cordelia’s hands in hers. “I want to do everything with you.”

“You do?” Cordelia’s eyebrow twitched.

“You’re infuriating and you can’t hold onto a key to save your life. Yet you’re reliable and kind and…” Lydia just remembered something. “And do you know that Nat left Toby with you, not with me? She said you were more like a real mother.”

“She did?” Cordelia asked, blushing.

“And she’s right. You are my person, Cordelia. I don’t know how I know it, I just do. I know that you’re the one I’m supposed to be here with. I know that I want to make this work and that I’m not staying here for you, I’m staying here for me. I want this.” She tilted her head. “Also, I’m moving out.”

Cordelia narrowed her eyes. “Not generally what one says when one’s declaring love.”

“Max is helping me find a place. Just a short term lease, so we can both keep our own spaces and let this relationship grow properly. I think it’s best.” She hesitated. “Unless you think I’m making a mistake?”

“No,” said Cordelia grinning. “Actually, I think you’re right. And I think that when the time comes we should look at getting a place together. A new place. Not this house. Something that’s ours.”

Lydia’s heart swelled. “I think I’d like that.”

“So is that all the logistics worked out then?” Cordelia asked.

Lydia grinned, pulling herself a little closer to Cordelia. “Most of them,” she whispered, letting her lips brush against Cordelia’s. “But I did say that I want to do everything with you. Which might include some more… adult activities?”

She felt Cordelia’s lips smile. “I could get on board with that.” Cordelia’s hand was on her back, pulling her ever closer.

Lydia pressed in, letting their lips truly meet and… the phone buzzed on the table.

She snatched herself back, grabbing the phone.

“Lydia,” she said. “Yes, yes.” She listened again. “I’ll be right there,” she said, trying to keep the sigh out of her voice. She put the phone down.

“Emergency?” asked Cordelia, sounding amused.

“Someone called Jules at the pub has dropped a glass and now has a piece of it sticking out of her foot,” Lydia said. She sighed. “You sure that this is what you want, Cordelia? Because I’m definitely willing to compromise. But I’m a doctor, this is what my life is like and I can’t change it.”

“Well, will you be coming back at some point?”

Lydia grinned. “We were rather in the middle of something.”

“Then that’s alright then,” said Cordelia airily. “As long as I know you’re not just leaving and that you’re coming back.”

The rain had finally stopped and weak evening sunshine was coming in through the windows when Lydia took Cordelia’s hands and looked deep into her eyes. “I’m always coming back,” she said. “That’s something that I can promise.”

In answer, Cordelia kissed her, softly and gently, pressing her warm lips against Lydia’s until Lydia was seeing stars. Then she drew back. “Alright then, off you go, Doctor Carlisle, your patient awaits.”