Chapter Twenty Five

I t was late when Lydia got home. Cordelia knew that she’d been at the hospital with Cass, had known that there were long wait times. She was already in bed and had been for an hour. Lying there, thinking about what she wanted, doing exactly what Lydia had told her to.

No matter how many times she thought it over, she just kept coming to the same conclusion. Lydia had changed her life, like it or not. Lydia was someone special. Someone that Cordelia couldn’t let walk out of her life, no matter how irritating she was. No matter how scary her attraction to the woman was.

She could hear Lydia in the shower, could hear her brushing her teeth, could hear her going into her own room and closing the door quietly so as not to wake anyone.

And it took every ounce of courage Cordelia had, every speck of bravery, every cell of pounding, wanting fear, to climb out of her own bed and pad across the corridor. They’d started something that afternoon, and it was going to be finished tonight. Whatever the outcome, whatever might happen tomorrow.

She knocked gently on the door but didn’t wait for an answer before she went in. The light was still on, but Lydia was in bed.

“Did I wake you up?” Lydia asked, dark eyes looking worried .

“Nope. Wasn’t asleep. Everything alright with Cass?”

Lydia nodded.

“Good,” Cordelia said, sitting down on the edge of the bed as close to Lydia as she dared.

Lydia’s face was sharp in the light of the lamp, her hair was down and Cordelia could imagine her fingers running through it. She swallowed a couple of times, gearing herself up to do what she knew she had to do. What she wanted to do.

“Lydia, I don’t like the word should,” she said, looking at the duvet. “But if that’s your language, then I’ll speak it.” Another breath and she looked up, she had to see Lydia’s face when she said this. “We should do this.”

Lydia was reaching out, taking her hand, twining her fingers into Cordelia’s so that Cordelia’s heart tripled its speed. “When you find someone special, you don’t let them go,” she said quietly.

“I know what you’re afraid of. Or I think I do. But the truth here is that neither of us can plan for anything because neither of us are clairvoyant. We don’t know what the future holds.” Cordelia squeezed Lydia’s hand. “But if there’s one thing that I’ve learned, it’s that things can be over in a second. Your life can change in a heart beat. And you can either bury yourself away and hope that nothing ever changes again, or you can step forward and make things change, because that’s what’s going to happen anyway.”

Lydia squeezed her hand back. “I really like you.”

“Good,” Cordelia said, getting a little bit of her normal confidence back. “I like you too.”

“So…” Lydia was breathing a little harder.

Cordelia grinned. “So… this is only a single bed, do you know that? I mean, I’m not averse to it, but there’s not much room.”

“We should go to your room,” said Lydia quickly.

Cordelia stood up, pulling Lydia with her by the hand. “You know, that’s the first time you’ve used the word should and I’ve thoroughly agreed with you.”

“Do you ever stop with that?” asked Lydia. “I mean, I get that you think of it as a critical word, but honestly, it’s just a convenience, it’s very hard to avoid a word that’s so common and, frankly, useful, I mean—”

She couldn’t finish her sentence because they were already in Cordelia’s bedroom, and Cordelia was already pulling her in, already crushing her lips against Lydia’s because if she had to wait for a single second more she might actually explode.

“Jesus,” Lydia drawled as Cordelia finally pulled away. “That was…. something.”

“FYI, I don’t know what I’m doing here,” Cordelia said in a business-like fashion. There was no point in pretending. Lydia was a doctor, Cordelia thought that she’d probably pick up on what she did and didn’t know about anatomy.

“I’d say you made a pretty good start,” said Lydia. She took Cordelia’s hands and pulled her closer. “Can I take these off?” she asked, plucking at Cordelia’s pajamas.

Cordelia’s heart-rate skyrocketed. “If I can return the favor.”

With careful fingers, Lydia began to unbutton Cordelia’s top until her fingertips were brushing Cordelia’s skin and Cordelia’s pulse was beating through her whole body. She was warm, between her legs was already wet, and they’d barely even started.

In more of a hurry now, she lifted Lydia’s t-shirt and bared full breasts and had to bite back a gasp. Lydia grinned and fell back onto the bed. “Come here,” she said, patting the mattress. “Let’s have your first lesson.”

Obedient, Cordelia perched on the end of the bed and Lydia laughed. “What’s so funny?”

“You,” Lydia said. “Just you.” She sat up slightly. “Cordelia, bottom line here. I find you so attractive that I’m already half-ready to cum just from looking at you. Just so you know. I think the time for shyness and tiptoeing around is probably over. You are absolutely gorgeous and there’s nothing that I want more than to fuck you and be fucked by you. Clear?”

Cordelia felt her breath catch in her chest, felt heat rise up inside her. “Clear,” she said, pushing Lydia back, grasping at the soft skin of her thigh and parting her legs. “Abundantly clear.”

She was rushing things, but she had to know. She pressed her hand against Lydia’s center, then parted her folds. Lydia gasped and her eyes started to close and Cordelia felt for what she needed and was astonished when two fingers slid easily up inside Lydia.

“Jesus,” breathed Lydia again.

“Jesus yourself,” Cordelia practically choked. “You’re so turned on already.”

Lydia started to move her hips, started to ride Cordelia’s fingers as though she couldn’t wait and Cordelia’s center clenched in anticipation.

No, she told herself, this wouldn’t do. This was the first time, it had to be better, slower, more special. But Lydia was still moving on her hand and she couldn’t just pull out of the warm, wet, sweetness of her.

Instead she moved over, insinuating herself between Lydia’s legs, leaving her fingers where they were and leaning in so that her breasts brushed Lydia’s chest. She had to hold her breath for a second to regain control of herself.

“Kiss me,” Lydia demanded, eyes flying open even as her hips continued to move.

Cordelia grinned. “Where?” she asked.

But she didn’t wait for an answer. She bent her head and softly, gently kissed Lydia’s nipple. Lydia groaned in response and Cordelia felt her clenching around her fingers and suddenly understood that slow and steady were not going to win this race. She bent further, taking Lydia’s nipple into her mouth and sucking.

Lydia arched up to meet her, her back curving as she began to pant, to cry out. Cordelia slicked her fingers in and out, raised her thumb and began to rub it against the hard bump of Lydia’s clit as she did so.

One final thrust and Lydia arched up, the world stilling and silencing for a moment until she broke into cries of release and her muscles spasmed around Cordelia’s fingers, holding them tight until slowly, Lydia began to regain her breath.

“First time, huh?” Lydia said, still panting.

“Quick learner,” said Cordelia, pulling her fingers away, feeling their stickiness, feeling the heat burning deep inside her.

“Come to me,” said Lydia, pulling her down, pulling her into a kiss that made Cordelia feel like disappearing into the young doctor and never coming back.

Then hands were pressing her down, skirting her hips and Cordelia’s blood was pounding, but she pulled away from the kiss.

“Er, listen,” she said.

“You want to stop?” asked Lydia, pulling her hands back immediately.

“No, god no,” said Cordelia, mesmerized by Lydia’s swollen lips. “Not at all. Really. I just… Um, you should know that I don’t always orgasm. Er, it’s not that I’m not turned on, I really, really am. But I sometimes have problems and, well, I don’t want you to think…” Christ, this wasn’t the time for this conversation, was it?

“Perfectly normal,” Lydia said briskly. She slid back onto the bed until she was sitting up against the headboard, legs parted. “Come and sit here.”

Not really knowing what was happening, Cordelia did as she was told, sitting so that she was between Lydia’s legs, her back pressed against Lydia’s breasts. Lydia reached down and took Cordelia’s right hand in her own.

“Now, show me what you like,” Lydia said, her voice whispering in Cordelia’s ear and sending shivers down her spine. “Show me what you do to yourself.”

Feeling awkward and a little shy, Cordelia moved her hand between her legs, Lydia’s hand still covering it. Slowly, she started to touch herself, turned on as much by the sound of Lydia breathing behind her as the touch of her fingers.

As she began to respond, her breath came faster, and then Lydia was pushing her own hand under Cordelia’s and taking over. Cordelia groaned and Lydia’s other hand rose, stroking at a sensitive nipple until Cordelia’s legs started to shake.

Until her breath stopped coming.

Until her hips pressed against Lydia’s hand.

Until every cell in her body was throbbing and pushing and then releasing and waves of sensation passed down over her.

“I’m not sure that you have problems orgasming,” Lydia said. “I think you might just have problems with inattentive or impatient partners.”

“That’s your official diagnosis, is it?” Cordelia said, wiggling so that she could see Lydia’s face.

“Well, there’s really only one way to scientifically form an opinion,” said Lydia, her arms coming up to cradle Cordelia, to pull her in, her lips coming closer.

“Really?” Cordelia asked, the breath that had barely returned suddenly making a move to desert her again. “What would that be?”

“Continued experimentation,” Lydia said.

“Hmm.” Cordelia let her lips brush against Lydia’s for a heart beat. Then she moved, sliding downward and turning at the same time so that she was still between Lydia’s legs but in a very different position. “I’m no doctor, but as I understand it, there should be a control in any good experiment.”

“You—” began Lydia.

But the words caught in her throat as Cordelia started to kiss up the inside of her thighs, first one side, then the other, until her tongue reached the bitter-sweet citrus wetness between Lydia’s legs.