Chapter Seventeen

L ydia was closing up her office when Max walked in. The policeman looked tired and stressed. Enough so that Lydia considered offering him a blood pressure test. Just as she was about to do so though, she noticed that Cordelia was looking pale.

She sighed. This was taking a toll on everyone, she could see that. And it was kind of her fault. She had told Nat to seek help. She just hadn’t expected Nat to go to Timbuktu to find it.

“Ladies,” said Max.

“News?” Lydia asked.

He looked at both of them and shook his head. “That’s why I’m here. It’s already Wednesday evening, that makes this a week long investigation. I think it might be time to start getting things into shape and making things official.”

“Official?” Cordelia asked.

“You two can’t be expected to look after Toby forever. And this really isn’t above board. The boy should be in the hands of someone registered to take care of him.”

“Do you think we’re doing a bad job?” asked Cordelia, eyes gleaming hard.

“No, no,” Max said quickly. “Quite the opposite. But, like I said, it’s been a week and there’s still no sign of Nat. ”

“She’s coming back,” Lydia said. “I’m sure of it. She loves Toby to bits, she wouldn’t walk out on him. I mean, she left a note and everything.”

Max swallowed. “I’m sure she intends to come back. If she can.”

“What does that mean?” asked Cordelia.

Max shuffled his feet.

“He means that something could have happened to her,” Lydia said quietly. “Something that means she can’t come back.”

“We have to consider all possibilities,” Max said, looking pained.

“I understand,” Lydia said. She didn’t want to give Toby up, not least because he was a little delight to be around. But Max had a point, it had been a long time. Plus, she couldn’t think of an argument to keep the child, no matter how much she might want to.

Add in that Cordelia probably wanted her home back and, well, there weren’t exactly a lot of choices.

“No.”

Lydia looked up and saw Cordelia holding Toby, her face flushed now but her eyes still hard.

“No,” Cordelia said again. “He’s not going into care.”

“Cord,” began Max.

“Listen,” said Cordelia. “Nat has family, we know she does. She went to stay with her mum for a couple of weeks after Toby was born. I remember because he had his first vaccinations there and the doc was all up in arms about it, said it ruined his record keeping.”

“Okay,” said Max.

“So, track down the family instead,” said Cordelia. “Find Nat’s mum, see if she’ll come down and take Toby. That’s got to be better than going into care. If you start all that then Nat will get into trouble, we don’t want that.”

“At some point I’m going to have to charge her with child abandonment,” said Max.

“No. She didn’t abandon him, she left him with us,” Cordelia said firmly. “And we’ll look after him for as long as it takes. Won’t we?” She turned to Lydia.

Lydia, who was trying quite hard not to cry, simply nodded. Cordelia was coming to Toby’s defense. Not what she’d expected.

Max scratched his head. “Alright,” he said finally. “We’ll give it another week. You could argue that getting a babysitter for a two week holiday isn’t beyond the realms of possibility. But by next week if she’s not back and we haven’t found further family then things need to go the official route.”

“Agreed,” Cordelia said.

Lydia was expecting her to complain about the word babysitter, but she didn’t. She just jogged Toby on her hip a little and he giggled.

“I’ll let you be getting on with things then,” Max said. “Mila offered to step in since Dash is better, but I’m supposing you don’t want that now?”

“Mila has enough to handle running her own bookshop and helping run the shop for Sylv as well,” said Cordelia.

“Tell me about it,” said Max. “I’ll check in in a couple of days.”

When he’d left, Cordelia turned to Lydia. “Sorry.”

“For what?”

“Um, just putting us in the position where we have to keep him for longer. I should have asked you first, I suppose. Although you could move out.”

Lydia took a breath, trying hard not to look into Cordelia’s blue-green eyes because she was a bit afraid of them. Afraid that they might make her do something stupid one day. “I’m not moving out.”

Cordelia nodded. “Alright.”

WHEN TOBY WAS in bed, Cordelia opened a bottle of wine and they took glasses to the living room.

“You all ready for your interview then?” Cordelia asked as Lydia sprawled on the couch.

“I live ready. I’ve researched the practice and the town, there’s not much else to do other than impress them with my wit and charm.”

“Shouldn’t be too hard then,” said Cordelia. Except she blushed a bit after she’d said it, making Lydia think that she’d been unintentionally complimented. “What’s the deal with Saturday night?”

“Nothing big. Drinks and nibbles in the actual surgery itself, which is an old vicarage so it should be nice. We show up and mingle, make small talk, and then go home. I’ve done it a hundred times.”

“I haven’t,” observed Cordelia.

“Well, just be…” Lydia was about to say ‘be yourself’ but Cordelia could be so snappy and defensive and that was the last thing she needed. “Be nice,” she finished lamely. “And again, there’s no pressure, you don’t have to be there.”

“Actually, a night out might be quite nice.” Cordelia stretched her legs out.

“I thought you wanted to be a hermit.”

“I never said that,” Cordelia said. “I just like my space. But to be honest, after a week of looking after a toddler, I’m not averse to a bit of adult company.”

“I’ll have to meet you there, I’m afraid.” Lydia sipped some of the wine, fruity and full. “My interview is the last of the lot. So I’ll text you the directions and then order an Uber for you, if that’s alright?”

“Uh, yes, alright then.”

“That way at least you can have a drink,” explained Lydia. “I’ll be in my car, so I can drive you home.”

Cordelia raised an eyebrow. “Do I look like a drinker to you?”

“You have a glass of wine in your hand,” Lydia pointed out.

Cordelia scowled, then, to Lydia’s surprise, she laughed. “Caught red-handed. I suppose a nice night out won’t kill me.”

“What might kill you is being nice about me for an evening,” Lydia said, stretching her own legs out too. Christ, she was tired. And Toby was in her room tonight. She prayed that he wasn’t going to wake up .

“Oh, I don’t know.”

Lydia froze. Her heart was still beating, but that was the only movement. She had to force herself to swallow. She had to force herself to speak. “Oh,” was all she managed.

“Don’t get me wrong,” said Cordelia. “You’re still a pain in my backside. What with all your shoulds. But I’m not an idiot. I couldn’t have looked after Toby without you.”

“You wouldn’t have had to look after Toby without me.”

“True.” Cordelia sighed. “Be that as it may, this last week has… It hasn’t been as bad as I would have expected.”

Which was high praise from Cordelia, probably as good as she was going to get. Lydia felt all warm inside. She sipped the rest of her wine and closed her eyes.

“If you fall asleep there, I’m leaving you there,” said Cordelia, getting up. “There’s no way I’m carrying you up the stairs.”

Instantly, Lydia had a picture of Cordelia carrying her up the stairs. Her insides melted and her cheeks flushed. She took a breath. “Right, yep, I’m up. Time for bed, I suppose.”

“Mmm,” said Cordelia, going off into the kitchen.

Leah called as Lydia was crawling into bed. “Hey,” muttered Lydia quietly, not wanting to wake Toby.

“Hey there yourself. Thought I’d call for a gossip, but you sound knackered. Everything alright? Ready for your interview?”

“Yeah, yeah, everything’s fine,” Lydia said, stretching out in bed and thinking about Cordelia’s back-handed almost compliment. “Really good actually.”

“Good,” said Leah. “Because the kids miss you and so do I. You’d better get this job so that you can be closer.”

“I’ll do my best.”

“And what about your tiger of a landlady then?”

“She’s not a tiger,” said Lydia.

“Oh, you sure? She sounded like a bit of a handful.”

“She’s fine. Nice. She’s just a bit… defensive. Depressed even maybe. But actually, she’s nice deep down.” Lydia thought about how hard Cordelia had fought to keep Toby. “Really nice. In fact, sh e can be lovely.”

“Ah. Lovely.” Leah let the word hang in the air.

“Not like that,” said Lydia.

“Mmmhmm.”

“Leah…”

“Lydia.” Leah echoed her sing-song tone. Then she sighed. “Lyd, I know you entirely too well. If you say she’s lovely that means that she’s more than lovely. You might not be a relationship expert or anything, but I’ve heard you talk about women before, you know.”

Lydia closed her eyes. “Fine. Yes. Alright. She’s, um, she’s attractive. But entirely impractical. She’s almost definitely straight, for a start. Oh, and she mostly hates me. There’s a million reasons why I shouldn’t like her.”

“But you only need one reason to like her,” said Leah, laughing. “And perhaps a little impracticality is what you need. You spend so long planning everything out that maybe this is the spontaneous little flirtation you need to break you out of your habits, to make you think different. You’re not a student anymore, Lyd. You’re a full grown adult with a career, and if you want a family then you’re going to have to start looking for someone.”

“That someone isn’t Cordelia.”

“Sounds like you like her. You’re living with her and you’ve got a kid.”

Lydia rolled her eyes even though Leah couldn’t see her. “I’ve stayed in her spare room for a week and we’re taking care of someone else’s kid. Not the same thing.”

“Oh well, you know what they say. The heart wants what the heart wants.”

“Quoting lesbian poets at me does not make things better.”

Leah laughed again. “You sound tired. Get some sleep. Good luck with the interview. Ring me when you’re done?”

“Will do.”

Lydia put the phone down and closed her eyes. The heart wants what the heart wants. But what was it exactly that her heart did want?