17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

Ruya

I let out a sigh of relief when I finally reached my bedroom. The wild fae had treated us well, but the fae enclave hadn't really been home. And yet, that relief was short-lived.

The elder's bargain and his warning still hung over my head like a dark omen. Finding my birth mother and hearing her heartbreaking story was a huge revelation for me, but I found it hard to pay attention to that when this whole thing with the emperor and the fae bargain might cost me not only my own life, but also the life of the man I loved. I was afraid I wouldn't be able to do what the fae elder asked of me. I was a healer. How was I supposed to murder the magic user who ruled the area's entire paranormal syndicate?

And on top of that, I was worried about Josh. Something about his sudden dizzy spell was bothering me. My magic said he wasn't ill or injured. But some deep sense told me that something wasn't right with him.

I was happy to be back home and in my own space, but the knock on the door was a welcome distraction from my jumbled thoughts and mounting worries. "Come in," I called as I kicked off my shoes and went to my dresser to find clothes to replace the strange, lightweight fae clothing I still wore. I sensed Martina's warm alpha aura as she came in, and heard the soft sound of the door closing behind her.

A soft meow let me know Lily had accompanied Martina. And the chittering reply made me smile and kneel to reach for my furry friends.

" I hope you appreciate my favor, witch friend," the cat complained. " I am not a transportation service, I am a queen !

"Yes, of course your majesty," I said, suppressing a grin. "I am ever so grateful."

Reaching out, I felt along the cat's fluffy back until I was met with delicate clawed feet and leathery wings. " Missed you so much," Vlad the fruit bat was saying, completely ignoring Lily's lecture on how to treat royalty as he transferred from her back and into my hands. " Did you bring back figs from your trip? The others say you were with the nasty wizard man, and the fae."

I chuckled, giving Lily one more soft pet before I stood. Vlad crawled up my arm and onto my shoulder, where he tangled his clever hands in my hair. "No figs, I'm afraid," I informed him. "I'm sorry. But I'll make sure we buy fruit the next time someone goes out for groceries."

Lily huffed from somewhere behind me, probably settling in to nap on her fancy cat bed. "Noisy winged rodent."

" It's okay, witch friend," Vlad said as he started scaling my hair to the top of my head. "The big warm one fed me while you were away. And the pixie one made a place just for me in the kitchen. He says I am only allowed to eat there. He gave me all the best fruits."

I grinned at that. I wasn't surprised Sanka had made sure Vlad got fed while I was gone. But the idea of Yukio fussing over the bat made my day. "How sweet," I said, suppressing a laugh.

"He caught the bat trying to get a banana out of the fruit bowl. Said he didn't want disgusting rodents all over his kitchen counters," Martina said dryly. "Then he set up some big elaborate feeding station for him on one end of the countertop so the bat can get whenever he wants." I could hear the grin in her voice. "You know how Yukio is."

Oh, I knew very well how to interpret Yukio behavior by now. He had complained about Vlad, but then set up a solution to the bat's problem, letting the disgusting rodent have a place in his precious kitchen space. Which meant he actually didn't mind. If he truly hated Vlad, he would have frozen him solid and pitched him out the back door. Not welcomed him into his space. "He's such a softie," I murmured.

Martina snorted, clearly not sharing my opinion about our fellow court member. "Sorry to bother you and burst in here with the entourage," she said as the sound of her voice moved closer. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay?"

I turned toward her with a smile. "You're not bothering me at all. Come here!" I held out my hands and she took them in her own, letting me draw her closer. She kissed my chin, and warmth bloomed in my chest.

"I know the other two idiots were busy posturing, and everyone else is either on edge about the emperor or your mother or falling all over themselves to be helpful," she said in a wry voice. "If I was you, all the fussing would drive me to violence."

I chuckled. Martina was an alpha too, just like Robin and Sadavir, but her nature had been suppressed for a long time under the thumb of her vampire captors and tormentors. She told me once that she hadn't even known she was an alpha until Robin took her in and helped her learn her own strength. She deferred to Robin by choice, not because nature demanded it. And although her alpha impulses did show themselves now and then, she wasn't ruled by them the way the more dominant alphas seemed to be. As a result, she had far less patience with all of their growling and posturing than the rest of us. She didn't have the gamma urge to defer to her alpha. And she didn't have the beta urge to coddle everyone to keep them happy and make them comfortable. Martina was far more practical.

"They are all just doing what their natures demand," I said with a shrug. "It doesn't excuse every single lack of judgement on their part, but… one can hardly expect a fish not to need water or a bird to be content under the sea. I think they're all doing their best." Sometimes their best just wasn't that great. But that could be said of anyone, myself included.

Martina lifted one of my hands and kissed the knuckles. "You really are too good for us, you know that right?"

I grinned. "Yes, I know."

"Humble too," she said, humor lacing her warm alto voice. "Clearly you've been spending too much time around Robin and Yukio."

"Well," I said with mock sadness in my voice. "I hardly had a choice where Yukio was concerned. Feel bad for me, won't you?"

She laughed, low and husky. "Oh, I'm not blind. I can see—and smell—how things have shifted between the two of you. I don't think you suffered too much."

She squeezed my hands one last time, then released them. "But you probably wanted some privacy and some time to rest and process everything that's happened. I didn't mean to invade your space. I'll go. I just wanted to make sure you weren't in here having a nervous breakdown."

"No." I reached for her, finding her shoulder and halting her movement. "Stay, please?" I sighed. "I know it only seemed like a couple of days to you. But in the fae enclave a couple of weeks passed. I've missed everyone. I've missed you. And… I hardly ever get to spend time with you alone." I couldn't help the little bit of a whine that crept into my voice.

Martina's warm fingers touched my cheek. "Oh, Ruya. Did you think… I was avoiding you?"

I shook my head. "Of course not," I rushed to assure her. But a little part of me wondered… I liked Martina. I was attracted to her, and I knew she was attracted to me, and yet, we had never progressed past a few heated kisses now and then. She always seemed to slip away into the background around here. And while I hated that, I wondered if it was by her own choice.

Maybe she didn't want anything more from our relationship, despite our alpha-omega pull. Or… maybe I had misread everything, and she had only kissed me because of my omega nature. Maybe my feelings were one-sided and to her it was nothing more than a fleeting bit of occasional pheromones interfering with a platonic friendship.

Despite all of my recent escapades and sexual exploration, I really was inexperienced in these things. I had never had any sort of romantic relationship or interaction before I was rescued from the cult. The Mother insisted those sorts of things were impure and would ruin my healing abilities. I knew now, of course, that was all a lie, just one more way to control me. But… perhaps my naivety was showing.

I felt ridiculous. Too needy. It wasn't even my heat cycle and here I was, feeling like everyone around me should spend their time fawning over me. How stupid. Was this part of being an omega too? Or was I just this absurdly self-centered?

"Ru?" Martina cupped my cheek, drawing me out of my spiraling thoughts. "Earth to Ruya. Where did you go, sweetheart? You look like you're overthinking something. Furiously."

I sighed. "I'm sorry. I just…" I pulled myself together and took a deep breath. "Martina, do you want me?"

She froze, the gentle stroking motion of her thumb across my cheekbone halting. Then she let out a surprised laugh. "Do I want you? Only more than I've ever wanted anyone or anything in my life. What brought this on?"

I felt my face go hot as a furious blush crept over me. "I thought maybe I was wrong. I'm not… I don't just know these things the way the rest of you do. I've lived in a sterile prison most of my life. And we've never…" I stopped my rambling and took a breath to get a hold of myself. Forcing myself to speak slowly and clearly, as if my heart wasn't racing. "I thought perhaps it was only my omega nature that was muddying the waters."

"Oh, Ruya ," she said softly. Then she paused. "Hold on," she said with a laugh. "I can't take you seriously when you're wearing a bat on your head." She helped me carefully disentangle Vlad's feet from my hair and I placed him on his perch in the corner of the room.

"Now," Martina said once I was bat free. "Come here." Then she slipped her hand behind my neck and pulled me down to her, so she could kiss me breathless. My entire body lit up at the touch of her soft lips, at the feel of her compact strength pressed to my body. Pulling back, she gave my lower lip a little nip before she spoke again, her voice soft and husky.

"I haven't been avoiding you, sweetheart. I've been trying to give you space ," she informed me. "I was trying to let you come to me, when you were ready. You have so many people pursuing you. The entire court is in love with you, and some of the boneheads are ridiculously possessive and pushy. I didn't want you to feel pressured into anything, and I have the apparently unique ability to be an alpha and exercise some self-control."

Her thumb stroked over my lips now, a teasing brush that left delicious tingles there. "I know what it's like to have your freedom taken away. And… I know my situation was much different than yours, but it makes me hesitant to ask you for sex. Partly because I know you don't have all that much experience. And also, because… well, for a long time sex was an obligation or a punishment to me, not something I got to choose. I have trouble asking anyone for intimacy after all my time with the vampires."

"Oh," I breathed on a tremulous whisper. "I'm so sorry, Martina. I didn't mean to remind you of old wounds! How could I be so oblivious?" I wrapped my arms around her, only fumbling a bit to get it right. Then I held her tight, tucked in against my chest.

"It's fine," she murmured against my throat. "You didn't do anything wrong, Ru. I've done a lot of healing over the years. I just wanted to explain. I'm sorry if I confused you or ever made you feel unwanted. That wasn't my intention." Her strong arms banded around my waist, and I nuzzled my cheek against the top of her head, where her hair was long enough to form soft curls, and just breathed her in.

"We are both quite silly, it seems," I told her wryly. "Though I do appreciate your thoughtfulness." The entire rebel court was, each in their own way, always so careful to respect my independence and my right to consent. Even the alphas. It was touching, since these were concepts that were never offered to me in my old life. But sometimes it was also maddening. I wasn't made of glass. And I wasn't such a push-over that I couldn't speak up for myself.

"Martina?" I asked, only blushing a little this time. "Will you make love to me, please?"

She huffed a laugh against my throat, then turned her head to press a soft kiss there. "I've never met someone so straightforward in all my life. It's… refreshing. You're amazing, you know that right?"

I scoffed. "I don't know about all of that. Repressed, more likely. But I've been given freedom. It would be a waste to squander it, don't you think?" I grinned. "After all, I've got a lot of lost time to make up for. Adventures to have. Wonderful new things to experience."

She pulled me down to her again, her lips caressing mine, softly at first, then more demanding, the flick of her tongue teasing and inviting. "I've wanted you for so long," she whispered against my lips. "I want to taste you every day. Be as possessive and demanding as all the rest. You have no idea how hard it has been to behave and be the reasonable one."

I chased her lips, stealing another lingering kiss before I spoke. "Maybe you should stop behaving," I whispered. "Stop being reasonable."

Martina let out a playful little growl and nipped at my shoulder. "If our omega queen insists."

I shook my head at the ridiculous title, but didn't comment, focused on removing layers of clothing instead. I tossed the loose fae shirt aside and Martina's warm hands ghosted over my sides, coming up to cup my breasts through my thin camisole. "You have the loveliest tits," she purred, dragging the straps of the camisole down until my breasts were on full display. "Delicious."

I let my head fall back, my hands coming to rest on her head, fingers skimming across the close-cropped hair at the base of her skull as I held her close. The wet heat of her mouth on my skin was pure bliss. The way she swirled her tongue around my aching nipples made me shudder and gasp. Then she was easing the rest of my clothing off, pulling the camisole down with my pants and underwear and tossing them somewhere.

Random piles of clothes were a trip hazard when you were blind. But at the moment, I couldn't care less. I made my way to the bed and crawled to the middle, then sat back against the pile of pillows at the headboard, holding my arms out in invitation.

Martina was there in an instant, her powerful, sculpted body sliding against mine as she crawled up to kiss me. I stroked one hand down her back, then lower, to knead a deliciously muscular cheek. My other hand stroked over her small, pert breast. She felt so beautiful in my hands. And she made me feel beautiful as well. Like the queen she had called me earlier. We fit perfectly together, as her smaller body covered mine, one strong thigh slipping between my own, both of us groaning at the teasing pressure that created in all the right places.

She pressed kisses along my neck and down to my collar bone, and I sucked in a breath, suddenly feeling a bit less confident. "I don't know what I'm doing," I said honestly. "Help me, please?"

Martina kissed the edge of my jaw as she sat up to straddle my hips. "Robin is the only woman you've ever been with, isn't she?"

I nodded, refusing to feel embarrassed. "Yes, and…"

"The dragon's parts are quite a bit different than mine," Martina continued, taking mercy on me. "Don't worry," she soothed, drawing a tickling finger down the center of my chest and to my belly button. "I'm built pretty much like you are. Familiar terrain. Though I don't clutch like a witch. I've never been with a witch to experience that firsthand, but… I've heard about it."

I huffed. "It's frustrating," I complained. "Always slowing things down."

Martina laughed. "Oh, you're so cute when you pout. But don't worry, sweetheart. I don't' have a dick. So, we won't be glued together. I can torment you without stopping."

I barked a laugh at that, embarrassingly loud. Then I pressed my lips to hers again to cover my awkwardness. She was right earlier, I supposed, it was probably strange how I just asked things. But I had learned that everyone in this court genuinely wanted to know what I was thinking, what I wanted and needed. And that was liberating. It made me brave enough to ask for guidance when I needed it. And no one yet had ever made me feel wrong for that. Martina was no different. She slid off me, stretching out so we lay side by side, facing each other. Then she drew my hand down to the vee between her legs, urging me to explore.

She was right. Despite her being a shifter, our anatomy was the same. I stroked my fingers through her close-cropped curls and along her folds, gathering her wetness before swirling my finger around her clit. She sighed and arched into my touch. "Okay?" I asked, though from the way her body pressed into my hand, I knew the answer.

"Absolutely," she purred, nuzzling my neck and pressing a kiss below my ear as she caressed my breast. "I'll let you know if you do something I don't like. And you do the same for me, okay? Even if we're built the same, not everyone likes the all the same things."

I murmured my agreement, but what little nervousness I'd had was already being rapidly overcome by desire and wonder. It was so different having Martina in my arms. She was soft and sensitive, as I'd come to expect from my encounters with the one other woman I'd had in my bed. But the flavor of their lovemaking was so different in this largely intangible way. Much like my interactions with all of my other lovers. Wonder and love bloomed inside me as I drank her in. Before my time with the rebel court, I never could have imagined the beautiful variety of pleasure and passion that existed in the world.

"I want to taste you," I told her, leaning in to kiss her deeply, then pulling back to wait for permission. "Can I?"

Martina chuckled, low and throaty. "You don't have to ask, Ru. I've been dreaming of that for months."

I laughed against her lips, then pressed her onto her back, trailing kisses along her angular jaw to her throat. She moaned and tilted her head to give me better access, shivering a little, and I smiled against her skin. "Does the chupacabra have a neck fetish?" I teased.

She gripped my hips to keep me where I was. "Maybe. Does that bother you?"

I answered her by sinking my teeth lightly into the soft skin of her neck, loving the way she gasped beneath me. This strong, no-nonsense powerhouse of a woman was putty in my hands, and I loved it. I kissed the spot I had just bitten, then licked a long line up the side of her throat before biting her again, harder this time. "Ru!" she gasped, "You're evil."

I moved lower, interspersing soft, lingering kisses with light nips and bites. I had a feeling Martina had more than a neck fetish. She was a chupacabra after all. She proved me right, squirming and muttering praise and threats as I worked my way downward toward my goal, biting here and there as I went.

Eventually, I settled between her thighs, sliding my hands over the smooth skin of her inner thighs and parting them. I kissed my way up one thigh so I could find my way without fumbling. I didn't often bemoan my blindness—it was just part of who I was—but at that moment, I wished I could see more than vague shadows. I wished I could see her spread out before me like a feast. But I made do with sensation, kissing my way to where I needed to be, then swiping my tongue over her damp flesh in a light tease that made her squirm before I finally settled in.

I had never done this before, but I had certainly been on the receiving end enough to have some idea of what felt good. So, I did what I knew I liked, and trusted that Martina would guide me if she wanted something different. Her breath came in soft pants as I worked up a good pace, flicking my tongue over her clit in that way that always drove me mad. Her hands tangled in my hair, and she murmured encouragement.

"More?" I asked, pausing to press a kiss to her thigh as I drew a finger over her wet folds in suggestion.

"Fuck yes, please," she demanded, lifting her hips restlessly.

I grinned and slowly slid a finger inside her while I went back to worshipping her with my mouth. She bucked against my hand, her grip on my hair getting tighter, more demanding. I added another finger and she groaned.

"Harder," she demanded, breathless and trembling. "I'm a shifter, Ru. You don't have to be so careful."

That gave me pause. I didn't want to hurt her. But I could certainly appreciate the desire for more. So, I did my best to give it to her. I pressed my fingers in deeper and harder, faster, curling and pressing upward. She groaned. "Yes, like that. Oh, goddess, Ru."

Then I leaned in and sucked hard on her clit, sending her rocketing over the edge into orgasm. She cried out, clenching around my fingers, her grip on my hair nearly painful. I loved every second of it. My hand was drenched, and I gently withdrew my fingers to slowly, gently lick her with the flat of my tongue, drawing it out, bringing her down the way the others liked to do for me. It was glorious being on this side of things, knowing the pleasure I could give.

Her fingers in my hair gentled, as she clumsily petted my head. "Come up here," she urged.

I planted one last kiss to her inner thigh, then crawled up to lie beside her, my own body flushed and wanting. I wiped my mouth on the back of my hand, but Martina stopped me, rolling on her side to face me as she captured my lips, apparently unbothered by where they'd just been. "Are you sure you've never done that before?" she murmured when we finally came up for breath.

I huffed a laugh. "Fairly certain, yes. But I have had quite a few practical demonstrations performed on me by others. Believe me, I've had good teachers."

She chuckled. "Remind me to write them all thank you notes and glowing recommendations."

She stroked a hand down my side, pressing another kiss to my lips, deeper this time, hungrier, stoking my desire back up as I wondered what came next. She pressed a lingering kiss to my neck, and I tilted my head in invitation. "Do you want to feed?" I breathed out, both excited and a little scared. Would it hurt when her teeth sliced into my skin? And why didn't the idea frighten me more?

She chuckled and pressed a kiss to my jaw as her caressing hand moved to my breast in a teasing dance. "We'll save the biting for another time. When you're more comfortable. This time I want to focus on what feels good."

"Oh. Okay." I tried not to let the surprising burst of disappointment that I felt show in my voice.

Martina stroked my hair back from my face, and I reveled in the brush of her alpha aura against my own. "How about we take care of you, sweetheart. Do you still have that box of toys?"

I pressed my thighs together as desire coursed through me once more. "I do."

"Well then, let's see what fun we can have." She dragged her sharp fangs along the sensitive skin of my neck, teasing, and I shuddered. "Yes please."