15. Emily

15

EMILY

I sat at my desk waiting for the clock to tick over to three o’clock. Daniel asked me to bring in the packets of information I’d put together last week at that time, and I felt nervous. As his assistant, part of my job required that I sometimes interact with the other partners, and after overhearing Grace tell Daniel that inner-office dating was unethical, I tried to avoid any interaction with her. Today, it would be unavoidable.

I tapped my fingers nervously as Jill approached. She noticed my tapping and stopped by my desk and leaned on it. “Everything okay?” she asked, folding her arms over her chest. She was a sweet woman, always ready to help me learn anything I didn't already know, since she had been in this position before me. I shrugged.

“I’m okay. Just a bit nervous today. I have to interrupt the partners during their meeting at three. Mr. Jacobs requested for me to bring these files. They just intimidate me is all.” I picked at my fingernails and tried not to get too worked up. My emotions were already running rampant, making me cry at the drop of a hat.

“Oh, don’t let them get to you. You’re doing fine. If you have Mr. Jacobs’s approval, that’s all you need. You just march right in there like you own the place, and you’ll see that they respect you.” Jill patted my hand and stood. “Besides, they like you. I’m sure of it. Benjamin told me the other day that Daniel is far more organized and on top of things. I think you were exactly what he needed. You seem to be whipping him into shape in ways I never could. Good job.”

I forced a smile and glanced up at the clock as she walked away. Now only minutes until I had to take the paperwork in, I took a deep, cleansing breath to calm myself. Jill was right. If Daniel approved of me, it really didn’t matter if they liked me or not. I didn’t report to them, and I didn’t have to even talk to them throughout my workday. I stood and collected my papers and strolled over to the office door. As soon as the clock ticked over, I opened the door and strutted in with confidence.

“Ah, perfect timing.” Daniel stood and straightened his tie. He always stood when I entered the room. I sort of liked it.

“Here you go, Mr. Jacobs, the files you requested.” I handed him the papers, but I noticed the partners were staring at me. If I hadn’t known better, I’d have thought maybe I had a stain on my shirt or a booger or something. I swallowed away the nerves and pointed at the stack. “I made copies for everyone, and here you’ll see that the client’s budget is highlighted as you requested. Is there anything else?”

“I think that’s all. Thank you, Emily.” He smiled at me, and I turned to go when Benjamin chimed in.

“Actually, we were just having a little debate, Emily. Mind settling it for us?” He grinned and looked at Michael, who looked irritated that I was even in the room with him. He was the one who made me the most nervous.

“Uh…” I glanced around. Olivia looked down at her cell. Grace scowled at Daniel, and I was left feeling jittery, wishing I could run out. “Sure?”

“Alright, so we want to know which is the most famous landmark. The bean, or Wrigley.” He looked at Michael again, smirking. “Mike over here thinks it’s the bean, but I know it’s Wrigley.”

I licked my lips and felt my throat constricting. I’d heard of Wrigley Field before but had no clue what he meant by the bean. Maybe that was the point. He was trying to prove that everyone had heard of baseball stadiums, but some other lesser landmark was insignificant. I faltered, finding my hands searching for each other so I could pick my nails.

“Well? Which is it?” Michael insisted, raising an eyebrow.

“I’m sorry, sir. I don’t think I know what the bean is. Maybe it goes by another name?” I felt foolish. I knew nothing about the city. I hadn’t even taken time to sightsee or explore. Since I moved here, I had been working all the time. I couldn’t even look at Daniel. I felt like I was embarrassing him too, considering people had seen us leaving together, so they likely assumed we were dating.

“The bean?” Michael’s eyebrows rose and drew together in the middle. “You’ve never heard of the bean? Cloud gate? Millennium Park?” He laughed, and I looked down at my feet, unable to look at the others’ faces.

“Come on, guys. She’s new to town.” Daniel sticking up for me was the last thing I needed. It was pity. I hated pity. Like the time one of Evelyn’s ex boyfriends wanted to date me after breaking up with her because he felt sorry for my not having anyone interested in me. It was degrading.

“Look, Wrigley it is.” Benjamin was doing it too, trying to redirect the conversation away from my humiliation.

“No, it’s sort of funny, though,” Michael said. “The bean is so huge, who could miss it? A giant, silver, bean-shaped piece of art.”

As he described what it was, I instantly remembered the night Daniel drove me across town for dinner and I saw the massive silver blob. I had no clue what it was called. I’d never heard of it before coming to Chicago, though, so Benjamin’s point stood. Everyone had heard of Wrigley field, but not everyone had heard of the bean.

“We need to get back to business,” Daniel said, dropping the papers on the table in front of himself. “Emily, come with me.” He moved toward the door, and I followed behind him, shuffling my feet. I felt the eyes of everyone in the room on me, like I was the leper in the camp being ushered out of town before I infected anyone else. When the door was shut behind us, I felt my eyes welling up.

“I’m so sorry. I am humiliated.” I pinched the bridge of my nose to stop the tears from coming.

He took me by the arms, talking softly to me. “Emily, are you okay? Those guys are rude sometimes. I’m sorry.”

“You know, I don’t know. It’s quitting time in like an hour. Can I just go home? I don’t want to cry in front of these people.” I swiped at my rebellious eyes and sniffled.

“Sure, you can. I’ll call you later, okay? If you need anything, you call me.” Without any shame, Daniel leaned in and kissed my forehead. “Be safe.”

I stood there for a moment after he’d let himself back into the conference room, then relaxed my shoulders, got my purse from my desk, and headed for the elevator. I made my way to the subway and found a spot to sit, deciding I needed to talk to someone about how I felt, so I called Charlotte, who answered on the first ring.

“Hey, Em, what’s up?”

I blinked hard, keeping the tears away, and cleared my throat to ensure my voice didn’t quaver as I spoke. “Well, I’m humiliated. Work was literally just a shit show, and I wanted to cry.”

“Oh, gosh, what happened? You broke up with Dan?” Her first question made me bristle, the fact that she thought that made me sad, probably because I feared it was how things would end, anyway.

“Uh, no, but I’m a little worried about things with him too. That’s a different story, though.” I chewed my nail as I stared out the window. The subway pulled out of the station, moving slowly. I watched out the window as pedestrians on the platform waited on the next train while we zipped away.

“So tell me what happened,” Charlotte said.

“I mean, it was nothing major, and I guess the situation is actually more connected to whether Daniel and I will make it or not than I realized. Char, I don’t think we are similar enough. Dan likes the city. I want to move away from here eventually. He is so bold and outgoing, and I’m really shy. He’s got all this power, his entire career built. I’m just starting out. I have nothing. He’s rich. I’m living off ramen and using a laundromat.” My eyes burned with unshed tears.

“Gosh, is that all?”

“No, I mean… Well, he doesn’t see himself being a father. I want kids, a lot of them. You know how much that means to me.” Hearing it all out loud, it was finally sinking in. We weren’t even compatible. We came from different worlds. “Why am I even dating him? Evelyn was right. This is a disaster.” I let the tears fall freely.

“No, stop that. Em, you’re the Yin to his Yang, the peanut butter to his jelly. You don’t eat a ketchup sandwich and put ketchup on it. You need the meat!” Charlotte chuckled. “You’re seeing it all wrong. Opposites attract for a reason. You even him out. What makes you think his power won’t leave room for you to have your own? Or that his money has to override anything you do? You can be a little bit of country to tone down his city-boy attitude.”

I appreciated her humorous attempt to make me feel better, but I’d already decided my fate. I was too different from him, mostly because I was pregnant and I knew he didn’t want kids. Or at least that’s what he’d said. He didn’t see himself as a father. That difference was one that would definitely divide us. I couldn’t see us coming back from this when I told him I was pregnant.

“Hey, Char, I really appreciate your talking with me, but I’m just not feeling good anymore. I think I’m going to nap the rest of the ride home.”

“Yeah, okay. Well, I’ll be here all night. I have no plans.” She sounded defeated, and I hated making her feel like that. She usually had a knack for helping me, but today was just not that sort of day.

“I’ll call you later, maybe.”

“Alright, bye.” Char hung up, and I put my phone away. I had to figure out how to tell Daniel I was pregnant with his kid. I just knew he was going to be upset about it, and for that reason, I decided to wait. I cried about everything already. When I told him, I wanted to feel level-headed, not emotional.

I just didn’t know how long it would be before my emotions settled down.