16

It was a nightmare. It had to be a nightmare.

One moment, she was awake and wandering downstairs while leaving a sleeping Cedric behind, and the next, she was opening the door, ready to take in a beautiful winter wonderland with snow and the mountains and the late morning sun, only to find a bear laying across the front steps. Logically, she knew that screaming wasn"t the answer, and she was used to seeing bears wandering around Bear Valley, but to find one sitting outside of the door like that, passed out asleep? It was completely foreign to her, and so she had screamed, and grabbed the gun, and she knew she had bear spray packed somewhere but shooting off the shotgun into the air just felt like the best idea, but really it was a stupid one because she would have to then close the door and avoid angry paws, and why did Cedric have a bear asleep on his front steps, and—

And then, Cedric had come rushing down the stairs, and kicked the bear, like a crazy person.

Only, apparently she was the crazy one, because not only did Cedric know the bear, but then it had turned into a human who looked identical to Cedric, or just about identical, and that wasn"t possible. A bear turning into a human? What was next, witches and wolves? No. That wasn"t real. None of that was real. It was the garbage from teen romance novels and crappy television. It wasn"t real. That simply didn"t happen.

And yet, it did. She had seen it happen.

A nightmare. That was what this was. What it had to be. Because never would she have dreamed or imagined or ever even conceived the possibility that humans could transform into bears, and vice versa. She was still asleep, having a bad reaction to whatever cleaning products Cedric had used to clean the cabin, or worse, she had dreamed up him coming for her and saying he would get her pregnant, and she was laying alone in her cabin and forgotten.

But the longer she stood there, shotgun in hand and eyes wide, waiting to wake up, the more reality set in. She wasn"t asleep. She wasn"t trapped in a nightmare. She wasn"t dreaming and alone in her cabin.

This was real. Cedric"s twin brother had changed from a bear into a human.

And Cedric hadn"t been surprised. He was offering to explain it to her. Asking her to hand him the gun.

The gun that she had lowered to pointing at him.

Oh, God. She wasn"t an idiot. She knew about gun safety. She should never have pointed it anywhere she didn"t plan to shoot, and yet there she was, pointing it at the man who had fucked her all night long, who made her sees stars, and who had offered to give her a baby.

The man who apparently had a huge fucking secret, like his brother was literally a fucking bear.

"What the fuck just happened?" she hissed, still aiming the gun at Cedric. "Don"t lie to me."

"I won"t lie to you," Cedric insisted, his hands lifting slightly. Why the hell was he half hard? It was freezing cold, the door still open and blowing snow inside, and he was naked. "I"ve just been keeping a secret, but I planned to tell you."

"Did you?" she demanded, her voice hard despite her finger very carefully leaving the trigger. "When? Before or after you got me pregnant?"

"Today or tomorrow," he answered quickly, and shook his head a little. "Planned to take you to my brother"s place. Figured it would be easier with him and Cordelia there."

"What?" Bethany asked, blinking a few times. "Wait, Owen is your brother?"

She could see the family resemblance now, but she had also thought maybe all giant Lumbersnacks looked the same, what with their flannel shirts, big beards, and huge muscles. She had also never really studied Owen before, only ever seeing him in passing until Cordelia showed up.

"My older brother, yeah."

"How long have you known he was seeing my cousin?" she asked next, wanting to know just how long he had kept yet another thing from her.

"Fuck, didn"t realize she was your cousin for a while, but I really pinned it together a few days back, when I could smell her in your cabin, and visited my brother to figure out why his girl was back in town."

He... smelled her in his cabin? Of course. Bethany had told Cedric that her cousin was back in town, but what did he mean by—"You"re really a bear?"

"Fuck, Sunshine, give me the gun, please," he asked again, taking a step towards her. She took an immediate step back in response, not wanting him to touch her. Every time he touched her, her brain went all stupid, and she needed to have her wits about her. "Yes, fuck, I"m a bear. A bear shifter. Half human half bear. Okay?"

No. Not okay. Nothing was okay. This was not okay. A bear. He was a bear. A bear shifter.

And Cordelia knew about it? How many people in total knew about this?

Wait—"Would the baby be a bear as well?"

"Fuck, yes," Cedric confessed, taking another step closer. "I would have told you, I promise I would have, but I"ve never told anyone before, and I didn"t know how you would react, and if I had known it would be like this I would have made sure all weapons were put up, but—"

She pointed the gun up, away from Cedric, and handed it over immediately, not trusting her own hands to remove the shotgun shells. She could feel them shaking already, now that she had nothing steady in them, and she turned to head back into the cabin, towards the low fireplace and more clothes. She was freezing cold now, her teeth chattering and her hands likely shaking for more reasons than what she had assumed, and she needed to think. To sit down and think about what she had just learned, and what she was going to do.

A bear. A fucking bear. She was fucking a bear. That was...

This was crazy. She was crazy. Everything was crazy.

She was going to kill Cordelia when she got her hands on her cousin. This wasn"t the sort of shit to keep secret!

"Give me a minute, please," she hissed, not looking over her shoulder as she stomped deeper into the cabin, only pausing to kick off her boots as she reached the staircase. He had carried her up these very steps the night before, when she had been unable to take her hands, or her mouth, off of him. Now, however, she needed distance. Whatever distance he would allow her.

The bed was the only piece of furniture upstairs, while all of her clothes remained on the lower level, so she climbed into the bed and pulled the covers, most of them still half-hazardously balled up from the night before, over her shaking body. The door downstairs closed, and she wondered which side of it he was on, but then she heard the fire grate scraping across brick, informing her he was downstairs, giving her some space, and building up the fire.

Good, because she was cold and needed to think, and the two didn"t go well together.

A bear. He was a bear. That was...

She needed to think about this, but she had no idea what to think. What she actually needed was answers to all of the questions ready to race through her head, but she was unable to voice them, while also not in the mood to hear his answers.

Bethany laid there in the bed, slowly warming up as the temperature in the cabin rose, but even when she could feel her fingers again, she didn"t get up in search of clothes, or of him. What was there to even say? What could she even do? How was she supposed to move forward?

And so, she remained in the bed, staring at the ceiling while listening to him move about downstairs. She needed to pee, desperately, but she also didn"t want to face him. Not until she knew what to think. Not until she had a plan.

But needing to pee while trying to think was impossible, and so finally, she climbed out of the bed again and wrapped his shirt tight around her body, trying to cover as much of herself as she could. It was a good thing he was so big, but her ass was probably hanging out the bottom, not that he hadn"t seen it before. He had seen all of her, time and again, and she...

She apparently knew nothing about him. Nothing that was important, anyways.

Cedric was sitting on the couch as she journeyed down the stairs, and she could feel his eyes on her while she focused her attention on her steps. The last thing she needed was to slip and fall while she was still angry... or something like that.

Was she even angry? Fuck, she didn"t know. Maybe scared? Possibly nervous?

Or... no. No, what she was feeling wasn"t any of those.

It was sadness. She was sad. And now, she wanted to throw herself a pity party.

For a few stupid weeks, she had allowed hope to burrow itself inside of her and slowly grow, all because she had once again been stupid enough to trust a man. He had returned, time and again, fulfilling all of her dreams, giving her pleasure she had never imagined, and then he had promised to give her the one thing she had always wanted...

Only to have it revealed, against his will, that he had been keeping a huge secret from her. A secret that would affect not only her, but also a child, if he hadn"t informed her before impregnating her. And oh God, they had fucked the night before, and it was time for her to take her birth control, and the damn pill was sitting at her house, while she was stuck in a cabin with him, unable to do anything other than feel pitiful.

She had to cross in front of the fireplace to go to the bathroom, and she made her way there quickly, shutting the door behind herself. There was no lock, so she had to be quick in doing her business so she could return back upstairs and resume thinking about whatever the hell was going on, and what she was going to do about it.

Only, as she opened the door to the bathroom to walk out, she clearly hadn"t been quick enough. Cedric stood on the other side of the door, a concerned look on his face. He took a deep breath to speak, only to suddenly stiffen, and take another deep breath.

Amazing. He was sniffing her.

"Fuck, didn"t think it would work so..."

"What?" she asked, her stomach flipping in worry at what he was about to say. "What is it? What worked?"

"Nothing," he said with a shake of his head. "It"s a bear thing. With female, they have to grow used to our scent before mating happens. I think you"re finally used to me being around like I am. It"s why sex gets better every time. That first night, you weren"t ready to take me, or at least, not take all of me. That"s why you were hurting so bad."

So many words that she couldn"t understand, and none of them words she was actually interested in hearing.

Was she in shock? That had to be it. She was in shock. And now, she didn"t know what to do, how to step around him, or where to go from there.

"Sunshine... Bethany. I know you probably have a thousand questions, and I"ll answer all of them, but to be honest, I still hadn"t figured out what I was even going to say when I told you, and... fuck, if you want to go, we should probably leave soon. The sky is starting to look real grey out there, and if you need time to think about this, I understand, but I don"t want you to feel trapped out here with me."

Go... home? He was willing to take her home? But—

"You kidnapped me, remember," she said slowly, careful to not have any bite in her words. "That means I can"t just leave if I want to."

"Fuck, you know you"re not a hostage, Sunshine. I"ll take you back if you want to go back. This... it was crazy for me to even think I deserved to have you out here with me, I know that, and it was a big secret, and I"m fucking this all up even worse, but—"

"What am I to you?" she asked, finally looking up at him and meeting his eyes. "If I"m not your hostage, then what am I? What is this?"

"Fuck, I don"t know—" he began, but she shook her head, cutting him off.

"No. Don"t say that. What is this? You want to have a baby with me, but didn"t know how to tell me you were a freaking bear. That"s freaking... crazy! I feel crazy, Cedric! I"m... what are we doing? We"re in your cabin and you"re a bear and I don"t have my birth control and we both... got caught up in the moment or something, or—"

She was yelling, she realized, and cut herself off. Why was she even yelling? Did she mean what she said? Was she caught up in the moment, or just... dickmatized.

Fuck, yes, she was dickmatized, and she had grown used to his bear scent or some garbage like that, and now....

"Bears don"t have soulmates," Cedric finally said, cutting through the silence with his barely whispered words. "They... they mate for a while and then they move on. That"s... that"s all I ever expected from life."

Something inside of her shattered, and she opened her mouth to speak, only no words passed her lips, giving Cedric time to continue.

"I don"t know what this is. I never expected anything like this in my life. But I know my life is better with you in it, Sunshine. I"ll only take what you"re willing to give, and if you"re done with me, I"ll take you back into town."

Was she done with him? Was she ready to end this now?

"I... I need to lay down," she finally said, shaking her head slightly. "I need to think."

"The storm outside—" he began, and she shook her head again while turning to head upstairs.

"I need to think. Give me... give me a few hours."

"You might not—"

Was she asking for time to think, or was she looking for an excuse to force her to stay?

"I need time. A few hours. And if the storm gets worse, then it is what it is. You"ll be stuck with me."

She half expected him to call her out on it, to point out that she wanted to stay, because she was pretty sure that was what her words meant, but in truth, she...

No. The truth was, she did want to stay. She wanted more. She wanted...

To cry. She wanted to cry.

But instead, she climbed the stairs and crawled back into bed, covering herself in the blankets. Her heart was pounding in her chest, and she waited to hear the sound of his footsteps on the stairs, only...

He groaned down below, and she heard the creak of his couch, telling her that he was giving her the space she was asking for.

She wanted to call down to him, to tell him she was cold, to ask him to warm her up, but he was still naked, and she was in only his shirt, and if she touched him again, she would end up climbing him.

So instead, she stayed silent, and tried to figure out her plans.

When she got out of the bed, she was going to.... to...

She was going to kill Cordelia.

And probably cry.