Chapter 22

22

H e had deflected.

Staring out over the loch as Thalia sipped her wine, he felt the weight of his past pressing down on him like it always did when he let his guard down. The threats from her uncle loomed, but there were other things, deeper things, things that he hadn’t shared with anyone that also followed him.

“Come,” Finn said, standing up and offering her his hand. She took it after setting down her empty glass, and he relished in the warmth of her soft hand against his calloused palm.

“Where are we doing?” she asked though he had a sense that she wasn’t truly concerned as he led her through the trees.

“Ye will see,” he answered, his lips twitching in the barest hint of a smile. He knew just the place. It had been his sanctuary for years.

The only sound was the crunch of her footsteps as she trustingly followed him through the woods.

“I ken that if ye were a fawn, ye wouldn’t make it through your first season. Nae with how ye clod through here, lass,” he teased and clicked his tongue before deftly dodging her chastising swat that she aimed at his biceps.

“I do not clod — whatever that is supposed to mean. Ladies don’t clod,” she said and lifted her chin, to guide her next few gliding steps. Finn watched on, fighting a grin.

She truly is beautiful.

“Whatever ye say, lass.”

The air grew cooler as they neared their destination, and as soon as the familiar rush of water filled his ears, he stepped to the side and let Thalia step out before him.

He watched tentatively as Thalia’s breath caught. “It’s… stunning,” she murmured, her wide eyes taking in the scene.

The trees had cleared and opened to a waterfall that spilled over a rocky ledge onto large boulders in the middle of a clear pool. This had always been a place of peace and quiet for him. A place where he could be alone with his thoughts, but seeing it through Thalia’s eyes, he could appreciate the beauty of it again.

“I thought ye might like it,” he said, trying to shake off the heaviness in his chest. “It’s one of the few places around here where I can think.”

She sat down on a smooth rock by the edge of the pool, and he crouched down beside her, dipping his fingers into the cool water. He should have felt peace here like he usually did, but tonight, his thoughts were too tangled, too heavy. He could feel her watching him, waiting.

“I’ve not ever seen anything like this,” she said softly.

“There is a lot ye havenae seen about me, Thalia.”

Her eyes softened. “Then show me. I want to know.”

The words hit him like a punch. He wasn’t used to anyone wanting to know him — really know him. It was easier to keep people away, to keep his past locked behind walls. But with her it was different. He sat down next to her, feeling the weight of his past pressing down on him as he prepared to speak.

“Ye asked me once about the scars,” he began, his voice rougher than he intended. “I told ye they were from the war, but I never told ye what happened. What it cost.”

Her eyes were steady on him. He had never spoken about this to anyone, not even Cillian.

“Me family,” Finn continued, his voice barely above a whisper. “I lost them all. Me maither, brothers, and me faither. They were killed by Clan McEwan. We fought them all in the five-years, and by the end, there was nothing left. Not them, not the land we fought for, not even me.”

Thalia stayed quiet, her expression open and calm which made it almost harder to bear.

“I was barely a lad when it started, but by the time it ended, I’d seen more death than anyone should.” His hands clenched into tight fists, the old anger flaring inside him. “I was made to watch them die, one by one. And when it was over, I thought I’d die too. I wanted to, even, but I didn’t. Somehow, for some reason, I survived.”

He looked away, not wanting to see any pity in her eyes or the weight of her sympathy. But instead of saying anything, she simply reached out and took his hand. Her touch was somehow softer than he had ever felt before, gentle even, and the tension in his body started to ease.

“How did you go on after that?”

“I dinnae wish to,” he admitted. “But before me faither died, he made me swear on his deathbed that I’d continue our line. That I’d marry and provide an heir for the clan.”

He could feel her gaze on him, but he kept his eyes on the water, unable to face her yet. “That vow haunts me. It’s why I made the deal with ye in the first place. But even then… I never thought…” he trailed off, his voice faltering.

The silence stretched between them, filled only by the sound of the rushing waterfall. He wanted to say more.

How could I explain what I’m feeling? She’s become more than just a stupid deal.

When he turned to look at her, she was truly looking at him. It wasn’t pity. She wasn’t looking at him like he was broken or damaged, but she was understanding.

“My father made me vow to keep the family together, at any cost.” Thalia said finally, breaking the thick silence, her eyes never leaving his. “Everything I do and have done — it’s because I promised him that I would.”

“Aye, duty,” he said and nodded his head, trying to not feel slighted with rejection.

“You are alive for a reason, Finn,” she whispered, her voice gentle. “And I’m glad that you are.”

He didn’t know what to say or how to respond, but before he could even think, she leaned in and kissed him.

It was soft, tentative, like she wasn’t sure he would kiss her back. But Finn did not hesitate. The moment her lips touched his, something inside of him broke open, and he kissed her back with a fierceness that surprised even him.

He pulled her closer, his hand sliding to the back of her head as the kiss deepened. It was nothing like the moments they shared before. It was demanded, but there was a tenderness to it.

When they finally pulled apart, Finn was breathing hard, his heart racing. He stared at Thalia, his lips tingling, and for the first time in years, he didn’t feel the weight of his vow and past pressing down on him.

An idea tugged at him, and the sounds of the water filled the air around them.

“Come on, lass,” he said as he unhooked the clasps of his jacket, tugged his boots off, and slid into the water.

The water was cold — far colder than Finn had anticipated — but the refreshing bite of it against his heated skin was exactly what he needed. It helped calm the fire that had been burning in his chest after breaking away from that kiss. The waterfall crashed down beside them, its roar filling the air, and Thalia stood at the edge of the pool, dipping her toes in the water and giggling at the chill.

“Ye scared?” he teased, watching her from the waist-deep water.

Her green eyes shot up to meet his, a defiant flint sparking in them. “Not scared,” she insisted. “Just… testing it.”

He chuckled, the sound rolling deep from his chest. “Oh aye, well, ye will never ken if ye stay at the edge.”

Thalia narrowed her eyes at him, clearly not one to back down from a challenge. She took a breath and then waded in, gasping as the cold hit her legs then her waist. Her breath quickened, and Finn couldn’t help but laugh at her wide-eyed expression.

“It’s freezing!” she yelped, holding her arms tightly across her chest as if it would help keep her warm.

“Ye will get used to it,” Finn said, moving closer. The truth was he wasn’t sure she would, but he didn’t mind. She was already in, and for a moment, it was just the two of them, free from expectations.

“I’ve never done this before,” she admitted, hesitating slightly as the water reached her waist. “Swimming, I mean.”

“Nay?” Finn raised a brow, moving closer until he stood right in front of her. “Ye mean to tell me ye have nae ever swam before?”

She shook her head, a shy smile tugging at her lips. “There wasn’t exactly a lot of water to swim in around the estate.”

He smirked, finding her inexperience endearing, and reached out his head. “I’ll teach ye.”

Thalia hesitated only for a moment before taking his hand. Her fingers were cold, but as she stepped closer, her body pressed against his, and despite the freezing water, he felt a different kind of heat — a warmth that seemed to radiate from her and spread through him.

His arm circled around her waist as he brought her deeper into the water, feeling her shiver slightly. “Relax,” he murmured, his breath hot against her ear. “We will have ye float first. Just trust me.”

“I do,” she whispered, her voice soft but certain.

Those two words sank deep into him. Trust. It was something he didn’t take lightly, something he had never thought he would deserve again after all that had happened. But Thalia trusted him, and it stirred something inside him.

He gently and silently guided her, positioning her body to float. His hands steadied beneath her back as he supported her weight. “Let the water hold ye,” he instructed. “Ye daenae have to fight it.”

Her body was tense at first, her muscles tight as she tried to keep herself afloat. But gradually, she began to relax, her body softening in his arms, her head tipping back as she let out a soft, breathy laugh.

“I’m doing it,” she said, her eyes wide with wonder.

“Aye,” Finn said, his voice rougher than intended. “Aye ye are.”

She looked up at him, the green eyes that haunted his dreams were now mixed with excitement and something else. Something that made his chest tighten.

What is she thinkin’?

After a few moments of floating, she shifted in the water to stand again, her hands gripping his shoulders for balance. “That wasn’t so bad,” she said, smiling up at him.

“Aye, nae bad at all, lass,” he murmured, his gaze locking on hers.

They stood there for a moment, their bodies close, the cold water forgotten as the air between them thickened with unspoken tension. Finn’s hands still rested on her waist, his fingers tightening slightly, and Thalia didn’t pull away. Instead, she stepped even closer, her chest brushing against his, her lips parting as her breath came quicker.

The water lapped around them, but Finn barely noticed it. His attention was entirely on Thalia — on the way her lips trembled slightly, on the heat that radiated from her skin despite the cold. Without thinking, he pulled her closer, his hand sliding up her back as his other arm wrapped around her waist, holding her against him.

Thalia’s hands gripped his shoulders, her fingers digging into him as she leaned in, her breath ghosting over his lips. Finn’s cock twitched, and before he could stop himself, he lowered his mouth to hers.

The heat between them flared instantly. Their kiss was harder and deeper, his hand tangling in her wet hair as he pulled her somehow even closer. Thalia responded in kind, her body pressing against his, her fingers curling into his shoulders as she kissed him back with equal fervor.

The water around them seemed to disappear, the world narrowing. The heat of her body and the taste of her lips was all that he could focus on. Finn’s hand slid down her back, his fingers brushing over the curve of her hip as he deepened the kiss, and Thalia let out a soft, breathy moan that sent a jolt of desire through him.

He pulled away and stood there, reining in the blood rushing down to his groin. “Thalia,” he rasped, his voice rough with need.

She looked up at him, her eyes dark and full of need burning through him. Without a word, she reached up and touched his face, her fingers trailing over the scars that marred his skin.

Finn tensed at the touch, instinctively wanting to pull away, but her touch was gentle as she traced the lines of the scars down his cheek. Then lower, over his chest, where the deeper scars were. She leaned into his chest and surprisingly pressed her lips to one of the scars, her kiss soft and tender. Finn stood motionless.

“Ye daenae…” he began, but Thalia silenced him with another kiss, her lips moving over his scars with a tenderness that nearly undid him.

“Let me. Trust me,” she whispered, her voice soft but firm. Brushing over the length of each one as if she were trying to heal the wounds beneath, all Finn could think about was her lips on him, and his arousal pressed hard against his pants.

The heat between them continued to grow as one of her hands slid down his torso and hooked into the hem of his pants. His core tightened as she flattened her palm against his naval and continued to slide her hand down past his belt.

“Oh, Christ —” he managed to grit out as her warm hand encircled his rock-hard length.

His hands moved over her body, caressing her curves as she moved her hand up and down his throbbing arousal. He let out a rough growl and then gripped her chin, tilting her head back, her neck long, her eyes piercing, and her hand stopped moving.

Before he knew it, they were out of the water, their wet clothes clinging to their bodies as they stumbled onto the soft grass by the edge of the pool. Finn’s hands were everywhere — on her waist, on her hips, her thighs — as he kissed her with a hunger that was foreign to him.

Thalia gasped as he kissed down her neck, his lips trailing over her skin, and her hands fumbled at the hem of her wet dress, trying to pull it off. Finn helped her, his hands tugging the fabric over her head and tossing is aside, leaving her bare before him.

For a moment, he just stared at her, his breath catching in his throat.

Christ, she is —

The sight of her, naked and vulnerable, sent a current of need surging through him.

He didn’t waste any time. His mouth found hers again as he kissed her deeply, his hands sliding over her bare skin. Thalia moaned deliciously into his mouth, her fingers tangling in his hair as she kissed him back.

Finn’s hands roamed lower, over her hips and thighs until they found the heat between her legs. Thalia gasped at the touch, her body arching into him, and Finn growled low in this throat, the sound rough and primal.

He kissed his way down her body, his lips trailing over her skin, tasting her, worshiping her. Thalia’s breath came in quick, shallow gasps, her hands gripping his shoulders as he kissed her lower, until his mouth found the place where she needed him most.

Thalia cried out softly, her fingers digging into his skin as his mouth moved over her folds, his tongue teasing and tasting her sweet nectar. He groaned at the taste of her arousal, slick with need for him and throbbing — his desire growing with every gasp and moan that escaped her lips.

Her body started to tremble beneath him, her hips moving against his mouth as she neared the edge, begging for him to keep going. “Don’t stop, oh — my —” she managed to get out until he pressed his tongue against her firmly and then pulled back, suckling her bud of nerves softly.

She was crying out his name in waves, her body arching and twisting as she started to come, writhing in his grip. He tightened his hold around her thighs and was relentless as he toyed with her clit between his lips, urging for her to let go.

“Thalia,” he moaned against her heat. She whimpered a response.

“Give me what is mine,” he said as he slid a finger and then another inside of her, thrusting against her walls until she finally came undone, crashing into his mouth and hand, wave after wave of relief and desire pouring through her.