Chapter Seven

M orwenna straightened her yellow dress, although she suspected anyone who saw her must guess just what she’d been doing in the breakfast room. She took Robert’s hand. Odd to think that last night, she’d been afraid to touch him. Now it seemed as natural as breathing. More natural, in fact, than it had when they’d been together after their marriage. Then she’d been so young and uncertain. Not uncertain of her love, but uncertain that she was a worthy wife to such a superior creature as Robert Nash, naval hero, London gentleman, and brother to a lord.

Now none of those worldly things mattered. What mattered was that she loved him, and he’d suffered so much, and her presence calmed the devils she saw in his eyes when he thought she wasn’t watching.

“Come with me.”

He followed with alacrity. “Are you taking me upstairs to have your wicked way with me?”

She regarded him in surprise. Not at the suggestion. Despite that shuddering encounter that left her weak-kneed and breathless, hunger still hummed about him. If she set out to seduce him, she knew he’d cooperate.

No, she was surprised because what he said almost sounded like the teasing, laughing man she’d married. He wasn’t smiling, but the fraught air was absent. While not exactly at ease, he no longer seemed likely to shatter into a million pieces at the first provocation.

“You have to go to the Admiralty. And I need to tell you about Kerenza.” She crossed to unlock the door, feeling the pull on well-used muscles with every step. “But when you have time, I’m at your disposal.”

“Morwenna?” He sounded dazed. His steps slowed, and his hand tightened on hers.

She turned her head and cast him a searching look. “You’re not the only one who has missed conjugal relations, Robert.”

A spark lit his black eyes, and he pulled his hand free. There was a different quality in his curiosity as he studied her. “You’ve changed.”

Her lips flattened. “Of course I have. I’m older. I’ve had a child. Not to mention that I spent an eternity alone and grieving for you.”

He took her hand again. The ease of the gesture proved anew that he emerged from the frozen wastes where his soul had wandered for so long. “I wasn’t sure at first, you know.”

“That I’d grieved for you?”

“Yes.”

She looked at him aghast. “Oh, Robert...”

He directed a burning stare at her. “Do you love Garson?”

“You know I don’t.”

“Then why did you agree to marry him?”

Morwenna blinked back stinging tears. She wasn’t sure she was up to handling this inquisition so soon after succumbing to that stupendous climax. All her emotions ranged far too close to the surface, and she feared saying something to bring the bleakness back to Robert’s eyes. She recalled the frightening blankness in his face as he braced himself to tell the family what had happened to him in South America. She never wanted to see that expression again.

Sucking in a breath, she made herself answer. “Because it has been five wretched, empty years without you. Because Kerenza needs a father. Because while I might have felt like I died with you, I didn’t, and I’m only twenty-six. Because Garson’s a good man. Since you’ve been gone, I’ve lived in isolation, apart from when your family dragged me out into the open. But this season, when Sally Cowan suggested a second round of Dashing Widows, I decided it was time to be brave and rejoin the world. For Kerenza’s sake, more than my own.”

She braced for Robert to express his disappointment in her lack of steadfastness. But after a weighty pause, he nodded. “I understand.”

“Do you?”

“Yes.” That spark, a distant echo of his old laughter, flickered in his eyes. “Which doesn’t mean I won’t knock Garson’s block off, if he dares so much as a blink in your direction.”

She smiled. It might be childish, but she liked to hear that Robert felt possessive about her. Because the fact was that she felt possessive about him.

“Were there...were there women?” she asked, as they stepped into a hall tactfully devoid of all other Nashes.

“No.”

They started to climb the stairs. “I can accept if there were.”

He arched his eyebrows. “Can you?”

No. “If I must.”

“You don’t have to. Even if I was interested, and I wasn’t, I was kept in solitary confinement. And there were no women on the whaler.”

At least she needn’t pretend to tolerate the thought of him seeking comfort elsewhere. Although given what he’d been through, he’d desperately needed a woman’s tender touch to lighten his suffering. “Then no wonder you have such a powerful appetite.”

They’d reached the landing. Before she could turn toward her room, he swung her around and kissed her so fiercely that he stole her breath.

The kiss was over in one blazing instant. A thrill rippled through her, and her heart pounded madly against her ribs. Dazzled, giddy, she stared up at him. His black eyes glittered dangerously, and the slash across his face stood out white against his skin.

She placed her hands on his chest to confirm that he really was with her. It still seemed like his return was a dream, even now when relentless hands gripped her hips and his tongue had just been inside her mouth.

“I have a powerful appetite, all right.” His voice was almost savage. “A powerful appetite for you, Morwenna.”

“Oh,” she said, as a warm bubble of happiness rose to fill her chest and squash the possibility of further response. Instead, she took his hand and led him into the room where last night he had seemed such a stranger.

She hadn’t yet solved all his mysteries, but she began to feel that he wasn’t a stranger anymore. One thing was certain. The man she loved had come back to her.

Once they were safely inside, she shut the door and rose on her toes to press a kiss to his lips. This kiss was more thorough, and it left her head swimming and her knees weak. She curled her hand over his shoulder to keep her balance.

“I feel like I need to get to know you all over again,” he said slowly.

Something in his tone pierced her rising excitement. “Are you sorry I’m not as you remember?”

His hand cupped the side of her face, and for the first time since he’d come back, tenderness rather than desire was paramount in his expression. “You are as I remember you— beautiful and fascinating. But you’ve changed, too. In so many intriguing ways. I look forward to discovering the differences.”

That bubble of happiness expanded, threatened to break free and fill the entire world. Last night, it had been miracle enough that he was alive. But their growing closeness was a gift beyond her dearest dreams.

“Me, too.”

He kissed her again, softly. “Tell me about Kerenza. I’m agog to hear of my daughter.” He drew Morwenna to sit beside him on the brocade sofa near the blazing fire. “You didn’t say you’d conceived.”

She shook her head. “I didn’t know until a couple of months after you’d gone. I wrote, but I knew you hadn’t got the news because the letters weren’t amongst the effects we received back from the ship.”

Morwenna stopped to push back a wave of painful emotion. He might have returned to her, but the shadow of losing him lingered. Speaking of this swept her back to the black days when she’d wished herself dead and with Robert, despite the child growing in her womb.

“Those letters must be lost in the Admiralty somewhere.”

“Perhaps you should ask when you’re there.” She started to rise, remembering that he had other commitments beyond those he owed to her. “Should we do this later, once you’ve made your report?”

“That can wait. This is more important.” He pulled her down beside him and curled his arm around her shoulders. She leaned back, drawing strength from his touch. “I should tell you that I’m going to resign my captaincy.”

She stiffened and sat up to stare at him in consternation. “The navy is your life.”

“Not anymore. I’ve come home now, and I intend to stay. Can you bear the thought of a husband under your feet instead of away at sea?”

Bear it? She wanted it more than words could say. “Of course I can. And Kerenza will be in alt to have her papa living with us.”

“I hope so.” Then in a low, sad voice, “I’ve already missed so much.”

Tears pricked her eyes. Bitter, acid tears like those she’d barely contained when listening in wordless horror to what he’d told the family. It was less than a full day since he’d come back, and she already felt like she’d lived through a lifetime of overwhelming emotion.

Now this opportunity to tell him about their child was painful and joyful in equal measure. She’d never imagined Robert would have a chance to know the mercurial, affectionate, scarily intelligent little being created from their love.

To hide how overcome she was, Morwenna rose and crossed to her dressing table. Last night, instinct had warned her not to drown him in emotion. He looked more human now, and less like a ghost. But she feared the slightest mishandling might put his fragile recovery at risk.

She lifted the leather case that sat open near her hairbrushes, so she saw its contents last thing at night and first thing in the morning. Another leather case stood on the facing side. Another leather case she looked at morning and night.

Only a day ago, she’d made herself put the second case away in a drawer as a gesture toward her new life. This morning, as hope and thankfulness flooded her heart, she’d replaced it in its familiar spot.

She hoped Robert didn’t notice how she fumbled. Her eyes were so full of tears, it was difficult to see what she did. How she grieved to think of everything he’d missed while he’d been alone and wretched and in pain.

With a shaking hand, she held out the first case, open to reveal the two miniatures inside. “This is Kerenza.”