15. Aidan

15

AIDAN

T he next day, Aidan crouched and hugged Walt goodbye on Aunt Leticia’s front porch, while Uncle Simon looked on, a fond smile on his face.

“You have to go,” Walt said a little sadly. “So you can’t help us make cookies.”

“Not today,” Aidan told him. “I have to run some secret Christmas errands. But I’ll be back as soon as I’m done.”

“And you won’t be lonely because Kenzie will help you,” Walt supplied, sounding more cheerful.

“Yeah,” Aidan said, nodding. “She’ll be there.”

He pointedly didn’t look up at his uncle, who was surely having some kind of feeling about him taking Kenzie out.

I’m not taking her out, exactly…

“See you when I’m done,” he told Walt.

“Have fun, kiddo,” Uncle Simon said with a funny little smile as they waved goodbye .

Aidan jogged down the steps to his truck, trying not to be annoyed at that smile.

He hadn’t really dated much after Sharon left, and he was even less interested since she had shown him her true colors, prioritizing her new baby over Walt.

What would even be the point of him dating? He clearly had terrible judgement, and if he couldn’t keep Sharon around, why would he be able to stick with anyone else?

Heading through the countryside all alone, he had too much time to dwell on stuff like that. He switched on the radio for some Christmas music, and he couldn’t help feeling a little better when snow flurries began to fall. Aidan had always loved Christmas. He and his parents had spent a ton of time with the cousins around the holidays. He’d always been so certain he would have a big family of his own one day.

But the joke was on him. His family of two was even smaller than the small family he’d resented as a kid.

Walt seemed happy enough for now. But when he was old enough to notice that most of his friends had two parents and at least a sibling or two, he would be looking at Aidan and wondering why the two of them were all alone.

We’ve got our broken ballerina, he thought to himself. For now.

He honestly wasn’t sure what he’d been thinking even taking her to Cassidy Farm yesterday. Scheduling time to go out with her alone was probably madness, especially when it had taken all his determination not to kiss her yesterday when he’d given her those poinsettias .

But seeing the world through her eyes was addicting. She was so sweet and though he knew she was in her late twenties, and very capable, there was an innocence to her that tugged at his heartstrings.

Even Walt was completely mesmerized. Aidan adored the way she spoke to his son, like he wasn’t a little kid at all, but a treasured friend and confidante.

A real date would have been a better idea, he told himself inwardly.

But a real date would have put pressure on, and he would have choked. Or worse, it would have given her the wrong idea. After all, he wasn’t going to get married again. And a sweet, young girl like Kenzie would want to get married and have children of her own one day, once her dance career was over.

If they were just friends, then he couldn’t screw it up. And when she was feeling better, she wouldn’t feel bad about leaving again to pursue her dreams.

And if she doesn’t get better, then maybe we could try dating…

He couldn’t bring himself to hope she wouldn’t be able to dance again. Even seeing those brief moments of her moving at the barre had opened his eyes to who she really was.

Kenzie was an ethereal creature—part ballerina, part angel, and all intended to be shared with the world. For him to try and keep her here, and extinguish her light with his shadows—that would be the worst kind of crime.

Too soon, he was pulling into her drive .

Get your head together, he told himself sternly. Don’t be weird with her. Show her you just want to be friends.

Yesterday hadn’t been magical because he’d wanted to kiss her. It had been magical because he’d felt like himself for the first time in a long, long time.

And at the end of the day, he wasn’t an animal. He could control his desire to kiss her.

He parked and headed back to the family room.

“Hey, Aidan,” she said, opening the door before he could knock. “Where are we going?”

“I was thinking the mall,” he said. “I need to pick up one or two things for Walt that they don’t have at the toy store in town.”

“Yes,” she said, her eyes lighting up.

He felt himself smile too, as if her joy was contagious.

“Okay, then,” he told her.

“I haven’t been to the mall since I was a teenager,” she said as they headed to the truck. “I love all the decorations they used to do.”

“They still do,” he told her, finding himself actually excited to go to the mall for the first time in his adult life. “Wait until you see the ones in the plaza.”

He helped her carefully into her seat, taking the crutches for her and offering her his hand.

It was silly, but he couldn’t wait to lift her out again when they got to the mall. Having her in his arms, even for a second, was thrilling.

Stop thinking about it.

“I’ve been using the barres,” she said as soon as he started the truck. “They’re really wonderful. I’m feeling more like myself now that I can move, at least a little, and keep an eye on my upper body technique.”

“That’s great,” he told her, meaning it. “How’s your leg doing?”

“It hurt a lot at first,” she said, shrugging, her eyes going to the window. “It’s just a matter of waiting now, and doing my exercises. When I get the boot off, I’ll know more.”

He felt a pang, imagining what it would be like not to know if all your dreams were about to end.

“It’s nice having some free time though,” she told him. “I’m trying to remember that this is basically a vacation.”

“We’ll have some fun today,” he told her. “Even if it’s just Christmas shopping.”

“Hey, can we stop at the library on the way?” she asked. “I wanted to adopt a family from the tree, and before a mall trip is the perfect time for that.”

He glanced over at her, surprised. The Trinity Falls library always had a beautiful Christmas tree with paper ornaments on it that you could take. Each one had a number on it, corresponding to the number of people in a family and when you unfolded it, there was a list of what the kids liked and their sizes. You bought the gifts, wrapped them, and then brought them back to the library to be distributed.

It was a lovely tradition, but he didn’t expect Kenzie to be involved with it. From what he understood, dancers didn’t exactly make a good enough living to pay for other families’ Christmas presents.

“I like buying toys and clothes for kids,” she said, shrugging and looking embarrassed. “Since I don’t have any of my own.”

His heart squeezed suddenly, and it was all he could do to keep driving. Of course it made her sad not to have children. Her career meant a sacrifice she had probably been too young to understand when she first made the choice to pursue it.

“Most female dancers can’t really have children until they retire,” she said. “And sometimes, that’s too late. I normally try not to think about it. But around the holidays…”

She trailed off and he pointedly kept his eyes on the road, hoping she would keep talking.

“Sorry,” she said. “You don’t want to hear about all this.”

“It’s okay,” he told her. “I sort of wondered, with you being an athlete and all.”

“Yeah, you have a limited time in your life when you can dance professionally,” she said. “It’s kind of sad, but it’s also what makes it special, knowing that it’s finite.”

Was that what made his time with her so special? Somehow he didn’t think so.

“What do you guys do when you realize you’ll be retiring?” he asked her.

“Some of my friends are taking college classes online,” she said. “My parents offered to help with that, but I don’t really know what I would do outside of dance. Maybe teach ballet?”

“Would it make you sad?” he heard himself ask reflexively .

“I don’t think so,” she told him, a thoughtful smile on her face. “And I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately.”

“Then it’s a great idea,” he told her. “You could be just like your grandmother.”

She turned to him with a surprised smile.

“What?” he asked.

“Oh, nothing,” she said. “When did you decide you wanted to be a carpenter?”

“I’m not really sure,” he admitted, surprised by the question.

“You don’t know?” she asked.

“People aren’t exactly fascinated with my job the way they are with yours,” he said, chuckling.

“Did you have other jobs in mind?” she asked.

“No,” he told her. “When I was really little, my Uncle Simon used to let me help out with his woodworking projects, and I loved it. I think I just knew then. It was like there was never really a choice.”

“Me too,” she told him with a smile. “I can’t remember a time when I wasn’t dancing. I loved it from the very beginning.”

He nodded, smiling as he pulled into the library parking lot.

“What about Walt?” she asked. “What does he love?”

“He loves stories,” Aidan said as he parked. “And he loves running around.”

“I’m sure he can make a career out of those things,” Kenzie said.

Aidan heard himself chuckling again as he cut the engine and turned to her.

“I mean it,” Kenzie said. “How different is that from what I do? Telling stories by running around a lot?”

Suddenly, the look on her face was uncertain.

“What?” he asked.

“I guess some men don’t want their sons to be dancers,” she said, looking away.

“I’m not that kind of man,” he told her firmly. “I’d love it if Walt had a hobby where he could let off some steam.”

“He was really interested in those ballet books, Aidan,” she told him, her eyes lighting up.

“Yeah?” Aidan asked, searching himself for any kind of objection, and not finding one.

“Just think about it,” Kenzie told him. “Grandma Lee has a preschool class, and it’s so much fun. I was in it when I was little, and I helped her teach it when I was in school.”

“I remember when Coach had some of the guys from the team take ballet with her,” he said thoughtfully.

“Ballet is supposed to be great for football,” Kenzie said. “Though I don’t understand football enough to know why. Should we go in?”

“Why don’t I just run in?” he suggested.

“Oh, right,” she said. “I guess it will be faster. Can you get one with at least a three on it?”

“Sure,” he told her.

He headed inside, giving Miss Caroline a wave as he passed the children’s section.

“Aidan Webb, didn’t you take enough of those already?” Helen demanded from the main desk as he grabbed an ornament from the tree.

“This one is for a friend,” he said with a smile .

“Well, maybe your friend can help you wrap yours,” Helen suggested, arching a brow.

“Sorry about that,” Aidan said, wincing. He had never been the best at wrapping gifts neatly.

“Oh, heavens. You know I’m only joking,” Helen told him. “You’re very generous with these families.”

He’d lost his own parents, and though he hadn’t been a child when it happened, it had hurt him profoundly. It was hard not to be generous with others who were going through hard times. But that wasn’t the kind of thing he said out loud, so he waved to her and headed out to the parking lot again.

Kenzie was waiting with a smile when he got back in.

“That was quick,” she said as he handed over the ornament. “Just three, huh?”

He didn’t want to say out loud that she had better save her money in case she wasn’t going back to work after all.

“That one spoke to me for some reason,” he said instead, pulling the truck out of the lot and heading for Ambler Road.

She got quiet as she unfolded the paper.

“Oh, wow,” she said after a moment. “I got two kids, and their mom.”

“That’s great, Kenzie,” he told her.

“It must be so hard to be a single parent,” she said, shaking her head, then covered her mouth immediately. “I’m so sorry, Aidan, I didn’t mean to offend you.”

“It is hard,” he told her right away. “You’re not wrong. I’ve got my aunt and uncle and my cousins and a good job, so it’s not so bad for me. But there are so many single parent families that really struggle. ”

“I’m going to give this lady and her kids the best Christmas ever,” Kenzie said happily.

They finished their drive to the mall in relative silence. Whenever he snuck a glance over at her, Kenzie was gazing down at the paper like she was trying to memorize everything on it.

Aidan found a miraculously great parking spot, close to the entrance in spite of the crowds, and pulled in.

“Here we are,” he said as he opened his door.

He liked the way she waited this time, without even making a move to get herself out while he headed around the car to open her door.

When he lifted her out, he swore she was holding her breath.

“Everything okay?” he asked, setting her gently on the ground and wishing immediately that she was in his arms again.

“Fine,” she said a little breathlessly.

He nodded and grabbed her crutches, handing them to her and watching as she gamely swung herself along beside him.

“I guess that hurts after a while,” he said, looking at the crutches.

“I’m sort of used to a certain amount of physical pain,” she said, shaking her head. “And I’m glad I can get around again. This is going to be so awesome.”

They headed in through the main entrance, Aidan feeling a lightness in his step that he hadn’t even noticed had been missing.