12. Aidan

12

AIDAN

A idan drove back into town the next day, thinking about Kenzie Forrest as Walt repeatedly sang the chorus of “Jingle Bells,” his sweet, husky voice carrying forward from the back seat.

Things were going just fine, and Aidan was looking forward to the holiday with his cousins. Walt was sure to love the traditional activities around town and the chance to get so much attention from the great big Webb clan.

Aidan knew he should be excited, but was feeling a little down for some reason.

It was partly that big job in the city that he wasn’t doing, and the irrational fear he got whenever a job was postponed or canceled that maybe his success was about to dry up. But he had enough savings tucked away to know that they would be just fine.

You’re down because it’s your last day working for Kenzie , a little voice in the back of his head reminded him. You won’t have any excuse to see her after this, unless you actually ask her out .

And he obviously wasn’t going to ask her out. He wasn’t looking for a relationship, and even if he was, she was going to fly back to New York the minute that boot was off.

I really need a social life, he thought to himself. When this job is done, maybe I’ll see if the guys want to shoot some hoops or go to the movies or whatever people do with their friends.

Aidan had never been the type to instigate social activities, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t start. He wanted to set a good example for Walt anyway.

“How’re you doing back there, bud?” he asked the boy, who had finished his version of “Jingle Bells” and begun one Aidan had never heard before that seemed to be about pirates.

“I’m going to Aunt Anna’s house?” Walt asked suddenly.

“Yes, do you like it there?” Aidan asked. “Do you like your great-aunt Anna?”

“She has cookies,” Walt said right away.

“Ah,” Aidan said, smiling. “She does love to bake cookies.”

Walt got quiet and when Aidan glanced in the rearview mirror he saw the boy looking out the window, his little mouth moving like he was murmuring something to himself.

“Are you singing something?” Aidan asked him. “That last one you were singing was a new song for me.”

“I’m not singing,” Walt said firmly.

“Okay,” Aidan said, leaving the boy to his own devices, since he seemed content .

Parenting was a roller coaster for Aidan. Sometimes it felt like he was nailing it, and other times Walt was so mysterious that Aidan wasn’t sure what was going on. It was all part of him getting older, Aidan supposed. He was starting to get a lot of his own thoughts and ideas that Aidan hadn’t put in his head.

They had just turned onto Ambler and were approaching the village when Aidan’s phone rang.

“Anna Webb,” the car speaker announced.

Walt immediately began chuckling. There was something about the robotic voice that really tickled him.

“Hi, Aunt Anna,” Aidan said. “You’re on speaker.”

“Hello boys,” Anna said, her voice weak and dry. “I just wanted to let you know that I’m not feeling so hot this morning.”

“I’m so sorry to hear that,” Aidan said.

“I can still watch Walt, if you need me,” she went on. “But I’d hate for you all to catch this.”

“We’ll be just fine, Aunt Anna,” Aidan told her firmly. “You should get some rest.”

“Are you sure?” she asked, sounding relieved.

“Very sure,” he told her, trying not to let himself worry about what he was going to do with Walt. “I’m stopping by the Co-op and the pharmacy for a few things for Aunt Leticia today. What can I grab for you?”

“You are as sweet as you were when you were a little boy,” Anna said fondly. “But I’m just fine, love. Nothing the chicken soup I’ve got going in the crock won’t cure.”

“Well, call if you change your mind,” he told her.

“You don’t feel well,” Walt said suddenly, but not loudly enough for the speaker to catch all of it .

“What’s that, my sweet boy?” Aunt Anna asked.

“Are you sad that Aunt Anna doesn’t feel well, bud?” he asked, impressed that the boy had clearly been following along with the adult conversation.

“Yeah,” Walt sighed sadly.

“He’ll miss you today,” Aidan told her. “But we both hope you feel better soon. Tell her feel better soon, bud.”

“ Feel better soon ,” Walt called out, his little voice sounding happy. Aidan figured that he was feeling content, now that he knew what to say.

They signed off on the call and Aidan tapped his fingers on the wheel. He had automatically taken them to Kenzie’s house as they talked. Maybe he could just pop in and explain what was going on.

“Walt, I need to stop in and see Kenzie for a minute, okay?” he said, pulling into her driveway.

“Me too,” Walt said.

“You do?” Aidan asked, resisting the impulse to chuckle.

“I want to show her my books,” Walt said.

Walt had brought his library books with him today to read at Anna’s house. It made sense that he wanted to show them to Kenzie, since most of them were about ballet.

“Okay,” Aidan decided. “But we’re only going to be here for a minute or two.”

“Okay,” Walt said agreeably.

Aidan lifted the boy out of his car seat a little awkwardly. Walt didn’t want to put down his stack of books and Aidan wasn’t about to argue with him. He only wished he’d had Walt’s appetite for books when he was little.

“Ready?” he asked.

But Walt was already scrambling up the steps to the front porch, clutching the library books to his chest.

Aidan had meant to go around to the back, but Walt was already knocking industriously on the front door. He was obviously very excited to see Kenzie.

Aidan got a little flutter in his own belly and frowned at himself as he jogged up the steps to join his son.

“Hi there,” Kenzie said, smiling at Walt. “Wow, that’s a lot of books.”

“They’re about ballerinas, Kenzie,” Walt told her.

“Really?” she asked, her smile becoming so radiant Aidan had to look away from her before he spoke.

“Unfortunately, my sitter isn’t feeling well,” he said gruffly. “She called when I was on my way into town. So I can’t put up the barres today, but hopefully tomorrow.”

“Is it a long job?” Kenzie asked, looking up from the books.

“Not really,” he told her.

“No pressure,” she said. “But Walt and I can definitely hang out if you want to just get it done while you’re here.”

“ Yes ,” Walt yelled, nearly dropping some of his books.

“Careful there, cowboy,” Kenzie laughed, helping him catch them.

Being called a cowboy predictably cracked Walt up and he practically folded in half laughing.

“We can read books and play,” Kenzie told Aidan quietly. “I used to love babysitting back in high school. But if you’re not comfortable with it, I totally understand.”

She really did seem to want to do this. And her worrying that he might not trust her broke his resolve.

“That would be great,” he told her. “If you really don’t mind.”

He made the mistake of moving his gaze from the doorframe to Kenzie for a moment.

Her eyes were sparkling with excitement as she smiled up at him, and her cheeks were slightly flushed. In Kenzie’s face, he saw all the innocence and joy that used to be his, and he felt like a cavern was opening up in his chest at the loss of who he had been.

You’re the one who chose to be a miserable grump, a little voice in the back of his head told him.

But that wasn’t true. Life had put him here, and Sharon’s selfish choices, too. He couldn’t risk walking around with a trusting outlook anymore. He was Walt’s only responsible parent.

“Of course I don’t mind,” she said happily.

“Fine,” he bit out, looking away from her again to break her spell. “I’ll help you get settled and then grab my tools.”

“Oh, we can get settled on our own,” Kenzie said quickly. “Right, Walt?”

She was wearing that hurt expression again, like he’d disappointed her somehow.

It was probably because I couldn’t spare her a kind word even though she’s being so nice.

“ Yes ,” Walt squeaked, so excited he was practically vibrating .

Aidan dragged his eyes from them and headed back down to the truck. He could hear Walt laughing at something Kenzie was telling him and he bit back a smile of his own. He had hurt her feelings, and he wasn’t part of their circle of two.

This is why I stay away from women, he told himself.

Normally, that assurance made him feel better right away. But the truth was that he didn’t really want to stay away from Kenzie. Something in him longed to soak in the warmth of her smile.

Shaking it off, he grabbed his tools and headed to the back door. He didn’t really have that much to do today. With any luck, he could get at least one barre up before Walt got a burst of energy that was too much for a woman on crutches to deal with.

He had been hoping that Kenzie would bring Walt into the family room, but he could hear them talking in the kitchen.

“You didn’t eat breakfast yet, did you?” Kenzie was asking Walt.

Aidan didn’t hear his answer, but he assumed Walt was shaking his head. They’d both had oatmeal at home, but the boy was always excited about eating, especially at someone else’s house.

“Okay,” Kenzie laughed. “I’m hungry too. Let’s make some toast. Then we can put whatever we want on it.”

Satisfied that they were doing just fine for now, Aidan got right to work.

Normally when he was working, Aidan slipped into a zone of concentration and satisfaction where nothing else could touch him. But today, he found himself thinking fretfully about the interaction with Kenzie. Just because he didn’t want to get involved didn’t mean he had to be cold with her.

I’ll do better somehow...

He had just about gotten the anchors for the first barre set up when he heard footsteps approaching.

“We made you toast ,” Walt yelled happily.

“No way,” Aidan said, turning around to see Walt holding out a plate with two pieces of toast on it, each piece was cut in half and each half had something different spread on it. Kenzie stood behind him, wearing an uncertain expression on her face, like she was scared to have bothered him.

“Kenzie said I could put whatever I want on them,” Walt said importantly. “I picked peanut butter, and cherry jam, and orange marmalade, and apple butter.”

“This looks amazing,” Aidan told him, meaning it. The toast was made with thick slabs of what looked like homemade bread.

“We’ve got coffee and juice too,” Kenzie added tentatively. “But we thought that would be too hard for us to carry.”

“I’ll join you in the kitchen,” Aidan said, taking the plate from Walt, and being sure to give her a pleasant expression, if not a smile. “Thank you both.”

In the kitchen, he spotted the library books sitting on the table, out of the danger zone of butter and jam over on the countertop.

“Have a seat,” Kenzie said. “I can pour it out.”

“No way,” Aidan told her, determined to get her smiling, like before. “You two sit and I’ll get the drinks together. What do you guys want?”

“Juice, please,” Walt called out.

“Coffee with milk, please,” Kenzie said.

“Coming right up,” Aidan told them both.

“After toast, can we read my books, Kenzie?” Walt asked excitedly.

“Definitely,” Kenzie told him.

“I can’t really read though,” Walt admitted sadly. “Except for the and a and Walt .”

“That’s awesome that you’re learning to read,” Kenzie told him right away. “And those are words that come up a lot, so maybe if I read to you, you can help me with those words.”

“Yes,” Walt said excitedly. “I can read them for you.”

“That’s great,” she said. “And we won’t open the books while our hands are sticky from toast, but I noticed you had some really good ones there.”

“Do you read ballerina books?” Walt asked.

“I read some of those very same books when I was a kid,” she told him. “And now that I’m older, I still read about dancers, but they’re not picture books, they’re books written by real dancers about what it was like to dance in ballets. Or books about choreographers—those are the people who make up the dances.”

“Oh,” Walt said politely.

“One of the books you chose is kind of like that,” she told him. “It’s about a real little girl who becomes a dancer in the ballet, and all the other boys and girls who dance with her. That was one of my favorites. ”

Aidan put her coffee mug in front of her and Walt’s juice in front of him.

“Thank you,” Kenzie said.

Walt dug into his toast right away, but Kenzie bowed her head for a moment of silence before eating.

Aidan watched her with a lump in his throat. His parents had always said grace before meals, but after they passed, he had let go of the habit himself.

“This is good,” Walt said with his mouth full, spewing a few crumbs onto the table.

Aidan signaled to him, pointing to his own mouth, to remind him not to talk with his mouth full.

“My friend, Mallory, made the bread in her bakery,” Kenzie said, pretending not to notice. “She loves to bake bread. Maybe one day she’ll teach me.”

“My Aunt Leticia makes her own bread,” Aidan said. “It’s time-consuming, but the bread is so delicious.”

“I’ve got a little time on my hands,” Kenzie joked, glancing down at the boot on her foot.

“How long do you have to keep it on?” Aidan asked her.

“Well, that depends,” she told him. “Probably until right before Christmas, but maybe less time if I’m doing well. The only trouble is that I don’t really have a doctor here, so I’d have to travel to get it looked at before then.”

“My cousin Kellan could see you,” Aidan offered. “If you wanted.”

“Right,” she said, shaking her head as if in awe. “Kellan Webb is a doctor now.”

“Most folks still refer to him as the kid who delivered the paper,” Aidan said, chuckling. “It used to bother him, but I get the feeling he kind of likes it now.”

“It’s good to be remembered in your hometown,” Kenzie said firmly. “I went over to the ballet theatre the other day and some of the kids in the preschool class I used to help out with were there. They’re all teenagers now. It was so cool.”

“There’s a ballet preschool?” Walt asked.

“It’s not like your preschool, bud,” Aidan told him. “It’s something you do after regular preschool, like in the afternoons.”

Walt nodded, looking thoughtful.

“Anyway, a lot of people stayed in Trinity Falls,” Kenzie said. “It’s sort of nice, isn’t it?”

“I guess so,” Aidan agreed. “I always wanted to come back at some point. I’d like to be living here before Walt starts kindergarten.”

Kenzie gave him a funny look.

“What?” he asked.

“You don’t live here now?” she asked.

“Well, I have a place here,” he said, not wanting to get into why. “But it’s just for our visits. We usually live in Philadelphia. It’s easier to find high-end carpentry work there.”

“That makes sense,” she said. “Wouldn’t it be funny if we both moved back here this winter?”

“Well, you’ll be back in New York as soon as you’re feeling better,” he said without thinking.

She had just taken a sip of coffee and she shrugged—probably not wanting to say in front of Walt that she might not be able to dance again .

They ate in silence for a few minutes, and when they were finished, Aidan helped to clean up the kitchen and his sticky son, then Walt and Kenzie got started on their reading.

It was lovely to see them bent over the picture books, Kenzie’s golden locks cascading onto Walt’s darker hair, Walt singing out the words he knew in his husky voice as she got to them.

Aidan quietly headed back to work, tearing his eyes away from the sweet scene before he got himself into trouble by opening his mouth.