19. Lily

Alice barges into my apartment about an hour after Cade leaves, eyes wide while she clutches my bag. I'm sitting in my robe at the table, eating a bowl of yogurt. "What the fuck, Lily?!"

My eyes widen. "Hello to you, too."

"You realize I've been trying to contact you since this morning asking when I could bring your stuff over? I thought you were fucking in a ditch murdered by a psychopath."

Shit.

My heart skips a beat. I'd been so wrapped up in the shit that happened last night, and today I hadn't even checked my phone.

I set down my yogurt, avoiding Alice's piercing gaze.

"I'm sorry, I haven't checked my phone..." My voice trails off as flashes of this morning flood my mind. Cade's strong hands on my hips, his hot breath against my neck, the way he growled my name as he...

I shake my head, willing the memories away.

"Lily!" Alice's sharp voice snaps me back. "What the hell is going on with you?"

I rub my temples, the beginnings of a headache forming. "It's nothing, really. I overslept this morning and have been chilling,"I lie.

Alice narrows her eyes, clearly not buying it. She grabs my chin, turning my head side to side, examining me. "Why do you have bruises on your neck? And bite marks?"

I jerk away, tugging my robe closed. Shit. I'd forgotten about the marks Cade left.

"Did someone hurt you?"Alice asks, voice laced with concern.

"No, no, it's not like that."I avoid her gaze. How can I even begin to explain? That I let a dangerous man into my bed, and I liked it?

"Lily."Alice's voice softens. "You know you can tell me anything. I'm here for you, okay?"

I nod, tears pricking my eyes. I want to confess it all—the visits at the diner, the carnival last night, the break-in last night, how he makes me feel—but the words stick in my throat. It's all too insane.

"It was a hookup, that's all,"I mumble instead. "I'm fine, really."

Alice's brow furrows. "A hookup? Are you saying you're no longer a virgin?"

I shrug, wishing I could sink into the floor.

"What the fuck? Who did you have sex with?"

I swallow hard, unable to meet her gaze. "It's not important."

"The hell it's not. You said you were waiting until you found the right guy, so who is this right guy exactly?"She sits down opposite me and clears her throat. "Look at me, I'm your best friend. You can tell me anything."

I sigh heavily, knowing she's right. "I slept with my stalker,"I murmur quietly.

Alice stiffens, eyes narrowing. "Did he force himself on you?"

I shake my head. "No. I mean… I don't think so. Fuck, I don't know. I was desperate for him, and one thing led to another."

"Did he break in?"

I bite my bottom lip. "Yeah…"

"You need to call the cops."She grabs her cell phone and dials, but I stop her.

"No. I don't want to. It may sound crazy, but I want to see where this goes."

Alice's eyes are as wide as saucers.

I drop my gaze, unable to meet her shocked stare out of shame. What the hell is wrong with me? I should be calling the cops, not confessing my twisted desires to my best friend.

"Lily..."Alice begins gently. "This guy broke into your home. He's dangerous."

I nod, chewing my bottom lip. Alice is right, of course. Cade is unstable, and I should stay far from him, but logic and reason fly out the window when I'm with him.

"I know,"I say softly. "But when he looks at me, touches me...I feel things I've never felt before."

"Of course you do. You've got nothing to compare it to!"Alice shakes her head in disbelief. "He's got you all twisted up inside. This could end badly if you're not careful."

She's trying to protect me, but her words sting. I'm not some naive girl being taken advantage of. I wanted Cade as much as he wanted me; it's why I went to the carnival last night, even if I did resist at the start when I woke with him naked in my bed.

"I appreciate your concern,"I say evenly. "But I'm an adult. I can make my own choices."

Alice opens her mouth to argue, but I hold up a hand. "Please, trust me on this."

She purses her lips, clearly unhappy. But she nods.

"Thank you,"I say, relieved that the conversation is over. I stand up to give her a quick hug. I'm going to take a shower and get ready for the night shift. Otherwise, I'm going to be late."

"Okay."Alice picks up her purse. "But this conversation isn't over. If he hurts you..."

"I know. You'll kill him."I give her a small smile.

She pulls me into another hug. "I'm here for you, always. Don't forget that."

I nod against her shoulder, fighting back a surge of tears. No matter what happens with Cade, my best friend is my anchor.

Once Alice leaves, I strip off my robe and step into the shower. As the hot water cascades over my skin, I think about what lies ahead.

I'm playing with fire but can't resist the forbidden thrill. Cade makes me feel alive in a way I never dreamed possible.I'll face the consequences if and when they come. For now, I plan to savor every electrifying moment.