22. Aurora

22

My head pounds with pain as my eyes flutter open. As I try to piece together what happened, the memories come flooding back—Gage's powerful hands on me, his rough voice talking dirty, the searing intensity of our encounter in the woods. I feel a flush of heat spread through me, my skin tingling with the phantom touch of his fingers.

Turning my head, I notice a folded note on the pillow beside me. My heart races as I reach for it, my fingers trembling slightly. Unfolding the paper, I read Gage's scribbled words.

"Aurora,

I'm sorry I couldn't stay. I needed to leave before I did something I would regret. You deserve so much better than the monster I am. Please, for your own safety, stay away from me. I'm not worth the darkness that follows in my wake.

Gage"

I stare at the words, my brow furrowing in confusion. After everything we shared, how could he just leave me here? A part of me understands his reasoning, but the other part craves his touch, intensity, and the thrill of being in his presence.

Pushing myself up, I wince at the soreness in my muscles. As I move, I notice the bandages covering my cuts have been changed. Gage must have tended to me before leaving.

The smart thing would be to stay far away from him. But the memory of his body pressed against mine, the way he made me feel free, is like an addiction I can't shake. I need more.

I grab my cell phone, my fingers trembling as I scroll through my contacts. Finding Gage's number, I hesitate momentarily before pressing the call button. The phone rings once, twice, three times, but there's no answer. Disappointment settles in my chest as I get his message box.

I open our text conversation and type out a message:

Gage, I can't stay away. What we have is too intense, too real to ignore. Please, don't push me away. I need you.

I hit send and waited anxiously for his response, my heart pounding. Minutes feel like hours as I stare at the screen, willing his name to appear.

My phone vibrates, and I nearly drop it in my haste to read his message:

Gage: Aurora, you don't understand. I almost killed you last night. I lost control, and I can't risk that happening again. You're not safe with me.

My fingers tremble as I read Gage's message. His words send a chill through me, but the thought of him losing control, of nearly taking my life, ignites a dark fascination within me.Another message comes through.

Gage: You stopped breathing after I strangled you to orgasm, and luckily, my CPR brought you back. I won't risk your life again.

I stare at the words, my mind racing. Gage nearly killed me, yet the idea of his powerful hands wrapped around my throat turns me on. The thought of him fighting to save me, to bring me back from the brink of death, is intoxicating.

Gage: The carnival leaves in four days. You need to forget me. Darkness follows me everywhere.

I bite my lip, considering his warning. Forget him? After the connection we've shared, the way he's ignited a fire within me I can't extinguish? No, I won't let him go, not when I've finally found someone who understands the desires that haunt me.

With a deep breath, I type out my response, my fingers moving with a newfound determination.

I can't forget you. I know the risks, but I'm willing to take them. Please, don't push me away. I need you, darkness and all.

I hit send, my heart pounding in my chest. I wait with bated breath for his reply. I've laid my heart bare, exposing the depths of my desire, and now I can only hope that Gage will see the truth in my words.

Finally, the familiar chime sounds, and I eagerly open the message.

Gage: I can't control the darkness. If I slip up again, I may be unable to save you.

I read his words, the weight of their meaning settling heavily in my chest. He's right, I don't fully understand the depths of his darkness, the danger that lurks within him. But that only makes me want him more.

Instead of replying, I decide I'll go to the carnival after work tonight, and find him to make him understand why we're meant to be together. Perhaps asking him to play out a rape fantasy was a step too far too soon, but I know that now. I'm sure I can help keep his darkness in check.

I step into the shower, the hot water cascading over my skin. When I glance up, I glimpse my reflection in the mirror as the steam fills the bathroom. My eyes widen as I notice the dark bruises encircling my neck, a stark reminder of Gage's powerful hands wrapped around my throat.

I trace my fingers over the marks, a shiver running down my spine. The memory of his touch, the way he choked me to the brink of death, sends a wave of heat through my body. The sight of these bruises would make a different woman run as far away from him as possible.

But the bruises are like a visible collar, a mark of his ownership over me. As the water cascades over me, I let my hands roam over my skin, imagining they're his. I touch myself, my fingers sliding between my legs, teasing and stroking until I'm panting with need. The ache inside me grows, a desperate longing for his touch, his possession.

As I bring myself closer to the edge, I imagine Gage's hands around my throat, squeezing tighter and tighter until I'm gasping for air. The thought of surrendering to him completely, of letting him take me to the brink of death and back again, sends me over the edge. I cry out his name, my body shaking with the force of my release.

Stepping out of the shower, my skin is flushed from the heat and the lingering effects of my fantasies. As I towel off, I catch another glimpse of the bruises around my neck in the mirror. A shiver runs through me, and I glance away, focusing on getting dressed for work.

I slip into my grocery store uniform, buttoning the polo shirt up to hide the marks on my neck. The last thing I need is for anyone at work to see the evidence of my encounter with Gage and to ask questions.

When I arrive at the store, I spot Dan restocking shelves in the produce section. He looks up and waves, smiling. I approach him, trying to act casual.

"Hey, Aurora! How was your date last night?" Dan asks.

My cheeks heat, and I realize I'd forgotten about bumping into Dan last night. "Oh, um, it was... good," I stammer, avoiding his gaze.

Dan raises an eyebrow, clearly not buying my vague response. "Just good? Come on, Aurora, I know you better than that. Spill the details!"

I fidget with the hem of my shirt, trying to find the right words. "Well, we... we had sex," I admit.

Dan's eyes widen, and a grin spreads across his face. "No way! Congratulations, girl!"

I can't help but smile at his enthusiasm, even as I feel a twinge of guilt. If he knew I fucked the man who hurt Charlotte, he'd probably have me committed. But I push those thoughts aside, focusing on the bliss of experiencing the intimacy I've craved for so long.

"Thanks, Dan," I say, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. "It was... intense."

Dan nods, a knowing look in his eye. "I get it. The first time has a way of hooking you. Just be careful, okay? Make sure this guy treats you right."

I swallow hard, the bruises on my neck seeming to throb at his words. "I will," I promise, even as I know that the danger is part of what draws me to Gage.