35. Colt

35

COLT

I pace in our trailer, my jaw clenched tight as Nash lounges on the couch like he doesn’t care. The rage I’ve been holding back finally boils over as Flora sleeps in my bedroom.

“You had no right to tell her everything about the operation,” I snap, running my fingers through my hair. “She wasn’t ready.”

Nash raises an eyebrow. “Wasn’t ready? Did you see her back there? She handled it better than most.”

“That’s what worries me.” I stop pacing and face him. “No one should take to this life that easily. It’s not normal.”

“Nothing about our girl is normal,” Nash says with a shrug. “She’s special. You know that.”

“Don’t try to deflect. This is serious. You overstepped. We should have eased her in slowly and talked to Ty first.”

“Lighten up, Colt. What’s done is done. She knows now, and she wants to be part of it. All of it.”

I slam my hand against the wall, making the whole trailer shake. It’s not just that Nash told her. I’m pissed because he kept the entire shady operation a fucking secret from me for countless years. With Flora, he’s suddenly an open book. “That’s not your call to make! Ty needs to know what you’ve done. I have to tell him.”

“Then we tell him.” Nash stands up, his calm demeanor only fueling my anger. “He’ll see what I see—that Flora is exactly where she belongs, doing exactly what she was meant to do.”

“You better hope you’re right,” I growl. “Because if this blows back on us, it’s your head on the line.”

Nash smiles that infuriating smile of his. “Trust me, partner. When has my judgment ever steered us wrong?”

I turn away, grabbing my jacket.

Nash places a hand on my shoulder. “Is this really just about me telling Flora?” He demands.

I freeze. “What else would it be about?”

“You seem unusually angry about it. What’s up?”

I growl and turn to him. “What’s up?” I shake my head. “You kept this side of the carnival secret from me since we joined the carnival.”

Nash’s expression drops, and he runs a hand through his hair. “Not quite. Ty didn’t bring me into that side of the operation until I was twenty-two. That was four years ago.”

“Right, but you had no fucking qualms lying about it for years to your best friend.”

Nash clenches his jaw. “Ty made the rules. He told me it had to remain between the four of us. Lars, him, and Phoenix.”

“And yet, you tell Flora at the drop of a hat?”

Nash’s lips quirk into a slight smile. “Are you jealous?”

I glare at Nash, my fists clenched at my sides. “Jealous? You think this is about jealousy?”

“I think you’re hurt that I kept secrets from you,” Nash says softly, stepping closer. “And you’re right. I should have told you years ago.”

“Damn right, you should have.” The anger deflates from me slightly at his admission. “We’re supposed to trust each other with everything.”

Nash reaches out, his fingers brushing my arm. “I do trust you, Colt. More than anyone. Keeping this from you was the hardest thing I’ve ever done.”

I shake my head but don’t pull away from his touch. “Then why did you?”

“Because Ty ordered it. And because...” He pauses, looking uncertain for the first time tonight. “Because I feared losing you if you knew the truth about me. About what I’m capable of.”

“You really think I’d judge you?” I step closer, closing the distance between us. “After everything we’ve been through?”

Nash’s eyes meet mine, dark and intense. “No. I was being a coward.”

The last of my anger melts away at the vulnerability in his voice. Without thinking, I reach up and cup his face in my hands. Nash’s breath catches, his pupils dilating as I lean in.

Our lips meet hesitantly at first, then with growing intensity. Years of feelings pour into that kiss, making my head spin. Nash’s hands grip my waist, pulling me closer as he deepens the kiss.

When we finally break apart, we’re both breathing hard. Nash rests his forehead against mine, a small smile on his lips.

“No more secrets,” I whisper against his mouth.

“No more secrets,” he agrees, stealing another quick kiss. “I promise.”

“Now, let’s go and fix this mess,” I say, turning and walking out the door. Ty needs to know what’s happened. I hope he sees it Nash’s way because we’re all in trouble if he doesn’t.

I follow Nash into Ty’s office, still fuming about last night’s revelations. The morning sun streams through the dusty windows, casting long shadows across Ty’s desk, where he’s reviewing paperwork.

“Well, if it isn’t my star performers,” Ty says, looking up with a grin. “That Christmas show was something else. The crowd couldn’t take their eyes off Flora and Nash.”

“She’s a natural,” Nash replies, settling into one of the chairs.

I remain standing, my shoulders tense.

“More than natural,” Ty continues. “You two have done an incredible job training her. The way she moved on those silks... I haven’t seen anything like it in years. And the chemistry between her and Nash? Perfect.”

I shift uncomfortably, thinking of Flora sleeping back in our trailer, exhausted from everything last night. I want to tell Ty everything, but something holds me back.

“The ticket sales were through the roof,” Ty says, shuffling through some papers. “We might need to add another show next week if this keeps up. You’ve really struck gold with her.”

Nash shoots me a knowing look. “We told you she was special.”

“That you did.” Ty leans back in his chair. “I must admit, I had doubts when we brought her in. But she’s proven me wrong. Whatever you’re doing with her training, keep it up.”

If he only knew what kind of “training” Nash had initiated her into last night. But watching Ty’s genuine enthusiasm about the show’s success makes me reconsider my earlier anger. Maybe Nash was right about Flora being ready for all of this.

I clear my throat, the words feeling like rocks in my mouth. “There’s something else you need to know, Ty. About Flora.”

Nash shifts in his chair but doesn’t interrupt. Good. He got us into this mess—he can sweat it out while I clean it up.

“Nash told her everything last night. About the operation. The drugs. All of it.”

Ty’s expression hardens, his earlier warmth vanishing. He sets down his papers. “He did what?”

“She knows we use the carnival as a front for moving cocaine,” I continue, forcing myself to hold Ty’s gaze. “And before you ask—yes, she took it well. Too well, actually.”

“That wasn’t your call to make,” Ty says, his voice deadly quiet. “Either of you.”

“She deserves to know what she is getting into,” Nash replies, unfazed. “Especially after what we did to those boys last night.”

Ty’s eyes narrow. “What boys?”

Shit. I shoot Nash a warning look, but he’s already leaning forward in his chair. “Her foster brothers. The ones who hurt her. We took care of them.”

The temperature in the room drops ten degrees. Ty’s jaw works as he processes this new information. I brace myself for the explosion, but his voice is controlled when he speaks.

“So not only did you reveal our operation to an outsider, but you also committed murder without consulting me first?”

Nash growls. “Flora isn’t an outsider. She’s one of us.”

“I told you I needed the lockup for something personal,” I counter.

Ty’s jaw clenches. “Right, but not why you needed it.”

I lean forward, meeting Ty’s gaze head-on. “Flora isn’t just some outsider we brought in. She’s with us. Both of us. Nash and me.”

His expression shifts, but I press on before he can speak.

“And let me ask you something, Ty. What if it was Sofia?” I watch his face darken at the mention of his woman. “What if you found out that two men had been raping her for two years? That they’d invited their friends over to gang rape her?”

Nash tenses but stays quiet. Ty’s knuckles turn white where they grip his desk.

“What would you do?” I continue. “Would you wait to get permission? Would you think twice about using that lockup? Or would you make them suffer like we did?”

Ty stands up slowly, his chair scraping against the floor. For a moment, the only sound in the office is his measured breathing.

“You’re right,” he finally says. “I’d have torn them apart with my bare hands.”

“That’s what we did,” Nash adds. “For Flora. Because she’s ours, just like Sofia is yours.”

“I can’t blame you for dealing with those bastards,” Ty sighs, rubbing his temples. “But telling her about the drug ring?”

I shift my weight, feeling the tension in my shoulder. “How were we supposed to explain the lockup? The tools? Why did we even have access to that kind of setup?”

“We couldn’t lie to her,” Nash adds. “Not after everything she’s been through. She deserves the truth.”

“Look,” I say, bracing my hands on Ty’s desk. “Flora saw things in that lockup that needed context. The restraints, the soundproofing—she’s smart. She would have figured it out eventually.”

“Plus,” Nash interjects, “she handled the whole situation like a pro. Didn’t even flinch when we explained what we really do here.”

I nod. “We can’t keep lying to her, Ty. Not when she’s part of our life now. Every aspect of it.”

Ty sinks back into his chair. “And you’re sure she can be trusted?”

“With our lives,” Nash and I say in unison.

“She’s been through hell,” I continue. “Survived things that would break most people. And instead of running from the darkness, she embraces it. Just like we do.”

“The way she worked that hammer last night?” Nash’s voice holds a note of pride. “That wasn’t just revenge. That was a natural talent.”

“She’s one of us,” I insist. “Whether you like it or not. And we won’t lie to her about who we are or what we do.”

Ty leans back in his chair, running a hand over his face. “Fine,” he says after a long pause. “If she’s in, she’s in. But I need to brief her myself. Soon. We’ll determine where her talents lie and how she can help the operation.”

Relief floods through me. Nash shoots me a knowing look—that infuriating “I told you so” expression I both hate and love.

“She’ll work with us,” I say quickly before Ty can start planning anything else. “On our side of things.”

Nash nods. “We’ve already seen what she can do. She’s perfect for our specialty work.”

“The enforcement side?” Ty raises an eyebrow. “You sure about that? It’s not exactly...”

“She has a natural talent for it,” Nash interrupts. “You should have seen her last night.”

“And she’s already proven she can handle extreme situations,” I add. “Plus, she’s got the acrobatic skills to back it up. Makes for a deadly combination.”

Ty drums his fingers on his desk, considering our words. “Alright. She stays with you. But I still need to brief her on the overall operation. Make sure she understands exactly what she’s getting into.”

I nod at Ty’s words, relieved this went better than expected. “Just let us know when you want to do the briefing. We’ll make sure she’s ready.”

Nash echoes my agreement. “She’ll take it seriously, Ty. You can count on that.”

Ty leans back in his chair, a puzzled expression crossing his face. “There’s something else I don’t get.” He runs a hand through his hair, hesitating. “How the fuck does it work, sharing a girl? I mean, if anyone even looks at Sofia the wrong way, I want to murder them. Can’t wrap my head around it.”

I exchange a glance with Nash, understanding Ty’s confusion. It’s not something we’ve really explained to anyone before.

“It’s different with us,” I say carefully. “We’ve been partners for years. There’s trust there that goes beyond normal friendship.”

Nash nods. “Flora isn’t being shared—she’s ours. Together. It’s not about taking turns or splitting her attention. The three of us just... fit.”

I shift uncomfortably as Ty’s eyes narrow with interest. “Like what—you two play with each other too?”

The question hangs in the air. I glance at Nash, who meets my gaze with quiet understanding. We’ve never discussed this part of our relationship with anyone, but if there’s someone who won’t judge us, it’s Ty.

“Yes,” I admit, my voice steady despite the heat creeping up my neck. “All three of us are together. Intimately.”

Nash’s hand brushes against mine, a subtle gesture of support.

“But we’d appreciate it if you kept that information to yourself,” I add quickly. “It’s not something we want to advertise.”

Nash nods. “We know what the guys are like. Two men fucking each other isn’t exactly something they’ll be comfortable with.”

My stomach tightens at Nash’s blunt words, but I keep my face neutral. I’ve hidden this part of myself for so long. It’s strange hearing it discussed so openly.

Ty shakes his head, surprising me with a small smile. “I’m not so sure that’s true. Look, we’re not exactly your typical carnival crew, are we? These guys have seen and done things most people couldn’t imagine.”

“It’s different,” I argue.

“Is it? Sure, they’ll probably give you shit for it. There’ll be jokes and banter—that’s just how they are. But real hate?” He shrugs. “I don’t see it. Not from this group.”

Nash shifts beside me, and I feel some tension leave his shoulders. “You really think they’d be that accepting?”

“We’re a family of misfits,” Ty says. “Each one of us has something others might consider strange or wrong. But that’s why we work. We accept each other.”

His words hit home, making me reconsider everything I thought I knew about our carnival family. Maybe we’re hiding for nothing.

Ty leans back in his chair, processing this new revelation. The silence stretches between us, but there’s no disgust or judgment in his expression—just genuine curiosity.

“But your secret’s safe with me,” he says, a small smile on his lips. “Not my business anyway.”

“Thanks, Ty,” I say, feeling the weight lift from my shoulders.

“You two are something else,” Ty chuckles, shaking his head. “Never thought I’d see the day when my best enforcers turned into lovesick puppies.”

“Watch it,” I growl, but there’s no real heat behind it.

“Hey, I’m not judging.” Ty raises his hands in mock surrender. “Just never seen either of you like this before. It... makes sense, though.”

Nash stands, stretching his long frame. “We should get back. Flora will be wondering where we are.”

“Can’t keep the lady waiting,” Ty smirks. “Go on, get out of here. And try not to murder anyone else without telling me first, yeah?”

I smirk as we head for the door. “No promises.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of,” Ty calls after us, laughing.

Walking back to the trailer with Nash, my steps feel lighter than they have in years. The morning sun warms my face, and I can’t help but smile at Ty’s easy acceptance of our relationship.

Ten years. I’ve kept the fact I’m bisexual hidden, scared of what people would think. Scared of what Nash would think, considering I was attracted to him. How different things might have been if I’d been braver.

But then I think of Flora, probably still curled up in our bed, and realize it wouldn’t have worked without her. The way she fits between us and completes us...

My chest tightens with emotion: I love Nash and Flora. With his quiet strength and calculating mind, Nash has been by my side through everything. And Flora, our beautiful, broken angel who proved to be stronger than either of us imagined.

Together, we make sense in a way I can’t explain. Maybe that’s why it never worked—Nash and I were waiting for her, even if we didn’t know it.