Chapter 6

CHAPTER 6

Z oe's jaw hung open. A date? Had she heard the man correctly? He'd tracked her down to ask her on a date?

"I'm sorry, what?"

Carlos's cheeks tinted red slightly. "I know this probably seems out of the blue. I've been thinking about you since we met last February. Do you remember, in Steel's kitchen?"

Zoe nodded. Oh, she remembered all right. At least then she'd only nearly run into him, unlike at lunch earlier. Manners dictated that she should apologize and thank him, but she couldn't seem to form the words.

"I understand if you don't want to. I know you recently lost your husband. I just thought…" Carlos shrugged, a little self-conscious. "Anyway, if you're interested, Clara, I'd love the chance to get to know you better."

Zoe stared at him. The last man who had asked her out on a date she had murdered because he turned out to be an abusive, controlling asshole. Clearly, she did not trust her instincts when it came to men.

But, looking at Carlos now… Zoe wished she was someone else, someone who could say yes to him. He looked to be about the same age as her, late twenties. Despite her aversion to the profession, he looked damn good in his beige deputy's uniform.

Her panic upon opening the door had vanished when she'd seen his nervousness. He'd knocked, hat in hand, to ask her out on a date. That took guts. He didn't strike her as the type of man who got nervous or bashful easily. It…humanized him. Made her see Carlos and not the deputy.

Regardless, her answer couldn't change. Even if her heart hated her tongue for what she was about to say.

Since Carlos believed she was Jenna's widowed niece, Zoe chose her next words based on that lie. "I'm flattered, really. But I can't. My husband was a cop. The job… It killed him. I can't…" Her voice broke. "I won't go through that, or put my son through that, again."

The disappointment on Carlos's face nearly had her backpedaling. It was a date , not a marriage proposal. But his gun and his badge were as prominent as his uniform. She had no choice but to say no.

Carlos nodded stiffly. He was rotating the brim of his hat around in his hands. "I understand. I'm sorry, Clara, for your loss." He made to step away. Zoe had her hand on the door, ready to close it, when he suddenly turned back. "Clara?"

She looked up. "Yes?"

"What if it's not a date? What if we just happen to meet at the diner one night and happen to sit at the same booth for a nice meal and some conversation?"

She shook her head slowly. "I don't understand."

"I haven't seen you around town. I'm assuming you don't go out much." Carlos indicated to the trailer she was currently inhabiting. "I didn't even know these were back here. This, and what happened at lunch today, tells me you're not comfortable being out and about. So, what if, rather than us going out on a date, I just take you out to the diner? No pressure, no romance, no implications. We can just sit and chat while you enjoy some of the best apple pie in the state. I'll be there to help you if you need it and take you home if you get uncomfortable."

Zoe felt frozen. She couldn't… She shouldn't… "I have a son."

"I know," Carlos said with a small nod. "If you want to bring him, I don't mind. Otherwise, I'm sure one of the club ladies would be happy to watch him."

Jenna certainly would, especially if it meant Zoe was going out.

"I shouldn't," she said softly.

He tilted his head, assessing her. "I'm a cop, Clara. I've been a cop since I was eighteen years old. My boss has recently quit and I'm basically a shoo-in to be the town's new sheriff. It's not glamorous and the hours suck, but Mount Grove is a safe town. I've worked hard to make it that way. Accidents can happen, sure, but the people here are good." Carlos tipped his head back towards the hidden path in the trees. "I have to get going. I'll be at the diner each day this week for dinner around seven. I hope you'll join me."

He started to walk away.

"Carlos!"

Damnit, what the hell was she doing?

He turned back around. "Yes?" There was a small smile on his face and it took Zoe a moment to realize their roles were now reversed.

She couldn't keep her lips from twitching too. How long had it been since she'd smiled? "Dinner sounds nice." His smile widened. "Just dinner," she reminded him. "It's not a date."

He nodded once and put his hat on. "Not a date."

"Tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow," he confirmed and then walked away.

Zoe didn't stop him this time. She slowly closed the door, leaning heavily against it. What was she doing? Date or no, she could not risk going out with the town's new sheriff. But… Zoe closed her eyes as she took in a shaky breath. Bottom line was, she wanted to.

She was tired of being afraid. She was tired of feeling like a bad mom for keeping her son hidden away. She was tired of being alone.

She'd made her decision. Leaving lunch had been a mistake. She'd panicked when she shouldn't have. Zoe needed to learn how to live again. It had been three years since she'd killed her husband, and yet she was still acting like she was under his thumb. Not anymore! Zoe was going to go out with Carlos. Regardless of him promising that it wasn't a date, they both knew it was.

Zoe could only hope that history was not about to repeat itself.

Carlos made sure to pack a spare set of clothes as he headed to work the next day. He did not want to meet Clara for their non-date in his uniform. He packed a nice pair of jeans and a Henley. He'd also sent Kelly, one of the waitresses at the diner, a text asking for the back booth to be reserved for him at seven. Generally, the diner didn't take reservations, but Kelly was a friend and she didn't mind doing favors for the police and fire departments. She probably thought that it was for him and some of his deputies. Carlos did not correct this assumption, knowing Kelly would not keep her mouth shut about Carlos bringing a date to the diner.

In retrospect, the diner was probably a bad choice to bring Clara. There were no secrets in a small town like Mount Grove, and others would want to meet her. Carlos hadn't even told his mom about his non-date.

Hannigan had already cleaned out the sheriff's office of everything personal. Carlos wondered when he'd done so. Hannigan's keys were inside the desk drawer. Carlos had the same set. He made sure there weren't any extra keys on Hannigan's keyring and then put them aside to give to Jeff when he arrived at work.

Carlos sat down and looked around the office. His office. He'd sat in this chair before, but it hadn't been his . It had always been Longhill's or Hannigan's and he'd just been a fill-in. But now? Carlos ran his hand over the wood of the mahogany desk. A feeling of possession and rightness came over him.

He was sheriff now.

Picking up his phone, he took a picture of his office before opening up his text messages.

Carlos: [picture] There's a new sheriff in town.

Bulldog: Fuck yeah! You tell Mamma yet?

Carlos: Not yet. It hadn't felt real until I came in this morning.

Bulldog: Be proud, fratellino. You deserve this.

Bulldog: Did you find what you were looking for yesterday?

Carlos: I did. Meeting her for dinner at 7.

Bulldog: New job and a date! You might want to buy a lottery ticket. Today seems to be your lucky day.

Carlos snorted, but also thought his brother might have a point.

Carlos: It's not a date. It's dinner.

Bulldog: It's a date.

Carlos: I know. Can I ask you something?

Bulldog: Of course.

Carlos: When did the club add in trailers? Why are they back there?

Bulldog: After Abby and cramming all of us into our house, we decided to invest in the trailers. Just in case.

Carlos's eyes narrowed on his phone. His brother was being cryptic again.

Carlos: In case of what?

Bulldog: Just in case.

Bulldog: You never know who needs protection.

Bulldog: Steel knows you know about the trailers. He's open to telling you more when you're ready.

Carlos stared at his phone for a long moment. You never know who needs protection . Does that mean… But Clara didn't need protection. Did she? She was Jenna's niece. But… The cryptic way Bulldog was acting, the clandestine positioning of the trailers, his suspicion that she hadn't left club property since arriving in Mount Grove…

Carlos: Do I need to know something before tonight?

Bulldog: Her story is her own. Steel wants to talk about the Pythons.

Not the answer Carlos had been expecting. Clara mentioned that her husband had been a police officer. She'd said that the job had killed him. Carlos wondered if maybe her husband had seen or heard something that had gotten him killed. Had Clara gone to her aunt for protection after her husband's death?

Carlos: I hate secrets.

Bulldog: But you love solving a good mystery.

Bulldog: Promise me one thing?

Carlos: Yeah?

Bulldog: I've seen the way she looks at you. I think you can help her heal. When she does tell you what happened to her husband, I need you to promise you'll listen and not make assumptions. The law isn't always black and white.

Carlos flinched. Had her husband been a dirty cop? But that didn't mean Clara was dirty. If anything, it made her even more innocent and in need of protection.

Whatever her reasoning, Carlos knew she was worth the fight. Worth protecting. Both her and her son.

Carlos: I promise.

Zoe took a deep breath before knocking on the door. It took a minute before Jenna answered and, when she did, her smile broadened.

"Come in," she opened the door wider to allow Zoe and Kyle inside.

Kyle ran to the backdoor and stared longingly outside at the playset in the yard. Zoe still felt bad for taking him away yesterday.

"Can we sit outside so he can play while we talk?" she asked Jenna.

"Of course. Head on out. I'll grab us some drinks and be right there."

Kyle was out the door before Zoe could agree to Jenna's offer. She hurried outside after her son.

Next to the playset was a wooden pergola with a two-person swing hanging from chains. Zoe took her seat while Kyle climbed, fearlessly, up the rungs to the platform. He continued up two more platforms until he reached the tallest with an attached twisty slide. Kyle bounded down with no hesitation.

"Remember the metal ones we used to have to sacrifice a layer of skin to go down?"

Zoe let out a small chuckle as her son immediately started his climb all over again. She accepted the offered drink from Jenna. "I have a scar on my right thigh from one. There was a metal spider-climb at my childhood church that I cut myself on. I think my dad's words were ‘walk it off, it didn't hit an artery.'"

Jenna took the open seat next to Zoe. "We certainly grew up in a different era."

Zoe glanced at Jenna, who was probably about twenty-five years older than she was. "I'm sorry I left yesterday. I should have stuck it out. That was rude of me."

"I understand your fear, Clara. I don't know your story but I can sympathize."

Zoe took a deep breath before she said, "Zoe. My name is Zoe."

Jenna tried to keep the shock off of her face, but Zoe saw it. "It's wonderful to meet you, Zoe. But I think I'll stick with ‘Clara' until you're ready to tell more than just me your name."

Zoe nodded her agreement. "You should… I lived with you for six months and you never asked. You should know what happened, what I did."

"Does my husband know?"

"I don't know," Zoe confessed. "Conner wrote him a letter but I never read it. He might have explained everything or nothing."

"Do you want me to ask him to come here?"

Zoe looked over at the playground where her son was starting his fifth journey down the slide with the same enthusiasm as his first. "No," she finally said. "I think… I've never told anyone what happened. The only ones who know were involved. I don't think I can handle an audience right now."

Jenna nodded her understanding. "Fair enough. Do you want me to keep this from him?"

Zoe turned to her right to look at the other woman. "Would you? If I asked you to?"

"Of course." Jenna pointed between the two of them. "We women have to stick together. The other ol' ladies and I have a weekly group. The men aren't the only ones with their secret meetings."

Zoe didn't know a lot about how the club functioned and the different terms, but she knew that there were certain things they considered to be ‘club business' that only patched members, and sometimes their ol' ladies, could know.

As much as Zoe did not want others to know her story, Steel had an equal right to know as Jenna. Without being sexist, he probably had more of a right to know since he was the one working to keep her safe.

"You can tell Steel, but only him."

Jenna patted her thigh. "I'll make sure no one else is around. Ollie has been sleeping a lot. I'll wait for him to go to bed before I talk to Steel."

"Thank you."

Over the next hour, as Kyle switched from going down the slide to the swings and then the rocking mushrooms, Zoe told Jenna everything. From meeting and marrying Davis to the first time he struck her. How Conner had tried to champion her and she'd turned him down. To her joy at finally seeing that positive pregnancy test and being able to hold her son for the first time in her arms. She explained in graphic details how her husband dehumanized her, forced himself on her body, and spied on her with cameras and trackers.

To the best of her recollection, she told what had happened the night before she shot her husband and, finally, what happened afterward.

The only part she left out was Owen's involvement. She'd sworn she would keep his secret, and she would. She fibbed and said it was Conner who had gotten her away from the courthouse and had been involved in the gunfight with the hitman or men that had tracked her through her shoes.

Zoe told Jenna about Montana, though she left out the town of Whitefish's name. She explained about the cabin they had lived in for over two years in the mountain, snowed off from civilization for over six months of the year. She described the beautiful landscape and how the men and one woman who called that mountain their home made sure she had plenty of supplies and firewood. She even told her about Jack, the older shopkeeper who seemed too knowledgeable and savvy with computers to be running a small-town general store.

Finally, she explained that it had always been Conner's plan to bring her and Kyle to Mount Grove, but he had died before he could do it himself.

Throughout it all, Jenna kept silent but for the occasional gasp or reaching across to squeeze Zoe's hand.

At the end of her tale, Jenna wrapped her arm around Zoe's shoulders. "You have nothing to be shamed or afraid of. Even if Steel doesn't know what happened, he would never blame you for the decisions you made. You will always have a home and be protected with us."

Zoe leaned into Jenna. It had been a long time since she'd taken comfort from another human being, excluding her son. "I think I did something foolish."

"What's that?" Jenna kept her hold on Zoe, which she appreciated.

"Carlos asked me out on a date."

Jenna sat up with a gasp and a smile. "Really? Oh, Clara, that's wonderful."

Zoe wasn't entirely sure about that. She was so torn. She wanted to go to dinner that night with him. "What if it's a mistake? What if he discovers the truth?"

Zoe appreciated that Jenna didn't automatically push aside her worries for fanciful, romantic cliches, like claiming that love would win out. Instead, Jenna sat for a moment and thought before answering.

"You like Carlos, right?"

Zoe felt her cheeks heat as she nodded. "He's…sweet. I like his eyes."

Jenna nodded slowly. "He is very sweet. I've known him for over ten years. Steel and I came to visit Lucky here before we moved our family down and started the club. Bulldog and Carlos are also natives. I don't know if you knew that. He was a new deputy when I met him, and I've watched him grow up to be the honorable, sweet man you met. He is nothing like your husband," Jenna stressed. "And, I swear to you, you'll have an entire club of men standing between you and him if he does anything you don't like. Physical or otherwise. Hell, his own brother would be the first to stand in front of you if he tried."

Zoe liked the idea of so many protectors. She had really only spent time with Bulldog and Steel, but she knew the names and faces of most of the others. "I want to go out with him, Jenna, but what if I end up liking him even more?"

"I'm not sure I'm following. Wouldn't that be a good thing? To build a life here?"

"He's a cop," Zoe reminded her. "I can never tell him the truth about me. He already believes me to be your widowed niece."

Jenna nodded slowly, deep in thought. "I can't tell you whether you should or shouldn't tell him everything you just told me. That's between you and him. However, I can tell you that Carlos is trustworthy. He does not stand for any mistreatment of women and children. But he is an officer of the law. I don't know how he'll react."

"You still think this date is a good idea then?"

Jenna smiled. "Absolutely. Come on. Let's get Kyle inside to cool off with a snack while you and I go through my wardrobe. We'll find something nice for you to wear."