Chapter 36

CHAPTER 36

Seven weeks ago, I said goodbye to Cole with the heaviest weight of dread on my chest. So much has changed since then, it feels like a lifetime has passed. But it also feels like I snapped my fingers and now I'm getting ready to pick him up from the airport.

If I thought I had butterflies around Cole before, nothing compares to the way my entire body is taken over by flutters and nerves knowing he is on a flight back to me. This homecoming thing is unreal. I never knew I could be so excited and totally terrified at the same time. Not that I'm terrified to see him, but I'm just so nervous.

I put on a blue-and-white polka dot off-the-shoulder cotton dress with a ruffle around the bottom, some neutral sandals, and decide at the last minute to leave my hair down. I swipe on some makeup, spritz on some perfume, and check my phone. I still have fifteen minutes to kill.

Well, I'm going to spontaneously combust if I stay here a moment longer. I'll have to find parking at the airport anyway, so may as well head out. I connect my phone to Bluetooth and dial Anisha as I drive over the bridge.

"Tia! What's up, girl?"

"Um, I'm heading to the airport to pick up Cole and I am...is it normal to feel numb one second and overly hot the next second and then like I'm going to throw up?"

Anisha screams into the phone, then laughs. "That's going to be me in five days! Isn't it the best worst feeling? Oh, my gosh, homecomings are insane! When Mick came home from his first deployment, I thought I was gonna cry buckets of tears, but instead I laughed like a crazy person. Literally, I could not stop laughing, and it was not cute. It was half-cackling, half-braying. Tia! You're doing it!"

Now I'm the one screaming to let out the nervous energy and massive swell of emotions rising in me. Anisha screams with me, and then I'm laughing, my eyes welling with tears. "I have never felt anything like this!"

Anisha sighs. "Right before he walks into the baggage claim, you're going to get this kick to the heart. You'll know he's right there, and then he'll see you and run to you, and it will be the best moment of your life."

I'm clutching my purse in a death grip, standing on my tiptoes as if I'll see him sooner if I'm just a bit taller. People are calmly walking into the baggage claim juggling their water bottles and neck pillows and backpacks, completely unaware my life is about to feel whole again the minute I'm in Cole's arms.

I have to remember to breathe. I keep scanning the crowd, hoping I won't miss him, that I'll see him the instant he comes through the security doors. Every time I see a blond male or a guy wearing a hat, my pulse doubles. I can't wait to kiss him, to hug him, to smell him.

Suddenly my heartbeat trips and my whole body starts shaking. He's here, he's steps away, I can feel it. I'm smiling, but a giant sob is welling in my throat. We made it.

Cole Slaeden bursts through the crowd, running towards me with his unmistakable, megawatt smile. I run to meet him, and he drops his backpack to scoop me up in his arms. I wrap my arms around his neck, clinging to him so tightly, only loosening a fraction to kiss him. He kisses me back with short kisses over and over, then one long kiss that he holds forever, like he's been waiting his whole life for this moment.

I eagerly press my lips to his. My choice is him. I gladly, willingly relinquish all of my stable, safe plans for myself and I choose Cole. I choose the most incredible man, I choose true love, I choose the Navy life. I want it all.

I can feel Cole's whole body shaking when he pulls back to look me in the eye.

"Hi," I whisper, relishing the feel of his short hair under my hand, the smell of him, the ripple of his muscles as he adjusts his hold on me.

"Hi, Tia," he whispers back. He slowly sets me on my feet. "Oh, it's so good to see you," he says, taking my face in his hands to kiss my forehead. "You're so beautiful."

I can't say anything or I'll cry, so I wrap my arms around him in a tight hug, pressing my forehead to his.

"Hi," he says again, letting go of my waist and possessively taking my hand in his.

"Hi." I give him the biggest grin as we make our way to the baggage claim to grab his sea bag. "How was the flight?" I ask, awkwardly breaking into normal conversation as bags drop onto the carousel.

"Fine. You look so cute in this dress," he says, hugging me from behind, pressing a kiss to my neck. "I want to have you all to myself for the rest of the day."

I turn and trace his jaw with my finger, making his arms break out in goosebumps. I nearly say, "How about for the rest of your life, my love?" but I press a kiss to his cheek instead.

He grabs his sea bag, hoists it over his shoulder, and takes my hand, picking up his backpack in the other. "Lead the way."

I slowly navigate us back to where the Camaro is parked. We stop no less than six times to kiss and look into each other's eyes.

"I can't believe you're here," I whisper, pressing my hand to his cheek. We haven't stopped smiling yet and I don't know if we ever will.

"I love you," Cole says, his hand against the small of my back, pulling me flush against him for another kiss.

I had a whole thing planned, a special location, a mini speech, a declaration, and finally, the three words I've been holding out on saying. But in the mix of excitement and euphoria, they come tumbling out halfway down Section S of the parking garage as I wrap my arms around his neck.

"I love you so much, Cole."

He freezes, looking at me with wide eyes. He turns around to glance around the parking garage, spies the Camaro, and says, "Hold that thought."

Cole parks alongside the dunes of Crown Island, opens my door for me, and practically drags me out onto the beach. We dash across the warm sand, and I giggle at Cole's sense of urgency. The blue skies, the way Cole keeps looking over his shoulder at me with a wide smile, the way my hair and my skirt dance in the wind; it all feels like the happiest version of sunshine and sea breezes.

When we reach the cooler, packed wet sand, I run ahead of Cole, and grab his hands in mine.

"I love you so much," I say, threading my fingers through his.

"How much?" he asks, looking down at me with hope and expectation.

"Enough to fill a lifetime."

He blinks a few times, letting my words sink in. "A lifetime?"

"Yes," I say with a nod. "I want to go where you go, I want to be by your side for all of the wild, beautiful, chaotic life we could live together. I want to be yours, for every goodbye and every homecoming, every tough night, and every accomplishment. I want to be the woman who's there for you through it all."

He looks down at me for a long minute, and I give him time to process what I'm saying.

"Are you serious?" Cole asks, smiling as tears start trickling down his cheeks.

"Completely serious, I mean every word."

Cole takes a few steps back from me, running his hand over his hair, then wiping his eyes.

"I'm really overwhelmed," he says with a laugh. "I'm so happy, but I can't believe it. But I'm so relieved too. And I'm wondering if this is a dream, but it's too good even for a dream. I feel like I need to yell or something."

He takes a deep breath, filling his cheeks, and blows it out in a whoosh. "I've wanted this for so long now." He pauses as his voice shakes with emotion. "Since that day we talked about love. I wanted to kiss you for what felt like forever, and I thought I could live with just that, if it was all you'd give me. But I've been living like a man half-starved until this moment, until you said you love me. Now I am just…overwhelmed and happy and?—"

His eyes darken, focus on me, and before I know what's happening, Cole comes charging towards me, scoops his arms around my legs, and spins us around, up the beach and back towards the dunes, yelling in delight. I squeal and laugh, bracing my hands on his shoulders as he runs in circles. Suddenly, his footing in the sand shifts, and I'm falling backwards with a yelp.

But Cole cradles my fall and ends up on top of me, lying in the sand. He lowers himself until our foreheads are touching. Then, finally, finally, he presses one, long promise of a kiss to my lips. It's a simple kiss that carries the weight of countless meanings and hopes and dreams and plans.

"I love you," he whispers to me.

"I love you," I whisper back.

My hands frame his face, and I meet him in every press of his mouth, matching every fragment of his desire and adoration and hope and love with my own, kissing him until there's a sense of wholeness. Cole's frenzied, passionate kisses relax as he takes his time, settling in like he could keep me here like this for hours. I would not complain.

We eventually end up back at Aunt Mari's house, after Cole did his best to brush all the sand off my back and tidy my hair. I can't wait to show him the collection I did during the art intensive, but as soon as we walk into my mini studio, I'm overwhelmed with gratitude for him. If he wouldn't have let me paint his portrait, I don't know what random side paths my artistic journey would have taken me on. I take his chin in my hand and press a kiss to his mouth. "You mean the world to me."

"We're here to talk about your art," he murmurs against my lips.

"Well, then, check it out," I say with a smile, turning him to look at the wall where my newest collection hangs, filling the space nearly from floor to ceiling.

They're all loosely sketched portraits in vibrant, high contrast colors of random models from the workshop, full of life with expressions of joy and hilarity. They turned out exceptionally well, proving to myself that Cole's portrait wasn't a fluke, I actually had upped my skills with all my practice. My vision came to life as soon as I stopped trying to control everything and granted myself freedom and latitude. I am so proud of what I've accomplished.

"What the…Tia, this is awesome," Cole says, his eyes lingering on each painting with appreciation. I love that he takes his time looking at them, not rushing through his observations. "How do you feel the class went overall?"

"It was definitely an elite level of instruction. We jumped in immediately on day one. Giada does not waste time—she is efficiency personified. There was no time to be nervous, I just had to pick up my brush and start. It forced me to move along at warp speed instead of agonizing over each step."

"These colors are super cool—very eye-catching. They'd make a great gallery collection," Cole says.

I can't stop grinning. How did I ever think I would be okay with letting him go?

"Anyway, just wanted to show you that," I say, hot and blushing.

I turn to leave, and Cole grabs my hand, reeling me into his arms. "I love you. Your mind fascinates me. I tried to draw something for you once and it was a total bust. But you, you create art over and over and over, like it's second-nature and it's incredible."

"I love you," I say, accepting his effuse praise, and ready to dish it back to him. "You're so brilliant and you have a brain like a steel trap. I couldn't memorize half the stuff you know and then you're out there handling physical wounds and real-life people. I would be paralyzed the second someone came to me with a cut and you'd just make comfortable small talk and take care of it like it's no big deal."

"I guess all our kids are going to come to me for band-aids and they'll come to you for artistic help with their science fair displays."

"Oh, we're talking about kids now?" I say with a nervous laugh as Cole swoops one arm around my waist, takes my hand, and starts slow-dancing with me.

"I'm talking about everything with you, Tia. The longest, fullest, most beautiful life."

"Buy a girl dinner first," I whisper, grinning.

"I'm gonna kiss you so you stop talking," Cole says, a deep rumble shaking us as he laughs, then kisses me.