Chapter 27

CHAPTER 27

I'm in the middle of another long, slow shift at Cafe 22, at the end of a slump of a week. As different school districts start the school year and summer is about to make way for fall, the busy lines are dying down.

It's giving me too much time to think.

Since Cole came to dinner and we talked on the beach, I haven't been able to sleep well. I lie in bed staring up at the ceiling and trying to figure out how I could have all the love in the world for him and none of the bravery to back it up. I stay awake all night wondering how I can grow in courage, if I even can get to a point where I would willingly say yes to being with him. Is it possible?

I shake my head and pull out my phone to banish my incessant thoughts about Cole. I need to think about the next steps for my portfolio and I'm curious to see what other portrait artist's collections look like. I head to Instagram, where the algorithm has been feeding me some gorgeous art.

I head to my explore page where I'm accosted by an unexpected, familiar pair of faces. Sutton posted a picture of her and Bryce at a fundraising event for Congressman X. Bryce is standing tall in a dark suit and a red polka dot tie with a smirk on his face. Sutton has her arms around his waist, her lips on his cheek, and one heeled foot in the air. The caption says "Glow-up."

I snort-laugh.

I could be jealous. I could let my insecurities get the better of me. I could leave a scathing comment like, "Enjoy dating the devil."

But I just feel sorry for them. My hypothetical comment turns into something more like, "I hope you know how to sign up for therapy." Or even, "I hope you find your version of happiness." Maybe Sutton will fix Bryce, or she'll be happy to constantly fold herself into a pretzel to fit his ever-shifting idea of who she should be. Whatever happens, I have no part in it.

I have to admit it stings the longer I think about it, my ex-roommate getting together with my ex-boyfriend, but not as much as I thought it would. I'm so far removed from that life, so much happier, so much more fulfilled, it feels like another century, another timeline.

A text from Cole flashes at the top of my screen and I tap on it.

Cole

Super last minute, but I want to go home for the weekend to see my family before I head to HMTT, and I'd love for you to meet them. Would you want to come along? What do you think? It's not anything serious, just a chance for you to meet them. You've already met Carson and he's the most serious.

A rush of emotions overwhelms me, right as I have to take an order for a couple and their toddler. I can barely see through my teary eyes to tap all the right buttons on the iPad. Cole would love for me to meet his family. He wants me to come with him. As soon as I'm done, I text him back.

Tia

This weekend, like tomorrow?

I don't have work for the next three days, it's the perfect window of time to go somewhere with him. But to meet his family?

Cole

Yeah, tomorrow. Does that work?

He's leaving in less than three weeks, I want to soak up as much time with him as I can, he's met Aunt Mari, I've met Carson, he says it's not serious…and a road trip in the Camaro? I answer before I overthink it.

Tia

Yeah, I'm definitely in.

Cole

Oh, cool. I'd really love that. You want me to come down there tonight and we can talk about the plan?

Tia

I mean, if you're not too tired, I'd love to see you.

Cole

Me too. I need a hug.

Tia

Same. See you tonight.

Aunt Mari goes to bed early, way before Cole finally gets off work, showers, and ends up on the front porch in work-out shorts and a long-sleeved t-shirt. His tired smile lights up when I open the door, wearing linen lounge pants and a tank top.

"Hey," he says, coming in and toeing off his shoes. He gives me a very endearing side hug, pressing a kiss to my head, then a quick series of kisses to my lips. He's quiet, and his arm drapes heavy across my shoulders as we stand in the entryway.

"Hi," I say, leaning into him, supporting him as he leans on me. "Missed you."

"Missed you too."

I squeeze my arms around his waist. "You okay?"

His eyes are bloodshot and he shakes his head. Oh, poor guy.

"Are you hungry?"

"No, I stopped and got a burger on the drive down."

"You want anything from the kitchen? I can make you tea or hot chocolate."

"Tea sounds good."

He follows me into the kitchen and sits at the counter as I fill the electric kettle and turn it on. "What's on your mind, osito ?" I ask him gently.

He sighs and drags his hands down his face. "There's a lot of drama at work. To be honest, I don't really want to be going to HMTT, and I said something about it and now my senior doc is chewing me out for it any chance he gets. It's not that I don't want to do the training, it's just…I want to be here right now." He shakes his head. "I'm so tired, haven't been sleeping much."

"Me neither," I admit as I pick two white mugs out of the cabinet.

"You okay, Queenie?"

"Yeah, just, you know…everything."

He huffs a laugh and nods. "Yeah, everything."

I drop herbal winter spice tea bags into the mugs and pour hot water over them as Cole yawns.

"Is it okay if I stay the night here? Is there an extra guest room, or can I sleep on the couch?"

"Mine is the only other bed in the house," I say. "I don't mind sharing. You're a gentleman." He matches my glance with a small smile.

"Any other time, I might be tempted to not be so gentlemanly, but tonight I'm beat. Will Aunt Mari be okay with it though? I don't want to cross any boundaries. But it's either that or go to Luko and Denny's. I'm not driving all the way back to the barracks tonight."

"It's fine." Sharing a bed with him is definitely not as chill as I make it sound, but we're both visibly exhausted, not staring each other down with lustful gazes. Maybe we'll finally sleep well, if we're together.

"It's almost a four-hour drive to get to my hometown," he says. "I have to be back at work early Monday morning. I was thinking, if you're cool with it, we can leave first thing tomorrow morning and then head back Sunday afternoon?"

I slide his mug across the counter to him and stay on the opposite side of the island.

"Yeah, that'll work."

Depending on how early we leave, I might miss Aunt Mari entirely. However, I have a feeling if I leave a note explaining that the handsome Esteban and I are taking a quick trip together, she'll be more than understanding.

I study his face as he takes a tentative sip of his tea. "Your eyebrow is looking better."

"Yeah," he says, gingerly tapping around it. "Isn't it weird how my painting won't have this scar? I can't wait for my mom to see the painting in person. She said she might be able to take some time off work and come see it when I get back from trauma training."

My heart drops and my body goes cold. Oh crap. Shoot, I didn't tell him? How did I forget to tell him? Of course, I have to say something, but I know I'm going to cry. I really didn't tell him?

"Cole," I say, my voice dry. "I…there…" I should have made sure his family came and saw it before I listed it or allowed it to be sold. I should have been more thoughtful. "Um…I forgot to tell you something."

"Tell me what?"

"I'm so sorry, the painting sold," I say, my chin trembling as I lean against the counter and study my hands. "It sold to an anonymous buyer. Lorraine packed and shipped it a few days ago."

She had asked if I wanted to be the one to send it off, but I couldn't bring myself to look at it again or else I'd turn into an art thief, stealing my own painting back. I still haven't been back to the gallery, mostly because I know the blank space in the front window is going to rip my heart out all over again.

"What?" Cole whispers. His incredulous tone completely breaks me.

"It was when you were away." I look up at him with tears coming down my cheeks. "I'm so sorry."

"Oh, Tia, don't be sorry." He gets up and comes around, gathering me in his arms, holding me against his chest. "That's good news, you sold your first painting."

Apparently, I'm not done grieving. Cole rubs my back as I sob again over the loss of my painting, an inanimate object with no soul or beating heart, like it's a dying friend. But he doesn't try to placate me, and I know I don't have to hold back my sadness with him. He can handle it just as well as my happiness.

"I understand. That was a special memory."

I nod, venting my combined exhaustion and sadness into his chest.

"I think bed is the best place for both of us," he says. He kisses my head and keeps one arm around my shoulders as we walk through the darkened house to the guest room. I crawl into my side of the bed, weary and weak, while Cole goes around to the other side.

"I'm going to set an alarm for six tomorrow," he says, tapping on his phone, then setting it on the floor. He slides in under the covers next to me as I sniffle one last time.

"Come here," he says, pulling my back against his chest and draping one heavy arm over me. Within a minute, my whole body relaxes, my muscles feeling a slumbering relief they haven't felt in days.

"Sleep well, Queenie," he whispers. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

He goes so still and quiet, I can hear his heart beating. When the rise and fall of his chest drops into slow, deep breaths, I find myself trying to match it. He's a hot sleeper, making me feel like I'm wrapped up in a human heating blanket, but I stay under his arm and curl even closer to him. I know I'm safe, protected, and cared for, and that makes me peacefully sleepy.

My favorite thing in bed used to be the coldest side of the pillow. Now I think it's the warmth of Cole Slaeden.