Chapter Ten

Cassie

Beep, beep, beep.

I swallow harshly, feeling tightness in my throat. Panic surges through me as I try to figure out where I am. The last thing I remember is Leila's face. Fuck! Leila…

My eyes spring open, my vision blurry.

"Shit," I groan, massaging my temple with my hand.

The unwelcoming white walls threaten to blind me, and the smell of harsh cleaning solvents fills my nostrils. I am at a clinic, that is certain. But who brought me here?

"You are finally awake."

And then I see her.

Leila. Her figure is perched on the sofa opposite me.

I stare at her, confused and terrified. Was the incident in the bathroom not enough? Were my answers so unsatisfactory that she'd come to the clinic to force answers from me?

"How did I get here?" I ask, wincing a bit at my sore throat.

God, I sound so weak and tired.

"You fainted. I brought you here," she deadpans.

I narrow my eyes slightly, taking a quick glance around, noting how serene the environment seems. This all feels off.

"Care to tell me," Leila says, getting up and walking toward me, her mouth pressed in a hard line, "why you were taking those pills?"

Huh?

"What pills?"

"You know what I'm talking about. The pills you were desperate for in the bathroom," she states, her tone flat.

What? Is she dense?

I avert my gaze, staring at the blanket hanging off the bed frame. "I'm sick," I whisper.

"What?"

"I said, I'm sick! You already knew this! Everyone does!" I spit out. "Those pills? They help make me less weak and basically keeps me alive so I don't drop dead."

The words leave a sour taste in my mouth. Over the years, I've come to accept the fact that I'm weak and will always be like that, but admitting it to another person in this kind of situation makes it feel even more shitty.

"They're blockers."

I blink, my mind still foggy. "What?"

Inhaling sharply, Leila explains, "Blockers. The kind they outlawed years ago. You've been popping them like candy, haven't you?"

"What in God's name are you talking about?" I mutter, my heart racing. "Those pills help me. They prevent me from dying!"

"Who told you that?" Leila cocks her head to the side.

"My mom!" My tone is defensive.

"Ever wondered why they don't have a label?" she asks, her eyes assessing me.

"Because, because.." I stutter. "Mom said she only gets refills since it's cheaper than buying a new bottle…"

"No, it's because they're contraband. These are illegal pills that were banned because they don't just hurt you, they can block your wolf." Leila speaks in a measured tone, like she knows she is delivering words that aren't easy to hear.

And they definitely aren't. Block my wolf? What the hell is she saying?

Shaking my head, I try to make Leila see reason. She must be mistaken. My mother would have never willingly given me such pills if she knew how dangerous they were.

"Look, there must be a sort of misunderstanding. Those pills have been part of my life ever since I could remember my own name. If they were blockers like you said they are, don't you think I would have died?"

"Actually, you would have."

"What?"

Leila ignores me and moves forward, gripping the edge of the bed as she sniffs the air. "Oh… I think you're starting your first heat."

I scoff, amused by the absurdity of the situation. "Is this your way of trying to insult me, Leila? I have never had a heat period in my life!"

My fists tighten into a ball beside me. Despite how nonchalant I might seem about it, not having a heat period has been one of my major insecurities for all my life, and having Leila crack a joke about it rubs me the wrong way.

"Moon goddess above! It's like talking to a brick wall," Leila growls, a frown marring her face. "Of course you wouldn't have had a heat period before when you were taking those pills! They suppress your body's natural functions. You're having your first heat. That's probably why you went after Ares. Your body is rebelling against the pills. I'm guessing you were late taking them, and your body is now free to do what it needs to do."

I stare at her, disbelief crashing over me. Heat cycle. The primal urge that drives shifters during the mating season. Of course, I've heard of it, and I've witnessed everyone else going through their heat cycle. Everyone except me .

I always felt left out, so I usually hid myself in Jeremiah's bookshop, immersing myself in books during mating season.

"But…"

"Listen carefully," Leila interrupts me. "I brought you to this private clinic because it was the best bet for your safety. Anywhere else, they would have arrested you."

Before I can manage a response, her phone buzzes.

She glances down at it, and her face tightens. She seems to have forgotten all about me, and I can see sudden anger in her eyes.

"Are… are you okay?" I don't know what possesses me to ask her that. It's not like we're close enough that she would tell me.

She looks up as though remembering that I am there.

"I'm fine." She grits her teeth and stands up. "I have to go. But remember Cassie, take care of yourself so you aren't caught next time hanging off another woman's man."

And then, she's gone, leaving me with my unraveling world and a myriad of thoughts.

Blockers, outlawed, heat period… the thoughts all continue to race around in my head. My thoughts are spiraling out of control. Could my mother really have known about the pills? Could she really have knowingly suppressed my ability to shift, making me the subject of every joke?

Could she really have subjected me to a life of mockery and mediocrity? My heart says no, but my head, my head…. it says another thing. Leila has no reason to lie to me. She literally just saved my life. Could what she told me really be true?

Don't be stupid, Cassie. You know the truth now, my subconscious mutters solemnly. Deep down within me, in the logical part of my brain, everything points at my mother.

There's no way that she was unaware of the effects of the pill she constantly broke her back to pay for.

But why? For what reason?

It makes me wonder if there are any other secrets she might be keeping from me and why she gave me blockers, camouflaging them as something else.

I would normally trust my mother. But right now, I don't know who to trust anymore or what to believe.

My gaze falls on the shiny little device resting on my purse across the room on the sofa—my phone.

I need to speak with Eric. Surely, he must have the correct explanation for all of this since he went with one of the last two pills in order to get a prescription for another bottle.

The bed makes a creaking sound as I get out of it. Placing my feet on the cold wooden floor, I walk hurriedly to the sofa, grab my phone, and dial Eric's number with my heart in my mouth. My heart feels like it wants to burst out of my chest as I wait for him to answer.

"Holy fuck, Cassie! Where are you?" His voice crackles through the line, laced with concern and frustration.

"Eric," I whisper, tears blurring my vision. "I need you."

I hear a bit of a shuffling sound and the next voice I hear is Jeremiah's. "Where are you?" he asks firmly.

I sniffle, wiping my nose with the back of my hand. So much for not crying anymore.

"I have no idea," I blurt out helplessly. "I mean, I fainted, and the next thing I knew, I found myself in this private clinic somewhere . Leila brought me here. "

Eric chips in, "Just send us your location Cassie. We're gonna come get you."

"Okay." I nod, even though they can't see me.

Everything will be fine… I think.

**

After thirty minutes of staring at the wall and willing myself not to think about the existential crisis that I'm in right now, the door bursts open and I see Jeremiah's tense face. Eric is hot on his heels.

Their presence immediately soothes my restless soul.

"Cassie," Jeremiah calls out softly, his eyebrows pinched together.

Whether it's my red-rimmed eyes or my tear-stained face and trembling lips, I don't know, but they both decide to give me a hug. I'm glad they decided to.

I press my face against Jeremiah's chest, his presence calming me, while Eric's grip on my shoulder keeps me grounded.

"I'm so sorry," Eric whispers, planting a kiss on my forehead.

"What about the pills?" I ask, noting the way their bodies tense up. Something is wrong.

I withdraw from the hug, looking up first at Eric, then Jeremiah. The two boys have different personalities. Jeremiah is always calm, gentle, and firm, while Eric is funny and laid-back. However, there are some undeniable similarities between them.

Both Eric and Jeremiah make a certain kind of face when they have to break news that will probably hurt someone's feelings. Their faces scrunch up a tiny bit, and their eyebrows furrow together. They also usually press their lips together.

That's the kind of face they're both making right now as they stare down at me.

Shit .

I square up my shoulders and look them dead in the eyes. "Whatever it is, I can handle it," I say as firmly as I can, ignoring the turmoil within me.

The air is buzzing with tension. I subtly rub my sweaty palms against the hospital gown, ignoring the sweat forming at the nape of my neck, despite the air conditioning that is on full blast in the room.

"The pills are contraband, Cassie," Jeremiah announces, his grave whisper filling the silence.

No, no, no. This can't be true.

"We went to a pharmacist Jeremiah knows, and he took just one look at the pills and… apparently, you've been taking blockers, Cassie," Eric chimes in.

I gasp loudly, losing the feeling in my legs for a bit.

"Shit! Cassie!" Jeremiah exclaims, leading me to my bed.

"I'm okay," I mumble, my voice trembling. I close my eyes for a bit, forcing back the tears that are about to drop from my eyes.

"They're not just blockers. They might as well be poison!" Eric mutters, an unfamiliar anger tainting his voice. "Why was your mother buying those pills for you? We went to see her, and she clearly knew what we were talking about. She knows what she's been doing to you!"

"Why would my mom do that? She loves me! There has to be a mistake!" I don't know what to say. I can't believe my mom would do that to me. It makes no sense.

Eric frowns at me. "Cassie, why would I lie about your mom? You're not safe with her! Jeremiah, tell her!"

Eric is angry, but I look at Jeremiah, wondering why he's so quiet. "What are you thinking, Jeremiah?"

His green eyes are piercing behind his horn-rimmed glasses as he stares at me. "I don't know. I think you need to have an honest conversation with your mother," he suggests gently, his thumb rubbing circles against my hand.

"What?" Eric looks like he thinks he didn't hear his brother right.

Jeremiah sighs. "I saw how Miss Munt acted when we were over there. It was suspicious, but at the same time, she seemed to still be her sweet and kind self. It would be unfair to judge her without hearing her side of the story."

Eric calms down and seems to be thinking. The room goes silent for a while, allowing me to process my thoughts. I release a slow breath, the reality of the situation finally dawning on me.

"Does this mean that I might be able to shift?" I ask, almost shyly. It's a stupid thing to ask, given everything that is happening, but ever since Leila mentioned it, it's been on my mind.

Eric's mouth tilts into a little smile, his gaze softening. "Yes," he nods. "It is possible."

"Uh, I wouldn't want us to get ahead of ourselves yet. Let her speak to her mother first, hmm?" Jeremiah says, with a tight smile on his face. He's always the voice of reason.

"Okay," I nod firmly. "Time to go have a conversation with my mother."