Chapter 23

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

W ith less than a week until the ball, Daniel paced back and forth in his study. Emily had all but forbidden his presence in his own drawing room each day that Eliza had come for the last week. It didn't help that Adam had been keeping him busy throughout the days. Eliza had dined twice since the first time she'd been invited, but on each occasion the only thing that was discussed was the ball.

It was confusing, considering that he was the one who had asked for some time to work through his brokenness. Yet, it didn't seem to be getting better. He missed spending time with her, and blast, he could no longer think of her only as Miss Montrose. She was Eliza. He wasn't sure what to do, but he knew that he didn't want to burden her with his struggles and his problems .

"You're going to wear the floor boards out with all your pacing," Adam said, an amused look on his face.

"Perhaps it's time to redo the flooring then," Daniel said, continuing his pattern, though it did nothing to cause his racing heart to stop.

"What has you so worked up?" Adam asked.

"The ball is less than a week away."

"Yes, that is how a calendar works and counts down to a particular day." Adam smiled.

"It's not amusing. I should have never agreed to this lunacy."

"As I recall, you didn't actually agree to it."

"Exactly. And if invitations hadn't already come back with acceptances, I should cancel the entire thing right now."

Adam chuckled. "Not if you value your head. My wife would not take kindly to you ruining her plans."

Daniel ran a hand through his hair. "I know. I know. And when all of this started, I convinced myself it would be fine, because you and Emily are the ones actually hosting, and I wouldn't have to dance."

Adam scoffed. "You can't be serious. This is your home, and whether you thought about it or not, Emily was bound to rope you into being the host. Dancing is one of the duties of a host."

"Yes, but I forgot that and wrongly assumed that it would be perfectly acceptable for me to mingle and socialize instead of participating in the dancing."

Adam's eyes grew wide. "I see. And you realize the error of your ways now?"

Daniel scowled. "Yes, at breakfast when your wife informed me that I would be opening the dancing. Not just participating in at least every other set but opening it."

"That is fair. It is your house, after all. It's proper for you to lead the way in setting the example—"

"Adam, can't you see that I am not able to do that?"

"Why?"

"You know my past. I can barely remember societal norms, and almost nothing of dancing before the War."

A look of sympathy passed over Adam's face. "Daniel. Emily and I are your family. She believes she is doing you a service by helping you through some of that. If you do not wish to dance every dance, I'm sure she will understand. But perhaps it would be good for you to open the ball."

"Adam, I cannot dance anymore. I don't remember the steps. My scars are hideous, my shoulder is limited in the movements that are comfortable. It will be a humiliation to dance at my own house. I do not wish to make a fool of myself. I will socialize, and I will engage with people and be introduced back into society, but I do not wish to dance."

Adam surveyed him. "You are in earnest? You do not remember the dancing steps? Years of dancing masters?"

He felt so defeated. Just one more reason why he was broken—why it was impossible to pursue something with someone as lovely as Eliza. "It was all drilled out of me in the war. I was present for one song at the assembly and it was terrifying to watch. I could not recall nor guess the next moves. It is not just simply that I am out of practice, Adam. It's more than that."

Adam nodded. "Then let's go speak to my wife about your concerns. Perhaps she and I could open the dance for you. Emily does not wish to cause you distress, she is only trying to help you. Let us go and explain your circumstance. I am sure she will understand."

Daniel nodded. "Thank you, Adam. I appreciate your advice."

Adam nodded and led the way out of the study and to the drawing room. "Emily, we have something of great importance to discuss with you. Daniel cannot remember any dance steps. We must help him."

Daniel followed Adam into the room, but to his dismay, it was not Emily in the room, but Eliza. Daniel's eyes widened, his pulse pounding at the sight of her. She was radiant in her light pink gown. How he had missed her this last week. He wanted to tell her that, but refrained. He'd asked for time to solve his own problems. He could not give up on that resolve just yet—it was too important for him to work to find healing before he courted Eliza.

Adam looked around. "Where is my wife?"

Eliza smiled beautifully. "She just left to retrieve something. "

In a few moments, Emily was in the room. "Yes, Adam, what can I help you with?"

"Daniel cannot remember any dancing steps. We must help him, Emily," Adam said, repeating his earlier request. "I believe we could figure out a way to make this work."

Emily nodded. "I think all you need is some dancing lessons."

Daniel shook his head. "No, that doesn't solve the problem."

"I think it could be just the thing. And thankfully, we have a very expert dancer in our midst," Emily said, smiling widely.

Adam nodded. "It is true, Daniel. You know my wife is an excellent dancer."

Emily laughed. "Thank you, dear. But I shall play the pianoforte and call the steps. I was speaking of Eliza. She has had quite the experience in training, as I have learned this past week." Emily went immediately to the pianoforte. "What do you say, Daniel?"

"I am unsure about this," he said, looking into Eliza's eyes. He did not want to make a fool of himself in front of her—especially not in front of her.

Eliza smiled up at him and took a small step closer. "It is a dance, Captain, not a battlefield."

"At the moment, I'm not sure which one is more terrifying." He gave her a small smile.

Her eyes glimmered. "Are you worried I'm going to do you bodily harm? I assure you I am a much better dancer than that—your feet are perfectly safe with me."

Her teasing put him a little more at ease. "I do not fear you stepping on my toes, Miss Montrose, but you may fear for your own."

She gave him a genuine smile, seeming completely unconcerned with his warning. "I should be happy to help you, Captain, if you would like?" She held his gaze, searching his eyes.

He swallowed, but his pulse raced faster than before. "Thank you, Miss Montrose."

Emily clapped her hands. "There is no time like the present for solving anxieties, Daniel. Adam, help him move the settee so there will be room for them to dance."

In no time, the center of the room was cleared, and Daniel found himself standing opposite Eliza, his focus wavering between her encouraging smile and the task at hand. Emily sat at the pianoforte, her fingers poised over the keys, and began to play the music slowly, calling out the steps as they started.

Daniel tried to keep his concentration on the intricate steps, but he couldn't help the way his attention drifted to Eliza. She moved with effortless grace, her skirts swishing lightly around her ankles as she glided through the steps. He was aware of every small detail—the way her hair framed her face, the soft glow of her skin in the candlelight, and the delicate fragrance that clung to her like the blooms of her garden, only more intoxicating. It was lavender mixed with vanilla—a gentle, but alluring floral scent.

As he struggled to keep his footing, Daniel's foot landed squarely on Eliza's. He cringed, his cheeks warming with embarrassment. "I'm terribly sorry," he muttered, glancing down at his feet as if willing them to cooperate.

Eliza's laugh was soft, forgiving. "You're doing just fine, Captain. Truly." Her eyes glistened with a kindness that cut through his frustration, making him feel lighter, even in his clumsiness. "It's only a dance. We're meant to enjoy it, remember?"

Her kind words, far from fully soothing his embarrassment, only made him more determined. He vowed to himself that he wouldn't dance with her again until he had committed every step to memory, until he could lead her without the constant fear of treading on her delicate feet. She deserved better than his awkward attempts.

Emily and Adam soon joined them, moving through the steps as couples, which helped Daniel visualize the flow of the dance. But still, his focus repeatedly returned to Eliza. Each time they turned, each time he placed his hand at her waist, he was acutely aware of her—the subtle rise and fall of her breath, the soft firmness of her waist beneath his palm, a fragile but resilient line that grounded him amid the swirling confusion of steps. She felt so slight and yet so steady, as if she could be blown away by a breeze but chose to stand firm.

During a turn, his hand brushed against hers, and he noted the way her fingers felt—small, delicate, but with a surprising strength in her grip. She met his eyes with a smile that reached deep into him, disarming his every defense. He found himself momentarily forgetting the steps as he focused on the way her eyes sparkled with an unspoken joy, a light that seemed to make the room warmer, brighter.

As they completed another turn, Eliza leaned in slightly, her voice a gentle murmur meant just for him. "You're catching on quicker than you think, you know. If you're not careful, you'll have the whole room convinced you've been doing this your entire life."

Daniel chuckled, the sound low and a little strained from his concentration. "You're far too generous, Miss Montrose. I feel as though my feet have minds of their own."

Eliza's smile widened, her gaze warm. "Perhaps you're thinking too much. The music, the steps—they're meant to guide you. Sometimes it's best to just let go."

Let go. The idea seemed both foreign and tantalizing. Daniel allowed himself a small smile. "I suppose I've never been very good at that," he admitted, the honesty surprising even him.

Eliza tilted her head, her expression softening. "Then maybe it's time you let someone else take the lead, if only for a little while."

Emily went back to the pianoforte and played again. As they navigated through the dance, Daniel's movements grew more confident, his steps less hesitant. But it wasn't the familiarity of the steps that steadied him; it was Eliza. With every turn, every moment his hand found the curve of her waist or felt the flutter of her breath, the distance between them seemed to narrow. He pulled her closer than was absolutely necessary during one of the sequences, feeling the slight intake of her breath, a tiny gasp that sent a shiver through him. The sound was almost imperceptible, but to him, it was like a note held in the air, resonating with something deep inside.

Eliza didn't pull away; instead, she met his gaze, her eyes searching his with a curiosity that mirrored his own. He was playing with some dangerous fire. It was clear that she felt the same pull, the same inexplicable connection that seemed to spark whenever they were close. Her presence was both calming and electrifying, a paradox that left him feeling unmoored but not unpleasantly so. He was aware of the slight tremor in his hands, the way his heart pounded, not just from the exertion of the dance but from the simple act of holding her.

Emily's voice calling out the steps faded into the background as Daniel's senses honed in on Eliza. The soft feel of her fingers entwined with his, the warmth of her body just a breath away—it all combined into a simmering tension that was both thrilling and unnerving. He wanted to speak, to say something that would capture the enormity of what he was feeling, but words failed him.

When Emily finally called for a pause, Daniel felt both relief and reluctance. He had absorbed the steps as best he could, but his thoughts were far from the dance itself. He released Eliza's hand, the absence of her touch immediate and keenly felt. As she moved away to speak with Emily, Daniel stood there, catching his breath, his gaze still lingering on her. She was a vision of grace and kindness, far more captivating than he had allowed himself to admit.

As they resumed their practice with Emily back at the pianoforte, Daniel found his resolve firming. He would learn these steps, not just to avoid embarrassment, but so that the next time he held Eliza in a dance, he could do so with confidence. She had brought lightness to the room, a glow that outshone even the candles' warm flicker, and he knew he wanted to be worthy of standing beside her, in dance and in all else that might lie ahead.

As the hour wore on, Daniel's head filled with the steps of three different dances, each blending into the other. But more than anything, it was the memory of Eliza's soft smile and the feel of her in his arms that stayed with him.

But he was unsure how to balance his feelings with his previous resolve. He needed to figure out several things, the least of which was dancing, before he made an effort to court her.

Emily looked up, a smile on her lips. "I think that is excellent progress for today. We will resume another day, but for the rest of the afternoon, I must claim Eliza as my companion, as we have to discuss the final preparations for the ball."

"Thank you for all of your hard work," Daniel said to both Emily and Eliza.

"It's our pleasure," Eliza said.

"Thank you for helping me with the dance steps," Daniel said. "You must think I am quite uncoordinated."

"On the contrary, you are a skilled dancer," Eliza offered.

"You lie, Miss Montrose."

Her eyes widened in surprise. "That is most ungenerous of you, Captain. I do nothing of the sort. And you are a skilled dancer, even if you do not remember all the steps."

He smiled at her. "Thank you."

She bit her bottom lip, and Daniel's awareness of her mouth and very beautiful pink lips were in the forefront of his mind. "I would be happy to help you again, Captain."

Emily clapped her hands together. "That is an excellent idea, Eliza. Let's have another dancing instruction class tomorrow afternoon after we finish our planning. "

"Thank you both. Adam and I shall take our leave. We have other things we must attend to right now."

Emily made a shooing motion with her hands. "Yes, please take your leave. We have very important things to finalize, and you are too much of a distraction."

Daniel raised his eyebrows, but Eliza only blushed when she met his gaze.

The next morning at breakfast, Daniel found Emily and Adam already in the morning room, discussing something in soft tones. They both stopped when he entered the room.

"Good morning," Daniel said to his guests.

"Good morning, Daniel. I was just talking to Adam about the dancing lesson for today. I think if you arrive by half-past three, that will give Eliza and me plenty of time for our other tasks."

Daniel sighed. He wished he was more involved in the planning so that he would have an excuse to be in Eliza's … er … Miss Montrose's presence more. It was quite vexing to have her daily in his house without him having very much interaction with her. He missed the times they'd spent in the gardens together and gone horseback riding together. Emily spoke so highly of Eliz a and they truly had become such great friends, but Daniel wished he could be there as well. If only Adam didn't keep him so busy. He was nowhere closer to figuring out how to rid himself from the nightmares.

But there was another thing weighing on him. "Emily, I appreciate your help, but I would rather not dance with Miss Montrose today."

Surprise filled Emily's face. "Why ever not, Daniel? The two of you made such a handsome dancing couple yesterday. Wouldn't you agree, Adam?"

Adam smiled adoringly at his wife. It was almost sickening how perfectly they complemented each other. "I always agree with you, my love."

Emily laughed. "That is not true in the slightest, but I am glad for this moment that you agree with me on this." She kissed her husband without any sign of apology, and Daniel looked away, not wishing to intrude on such a private moment.

After Daniel had filled a plate at the sideboard, Emily turned to him, a line forming between her eyebrows. "Daniel, I still do not understand why you wouldn't want to dance with Eliza today."

Daniel swallowed. There was no reason to hide his true feelings from Adam and Emily. "It's not that I don't want to dance with her, it's the fact that I feel inadequate. I would rather not dance with her when I am not feeling proficient."

"She is not judging you, Daniel," Emily said kindly .

"I know that, Emily. And I appreciate the help you are trying to provide, but I would much rather have a set with her at the ball where I feel confident in my skills, even while I do not feel confident in matters of the heart. Today I am not confident in either. And I care too much about her to mess this up."

Emily's eyes widened, her features softening. "You really admire her, don't you, Daniel?"

Daniel nodded. "More than I can at present put into words."

"I knew it."

"But I can't trust myself with that yet."

Emily smiled and looked at her husband. "How can we help?"

"Please do not say anything to her for the present time. I still need to get this sorted in my head. I have too much weighing on me. I don't wish for Miss Montrose to be brought into the horrors that I still continue to bear from the war."

"She might understand, Daniel," Adam said softly.

Daniel shook his head. "Some things I will have to face on my own. I do not wish to risk it."

"What would be helpful to you, Daniel?"

"Could we work on the dancing steps, just the three of us, this morning? I should like to be more proficient than I am at present, and I would much rather dance with Miss Montrose when I am not concerned and focused on the steps. "

Adam and Emily both nodded. "Of course, Daniel," Adam said. "We will help you do that."

"We will," Emily said. "But Eliza is not a wilting daisy, Daniel. She took your missed steps in stride."

"I know that. But I still would rather dance with her once I've learned the steps fully."

"I think that is a very sweet sentiment," Emily said, taking a bite of her scone.

Daniel took a deep breath, letting out some of the anxieties that had built up in him since yesterday. This morning, he would focus hard on dancing. It would be much easier to learn the steps and remember them when he wasn't having to look into Eliza's beautiful eyes and be distracted by her very kissable lips.

He would save his dancing time with her for the ball, when he would be able to impress her with his newfound skills. And if he missed a step because he was distracted by her beauty during the ball, then so be it. He would confidently miss all of his steps if she was the reason he forgot how to dance.