Chapter 45

Dimitri seemed to be speaking from a million miles away, and Lauren tried to focus, tried to speak. But it was all—too much. Not only her father’s words, but the way he’d looked at her, looked at her mother. This man who had been invincible in her eyes had been reduced to unfeigned, heartbreaking tears. And then he’d left with her mother, the two of them locked in the circle of their mutual love.

Which left her the last woman standing. Exactly the way she’d planned to be.

And that made her feel unbelievably alone.

Dimitri spoke again, and she came back to the room in a rush, her mind suddenly jolting back online. “What?” She blinked up at him. Had he gotten taller? Somehow, he seemed...taller. “I’m sorry, what did you say?”

“I asked you, what role do you want me to play in your life?”

Lauren tried to understand him, but he was saying words that made no sense. “You don’t have to play any role in my life, Dimitri. You’ve done more than anyone could possibly ask.”

“That’s not what I asked. What role would you want me to play? Would you prefer for me to remain your bodyguard?” He smiled as he watched her, as if he was enjoying some private joke. “Your lover?”

Embarrassment flared through Lauren. Why was he saying this? What game was he playing? “You don’t have to do anything.”

“Again, not what I asked.” He leaned down and lifted her chin with his fingers, then brushed his lips across her mouth. The taste of him, honey and heat and Mediterranean spices, speared through her pain, her loss. “What do you want of me?”

Lauren closed her eyes to compose herself. Dimitri’s job was finished, and so was hers. They both needed to move on to what came next. She knew that.

And yet, she couldn’t face the reality of that “next” quite yet. Her parents were handled; her friends were asleep. The future was on hold for everyone else in the stillness of the night. Why couldn’t it be on hold for her, too? Why couldn’t she simply imagine a future with this man, an impossible, ridiculous future that she could wake up from in the morning? The morning was so far away, after all.

“Why?” she blinked her eyes open again and managed a smile, trying to match her tone to his. She could do “light.” She could do “fun.” “What do you want to give me?”

“Everything.” Dimitri’s intensity wiped the smile from her face and she straightened, startled. “Anything, all of it. Whatever you will allow me to give. You’re the reason I was born into this life, Lauren. The only reason. And I want you, however you are willing to be in my life. I’ll take you as your bodyguard, as your lover, or as your friend—or all of them. As long as I can be near you, protect you. Because though Henry’s gone, there is no denying the light that shines from you, a light that only grows brighter as you draw near. There will always be someone who will want to dim that light. Who will want to make you feel less than what you are. And I want to always be there to ensure that doesn’t happen.”

What is he saying?“You can”t mean that.” Lauren didn’t recognize her own voice. “You barely know me.”

“Then it will be my pleasure to get to know you better. Starting now.”

“But this is impossible.”

“No.”

He took her hands, which she hadn’t realized were flapping in front of her, and held them between his rough palms. The raw vitality of him radiated through her, and she held still, transfixed by the fierceness of his gaze.

“Flying to the moon and back in a single night is impossible. Loving you is not. You’re mine to protect, now. You might not understand that, might not know how to handle it, but that doesn’t change its truth.”

“Dimitri—”

“You”re mine to defend, Lauren. However, and whenever I can.” Dimitri’s words were low and intense and impossible to ignore. “Mine to cherish in my heart, whether you’re a breath or a lifetime away. Mine to honor, whether you’re by my side or you never let me see you again. Mine to love.”

“Love? Who said anything about love?” There were tears in her eyes. Why were there tears? This was a conversation like any conversation. A negotiation, even. Nothing more. She should hold her face just so, tilt her body slightly to an angle, fix this particular expression on her face…

Except the tears were ruining everything.

“Why are you crying?” Dimitri rumbled, drifting a calloused thumb across her cheek.

“I don’t know! You’re doing this all wrong. You’re doing everything all wrong!” She shook her head, trying to make sense of his words. “You can’t love me, Dimitri, you can’t be with me. You have a life. A service to the military, to your people—to Ari. I can’t take that from you. I won’t take that from you.”

“Then you can have a home here.”

“Yes, I—what?”

He smiled, so gorgeously full of life that it was breathtaking. “You’ll have a home here, in the beautiful lush land of O?ros, a home that flows down to the sea. Where the skies are endless and the water is the blue and green of a million jewels trapped beneath its waves.”

”I have work to do...” Her voice faltered. Is he really offering this?

“And I have time, Lauren Grant. However you want me in your life, I’ll be there. I will keep you safe. I will help you reach whatever goals you fix your heart upon, and I will love you more with every passing day. It’s as simple as that.”

“But...” She searched his face, struggling to understand. “You can’t mean any of this.”

“I’m pretty sure I can.” He smiled. “There will be some things I need to attend to. Some contracts to honor and others I must break. But if you don’t mind, I feel there’s some better use of our time than negotiating the terms of this deal you believe is so impossible.”

And he kissed her.