Chapter 19

19

A dam woke up to the tweeting of birds and a weight on his chest.

He looked down to find Emily lying across him, her face relaxed in sleep. Her hair tumbled over his chest and down onto the floor, gleaming in the weak sunlight that streamed through the windows.

He took the opportunity to examine her face. Her skin was smooth and white as marble. Her long eyelashes rested lightly on her cheeks, and her full lips were slightly parted in sleep.

She was beautiful. He had never seen anything so lovely in all his life—he couldn't look away.

Fantastic, now I have feelings for me bride-to-be, and what is more, I completely lost control last night.

Emily murmured in her sleep, and Adam quickly shifted her onto the floor. She stirred a little but otherwise didn't wake up as he rolled her onto her side. He frowned at the chill of the stone floor.

The fire had died down in the early hours of the morning, but the coals were still glowing in the grate. He rose, careful not to jostle her, and carefully placed a couple of logs in the hearth.

The fire crackled a little as he blew over the coals, and a flame sparked against one of the pieces of bark and began to spread across the logs. He didn't want Emily to be cold. She might be only a means to an end, but a man should care for his tools. Shouldn't he?

Glancing down at the sleeping woman, he tried to get a handle on his emotions.

Me clan doesnae need this. I shouldnae be worried about her. I should be focused on bringin' back me sister and bein' the Laird me clan deserves.

He moved softly around the room, picking up his discarded jacket and cloak. Everything was still damp from the night before, but it was drier than it had been. He bent down to pull the blanket further over Emily's body as the fire finally started to burn more brightly again.

He stood back, staring down at her, feeling lost.

I shouldnae have touched her like that . What she said was right. I am nae being fair to her.

Her words to him the night before had struck him hard.

Why couldn't he leave her alone? By rights, she should be a stranger in his castle. They shouldn't have interacted much at all until the wedding was upon them.

Instead, Emily had gotten under his skin without him realizing it. She didn't take no for an answer and fought him at every opportunity. Whoever her father was, Adam wanted to either rage at the man or shake his hand. He'd raised an independent and fearsome woman.

Adam almost groaned aloud as he realized he had been standing in the lodge for several minutes just watching her sleep. He remembered the taste of her lips and the scent of her hair, dampened by the sweet-smelling rain and laced with a hint of the moorlands he loved so much.

He knew he should leave. He wanted to stay. He stood silently above her, breathing heavily, fighting with himself until he lost the battle completely.

He knelt beside her, leaning down to kiss her forehead before he rose and walked swiftly out of the lodge.

He would return to the castle, find his horse, and come back for her.

I need some time alone to clear me head.

It took a second before Emily remembered where she was.

She opened her eyes to a pointed wooden ceiling and a cold, unforgiving floor.

The events of the night before came flooding back all too soon. As she processed what she had allowed to happen, and who she had allowed it to happen with, she looked around to discover that she was alone.

Sitting up and pulling the blanket around her, she was surprised to find the fire had been rekindled and was burning merrily.

Where is he?

She felt strangely bereft to be left alone following everything they had shared the night before. It was a stark reminder that she was just a convenience for him. Adam had probably woken up beside countless women before, and he likely didn't feel any obligation to stay beside her until she woke up.

Emily shivered, but not due to the cold.

Unwilling to remain in her borrowed léine any longer, she grimaced as she glanced at her dress. It was still covered in mud and twigs from her run through the woods, but she had little choice. She could hardly return to the castle in just a man's shirt.

Checking the windows for any passersby in the silent woods, she stripped off the léine and tugged the sodden dress back on. It wasn't easy to tie the bodice by herself, but it would have to do. She brushed her hair with her fingers as best as she could, twisting it into a knot.

As she made her way outside, the forest was starkly different from the night before. The trees were no longer imposing shadows, and everything seemed far less intimidating than it had in the darkness.

It was the kind of fresh morning that only ever followed a storm. The scent of wet earth hung heavily in the air as Emily looked around her. It was far more inviting in the light of day, lush and green and refreshing.

Was it all a dream? It doesnae feel real somehow.

The sound of a horse's hooves approaching made her look up as Adam appeared through the trees, leading Buck beside him. He looked impossibly handsome in his loosened jacket, his unruly hair flowing over his shoulders.

The sight of him without a shirt the night before flooded her mind, and her cheeks flushed alarmingly. Never in her life had a man appealed to her so much. She would happily stare at his muscular torso from dawn until dusk.

Perhaps when we are married, I can at least enjoy looking at him .

Adam was clearly surprised to see her awake and quickened his steps as their eyes met across the forest.

"When did ye wake up?" he asked.

There was tension in the air between them that had not been there the night before.

"Nae long ago," she said. "What time is it?"

"Early. Only a few hours after dawn. We should head back to the castle—ye need a hot bath and clean clothes."

"Where were ye?" she asked, grappling to find the equilibrium she had felt between them the night before.

"I went to find the horse. This fool had run all the way back to the castle and caused a riot. Theo's been up all night searchin' for us, and nay one kenned why Buck returned without his rider. I think me man-at-arms believed ye'd killed me."

Emily didn't laugh. Adam's tone was off—deliberately making light of their situation as though he didn't want to discuss what they had shared.

Standing before him now, she couldn't believe the sensual nature of their time together. This man was stiff and cold, uninterested in anything except being away from her. She could almost feel his need to get away, and it made her heart stutter in her chest.

"Come on," he said quietly.

Emily could do nothing but comply. He helped her up onto the horse and then pulled on Buck's reins to walk back through the forest.

"Ye willnae ride?" she asked in dismay.

He had been perfectly happy to ride the horse together when they first met. But now he chose to walk beside her rather than touch her again.

"Me sister willnae thank me for usin' Buck that way," he muttered. "I'm fine as I am."

Emily pursed her lips, her knuckles white against the saddle. It was even colder as the wind whipped at her dress.

"Ye arenae shiverin' anymore, lass…"

They walked on silently, and Emily watched the lush forest pass them by, wishing she had kept moving through the night and was halfway home by now.

Adam walked steadily beside Buck, trying to keep his mind on what he needed to do as they neared the castle.

Theo had been beside himself with worry, as had Moira when Buck had returned without him. He was glad, in a way, that he hadn't told Theo where he was headed.

If Theo had searched the woods, he would have found their little home away from home, and then Adam would have had far more explaining to do.

"I wanted to thank ye," Emily said suddenly.

The soft clop of the horse's hooves was a steady drumbeat in the air between them as they emerged from the forest.

"Ye didnae have to come and find me last night, and I would have been lost if ye hadnae, so thank ye." Her tone was very prim today, as though she were suppressing her rage.

Adam shrugged. "I had to get ye back."

He couldn't think of anything more to say, and as the castle loomed ahead of them, he was grateful that they were almost home. His heart was thundering in his chest just from her proximity. When he had seen her that morning, it had taken everything in him not to shove her back inside the hunting lodge and have his way with her right then.

Something about the dress, coupled with the darkness of her hair, made her eyes the most vivid green he'd ever seen. Their otherworldly light had returned to them, and she reminded him even more of a goddess than she had before.

"Ye are quiet this mornin'," Emily said, eventually.

They had been walking in silence for much of the way, and now her words sounded like an accusation.

"Aye, well, there isnae much to say," he muttered.

"Do ye nae wish to talk about what happened last night?"

Adam was so astonished that she was bold enough to bring that up that he couldn't find any words to respond.

"Or would ye just prefer that we return to the castle in complete silence?"

"We kept each other warm, and now we're goin' back."

A weighted silence followed that statement, and then Emily spoke, her voice as sharp as glass. "What did ye say?"

"Did ye nae hear me?"

"We kept each other warm? "

Adam's grip tightened on the horse's reins.

Take it back. Tell her ye can still taste her skin on yer tongue. Tell her that ye ? —

"Aye," he said gravely.

If he could put distance between them, it was less likely that he would lose control again. If that meant she was furious with him, then so be it.

"So the only reason anything happened between us last night was because ye were tryin' to keep us both warm?"

"Of course."

They were nearing the castle now, and Emily didn't speak again until they were approaching the gates.

A barrage of servants awaited them, just as Adam had ordered. A hot bath would be waiting for Emily in her room. At least she could fume at him while she got the heat back into her bones.

The silence between them was becoming oppressive, and Adam decided to put things to rest once and for all.

"Listen, lass, if we're married, we'll do our duty and then move on with our lives, just as I said."

"Our duty?"

"Aye. We'll produce an heir for the clan, and then ye can do as ye please."

"I see." Her voice was cold.

As they passed through the castle gates, the servants began walking forward to attend to them, but before he could turn to assist her, Emily had already jumped down from the saddle.

Adam turned to her in confusion as she crossed her arms over her chest and glowered at him. "Quite right, M'Laird. Seein' as ye came to find me last night, ye have proven I can trust ye." Adam's stomach dropped. "So, I dinnae think ye need to follow me rule any longer."

"And what is that supposed to mean?" he asked.

"It means that we dinnae need to have dinner together to get acquainted with one another. In fact, I dinnae wish to see ye again until the day of the weddin'. I think that would make things easier for both of us, considerin' I am clearly just an inconvenience that gets in yer way." She leaned forward, hissing under her breath so only he could hear her. "And ye will never touch me again."

With that, she spun on her heel and stalked away, the maids hurrying after her.

"Emily!" he called, sudden desperation consuming him at the rage he had seen in her eyes.

But she pretended not to hear him, entering the castle without a backward glance.

Adam handed Buck's reins to the stable boy and trudged slowly across the courtyard toward his rooms.

Well, ye wanted her furious with ye, ye great dobber. Now ye got yer wish.