32. Becca

32

BECCA

A s I walked through the vacation villa the day after Dom and Murphy tried to end each other over the long-term plan I’d overheard them dissolving so long ago, I realized how much of that night ended up being a blur.

I supposed it was my mind’s way of protecting me, shading all the details into a hazy recollection so I wouldn’t dwell in the trauma of all that passed.

I wasn’t in denial. Dom was dead. So was Murphy. And I didn’t mourn either of them. Not one bit.

Everything in the present seemed so surreal, though, and I wondered when I would feel confident in what to do next.

Ivan had told me that he wanted me in his life, but now that it seemed like the rest of my life was actually going to start, he was making himself scarce again. I got it. I knew he was busy with his brothers, tending to the aftermath of all that violence. Mafia men, as I’d come to learn, were busy individuals.

Yet, I felt lost.

I was no longer here as a hostage. Steven was dead and would never need to be baited or lured to come out of hiding again.

I was free of his influence.

I was no longer a guest here, either. Since Ivan and I admitted the depth of our feelings for each other, after he asked me to move into his room with him, I felt like a girlfriend. A mistress? Something with intimacy but not so casual that we were roommates.

It would be far easier to understand what I was supposed to do now if he were around to speak with me, so it was with a mixture of giddiness and anxiety when I heard him come in through the front door.

“Hello?”

The guards were no longer as present. Margie, too, had left to help Mila and Amy at the mansion in the city.

Yet, here I was. Unlabeled, lost, and a lot in love.

I’d faced so many changes of late, but the one that I had yet to come to terms with was the evidence of my pregnancy. I found a test in one of the guest wings, and sure enough, it lit up positive right away.

Telling Ivan was critical. I had to. But I didn’t know how or when.

He’d told me that I’d changed his views on having a kid or starting a family, but he didn’t strike me as a family man through and through. Perhaps he’d said that in the heat of the moment.

What if he thinks I’m trying to trap him with a baby?

Too many unknowns resided in my head, and as I headed to the front door to greet him, I tried my hardest to stick with the things I did know.

In Ivan, I’d finally found that man who would care for me as I was, a good, hardworking, and honest hero who didn’t want to use me for his own gains.

“Becca?” he called out as he strode down the hallway.

My feet were slow. I was sluggish to approach him with my news.

“Hi,” I replied, trying to smile as he came into view.

“I was?—”

Emily cried out, and I sighed, wishing I could’ve had an uninterrupted chance to speak with him now that he was here and we were alone.

He chuckled, walking with me to her door. Still lagging with the indecision of how to break the news to Ivan, I lingered near the window, looking out as he beat me to her.

“Hey, quiet.” He still used those direct requests, but he was gentle and soft with her.

She looked perfect in his arms, calming against his chest and glancing at me.

“No need to fuss. We’re right here.”

I swallowed hard, overwhelmed with the picture-perfect moment of him holding her so carefully and with ease.

“Well, she’ll need to get used to the concept of competing for attention soon. She’ll have to let her sibling fuss too.”

Oh, shit. Of the stupidest, lamest ways to break the news…

I couldn’t believe I’d just blurted it out like that. My cheeks heated and I bit my lip, worrying. Doubts abounded.

Ivan paused in rocking Emily, gazing at me with an intense blend of shock and awe.

“Becca?”

I sighed. “I’m pregnant.”

He raised his brows. “Wow.”

“And that’s not all.”

He widened his eyes, already stunned but bracing for more.

“I’ve fallen for you, Ivan. And I love you. I loved you before you saved me yesterday, and I’ll love you for the rest of our days, too. I miss you every minute that you’re gone or busy, and I constantly wonder if you think about me too. Those are the truest things that I know right now when I have zero direction of where to go and what to do.”

He let me catch my breath, rocking Emily.

My home was gone. All my things were sold or taken to the trash when I never came back. My artwork was all ruined, save for the one notebook I’d sketched in here at the vacation house. And even my little studio was trashed. My grandmother’s space was destroyed, and I bet it was Steven, seeking my artwork for those drugs.

All along, I was literally the bait. Both Steven and Dom had wanted me to smuggle their drugs in my artwork, and because of both of them, I was rootless.

“After all that’s gone down, all I have to guide me is the reassurance that I still have Emily in my life. And this baby inside me.” I pressed my hand to my flat stomach. “And my love for you.”

His gaze softened, darkening with adoration as he stepped up close to me. Emily slept once more, lax in his arms, and he got in my face.

“That’s not all you have, sweetheart.” He leaned down to kiss my lips, hard and incessant with that taste of need I was addicted to.

“I’m sorry things have been busy, but I wanted to make it a smooth transition when you and Emily move into my home in the city.”

My heart soared. I smiled, hoping he was serious.

“You’ll always have my love.”

I reached up and pulled him down for a deeper kiss.

“And it will never, ever be conditional.” He narrowed his eyes playfully. “Do you understand?”

“From the bottom of my heart,” I replied, sealing it with another kiss.