Chapter 14

Andrew was instantly contrite. He had pushed her too far, he knew, and now, he must find some way to make up for it. And so, he used the only weapon he had at his disposal: the truth.

"Forgive me, Marian," he cried, leaping out of his seat and hurrying to the door to stop her. He stood in front of it, blocking her exit.

"Oh! So now you mean to keep me prisoner here in this room!" Marian accused, her eyes flashing with sudden anger. "Is that it?"

"No. Not all."

The Duke reached up and ran a hand through his hair in exasperation.

"Look, if you wish to leave, I will, of course, allow it," he said, looking down at her. "But please, just hear me out first, I beg you."

Marian looked up at him suspiciously. Her cheeks were flushed, and her eyes sparkling. Andrew had never seen her look more beautiful. Or more tempting.

"Marian," he said softly, taking a step towards her. "I'm sorry. Truly, I am."

He hesitated, expecting her to move away as she had at the table. When she did not, he took that as his sign to continue.

"Forgive me, please," he pleaded. "You know not what you do to me."

"What I do to you, Andrew?" Her tone was confused, rather than angry, and he took another step towards her before reaching out to cup her lovely face tenderly in his hands.

"I fear you have driven me quite out of my mind," he admitted in a low voice. "This face… Your scent." He leaned towards her, inhaling the sweet, floral fragrance which he knew would always make him think of her, even when she was gone. "The memory of our kiss. It's all I think about. You are all I think about, Marian. Ever since you arrived on my doorstep, I've found myself quite tortured by your presence. I do not mean to upset you. That's the very last thing I want; you must see that?"

Marian blinked up at him uncertainly. She did not immediately answer him, but nor did she pull away which Andrew took to be a good sign.

"But… our agreement," she argued at last, her face clouding with confusion. "I thought —?"

"I suspect you could make me agree to anything if you set your mind to it," the Duke explained ruefully. "But agreeing not to attempt to kiss you again — that was perhaps the hardest thing you could have asked of me."

He ran a finger gently across her full lips, noticing the way she shivered in response.

"I have never felt so strongly about anything," he went on. "Not even my own family. Why, it is almost an affliction to feel so much. It scares me. In truth, it terrifies me. And that's why I agreed to your request. I could see that I was in danger, and I knew that if I allowed myself to give it to it, I would never be safe again."

He reluctantly dropped his hands from her face, but still, she did not try to move away from her.

"If you consider me such a danger to you," she asked softly, "then why keep me here? That's the part I don't understand. I know it's been but a few days since we met, but those two days were enough for me to understand your character. Was it not enough for you to see mine? Do you really think me the kind of woman who would tell tales of you to anyone? Who would betray you?"

Andrew shook his head.

"You're like no one else I've ever met, Marian," he replied. "I know you are no gossip. In truth, that was simply an excuse to keep you here. A weak one, it's true, but it was all I had. I couldn't let you go, not because I feared what you might say about me but because I couldn't bear to let you leave. Because from the moment I first laid eyes on you, I knew I wanted you, and that I would do anything to have you — even keeping you here against your will."

He sighed heavily.

"It was selfish of me, I know," he admitted. "And wrong. I know that, and yet I somehow couldn't stop myself. It was as if some madness had come over me when we met, and I could not shake it off."

He stopped, almost afraid to look at her. He feared he had, once again, gone too far: that he had said too much and that what he had said would only make her even more determined to leave him. Instead, however, Marian surprised him.

"I understand," she said simply, her large eyes soft as she looked up at him. Andrew blinked in confusion.

She understands? How could a woman such as her possibly understand?

"This madness you speak of," she went on, her cheeks turning even redder, "I understand it. I've felt it too. Last night, in the study —"

Her embarrassment was now all too evident, but Marian had clearly made up her mind to continue, and so continue she would.

"I felt the same," she said honestly, looking him in the eye. "I know it was wrong, but I did not want to leave. I did not want to stop. Had Ben not turned up —"

She faltered again.

"Had Ben not chosen that moment to turn up," she went on, gathering her courage, "then I know not what would have happened. What I might have done."

Andrew's heart thumped hard against his chest.

Will she ever stop surprising me?

"I had not dared to hope," he said simply. "I wanted you so badly. I could not allow myself to hope you might feel something for me, too."

"Oh, but I do," Marian replied, her large eyes unblinking as she looked up at him. Her tone was filled with longing, but her expression was one of concern, and Andrew's heart dropped.

"And yet you do not want to feel anything for me," he said sorrowfully. "I understand. Why would a woman like you want someone such as me? I have nothing to offer you. Oh, I have lands, and money — a title, even. But none of those things can mean anything when I also have the reputation of a murderer." He shook his head with regret.

"How I wish things were different," he said softly. "How I wish I could go back in time — to save my mother and sister, of course, but also, to once again be the man I was before this happened. To be a man who would be worthy of you. Who would deserve you."

"But you do deserve me," Marian said fiercely. "Of course, you deserve me. In fact, under normal circumstances, many would say it was I who did not deserve you. You are a Duke, after all, and I am just the daughter of a man who is determined to drink what fortune remains to him."

"I care nothing of such things," Andrew insisted. He took a step towards her and gripped her firmly by the shoulders, pulling her towards him. "Your father's fortune — or lack of fortune — means nothing to me."

"And your title means nothing to me," Marian replied, her large eyes filling with tears. "But even so, you must know this cannot work. That you cannot just expect me to meekly remain a prisoner in your home while my father is probably drinking himself to death in mine. No matter what kind of feelings I might be starting to have for you, you must understand that these are not circumstances in which they can properly flourish."

Andrew's hands tightened on her shoulders. She was right, he knew. He did not want to admit it, even to himself, but he could not keep her here like this. She meant too much to him. If he were to continue to prevent her from leaving, then the feelings he had for her would doubtless continue to grow, but he would never be able to trust that the ones she had for him were true. No, he must allow her to come to him freely: to make her own choice, unencumbered by her fears for her father or by the knowledge that she could not leave him, even if she wanted to.

"Of course, you must go," he said hoarsely, releasing her. "Of course, you must. First thing tomorrow, if you like. As soon as it's light. I will… I will accompany you myself, in fact. Just to the borders of my land. Just so I know you are safe. I could not bear the thought of anything happening to you." He turned away, overcome with emotion, but before he could say more, she was suddenly in front of him, standing on her toes as she reached up to touch his face.

"I do not want to leave you, Andrew," she said, blinking back her tears. "Truly, I do not. But I know that I must."

Andrew reached for her, his hands circling her waist as he pulled her towards him.

"You must," he agreed, sadly. "But first, you must allow me to kiss you. To have something to remember when you're gone."

Marian nodded wordlessly, and then, without another word between them, they were suddenly kissing passionately, his hands cupping her face and her arms around his neck. Andrew kissed her as if it were the last kiss he would ever have in his life — as it very well might be — and Marian returned the kiss in the same way, her body pressed against him until he could barely stand it.

"Marian," he said breathlessly, pulling away from her at last. "Please, if this is truly to be our last night together, then let us make it count. Let me make it as special for you as having you here has been for me."

He had expected her to push him away scandalized. Instead, she simply nodded her assent and slipped her soft hand into his, trustingly.

Andrew paused for just a second, looking down at her.

"Are you certain?" he asked, his heart once more thumping against his chest. "Are you absolutely certain?"

"Yes, Andrew," she said simply. "I trust you."

Without another word, Andrew turned and led her out of the room.