9. Jax

9

Jax

Everything hurts. Fuck, I can’t remember the last time someone has caused so much of an injury to my body. It’s a mystery how I haven’t gone into shock by now. The only thing keeping my focus is the alien hovering over me. His touch to my cheeks feels like butterfly kisses.

Nothing compares to the pain behind Runar’s stare as his eyes lower. The way his expression morphs as he takes in every inch of damage is heartbreaking.

He blames himself. I can see it written all over his face.

It’s not his fault. Not when I’m the one who told him to stay.

Even if this guy looks like a brick wall that can’t be taken down, something inside me broke at the thought of him getting hurt. I’m not allowed to have a weakness. Yet, I put his safety above everything else.

My heart is what gave in, making the words come out without thinking.

“It’s okay,” I tell him softly, repeating the two words. “ I’m okay.”

Sure, I’m in pain, but I’m still breathing. Even if I feel like I’m on the edge of passing out, I need to keep my eyes open and manage this situation before it can get any worse.

Though, I think we’re a bit past that point.

When he was raging and tearing down everyone who stood in his way, my words couldn’t reach him. I don’t want to risk letting that happen again. I need him to be calm. Especially now.

Trying to move, I hiss at every shift of my arm. Like it’s on fire, the burn is on a whole different level in comparison to the marks on my legs.

“I want to heal you,” he starts up, his words catching in his throat. Even when gingerly touching me, he jerks when the pain remains. “You’re my mate. You should be healing. We both should be.”

He seemed so confident yesterday about this whole Rhis thing. I don’t know what he thinks is supposed to happen. I mean, I’m only human. If he thinks he’s going to see some fireworks and magic happen, I don’t think I’m capable of giving him that much. If anything, now is the best time to show him how disappointing humans are.

Blinking my eyes a few times to ground myself, I take him in. Whatever has hit him, it’s done serious damage. Not only is he bleeding, but I’m seeing the way his skin is slowly being eaten away. Fucking poisons. I’m too scared to look at my wounds to compare.

Thanks to the adrenaline pumping through my veins, the pain isn’t as bad as it should be. Once I come down from this high, I’m going to be useless as it grows to be too much.

“You need to check on your men,” I try to order, but Runar doesn’t move. The way he looks at me makes my tongue swell twice in size.

To him, I’m the only thing that matters.

My heart thumps at the realization and there’s no point in denying these stupid butterflies. Having him care about me as much as he has, I have to admit the truth. I care for this king.

“My people, those close to me, died off when our planet went under. Because of this, I don’t understand how this works. I don’t have the answers, but I know deep down, you’re meant to be mine,” he explains as he leans down. His warmth spreads over my features as his forehead brushes mine. “I didn’t protect you, not like I should have. Now, it’s my job to heal you and for some reason, it is not working. I’m trying, Jax.”

Blaming himself is one thing, but this man sounds like he’s in pain caused by more than the wounds on the outside.

I don’t like that one bit.

Lifting my uninjured arm, my fingers slide against his cheek. He’s so warm, so welcoming. Knowing he will continue to blame himself unless I prove him otherwise, I don’t waste any more time telling him.

Leaning forward, I kiss him. I kiss him because I want to and I’m tired of lying to myself.

I want Runar. I want him because it feels wrong not to want him. Even if this whole Rhis thing is madman talk, there’s no denying how when we’re together, it’s like finding two odd puzzle pieces that fit together perfectly, even though they look like they shouldn’t.

He doesn’t take my kiss lightly. Plucking my hand from his face, he cradles it gently in his as his tongue slides against mine.

Terrible time for a makeout session with all the blood and gore surrounding us, but the kiss helps numb the pain.

In fact, I feel this odd warmth sensation creeping in. From the top layer of my skin, it seeps in deep. Deeper and deeper until I feel it in my bones.

Sighing against his mouth, I hardly notice. Hard to do when I’m getting more lost in the kiss each time his fangs graze my lips or his tongue licks deeper.

My heart thumps against my ribs, beating along to some crazy tune. I’ve gone crazy. How fitting.

His chest rumbles as my hands clutch at his front. He’s wearing this thick armored plate, but it’s unnecessary. A beast like him can take a few blows and remain standing.

It’s so strange. As my fingers grip that plate and cling on like this kiss is more important than seeking the medical help I need, I feel it. I feel Runar.

The heavy beat to his heart. Slow and deep, the sensation is oddly soothing. Rather than feeling the thumps through the outside, it’s more like my fingers are close enough to wrap around the organ itself.

Suddenly, the warmth grows hot. A little too hot. Enough to make me pull away. I’m flushed and throbbing between my thighs. Somehow, I’m horny and my body is screaming to be with Runar. Every second I deny myself is another second I feel like I’m dying.

For a body covered in chemical warfare and with a broken arm, I must not be in as rough of a condition as I originally thought.

Those golden eyes flash and his nostrils flare. One look at my plump lips and current state is enough to speak volumes.

He doesn’t have to tell me that he wants me. I can feel it deep inside of him, just like his heartbeat.

I don’t understand why, but the sensation is there.

His gaze lowers, the hunger growing until suddenly, something catches his attention. Those eyes light up for a different reason.

“How strange,” he murmurs before I feel his touch on my thigh. Instead of moving up where I want, he moves lower. Right toward my burns.

I expect pain. However, that’s not what I get. Instead of damaged skin, his fingertips run over goosebumps. My skin is prickling from this tingling situation.

With a gasp, I jerk to get a better look at myself. My legs aren’t burned. The holes in my clothes are there, but my tanned skin is undamaged beneath.

Burns are one thing, but I’m left speechless when I get a look at my arm. It’s no longer swollen and in pain. The bone is no longer broken.

“How?” I start, my chest tight. This can’t be real. Maybe I passed out from the pain and all of this is part of a fantasy. No, that can’t be. If this were some dream, we would still be kissing. Hell, we’d be doing far more than that.

Runar doesn’t help knock out my theory by giving me some sort of explanation. Rather, he kisses me again. As if assuming the action is enough to make me understand, I’m still just as clueless as I was before.

“Our souls are intertwined,” he murmurs when I pull away. “I’ve healed you.” He looks down at himself and swipes his fingers over a wet patch against his front. There’s a hole in his armor, but the skin beneath is perfectly fine despite all of the blood. “I didn’t understand how it truly works, but now, I have an idea. A theory. Before, you’ve fought the truth the entire time. Something has changed, you’ve allowed me in.”

Trying to kiss me again to prove his point, I flatten a hand against his mouth and block the distraction.

“Runar, there’s a time and place. While I’m grateful for this little discovery, we can’t just sit here like this.” I scoff when his tongue flicks against my fingers. Even now, he’s trying to tempt me. Unfortunately, it’s working. “Runar. Check on your men.”

Breathing in, his eyes close for a moment before he nods. He must see how easy it is for him to slip away and lose his sense of himself.

The groan in the distance helps clear his mind. We both look over at the same time and curse.

Varrum, the poor guy, has taken most of the damage seeing he was right next to the man who decided to go out with an explosion. Unlike Runar, his wounds aren’t healing up very quickly, if at all.

“He needs his mate,” Runar explains as he helps me up. “We need to find the others and get back home.”

Nodding my head, I take in the damage of our surroundings as he leaves my side to do what needs to be done.

My stomach clenches at the sight of Hendrick. Well, what’s left of him. Even though the goal was to take him out, it’s never a good feeling to see a dead body. Even if I hated the bastard, and he clearly hated me too, the sensation remains.

He spelled out my fears and called me a traitor.

Is that what I am? After all this bloodshed, the words feel more engraved than before. The proof is right before me.

Only Hendrick was meant to die. Instead, the entire camp has grown quiet.

When Runar returns from outside with other members of the Sixth, he settles a hand on my back and helps bring me back from such depressing thoughts. The warmth that seeps through my clothes is soothing.

“Do not mourn or regret,” he mumbles as he reads my expression. “They were stubborn. If their actions hadn’t killed them, the poisons from this planet would’ve done the job in less than two rotations worth of time. Possibly less with how strong their extractions were in the bullets they used against us.”

He’s trying to make me feel better, but all he’s doing is pointing out another issue we can’t seem to solve.

“Are there any planets around here that are habitual or is this fight completely worthless?” My shoulders sink as the fight for the survival of the human race seems to continue to dwindle.

Runar doesn’t have to answer the question. His grim expression does the trick.

“We will continue to search for our future generations. However, there is nothing within our reach. Not right now.” There’s a hint of hope in his voice. Good. He hasn’t given up despite however the length of his search. “For now, we’ve cut off the head of the beast. If the humans are willing, we will give home to as many as we can.”

They’ve taken in other species, giving them roles and jobs. I saw it with my very own eyes. The vessel is large, the size in comparison to a small planet. Sure, he can’t fit billions of humans, but he can take in enough to keep us alive.

What about those left behind? It doesn’t sit well with me, but now is not the time to start an argument. Not when one of the members of his group calls out Runar’s name.

Flora will kill me if I let her boyfriend die. There’s no point in lingering around here any longer. We’re done here.

I’ll have to send out a message to the colonies and tell them what happened. I won’t lie, not to any of them. They deserve to know the truth and why the Medarians have continued their onslaught.

“We need to take all this equipment with us,” I explain as I step over the bloody scene. “When we return, I’ll send the order to cease fire. We can call an end to this war.”

I’ve seen enough death today. I might be able to rest again knowing no one else has to die.

He leads me toward their group. I immediately notice one is missing.

“I’ll fill you in at a more appropriate time,” he explains softly. His expression is grim.

Seems we both lost more than we wanted to today.

Needing to move along to get Varrum the help he needs before our group takes another blow, we make our way back to the ship for a quick escape back to the vessel.

To the place I may call home if everything goes smoothly.

With everything going on, I work overtime to keep my troubled thoughts written all over my face. Runar, as always, keeps his attention on me. If there’s anyone I feel like I should convince I’m fine, it’s him.

However, there’s something about that knowing look of his that makes it feel like I’m going to be fighting one hell of a challenge to keep him from interrogating me later.

* * *

Runar leads me straight to his quarters as soon as we make it to our destination. We’re both looking pretty rough. Our outfits are ruined and he’s practically shirtless.

I’m pretty sure he’s growled at anyone who tries looking my way.

With the stains of dried blood on our skin, we draw way too much attention.

Oddly enough, he barely touches me. With everything going on, he has the excuse to be distracted. However, once we’re left alone in his home, the shift between us doesn’t change.

Maybe I stink? My skin feels sticky. I need a shower so I can wash away all of the events today.

“I’ll be quick,” I promise him as I head in the direction to steal the bathroom first. In a similar state, I’m sure he wouldn’t mind a quick shower either.

Once I’m inside, I get a good look at my reflection in the mirror. No wonder why so many people were looking our way. I look rough . The edges of my hair are stiff, darkened with more dried blood. Exhaustion is written all over my face with the way bags cling to my eyes.

Grimacing, I let out a sigh. I look disgusting. Vile, really. Will a hot shower be enough to rinse away everything that happened today?

I’ve seen people die. Plenty of them ever since we started fighting for our survival. Something about today takes the cake.

Looking at the perfect skin beneath the ruined clothes makes my brows furrow.

I should be dead. I should be, and I think I’m struggling to process this whole soulmate bit. Tomorrow, I’m meant to have a speech that will end all this fighting. At the moment, it feels like I’ve got whiplashed hard enough to make my head spin.

Can’t complain to Flora because her alien boyfriend is injured. I don’t have anyone else to talk to and get some of this off my chest. My crew wouldn’t understand right away and I’m not even sure if I’d be allowed back onto that ship before tomorrow.

Tearing my eyes away from my reflection, I strip away the tattered clothing and fiddle with the shower knobs. Getting the water to the right temperature, just hot enough to distract my thoughts with a slight burn, I turn my brain off. Shutting my eyes, I focus on how the water feels as it rolls down my body.

Then I hear the door open and my short-lived peace is over.

“Couldn’t have waited a few minutes for your turn?” Noticing his dark form moving about through the blurred glass, I don’t bother getting all shy. There’s the shuffle of his clothes and the thump of them hitting the ground.

He’s seen me at my most vulnerable. Naked in a shower is nothing in comparison.

Pushing the door open, he doesn’t answer me. Instead, he stands there in his naked glory.

The task of keeping my gaze from lowering is a good distraction in itself. While I’m staring at his face and taking in the foreign expression on his face, I crack a smile when he hisses as the water hits him. Once he’s readjusted the knobs to where he can join me, I expect him to attack me as he always does.

A part of me really wants him to. Deep down, having him this close, there’s a throb pulsating in my gut. The other part…well, that’s the worn-down one.

“You are upset.” Pointing out the obvious, I don’t have the strength to call him out for it. Not when he’s reaching out to cup my cheek. The warmth of the water doesn’t come in comparison to the warmth of his touch. “I can feel your pain.”

“You always say the strangest things.” If he can heal my wounds and make my skin glow, I might as well believe that he can read my mind at this point. His face is serious. “Today was a lot for me. Everyone has a limit. Not that I want to admit that out loud to you.”

His thumb brushes my mouth and I part them. Sucking in a steady breath, I close my eyes once more. If I focus hard enough, I can feel the strum of a beat. A slow, steady heartbeat. It’s not my own. Yet, it’s calming. Like a lullaby to a fussy newborn.

“Will talking help?” His thumb traces my jaw and I feel his other hand brush my hip. I don’t think he’s trying to distract me. Runar just really likes contact, I’ve learned that bit.

“From captor to therapist. What a wild turn of events.” Scoffing, I look at him once more. Taking in those golden eyes looking all concerned, I shake my head. “Talking isn’t my style. Plus, we’re meant to be showering. This isn’t the place to let all my feelings start pouring out.”

No offense to Runar, but I’d like to avoid letting him see all my vulnerable spots in such a short period. How about we try in a few days or even a couple of weeks?

Will this thing between us live out for that long? From the way he always looks at me, I think I might be stuck with him. Though, is that a bad thing?

He nods and pulls away. As his touch disappears, he grabs the soap and proceeds to wash away all the evidence of today. As he’s doing exactly what I’ve said, those eyes of his are still piercing my skin.

The throbbing is growing. Especially when I allow my gaze to lower.

White suds of soap trail down his chest and follow along his stomach. Even further, the suds drip off his swollen cock. He might not be pouncing on me because he can ‘feel my pain’, but he sure looks like he wants to.

My toes curl against the tile.

“Do you need help?” Taking in the fact that I haven’t budged, he tilts his head. He might know a little too much because his mouth twitches like he wants to smirk.

I can manage to wash my body perfectly fine. Yet, I don’t tell him no. When he does allow his lips to curve, my frown does nothing to him when he closes the distance between us once more.

“I will take care of you,” he promises softly, “in whatever ways you need.”

Without needing to say the words, I know he will.