Chapter 21

Emily

Fucking asshole murderer.

To think I almost fell into his predatory lair. I was such a fool. I'd wanted him. I'd craved him. Hell, I'd acted as if we were lovers and had been.

I slammed my hands on the keys, adding volume to the heavy beat of the crescendo, running my fingers up and down the keyboard faster than I ever had in my life. While the music normally soothed me, on this late afternoon it did little more than push my buttons like he'd done.

Another few chords and I closed my eyes, wishing the music could take me somewhere. Anywhere. Panting, my body was writhing as I swayed hard and fast, acting like Stevie Wonder did when he tickled the ivories.

Styx Saint wanted me to play for him, well, that's what I was doing. I powered out the last few notes while keeping my eyes clamped shut, gasping for air from the perfect finish, the exhausting way I'd played the piece.

Yet I was more invigorated than I'd been in a long time.

Until I sensed the man's disgusting presence.

I slowly opened my eyes to find Styx standing over the side of the piano, appearing relaxed. I knew I'd crossed the line with him. I'd said things in front of one of his men. His eyes were back to the cold and bleak I'd become used to with the bastard standing in front of me.

For a few seconds, neither one of us said anything. He clapped, and I jerked off the piano stool, determined to get away from him. While he grabbed my arm forcibly, yanking me back to the piano, I sensed he was more amused than angry. There was no immediate violence of any kind, just the heated feel of his hard body pressed against mine.

While I tried to control my breathing, he lowered his head, pressing kisses across my hair, doing nothing more than holding me. As I'd felt before, I wanted to push him away but the feel of having him close, the scent of the sun and sand lingering on his skin almost brought tears to my eyes. "Why?"

"Why?" he repeated.

"Why did the three of you kill your father? To take over his organization?"

His sigh was filled with so much sadness, so much heartache, that I was thrown by my constant change in emotions. He stroked my hair, taking his time to act as if I was the most treasured creature in his life. Maybe I was.

"No, little sparrow. The truth is that two of us wanted nothing to do with our father's organization at all. For a little while, all three of us tried to get away from him and his hold over us. My brother has been fairly successful at it, a professor at a decent university."

"What did you become? You said you were a healer. Was that true?" He continued stroking my hair, fingering my long strands.

"Yes, it was true. I became a surgeon, a profession I enjoyed very much."

He could have told me he'd been an astronaut and it wouldn't have shocked me more than what he'd just said. "A surgeon? You really did heal people?"

"Yes, I did. I was well respected and enjoyed my work."

"But…"

"But it was taken from me. Everything was taken from me. It was because of our father."

"Tell me who she was. Trust me that much, Styx. I deserve to know what the hell is going on."

The sound of his laughter was unlike any I'd heard before. He let me go, remaining close. When I heard another noise, I turned my head toward him. He was leaning up against the piano, already having shoved his hands into his pockets.

"Talk to me. I'm not here to hurt you." I shifted toward him. I had no fear of the man, just a profound sadness. Maybe I wanted to fix him, which was silly, but he'd been just as deeply crushed in his spirit and emotions as I had.

"No, but my life could hurt you just as it did to my wife."

"Wife?" I managed to whisper.

He nodded several times, no longer able to look me in the eyes. "I met her while in med school. We hit it off immediately. You were right; she was the light to my darkness. She had a way of shattering what was left of the evil man inside of me, the one my father had spawned and nurtured. We built a life together, at least for a few years."

I found myself touching his arm, thankful he didn't flinch. But he did finally glance into my eyes. My God. His were misted. "What happened?"

"She was a nurse, although she took a leave of absence when our son was born."

Another shock. Another moment of horror. A slight smile crossed his face from whatever memory was surfing his mind but almost as soon as the hint of joy was there, it was gone, replaced by rage. More evidenced by the way one hand fisted, his jaw clenching.

I pressed my hand on his chest, shocked how saddened I was about what he'd endured. "I'm here."

He laughed but the sound was entirely too bitter. A snarl followed. "If I had any decency, I would have given you a new identity and flown you somewhere else."

"What good would that have done?"

"That would have protected you from several dangerous men, including your father and the man you once considered your uncle. Blood is no longer thicker than water, my little sparrow. And men will stop at nothing to gain power."

"I know that. The scar?"

He touched the side of his face, taking and holding his breath for a full ten seconds before raggedly exhaling it. "It was Mary's birthday. I was making dinner, her favorite meal, or at least that's what she told me often. I'd planned on taking off work early but a colleague of mine begged me to handle a surgery he didn't feel confident doing. I felt I had no other choice. I called her but she didn't answer. Anyway, the surgery was successful, but I was over four hours getting home. Four fucking hours."

"What happened?"

"A horrific fire that I assume I was supposed to die in as well. I came home to flames shooting from the roof. I did everything I could to save them. I rushed into the flames when the firefighters tried to stop me. It was just too late."

The horror of what I'd heard brought a racking sob to my throat. "I'm so sorry, Styx." My automatic response was to throw my arms around him in a tight bear hug. He didn't respond at first, his body remaining stiff. But when he did, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me onto my toes, I heard a sound I'd never forget. "Who did it? Did you ever find out?"

"I tried but whoever it was vanished. It's eaten me up inside for far too long."

"What if you found the monster who did it?"

He left out a horrible roar, that of an injured animal. Seconds later, he cupped both sides of my face. "I can't lose you. I know you won't love me, but you are the true light of my life. You're the only woman capable of bringing me out of this darkness."

He crushed his mouth over mine, the kiss a wild moment of explosive passion, the controlling man sweeping his tongue inside. But with all things involving the man, the rush of sweet adrenaline and excitement was cut short. He pulled away, still holding the side of my face. "So you see, my beautiful angel. Life is full of danger."

"Who did it? Who killed your family?"

His grin was maniacal. "Let's just say one of my father's enemies that he destroyed. Just like what could be happening because your father had Liam's wife and child killed as well. A strange, twisted disease with our kind."

While so much about the man surprised me, nothing horrified me any longer. "Then who killed my mother, my father?"

His grin was my answer but I doubted he would admit it. Or maybe he didn't have the evidence.

"I know he did. I felt it all these years. I've hated him for it."

"And you see what hate can do to people like us, those taught early on that violence is an exacting way of life."

"I don't want that, Styx. I want light and joy just like I described."

The craziness continued with all the anger swept away from him with my words, the fog from before covering his eyes once again. "That's what you deserve, my angel. That's what I want to give you. There are some people that need to face my wrath."

"But you're not a killer, not really. You told me you enjoyed healing people."

"I did."

"Then do it again. Besides, burning down the entire world won't bring your wife and son back." God, how I wanted to hold him close. The pain reflected in his eyes was more horrific than before.

And I was gutted because of it.

"You're right, Emily. It won't. And it ceased making me feel any better. So, I'll think about your advice. I really will." He had another one of his faraway looks in his eyes, which terrified me almost as much as his smile. But this time, the fear wasn't about me at all, but about what he would do to anyone he considered an enemy. Maybe he was too far gone to find salvation. "For now, it's about protecting you and giving you the live you deserve."

And he meant it. Butterflies swarmed in my stomach. The reality of what I'd heard, the horrors of what we'd faced something that had molded us. Only my music had settled me. His wife had done the same for him.

Until she'd been taken away.

"Then don't make me your prisoner. Allow me to be your friend."

"What if I want more?"

In truth, and even though I knew it was a crazy thought, so did I.

I hated his father as much as he did and was glad the bastard was dead. Maybe that would sound irrational to anyone I admitted it to, but my thoughts were the truth. What did that make me?

Just like him… The man you fell for weeks before.

I half laughed to myself. Maybe that was the worst truth of all.

"So you killed your father because of what happened to your family."

"No, my sweet. I wish it was something so honorable and easy for you to understand but acts of revenge often take years of planning before coming to fruition, which is what I expect happened and why my wife and son were murdered. Unfortunately, I may never know. My father's death occurred when all three sons were still under his thumb, being used in a vicious game. Hunt and be hunted. You see, Daddy dearest was the truest form of a sadistic psychotic. He enjoyed inflicting as much pain as possible, chaining us to cement walls, forcing us to run in the woods like animals. Although he preferred watching us as we hunted down enemies he'd captured and brought to the facility where they're all buried. We were required to dig the graves. Imagine the joy as a child."

I sucked in my breath, horrified at what I was hearing.

"You were just children."

"I assure you some of the most heinous activities were when we'd reached eighteen but others…"

He'd gone to college after, turning into a successful doctor? I was floored but knew what he'd told me was the truth. "I'm so sorry. I don't know what to say. Just remember there is good inside all of us, maybe with only a few exceptions."

"And to counterpoint, there is such a thing as evil."

"That's not you. You're not that man. You're a healer. Remember it."

"There's no need to worry, my sweet Emily. No need at all. I have no intentions of starting a war. Now, I can fully understand what you overheard was horrible, more so than probably anything else you've heard me say or even the deeds I've done. However, you are not allowed to disrespect me in front of even one of my men. Rico is a trusted individual who's been with me for years. However, as with any decent relationship, it involves respect. He doesn't need to know what we fight about or what troubles you. And he certainly doesn't feel like he can act the same way, treating me with less than absolute respect. Do you understand? That would upset the balance that I've created."

Oddly enough, I did understand. "I wasn't thinking." I wasn't doing any better at this moment either, still caught up in the disbelief that he and his brothers had taken another brand of justice into their hands. I could no more imagine what they'd suffered now than I had before. It was doubtful I wanted to hear the full story. What they'd endured was the thing of nightmares, but I sensed there was even more.

"That's okay. It happens. However, I'm going to need to punish you, so you'll keep the rules in mind, especially while I'm gone. But I will return."

"Where are you going?" Did it matter to me? I could try to get away from him.

But did I really want that? The answer wasn't as easy as I thought it to be.

"I have business to take care of in Boston. I will be gone a couple of days."

He allowed me to turn around and face him. "Why? Because of what happened?"

"Partially, yes. But I do have business to take care of."

Of course he wasn't going to tell me the full truth. Why should he? "You're killing my father. Aren't you?"

"Not necessarily."

"I can't come with you?"

There was something about his laugh that wasn't annoying in any way, but instead gave me a feeling of comradery, as if we'd crossed some bridge together. I wasn't ready to believe that could be true but the fact he'd saved my life wasn't lost on me either.

"Not this time."

"So I'm a prisoner here just like I suspected."

"For now. When I determine it's safe, we will travel the world, my little sparrow."

"What about my career?"

He was taken aback by my question. "We'll see. For now, you'll be safe with Rico and my men. But you need to be good."

I nodded, uncertain what to say.

"Good girl. I knew I could count on you. Now, I'm going to need to punish you, so remove your panties and place your hands on the piano."

So much of me wanted to lash out but why? For the first time around him, I had the strongest feeling that he was trying to protect me. It was the oddest feeling of all. I only wished he'd shared with me the rest of the story. Something had made him switch back to his family business. That had to be a detrimental event or tragedy. I had a bad feeling I wasn't going to like what that was.

I didn't want to obey him. I had no desire to be punished like a bad girl all over again. However, fighting him also wasn't an option. At least not now. I was shoved into the foggy zone, still processing everything I'd heard. Maybe he could shove the damaged part of him into a box with a thick padlock. I wasn't certain that was possible with me. All I knew is that I hated my father more than ever. Styx's father as well. May the man rot in his grave.

My captor and lover rubbed his knuckles across my cheek before backing away, never blinking as he started to unbuckle his belt.

The thought of him using the thick piece of leather made me shudder all over again. I was still aching from the spanking before, confused and frightened from what we'd been through. Seeing the plane shooting real bullets then watching it tumble into the sea had been almost the most horrible thing I'd witnessed in my life.

Other than finding my mother and seeing Tyler's body in the woods. The second time there'd been so much blood, so much horror. But hearing what he'd come home to was just as terrible if not more. How much could one man endure before he went… mad?

God. I couldn't get all the terrible things out of my mind, the swirling images making me nauseated. I hadn't realized I'd complied with his request until I'd placed a new lace thong on the top of the piano, getting myself into position with my palms on the beautiful instrument.

He made me wait, taking his time removing the belt from the loops. I could hear every sound, although they seemed exaggerated. When he'd freed the thick strap, he cracked it against the floor and I shivered all over again.

His approach was equally slow, taking his sweet time in making me feel the sick anticipation of upcoming pain.

But there was also another strange sense of excitement as well.

When he was only inches away, he pressed his hand against the small of my back before pulling me further away from the piano and lifting my dress over my waist. After he was satisfied, he kicked my legs further apart.

"Do you now understand I will do everything in my power to protect you?"

I wasn't certain if his question was rhetorical, but I did sense he was looking for an honest answer. "Yes."

"Good. I'm glad. Because I'd die to keep you safe."

It was another moment where I wasn't certain how to feel or what to think but I was certain he was telling me the truth. I took several gasping breaths, my heart racing more than it had done before. He took his time running his fingers up and down my spine. His touch was electric, my pulse skipping. I wasn't the kind of woman to ever think I'd be okay with some crazed man spanking me but here I was, my mind wrapping around the fact in his world things were different. There were protocols I could understand because of my father.

How many times had I seen my father taking out his anger on someone in his employ, berating them for their lack of respect? However, from what little I'd seen of the man with his employees, Styx wasn't as caustic as my father was. There was a level of shared respect I sensed, which was like everything else about the powerful man.

Shocking as hell.

However, I had no doubt Styx could be just as brutal if necessary.

Maybe that's why I wasn't arguing with him or attempting to push him away, fleeing from the round of discipline.

Was there some small portion of me that had known I'd been pushing his buttons? I wasn't certain but when he slipped his hand between my legs, I was mortified how strong the scent of my desire had become.

Every time he growled, I was pulled into some crazy kind of fantasy. Today was no exception. I was wet, my skin tingling and the moment he thrust his fingers inside, I almost erupted into a powerful orgasm.

"Oh. God." The strangled sound I made was tempered by the fear that one of his men was listening or walking by the open door. The thought of being humiliated was both exciting and terrifying, especially since I had absolutely no control.

"My wet little baby sparrow." He plunged a few more times before removing his fingers. The exaggerated slurping sound he made brought a sinful smile to my face.

He took his time, igniting my core even more, making the anticipation of what he had planned that much more incredible. Who would have thought I would be so aroused from the thought of being spanked?

Finally, he stopped wasting time, tapping both my ass cheeks before taking a step back. I braced myself for impact, clenching every muscle seconds before he brought the belt down across my sit spot. He'd punished me before, but this was excruciating, so much so I pushed myself all the way away from the piano, frozen in midair as my breath whooshed out of me.

"Stay in position, little sparrow." He waited for a few seconds until I settled myself against the edge of the instrument before cracking the thick leather four times in rapid succession.

I kicked up one leg then the other, cringing inside. The anguish seemed worse than it had before, the rush of adrenaline not helping, nor the embarrassment as I felt my juices running down my legs. He wasn't gentle nor was the spanking about foreplay of any kind. Neither was he angry, calmer than I'd experienced with him before.

He took his time, alternating between rubbing my already heated skin and doling out strike after strike.

I was no longer shocked at his need to control me, realizing he was damn good at it. Was that because he'd learned so much about me or that he was right, and we were far too much alike? I had to think it was a little of both.

Dropping my head, I tried to focus but stars were floating in front of my eyes. I realized I was digging my nails into the gorgeous grand piano's finish and was horrified, but I had to grip something.

Six more cracks were issued, two hitting my upper thighs. Moans escaped my lips, the sound almost unrecognizable. When the heat of his body was closer again, I managed to glance over my shoulder seconds before he rolled the end of the belt down my back to my legs. There was a glassy-eyed look about the man as he slipped it between my thighs. The moment he rolled the strap against my pussy, I threw my head back and whimpered.

"Pleasure and pain, little sparrow. You will covet both over the years, longing to feel my firm hand as well as the pleasure I'll offer in return for your obedience."

Just hearing him explain it calmly was so strange but also added to the deep yearning. I found myself bucking against his sensual actions, my scattered moans becoming louder as the explosive heat between us continued to burst at the seams.

His body was as tense as mine, his eyes more hooded than I'd seen before. He pressed the belt past my pussy lips, rubbing up and down as I continued bucking hard and fast. In the next few seconds, my mind went into a foggy mess, the rush of ecstasy entirely different. I no longer wanted to hold back from experiencing the joys of pleasure and the rush of agony.

The climax caught me off guard, only a strangled sound managing to sweep up from my throat. I was blown away by how incredible the sensations were from such a simple action. He drove the belt deeper into me and I was certain my legs would buckle.

As soon as the roar of rapture started to fade, he resumed the spanking, issuing one strike right after another. The round of discipline seemed to last forever, my body shaking all the way to my toes.

When it was finished, he placed the belt on the piano for my viewing pleasure, a reminder that rules were meant to be followed. He pulled me close as he'd done before, wrapping one hand around my throat, the other around my waist. As strange as it seemed, his possessive hold was more protective than before, his skipping breath an indication that he remained concerned for my wellbeing.

Once again, he kissed the top of my head. "Don't forget, my darling girl. I own all of you. Every. Single. Inch. Now, try and get some rest. I'll be leaving early in the morning."

"I can't replace your wife."

He cocked his head, lightly brushing the tips of his fingers down the side of my face. "That's not why you're here or why I intend on spending the rest of my life with you. It's all about you, Emily. The light burned so brightly inside you that it called to me from a significant distance. What we share is unusual, but it's as resilient as it is full of passion, and eventually we'll both be at peace. You just have to trust me."

"I want to. Call me as crazy as I've thought you were, but that's exactly what I want." My words seemed to surprise and thrill him. "But I can't live fearful of every day of my life, Styx. That's not who I am or why I've worked so hard. I need joy, my music. And love. I hope that's something you can still understand. I want a family. I want my career. I want it all."

"And I want that more than you know, but make no mistake, Emily. Everything I've told you is true. Your father isn't to be trusted. But neither is anyone else that's crossed paths with him. He is as dangerous of a man as I am, only in slightly different regards. Liam is as well. I know trust isn't on the table right now, but from the moment I laid eyes on you, I knew we'd been brought together for a reason. I am going to end this charade and remove a significant portion of the danger we both feel. But I will take your thoughts into consideration. It will take a little time but that is one of my promises to you."

"What else do you promise?"

He pulled my hand to his lips, rolling them across my knuckles. "To love, honor, and cherish until death do us part."

I shouldn't be tingling all over, excitement drilling through me. But that was exactly what was happening.

To anyone else, what he'd said would sound insane, obsessive, but karma had a strange way of righting wrongs and putting pieces back together. Even if those pieces were little more than crushed shards. Maybe we'd been brought together to heal.

And to live.

Who was the crazy one now?

"I know who and what my father is and agree with you," I said more easily than I'd been able to before. "Whether or not my dad got his hands dirty, he'd had my mother killed. The reason doesn't matter."

The way he sucked in his breath was an admittance that he knew something more than he was ready to tell me.

"It will in time, my sweet," he said quietly, but the hushed syllables were as clear as a bell. I'd been right all these years, my fears finally coming to fruition. It was odd how a weight felt lifted.

Or maybe a noose removed from around my neck. Now I had a reason for my utter hatred of my dad. A justification.

"I want to say then kill him," I said, certain in the heat of the moment I meant that. Maybe that would bring us both some peace.

"No, you don't. That's not you. You can't have it both ways. You're not the kind of girl to cross over the very line of good versus evil. I won't allow you to ruin your life."

"Maybe it's not your choice."

"Yes, it is. You're my angel and you're going to stay that way. Let me do the dirty work."

The dirty work. He meant murder. I was certain of it.

"Be true to yourself and your memory, Styx. That's all I ask."

I sensed he was tenser than usual, his mind elsewhere. This time, I moved away from him, my heart in my throat as I walked toward the doorway, stopping and turning slightly so I could see his face. There was a moment of reverence for my statement combined with surprise and something else.

A brand-new level of respect.

It was about time my father paid for his miserable sins.

If only I could be the one to pull the trigger.