Chapter 2

Ahangover had a hold on me most of the morning. Now, as the clock ticks to one p.m., my nerves are just as frayed as they were yesterday. I push through the doors and into the diner.

"Hey, girl!" Alyssa shouts as I use the computer to clock in and then tie my apron around my front.

I smile, thankful she's here tonight because, her, I can work with. The new girl that started yesterday was horrendous, and my head can't stand a shift with her stumbling around, mixing up tickets, and breaking dishes left and right.

I grab an order pad and shove it and straws into my apron.

She piles plates from under the hot lamps onto her tray, pulling the ticket from beneath one to see which table it goes to.

"You have sections three and four, the new girl called in," she tells me, hefting her tray onto her shoulder and shuffling out onto the diner floor.

"On her second day, too," Beau adds from behind the ticket counter, rolling his eyes.

"Kids these days," I tell him, knowing it'll only encourage him, but loving to watch him spin once he's set off. It makes the night go faster to have entertainment.

"Now, don't get me going! And you're about her age, aren't you?" He eyes me ruefully.

I scoff. "I wish. She's twenty-five, Beau!"

"Oh, now, darlin', you ain't far off from that."

I don't have the heart to tell him I'm ten years older than that, but I don't have to. A couple plops into a booth in my section, and I move into action.

The night at the diner goes smoothly, but my feet are screaming to be put up by the time we're flipping the sign to closed. If only it was time to go home.

I started working at Patsey's Diner when I was in my final year of college, needing a steady income to support me. I've been here ever since the economy shifted. Both my other jobs are as bartenders for local spots, but only when they need extra hands. Usually holidays. There are people in far worse shape than I am, so I try to stay positive and thankful, but with all the bills piling up, and tourism at an all-time low, tips aren't keeping me afloat any longer. I've got fifty job applications out, and no one has even bothered to call to meet me.

I know it's because so many people are looking for work, but I can't help but spiral into self-loathing sometimes.

I check the last item off the to-do list, clean the soda machine dispensers, and then grab up the bin of clean silverware and start rolling them into napkins for tomorrow when the morning crew opens. Sliding into one of the tattered booths backed in faux red leather, I close my eyes at the feel of my weight lifting off my feet.

Beau comes out of the kitchen and drops into the booth across from me to help with the silverware rolling. He grunts softly once he's off his feet, just as I had when I sat down.

"So, what's been going on with you? You seem distracted tonight."

My heart hammers away as I look up at him. I hadn't realized I'd been acting out of the norm, but people rarely do. I've been so preoccupied with the what-if of Alyssa's suggestion of applying for Stranded, I guess I haven't talked to Beau much lately. Which is very unlike me. Usually, we spend the night joking and shooting the shit to make the hours pass faster.

"Come on," he adds, "out with it. Or it'll fester."

I sigh. "I'm not making enough money here to keep afloat, and final notices and bills are overwhelming me. Alyssa suggested the wildest idea yesterday, and even though I know it's insane, I can't stop thinking about the what-ifs of it all. That's all."

He narrows his gaze and motions for me to go on.

He's stubborn as a mule, and therefore, he will not let me off the hook. He has dark brown hair, gentle eyes, and a full face. He's also the kindest asshole you'll ever meet. He tells it like it is and holds no punches.

"She suggested that since my dad was a hobby survivalist, I should apply for that show on TVPLus, Stranded?"

His brows fly up his forehead before he bursts out laughing.

And there's my answer.

Even though he's laughing at me, I don't mind. Because maybe it'll give my brain the reality check it needs to see the truth.

That the idea is bat-shit insane.

"I'm sorry. I just can't see you in the wilderness. I assume it's in the wilderness, right? I've never watched it. But those things are always in the wilderness. In winter!"

He grabs into the tub to get more silverware, and the clanging sounds through the room over the dishwasher running in the back.

"Thank you! I told her that, but she thinks it could be my answer to everything!"

"How much do the winners of that even get?"

"Two million," I supply quickly, and his brows go even higher this time.

"Stop it! I mean, for that kind of money…" he trails off.

I laugh awkwardly, stopping my hand's work and staring at him. "You're kidding me. You were just laughing at me!"

He shrugs. "That's life-changing money! And at the very least you'd get a vacation. Shit, you never use your PTO, Brynne!"

I sit back, the chill from the booth seeping through my shirt. "You're serious?"

"What could it hurt? I mean, it's got to be a one-in-a-million chance you even get picked. I say, submit your application, and then forget about it. No harm done. And we'll work on getting you some other job just in case it doesn't happen."

Having his help calms my nerves a bit, and I nod. "Fine. I'll do it when I get home."

"Want some help?" Alyssa asks when she approaches, likely having listened to my entire conversation with Beau.

"I'd like that."

Beau slides out of the booth and stretches his back, then glances at Alyssa and me. "You ladies about done? An old man needs his beauty sleep, you know?"

We shake our heads. I roll the last of the silverware and stack them into the bin.

After clocking out and locking up, Alyssa drives us to my place, and I can't help but bounce my foot the entire way there.

"It'll be fine!" She turns and looks at me as we pull into the one parking spot designated to me, even though I don't have a car. Comes in handy when I have company, though.

"I'll be fine," I echo.

"There ya' go! Positive affirmations!"

I eye her over her sedan's roof as I shut my door. "Where did you hear that?"

She chuckles, locking the car doors with her key fob. "Social Media."

As I unlock the apartment, I steel myself. Even though I know there's going to be wine, I don't know if even that will be enough to give me the confidence to do what I'm about to do.

* * *

There weretons of questions and forms to fill out. Alyssa was right; there's training to go through. Not only on my own but with a trainer from the show, as well. That makes me feel more confident, at least.

"Okay," Alyssa says, setting her wineglass down on the table, "hit submit."

My finger hovers over the d-pad, the cursor sitting just above the submit button.

"Is this crazy?" I ask.

She shakes her head. "Just crazy enough."

I take a deep breath and hit submit. The computer screen loads for a few seconds, and then tells me: thank you for your submission.

Breathing out, I sit back and put my hands above my head. "What did I just do?"

"What needed to be done."

I laugh awkwardly. "You're cut off. No more wine."

She shakes the bottle and then sets it back down. "It's gone, anyway."

Too bad, I could've used another glass.

"I'm proud of you. Tomorrow, we will start searching for another job. And you've got friends, Brynne. You're not alone. None of us will let you drown."

That's just the thing. I know they won't, but I don't want to become anyone's burden, either.

"Thank you, Lyss. And thank you for being supportive, even though this is literally the craziest idea."

With a hug and some more words of encouragement, she's off, headed back home. My apartment is emptier without her, but I'm thankful for it after a busy night at work.

My computer is still open when I sit down at the table again, and my fingers are moving before I realize what I'm doing.

Years ago, Mom had our old home movies moved to digital, and she sent me copies. I've never once dared to open any of them. But something about this idea of trekking into the wilderness, walking in his footsteps, has me feeling nostalgic.

I click on one labeled: Dad and B build a lean-to.

"Now, this is called an A-frame shelter. Do you know why?" Dad asks.

I look at it with an inquisitive eye, rubbing my chin with my forefinger and thumb. "Because it forms an A?"

He smiles warmly down at me. "That's right! Good job, Brynne. Now, I'm going to teach you a few tricks for if you're ever in the wilderness and need to make one, alright?"

"Alright!" I answer enthusiastically.

"You're going to want to place the branches—or the ribbing—close together. Do you know why?"

I think for a moment, letting my mind think of all the things he's ever taught me. "Because you want to cover it with foliage. And if the branches are too far apart, the foliage will fall through," I recount, and he beams at me.

"Good job! Now, your covering can be anything, any kind of vegetation native to the area. You just want to make sure you pack it well to insulate. Especially if you're surviving somewhere with harsh weather. Do you recall how many feet of vegetation will keep you warm and dry?"

I furrow my brows in thought. "Two to three feet?" I ask, unsure.

"Correct, again! I'm so proud of you for listening to your old man. I know you think it's stupid, and you'd rather be with your friends, but one day, this could keep you alive, Brynnie Bear." He rustles my hair roughly, making a mess of it, but I don't fix it. It'll remind me later about this moment with him when I see it all askew in the mirror.

Remind me he was proud. Even if it was for only a moment.

I wipe my eyes, clicking out of the video and sniffling. I'd been eight. And it's a memory I'd long forgotten, packing it away with other ones like it. Like his smell, the way he'd narrow his eyes to read even though he had his glasses on, or how he'd always try to turn every moment into a lesson.

It might keep you alive one day.

It was his famous line that I always hated, and now, his lessons just might do just that.

Even though it's a one-in-a-million shot to get onto the show, I click on the next video of him and me, determined to soak up any knowledge he could give from the beyond. Knowledge my younger self didn't fully take advantage of.

Because it might just keep me alive.