49. Resa

Chapter 49

Resa

I 'm in my nest, hiding from my feelings as the sound of whistling moves closer.

I get up since the song is familiar. Vaughn, pretending to be a drunk, was singing it when he saved my life in the alley.

I slide the pool house's glass open and step out.

"Hey, can we talk?" he calls out.

I don't particularly want to, but Vaughn is already dropping onto the soft grass with his back to the pool house and patting the space beside him. "Come sit."

Sighing, I join him on the grass. He's easygoing, but I sense he's going to be stubborn about this talking business. "If I said I didn't want to talk, would you leave?"

He slides his arm around my shoulder and drops a kiss on the top of my head, briefly nuzzling me. "Probably not."

I sigh again, making no move to slip out of his warm embrace. "What did you want to talk about?"

"Whatever happened—or nearly happened—with you and Blaine."

"I don't know what you mean," I lie.

Vaughn looks at me.

I focus on the pink flamingo in the pool. "I think he was going to kiss me."

"And you didn't want him to?"

"No."

He snorts a laugh. "Want to try again?"

"Not really." I glare at him. "I don't want to talk about this, Vaughn."

"But maybe you need to."

I don't respond. He's probably right about that. My focus should be on my baby and figuring out what to say in this trial. I'm running out of names to add to my list, which means that soon, I'll have to do something with that list.

And why, now that it's time to act, am I so reluctant to do anything?

Vaughn nods at my hands. "What happened to the gloves?"

"I got them off." They're in the corner of my nest, under a throw, where I won't have to look at them.

"How? Those things are a bitch to get off without help."

"With my teeth." He's silent, but I glare at his expressionless face anyway, suspecting a great deal of silent laughing is going on right now. "I didn't realize how hard they were going to be to get off until I was down here."

"What was stopping you from going back to the person who put them on you and getting that person to take them off?" he asks with perfect seriousness.

"You're here to annoy me on purpose, aren't you?"

"I don't know what you mean," he echoes my lie.

I dig my elbow into his side. Not hard, but he topples over like I just took an axe to him. All that's missing is for someone to yell " timber" as he falls. Grinning, I tug him back into an upright position.

"I didn't hit you that hard."

"It was agony. I think I need you to kiss it better." He lifts his arm, wincing as he points. "Right there. Under my nipple."

I snort a laugh and watch the hot pink flamingo I'm dying to know everything about.

"I ran away from Garrison as well," I quietly admit.

I'm not sure why, but talking to Vaughn feels easy. He'll laugh at me, but he won't ever judge me or make me feel stupid. And he listens. Truly listens, even hearing the things I'm only brave enough to hint at.

Vaughn leans his shoulder against mine and I inhale his clean lemon scent. "Why?"

I hesitate. "I don't know."

He draws in a breath as he wraps his arm around me again, gently squeezing. "You do."

"I might have wanted him to kiss me. But it was just for a second." I glare at him like he accused me of murder. "It means nothing."

He snorts. "Is it such a bad thing to want to kiss Garrison and Blaine?"

"Yes. No. Maybe." I cover my hot face with both hands. "I don't kiss alphas."

"Hmm. Strange."

I peel my hands from my face. "What's strange?"

He's peering into the distance, his expression thoughtful. "That you wanted him to kiss you and you ran away, and at that last self-defense lesson, he got so hot and bothered, he ran away. Must be something in the air."

I stare at his profile. "What did you say?"

"I didn't say a thing. You must be hearing things."

"He told you that he was attracted to me? And what do you mean, he was hot and bothered?" I lick my lips and try to act casual as my heart pounds in excitement. "I don't care either way, but just out of curiosity, what did he say?"

He lifts his arm from my shoulder, smiling as he rubs his hands together and pushes himself to his feet. "I'd say my work here is done."

I grab his arm and drag him back. "You didn't do anything, and you haven't told me everything."

I need to know more about Blaine running away. I thought I'd done something wrong. But he was hot and bothered. Why? How?

He sits back down so quickly it's clear he was only pretending to leave.

Before I can make my annoyance known, his smile fades. "Blaine has spent the last few years pushing people away. Things are changing."

"So you want me to fix him, is that it?" I don't mean the question to come out so sharply. I guess I'm tired of being a thing. Or used. Maybe that's it. I'm tired of being used.

"He's not a broken thing that needs fixing. But he needs someone to talk to occasionally." His expression turns intense. "Maybe you need the same."

We look at each other. Along the way, Vaughn didn't just become someone I trusted, he became someone I liked, and I struggle to envision a future where he's not in my life. The problem is, he comes with two alphas and alphas are… complicated.

"I'm not sure I can be friends with an alpha."

That isn't what I mean. Friend doesn't come close to what I'm talking about.

Vaughn lifts his hand to my chin, his touch gentle as he dips his head and kisses me lightly on the lips. I lean into it, but he ends it far sooner than I wanted.

Betas are safe. Except this one. This one is in danger of occupying a space in my heart that will hurt when I return to my life.

Alphas want omegas, willing or unwilling. Betas want to matter. And omegas… I guess omegas who don't know what alphas are truly capable of want alphas too.

I just want to live the life I want instead of the life society thinks I need.

"You remember when I told you about that girl who fucked me and then tried to get into Garrison's bed?"

As if I could forget it.

"What about it?" I ask, getting angry all over again.

"After she left, Garrison said I never needed to worry about anything like that happening again. Blaine said the same thing. That we were pack and the woman who was ours would want all of us." His expression shutters. "Do you know what I was thinking as they were both reassuring me we'd always be a pack and nothing would change?"

There's a tension I'm not used to seeing in his face.

I almost don't want to ask. "What?"

"That if it was their scent match, would Garrison have been so eager to throw her out? What if she'd said she wanted me gone and just wanted them? Could you really see Garrison ordering his scent match to get out before the door hits her on her way out?"

No. I can't.

"And Blaine?" he prompts when I don't respond.

All I can do is peer up at him and wish I could tell him he's more than enough for me, and that, if I didn't have a life to go back too, I would happily stay with him. But I can't.

This life isn't mine.

His lip quirks in a half smile and he dips his head again, giving me a kiss so sweet, I want to wrap my arms around him and not let him go. "I'll see you later, bloodthirsty omega."

"That kiss wasn't the least bit friendly," I call after him. "Friends don't kiss each other like that."

He turns around, smiling as he walks backward to the house. "That might be because the way I feel about you isn't the least bit friendly."

I tilt my head as I scrutinize him. "If it's not friendly, then what is it?"

He stops. "You want me to tell you how I feel about you, bloodthirsty omega?"

His stare is intense and a little heated. It isn't the heat or even the intensity that makes me avoid his gaze. It's the underlying softness and the way my heart contracts in response. "You don't know me."

"I know enough," he says. "And I have seen enough to know exactly what I feel. Those feelings aren't going anywhere, and neither am I."

He salutes me then, and I can't help but smile.

"Why did you salute me?"

He looks at his hand like it belongs to a stranger before lowering it. "You know what? I couldn't tell you. Just felt like a saluting moment."

He grins and walks away, whistling.

I shake my head, smiling as he steps into the house. Garrison has a phone pressed to his ear as he stands in the doorway, and our eyes clash as he squeezes Vaughn's shoulder when he passes.

Turning away from the house, I get to my feet to do a slow circuit around the pool as I process my feelings for Vaughn, Blaine, and Garrison. I like them, and it's getting hard to want to return to the life I always hoped I would go back to.

I slow my steps, close my eyes and tilt my head back, basking in the early afternoon sun's warmth.

I yelp when something bites me. Wrenching my eyelids open, I slap my bare arm, hoping to hell it wasn't a wasp. I'm not allergic, but that really fucking hurt.

" Resa !" Garrison yells, distracting me. He isn't holding the phone anymore. His expression is severe. Angry, even, as he charges right at me.

"Something bit me," I try to tell him. My tongue feels thick in my mouth and a hot flush sweeps over my body as I hunt out this elusive wasp. It must have been a big one to leave a smear of blood on my arm.

" Resa !" Garrison yells again.

He's feet away, yet his scent is overpowering. Now that I'm thinking of it, so is mine. Thick and pungent, syrupy sweet. My breasts ache and my belly cramps. Almost as if…

No. I shake my head as I squint at the grass stretching toward me.

Pregnant omegas do not go into heat, so that can't be what this is.

Garrison yells something else. His voice is both distant and loud, which makes no sense at all, and the grass is still stretching toward me. That's okay. It looks soft.

I stretch toward it with a happy smile.