27. Resa

Chapter 27

Resa

T his morning, I have my appointment with Isaura, Sadie's OB-GYN friend.

So this morning is, to put it mildly, terrifying.

As I brush my teeth and shower, dressing in more brand-new designer clothes that keep appearing every time I turn around, I think about Sadie.

About how Sadie was thorough with my examination, and she even did a scan. It was easy to believe that everything was okay.

But now I'm about to see a specialist. If anyone is going to know for real, real, it's Isaura.

What if she sees something that Sadie missed? What if something is still wrong and I just don't know it?

All my thoughts tumble out of my head the second I step out of the bedroom because a certain beta is flat on my bed, ankles crossed, juggling those throwing stars. I swear my heart stops for three seconds.

"You ready?" he calls out.

I hadn't wanted to speak in case I distracted him and killed him.

"What are you doing?" I whisper. Yes, I whisper it. I don't want Vaughn to die.

"What does it look like? Trying to impress you. Is it working?"

"No." I grip the bathroom door handle as I ask myself how likely it is Garrison will blame me if he walks in and finds Vaughn dead on my bed.

"If I close my eyes?" His eyelashes flutter.

I suck in a breath, rushing over. " Don't !"

He catches all three stars and grins at me.

I glare at him. "What is wrong with you?"

"You looked real worried, bloodthirsty omega."

"Of course I was worried, you idiot," I snap. "Did you not notice me whispering so I wouldn't be responsible for a star landing in your eye?"

He studies me for a beat, a soft smile curving his lips, then he pats the space beside him. "Lie down for a sec."

I eye him warily. "Is this a friend thing or your version of a friend?" His version of friends is decidedly more than friendly than mine.

He looks surprisingly serious. "I won't try anything. Promise."

After hesitating for a beat, I stretch out on the bed beside him. I've barely seen Garrison and Blaine during my period of bedrest. I'm not sure if I'm disappointed they're staying away or relieved.

Last night, I heard Garrison reminding Vaughn that my appointment was at 9 and he should let me get some rest. He hadn't known that I don't really sleep, so if Vaughn wasn't hanging around my room, sprawled out in the weirdest positions over my carpet, I'd get the same amount of sleep as I usually do. Probably less.

I've enjoyed having Vaughn around, so even though he told me to kick him out the second I'm sick of him, I haven't been tempted to even once.

"Are you sure you don't want breakfast?" he asks. "I can try my hand at waffles and get that fancy apple juice you're addicted to."

Yes, it's an addiction, and no, I'm nowhere close to giving it up yet. I tell myself I am, but it's a lie.

I shake my head. The offer is sweet, but breakfast isn't an option. The way my belly is churning, I wouldn't make it to the clinic before I was throwing everything up again.

For the longest moment, Vaughn doesn't speak.

"I'm good with my hands."

I should have known better. Heaving a sigh, I move to get up.

"I was a pickpocket in California. I started with bags on the beaches, then moved onto pockets until I got caught," he says before I've sat all the way up. "Which is why I got sent to juvie."

I peer over my shoulder. He's still flat on his back, staring up at the ceiling.

Since this isn't turning into Vaughn's version of friends, I lie back down again. "Why'd you do it?"

"My mom worked in a diner and didn't earn much. If she had shit tips, we were lucky if we had enough food for the week. I grew up near the beach and saw how much shit people always left lying around, so I thought I could help myself to stuff they wouldn't miss." He must see my raised eyebrow because he sighs. "Yes, I know. I was young, blond, and stupid."

"I think you can remove one of those things from the list for being to blame. And not the young or stupid thing." I snort.

He barks out a laugh and I smile, surprised that I can smile at all after the last two years of hell.

He lifts his arm. "Come here."

My eyes narrow. "Hmm…"

"When the judge sentenced me, it was…" He swallows hard enough for me to track his bobbing Adam's apple. "Without a doubt, it was one of the most terrifying things that had ever happened to me. I was sixteen, and I thought my life was over. It's okay to be afraid, and I'd like to give you a hug if you let me."

"No funny business?"

He shakes his head. "No funny business."

I shuffle toward him and rest my head on his shoulder as he wraps his arms around my back, giving me a gentle squeeze.

"Everything will be okay, Resa. And if shit gets scary, we'll be right there with you."

How many times over the last two years did I wish for this? Someone to comfort me. To hug me. To care.

I squeeze my eyes as a prickle starts up at the back of my eyelids, not wanting to cry. "Thanks, Vaughn. And thanks for?—"

"Juggling? It's okay if you want to tell me you're impressed. I won't get a big head. Garrison says it's big enough, and not likely to get any bigger."

I snort a laugh. "You mean nearly having spiked stars fall into your face? No." I peel away and look at him. "For the other thing. Taking me to the clinic."

I was in no fit state to get myself there under my own power.

He tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. "Just glad you and baby are okay. Garrison yelled and well… he never yells. I thought the worst. We all did."

Garrison yelled ? I can't imagine it. He was single-handedly holding me together as I fell apart. I thought he was perfectly in control.

I'm still processing his admission when a knock sounds at the door. "Are you ready to go, Resa?"

It's Garrison.

Appointment time. One I looked forward to and one I equally dread.

Vaughn squeezes me again and releases me.

"I'm coming." Time to find out if everything truly is okay after all.

The drive to the clinic is quiet. Blaine drives again, Vaughn sits in the backseat beside me, and Garrison is in the passenger seat. I hadn't expected they would all come with me, but I'm glad I'm not going alone.

Lex gave me a small container of my fancy apple juice, and I nearly cried. I told myself it was hormones, but I think I was lying to myself.

As I sip my juice, I run through all the things that could go wrong. Isaura will have the results of my blood and urine tests, and Sadie probably showed her my scans. The second I walk into the room, I'll know if something is wrong.

I do not expect to be ambushed with a hug by a beautiful, smiling pregnant woman.

" Ah ! Resa. I have been so looking forward to meeting you," she announces in a softly Spanish accented voice.

In mere seconds, she has me across the room, perched on a loveseat. Sadie said Isaura doesn't work at the clinic all the time, but there are pictures on the desk, flowers, and signs that this is her office, even if she only uses it part time.

Dr. Isaura Lopes, from the name card on her light wood desk, is tall and curvy, with short dark hair that looks silky. She has large deep brown, almost black, laughing eyes and her skin is a flawless medium-brown with warm undertones.

She's in a navy chiffon sleeveless maxi dress with black flats. And the best thing of all, there's no sign of a white coat anywhere.

"Dr. Lopes, I?—"

She makes a soft sound in her throat. "Isaura, or Isa. I insist."

Sadie was brisk, efficient, but confident. Isaura's manner is the equivalent of a warm hug.

I steal a peek at her desk. No files there. If she has my test results, there's no sign of them, and she's too smiley to deliver devastating news. Unless she's a masochist. "About the results…"

"I'd like to take your hand. Can I do that?" she asks, palm up, her smile open and kind.

I nod tightly as I brace myself for the worst possible news. Garrison, Vaughn, and Blaine are waiting in the hallway. I wish I hadn't so confidently declared that I would be fine going in by myself, that I didn't need anyone to come in with me.

Isaura takes one of my hands between both of hers and gently squeezes, lowering her voice as if she can read my terror. "Today is about reassurance."

I forget to brace myself for bad news. Now I'm just confused.

She pats the back of my hand and smiles brightly. "Nerves are expected, so is fear, worry, anxiety, and as we drift closer to the birth, excitement. It is my job to alleviate as much of those negative feelings as I can. Now those handsome men you arrived with…"

For some inexplicable reason, I blush. "What about them?"

"I hope they don't mind waiting. We have a lot to get through today."

I glance at the closed door. They parked themselves right outside. Garrison said it was safe, and both Blaine and Vaughn nodded, but they still defaulted to security mode. That default mode seems to be guarding me.

"They said they didn't mind." Even though they must have something more important to do than sit around waiting for me to get through my appointment.

"Sadie told me a little of your history, and I understand you might not be ready or willing to share all, or even some, with me. That is okay."

"It is?"

She nods firmly. "It is. I have some questions about your health and any family diseases to minimize any bad surprises. I have your blood test and urine results, but I'd like to get your weight and height on record." Her grin is impish as she releases me to place a hand lovingly on her rounded belly. "My OB shames me for my love of chocolate. Every prenatal appointment, she knows how much I've let myself go."

Is it weird that I want to smile?

"I discovered fancy apple juice."

"Then you must have your men get you more of it."

My men?

"They are not my men," I deny.

Isaura's gentle smile says she doesn't believe me. "They will want to look after you."

I don't know how she can be so sure of that. Maybe it's because they've agreed to wait. I wonder if maybe not everyone waits.

Isaura must have spoken a little more with Sadie than she let on because her questions about my health and family center only around me. She doesn't ask about the birth father, and even if she had, I wouldn't be able to tell her.

"Your blood tests look okay, though I would recommend some iron. Your levels don't suggest anemia, but let's see if there's something we can do to improve the situation, hmm?"

The questions she asks me aren't difficult.

Yes, it's my first pregnancy.

No, there are no diseases in my family.

I don't remember when I had my last period.

My awareness of time after I realized I was pregnant shifted dramatically. I went from wanting to set every alpha on fire to thinking about how I would keep my child alive.

I don't know if my mom had problems having me.

I don't smoke or drink or do drugs.

The only medication I'm taking are the prenatal vitamins Sadie left me.

Isaura nods approvingly, and I feel strangely proud of myself for something that doesn't deserve any pride. It's taking a vitamin, and I didn't even do the work of getting them. Sadie did.

The physical part of the examination starts awkwardly.

I take the blue hospital gown that Isaura gets for me. One of those backless ones I wore the last time I was here and hoped never to wear again.

I change in a small side room, with nothing in it but a small table, a plant and a wall chart showing the stages of pregnancy from inception, a teeny tiny tadpole-like sperm, to a baby cradled in a woman's arms.

Try as I might, I try to envision myself holding my baby in my arms and I can't.

It feels like something that might be a million miles away, not the approximately six months, Isaura said. Even then, I'd be rare if I actually gave birth on my birth date. Few women ever do.

As we've tackled each part of the examination: the questions, discussions about my blood and urine test, checking my weight and height, more of my tension and fear have lifted away.

Back in her room, I settle on the table and lie down so Isaura can do a breast and pelvic exam. She explains what she is doing and it makes an awkward experience a little less so.

Everything is about reassuring me that everything is progressing well and that I'm healthy.

She presses on my stomach next. Not hard but searching. "I'm checking if any of these organs are enlarged. That might be a sign of problems that need more assessment. Any pain or discomfort?"

I shake my head. "Nothing."

"Excellent. Now we will move onto the pelvis."

I close my eyes, reminding myself that once this is all done, I can leave knowing everything is as it should be and nothing is wrong.

Isaura, finished now, peels off her gloves and smiles. "You can dress now. Everything looks good."

And the last of my tension—and my fear—melts away.

She writes up a script for iron for me, and we schedule another appointment for next week. It's one I don't even think about saying no to.

"Just to check everything is going okay. I don't usually see my patients again so soon, but you had a scare, and I'd like to follow up with you and ease anymore concerns you have."

I agree.

By the time I leave the appointment, it's approaching midday. Reassurance, it seems, is not a fast process.

Garrison, Vaughn, and a noticeably tense Blaine spin to face me the second I push the door open. They take one look at me and their shoulders relax.

"Everything okay?" Garrison asks, his gaze flicking from me to Isaura.

"Just have to take some iron." I brandish the script.

It's in Vaughn's hand the next second. I'm not sure how when I didn't see him move. "Awesome. We can pick this up for you on the way home."

I'd been terrified going into this appointment. It hadn't crossed my mind that they might be as well. The surprise must be the reason I forget to correct Vaughn when he says home.

"Come back with questions next time, Resa," Isaura says, drawing me into a hug. "And we can tiptoe a little closer to preparing for the next few months, okay?"

I hoped to escape, planned to kill all alphas, but preparing to have a baby? I never quite reached that stage. Isaura is making it feel a little less scary with every word.

I smile. "Okay."

By the time we pile back into the Hummer, it's lunchtime. How do I know? My stomach reminds me that I skipped breakfast by letting out an epic growl.

I blush.

A Hummer is not a small car but I'm sharing the space with three men who couldn't help but hear my growling belly.

Garrison is driving now. Blaine, sitting in the passenger seat, is quiet.

We're halfway down the road when Garrison says casually, "Did you hear about that new burger joint down this way?"

And Vaughn says, "You know what? I've been meaning to try it out. Blaine?"

"I guess I could eat," Blaine responds.

I have to look out my window to hide my smile because this is the worst attempt at casual I've heard in my life.

"Resa? You want to try out this place?" Garrison asks.

"I guess." As if anyone could have missed my stomach.

He pulls into the drive-thru and orders burgers, fries, and shakes for us all. Bags get passed to the back, and I inhale two burgers and two lots of fries before we make it back to their mansion.

Along the way, we stop at a chemist and Vaughn jumps out, refusing to let me pick up my iron prescription.

I just sit in the backseat, stuffing my face.

No one eats as much as I do. But, like my epic growling belly, no one seems to notice.