Chapter 23

Chapter 23

The next morning saw Sebastian getting up quite early to go to the market. Though he could have sent any of his friends in his stead, the truth was that he wanted to get out of the manor and have some time to think. Despite Caroline's promise to keep her distance from Edward and not see the man alone, Sebastian still struggled to keep Beatrice's warning out of his head.

What had the other girl meant? Perhaps, he mused, it was a bit of jealousy but then again she had nothing to gain from it. So caught up in his own thoughts was he, that he hardly noticed Edward Pembroke until the man stood right beside him and he looked at him stiffly.

"Morning Lord Casterbridge," Edward greeted happily. "I must say, I am rather relieved to be such good friends with your wife again. I am sure you will be seeing a lot more of me."

At this, Sebastian turned and his eyes turned into narrow slits as he looked at Edward. "Lord Pembroke," he said slowly, his voice measured. "I would appreciate it if you kept your distance from my wife."

Edward lifted a brow at this and a smirk appeared on his lips. "Should she not ask me that herself, My Lord?" he said daringly, and Sebastian let out an angry breath.

"Do not test me, Pembroke," he whispered, his voice low. "You will not succeed. Caroline is my wife—and while I respect the fact that you were childhood friends, you ought to know that I do not want you near her."

"But she does," Edward challenged, his eyes turning into narrow slits. "Think of it, Lord Casterbridge. Caroline never would have married you had it not been for the scandal. She was forced to endure your wedding, but before that happened, she was mine. My partner, my friend and she would have been my wife. Do you think she does not think of that whenever you touch her? Do you not think, even for a second, that a part of her wishes you were me?"

A muscle jumped in Sebastian's jaw at this and Edward smirked—clearly gaining at least some pleasure from Sebastian's discomfort. The latter moved forward slightly, his eyes meeting Edward's without reluctance.

"Keep dreaming, Pembroke," he said, his voice but a whisper. "Just know… that I do not want you near my wife and if I catch you with her… you will regret it."

Though Edward opened his mouth for a retort, he was not given the chance to verbalize it, as Sebastian hastened his steps and walked away—leaving all he had intended to buy just there in the middle of the market.

For a few seconds, his rage at merely seeing the man was enough to dissuade Sebastian from going home. Logically, however, he was well aware of the fact that it was not at all Caroline's fault that he had run into the man—and he would not refrain from seeing his wife because another man had gotten under his skin.

Caroline was seated at the kitchen table when he entered and her face lit up when she saw him. "I thought you left for work," she announced and Sebastian shook his head before approaching her, taking her face between his hands and pressing his lips against hers in a kiss.

For a split second, she did not react—shell-shocked by the suddenness of his affection, but soon she gave in and wrapped her arms around his neck, giving in to the kiss eagerly, allowing him to pull her to her feet. When he finally let go of her, she was breathless and she stared at him with wide eyes, pressing her hand to her heart.

"What was that for?"

Sebastian looked his wife up and down slowly, and a smile settled around his lips. "You just looked so beautiful sitting there," he explained, reaching for her once more and wrapping his arms around her. "I just had to kiss you."

It was half-true, he admitted silently. A part of him, yes, kissed her because Edward Pembroke did not have that honor. But in truth, she did look seductively beautiful where she sat and he felt himself unable to keep from tasting her lips.

She affected him more than any woman had, he mused, as he looked at her now while she attempted to pat down her hair. She was not unaffected by the kiss—that much was evident by the blush on her face and the sharp points her breasts made against her dress. He was certain that if he just pressed a hand under her dress, she'd be slick with arousal and the thought sent a jolt of warmth to the pit of his stomach.

"I was hoping we could spend the day together," she whispered, and his glance turned to her quickly, his eyes dark with want. Her face flushed and she licked over her lips.

"Perhaps," she continued, stumbling over her words, "perhaps we could… have a picnic or a promenade or… something."

Sebastian looked down at her with a grin before brushing his lips against hers in a quick, chaste kiss. "A promenade sounds lovely," he said at last and she let out a breath—one he was certain was relief.

Within minutes the carriage was called and he made sure to sit closely next to her as they rode to Hyde Park, his thigh brushing against hers with every bump of the carriage, and his hand trembling whenever she touched it.

Never before had a woman affected him like this, though this was not something he wanted to ponder too much.

Still, there was no denying that he was overly aware of his wife. The confines of the carriage seemed to magnify her presence, the soft floral scent of her perfume washing over him in the enclosed space.

As soon as the carriage came to a halt, Sebastian was quick to help Caroline step down, his hand lingering a bit longer than necessary on the small of her back, the warmth of her body sending a thrill through his own.

He had never been one for promenades, and yet he found himself enjoying it far more than he'd expected. As they strolled through Hyde Park, her hand resting lightly on his arm, he couldn't help but marvel at the easy conversation that flowed between them.

"Oh, look at that lovely patch of wildflowers," Caroline exclaimed, pointing to a burst of color amidst the greenery. "Aren't they exquisite?"

"Indeed," Sebastian agreed, though his gaze was more focused on the way the sunlight brought out the golden threads in her hair. "Though not nearly as exquisite as the company."

Caroline ducked her head, a becoming blush staining her cheeks. "Flatterer," she accused, but there was no mistaking the pleased smile tugging at her lips.

"It is not flattery if it is true," Sebastian said, then flashed her a smile. "I am proud to have married you, Caroline. You… you are everything a man could wish for in a wife. On the inside and outside."

Caroline looked up at him, her cheeks slightly tinted and a warm look in her eyes. "I am proud to have you as a husband too," she muttered, a beautiful smile settling about her face.

As they continued their walk, Sebastian found himself regaling her with tales of his and Nathaniel's misadventures, just to hear her laugh. The sound was quickly becoming one of his favorite things, bright and uninhibited.

"You didn't!" she gasped, her eyes sparkling with mirth as he recounted a particularly embarrassing incident involving a bottle of purloined brandy and a ill-advised wager.

"I'm afraid I did," he confirmed with a rueful grin. "Though in my defense, I was but a lad of sixteen at the time. Not yet in possession of the wisdom and restraint of my advanced years."

This drew another peal of laughter from her, and she shook her head in amused disbelief. "The vaunted Lord Casterbridge, brought low by a dare and a bit too much liquid courage. Who would have thought?"

The teasing note in her voice warmed him, even as her casual use of his title served as a reminder of the newness of their relationship. There was still so much to learn about each other, so many layers to uncover.

But as the days passed and they fell into a comfortable routine of shared meals and quiet evenings spent in companionable pursuits, Sebastian found himself looking forward to each new discovery.

One afternoon, as they sat across from each other in the library, engrossed in their respective books, he glanced up to find her watching him, a pensive expression on her face.

"What is it?" he asked, setting his volume aside. "You look like you've stumbled upon a particularly perplexing passage."

Caroline's lips quirked, and she shook her head. "It's nothing, really. I was just wondering... Do you ever feel like this is all a bit surreal? You and I, here, like this?"

Sebastian's brow furrowed, and he leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees.

"What do you mean?"

She gestured vaguely around the room, encompassing the both of them with a sweep of her hand. "Just... everything. If you had told me a few months ago that I'd be sitting here, in this house, with you as my husband, I would have thought you'd gone mad."

A rueful smile tugged at Sebastian's mouth. "I suppose I can understand that. Our path to matrimony was hardly a conventional one."

"No," Caroline agreed, her expression thoughtful. "But I'm finding that the reality is not nearly as daunting as I once feared. In fact, it's rather... pleasant."

Something warm unfurled in Sebastian's chest at her words, and he reached across the space between them to take her hand in his. "I'm glad you feel that way, Caroline. Because I'm finding myself quite enjoying this unconventional path we're on."

Her fingers tightened around his, and she met his gaze, her blue eyes soft and earnest. "As am I, Sebastian. Truly."

In that moment, sitting there with her hand in his and the golden afternoon light slanting across the polished floorboards, Sebastian felt a sense of rightness, of inevitability. Whatever twists and turns had brought them to this point, whatever obstacles might yet lie ahead, he knew one thing with a bone-deep certainty—he was exactly where he was meant to be.

***

Caroline took a deep breath as she waited for Edward to arrive, her hands clasped tightly in her lap. She had spent the last few days in a whirlwind of emotion, her growing feelings for Sebastian warring with the lingering guilt and confusion over her friendship with Edward. But as she sat there, steeling herself for the conversation to come, she knew with a sudden, crystalline clarity what she needed to do.

The sound of the doorbell drew her from her thoughts, and she rose to greet Edward as he was shown into the parlor. He smiled warmly at the sight of her, but there was a hint of uncertainty in his eyes, as if he sensed the seriousness of her demeanor.

"Caroline," he greeted, bowing his head in greeting when she stepped away from his attempt at a chaste kiss. "Thank you for inviting me. Your message sounded rather urgent—is everything alright?"

She gestured for him to take a seat, waiting until he was settled before speaking. "Edward... I asked you here today because I feel we need to talk. About us, and our friendship."

His brow furrowed, and he leaned forward, concern etched into his features. "What about it? I thought we'd resolved things, found a way to move forward."

Caroline sighed, her fingers twisting in the folds of her skirt. "I thought so too. But the truth is, Edward, I don't think we have. And I'm not sure we can, not in the way we used to."

She held up a hand, forestalling his protest. "Please, let me finish. These past weeks with Sebastian, settling into my new life and my role as his wife... it's changed things for me. Changed how I see myself, and what I want for my future."

Edward's face clouded, a flicker of anger sparking in his eyes. "Did he put you up to this? Is he forcing you to cut ties with me?"

"No!" Caroline exclaimed, shaking her head vehemently. "Sebastian doesn't even know I'm doing this. This is my decision, Edward. Mine alone."

She took a breath, forcing herself to meet his gaze steadily. "The truth is, I care for you, Edward. You've been a dear friend to me for so long. But some of the things you've said, the way you've acted recently... it's not appropriate. And it's not fair to Sebastian, or to our marriage."

"Caroline," Edward started, a note of desperation creeping into his voice. "Surely you must know how I feel about you, how much I lo—"

"Stop," she cut him off, her tone sharp. "Do not say it, Edward. I cannot help but feel as though this is some sort of game to you. Like you're trying to win me away from my husband."

She shook her head, a sad smile touching her lips. "But that's not going to happen. I'm committed to Sebastian, to our life together. And I need to focus on that, on building a strong and healthy marriage."

Edward stared at her, a muscle ticking in his jaw as he struggled to control his emotions. "So that's it then? Years of friendship, just cast aside?"

Caroline reached out, laying a gentle hand on his arm. "I'm not casting anything aside, Edward. I'm just asking for some space, some time for things to settle. I truly hope that one day, when all of this is behind us, we can find a way to be friends again. But for now... I think it's best if we keep our distance."

He was silent for a long moment, his expression unreadable. Then, slowly, he stood, giving her a stiff nod. "If that's what you want, Caroline. I won't push you further."

Relief washed through her, and she stood as well, walking him to the door. "Thank you, Edward. For understanding."

He made no motion to indicate that he had heard her at all—merely walking out of the drawing room, his shoulders slightly bent. Caroline closed her eyes and sighed. She had known he would not take it well, but despite his clear dejection she could not regret her decision. She had done the right thing. She was certain of it.

The lightness followed her to dinner, where she found her husband at the table with a dark frown between his brows. He was quiet through most of the meal, and when he suddenly spoke his voice was measured.

"Caroline, I had hoped that I would be able to move on beyond this," he started, putting his utensils down and turning his attention only to her. "But I cannot deny that I am… bothered… by your friendship with Pembroke."

Caroline opened her mouth to retort, but Sebastian shook his head with a sigh. "I am ashamed to admit it, but I feel… this hot rage in my chest whenever I think of you with him, and I don't… I am not sure what…"

"Sebastian," Caroline interjected softly and she lay a hand atop his wrist. "Stop. I ended my friendship with Edward today."

He cast his eyes up to her quickly and she nodded, a soft smile appearing on her lips. Though he tried, Sebastian was unable to hide his own growing smile.

"I apologize," he said at last. "I did not mean for you to have to end a friendship, but…"

Caroline shook her head quickly, her own smile reflecting his. "Edward has not acted like a true friend in quite some time," she admitted. "And if I had to choose, the choice is simple. You are my husband."

"You…" Sebastian swallowed and shook his head as though in disbelief. "You'd choose me over a friend?"

"In a heartbeat," Caroline admitted quickly, then sighed almost sadly. "Sebastian, when this… scandal… happened, everyone turned their backs on me, except you. Not only did you agree to marry me and give me a home, but all my life it's felt like I had to walk on eggshells… that I had to hide who I really was, for the sake of propriety. Not in any big, profound manner, but… in small day-to-day ways, I'd pretended and kept my true self locked up. With you…" Caroline shook her head and blinked the tears away. "You make me feel as though I can be who I truly am."

Sebastian looked at her earnestly. "I will always allow you to be who you are, Caroline," he said, his voice heavy with emotion. "Because you make me feel the same. As though I do not have to hide any part of myself with you."

Their eyes met and Caroline nodded slowly. "It is as though my soul feels safe with you," she whispered and her heart skipped a beat when her husband shifted his plate off to the side and took her hand in his. Though the word love was not on his lips, it was most certainly in his eyes as he led her to the bedchamber and pressed his lips against hers in a tender kiss.

"Let us put everything that has marred this marriage behind us," she whispered as he slid her gown off her body to reveal her porcelain skin. "Let us move forward–just the two of us."

Sebastian wasted no time–picking his wife up in his arms and toppling down on the bed with her, his hands exploring her skin as if for the very first time.