Chapter 14

Fourteen

Will

"Come on," Will said, pulling Jacob into the elevator after him. "I've always wanted to do this, I've been seeing my friends' pictures from the Sears tower, or… I guess they call it the Willis tower now, my whole life."

The elevator started going up, and Will could see how nervous Jacob was. Wow, he really wasn't kidding about his fear of heights , Will thought, starting to feel kind of bad about making Jacob do this.

"Hey," he said softly, into Jacob's ear. "I thought this would be fun, and maybe you could face your fear and I wouldn't be the only one who made a fool of myself – remember how scared I was in that movie?" Will said, smiling.

Jacob nodded, swallowing and looking nervously as the elevator skyrocketed up, floor after floor passing them by.

"Okay. I'm going up here with you, and I'll see how I feel at the top. I'm not promising I'm gonna walk out on that glass ledge…" Jacob said.

"Totally. You don't have to do anything you don't want to. But if you do want to, I'll be right here," Will offered, gently putting his hand on Jacob's shoulder.

Will was excited to get to the top. He had seen so many photos from the top of this tower. It had glass ledges where people could stand and look down over the entire city below them. It sounded thrilling to Will, even if it made his knees shake a little bit. But he didn't know about Jacob. He didn't want to actually scare him; he had just wanted to give him an opportunity to do something he never thought he could.

The elevator finally got to the top floor, and everyone inside stepped out and onto the floor. Will saw the glass enclosures in front of him. He turned back to Jacob.

"I'm gonna go step onto one. You can just stay here. Sorry for making you come up here. I didn't realize your fear of heights was that serious," Will said, sympathetically.

Jacob nodded, so Will turned back around and made his way to the glass ledge.

Wow . He had seen photos of this, but they didn't compare. He almost got weak in the knees standing on that glass, over a thousand feet above the street and looking straight down at it. He began to get a little dizzy looking down, so he looked up and out at the city.

It really was beautiful. He could see the blue water of Lake Michigan, stretching out in the late afternoon sunlight. The tall buildings sparkled in the light, and the cars on the ground looked as tiny as ants. He put his face close to the glass and stared out, imagining he was floating above the city.

From behind him, he felt a hand grasp his lower arm. Confused, he turned around.

It was Jacob. His eyes were squeezed shut, and he opened one eye a tiny crack, looking straight at Will, specifically avoiding looking down or out at the city.

A huge smile crept across Will's face.

"Hah! I knew you could do it! You're above all of Chicago, Jacob," Will said, and he couldn't help but wrap his arms around Jacob and give him a supportive hug.

"Okay, okay, I did it, I gotta get the hell off of here now," Jacob choked out, a grimace on his face.

Will let Jacob go and grabbed his hand to lead him off of the glass platform. They safely were back on the regular floor, and Jacob looked away from the glass windows, taking in a huge breath.

"I cannot believe I just did that," he said, wide-eyed.

"I can," Will said, smiling. "We all face our fears sometime, whether it's in a movie theater or in the tallest building in Chicago."

Jacob nodded, seeming mostly relieved that it was over, but still nervous to be on the top floor.

"Okay. How much longer until we can go back down that elevator," Jacob said, and Will laughed. It was the first time Will had seen Jacob so innocent, so vulnerable. He realized that he had involuntarily hugged Jacob on the platform. Oops , he thought, sorry but… not sorry. He had shown more affection than he had planned.

They finally made it into an elevator, and Will saw Jacob's tension ease with every passing floor.

"Okay. I did what I wanted to do, and made you suffer because of it. The rest of the night is yours. What do you want to do?" Will said as they stepped out of the front of the building, back onto the busy streets.

"Well, I think first I wanna track down those Chicago hot dogs," Jacob said.

"Cool. First place we pass that has ‘em, let's go inside," Will said.

"God, it feels so good to be on the ground !" Jacob said, laughing.

Will smiled back at him. "It does, doesn't it?"

They ventured east, passing under the lofty buildings as they walked. It was a beautiful afternoon, slightly breezy, with none of the intense windiness that Chicago is known for.

After a few blocks, Will noticed a young couple walking by with the perfect looking hot dogs. He asked them where they were from, and they pointed to a shop just a block down.

Will and Jacob headed there and ordered their Chicago dogs, with all the fixings. They were absolutely delicious. They ate on the street corner, as the light breeze blew through Will's hair. They couldn't even talk as they ate – they just kept taking bites and nodding at one another in a silent agreement: Yes, this is the good stuff .

After they finished, Jacob held up his finger to Will.

"I just have to do one thing," he said. Will looked at him quizzically. Jacob went back into the hot dog shop and came back out a minute later with one more in his hand, taking a bite.

Will laughed. "Of course. I should have known," he said, shaking his head and resigning himself to how adorable Jacob was.

After eating, they wandered east a little more until they hit a huge park, full of lush green grass and trees. They walked down the pathways in the park, people watching, taking in the scenery. Will really did feel peaceful, almost complete. He didn't need anything else in the world at that moment, and wished he could just stay there forever. He wasn't worried about jobs, responsibilities, his future… he was just enjoying a sunny afternoon with Jacob.

As they walked, they came upon a pavilion where people were sitting on a hill. There were hundreds of people, and it looked like they were waiting to watch a concert or something on the stage in front of them.

"I think I know what this is," Will said, remembering what he had seen online when looking up things to do in Chicago. "They do free movies in the park some nights in the summer."

He looked at Jacob, his eyes raised and arms shrugged in the air.

"Wanna?" he asked.

"Sure, sounds good! We got all the time in the world." Jacob responded.

They climbed through the grass, passing by families and couples. They found a spot in the back and sat down in the grass.

"Chicago is beautiful, I had no idea," Will said, looking around him and breathing deep.

"It is nice, isn't it? I feel like I could stay here forever," Jacob said.

About ten minutes later, the movie started. It was a cheesy 80s movie, the perfect type for a lazy summer evening. As they watched, the sun began to set, and the lampposts in the park slowly began to turn on, filling the park with a warm glow. Someone came by selling lemonade, and Jacob bought one for them to share.

Will was hyper aware of Jacob's body next to his, as always. It took everything in him to resist resting his head on Jacob's shoulder, leaning against him, or wrapping his hands around his upper arm. He felt downright romantic , here in the park with this gorgeous man, watching a movie at night. For about half the movie, Will's thoughts were purely on Jacob.

But the movie finished without fanfare, and Will was able to keep his hands off Jacob. They got up after the end credits and stretched out as the crowd dispersed throughout the park.

"So, what now? It's still not really that late," Jacob asked.

"Hmmm… I think just a little bit that way is the lake, wanna go check it out? Probably looks pretty cool at night," Will said, pointing towards the east.

"Awesome. Let's go," Jacob said, and they set off.

The park was stunning at night, the lights shining through the trees, guiding the way toward the lake. There were still plenty of people there, but the crowds had lessened from earlier in the afternoon.

"There it is!" Will said, pointing.

They walked to the edge of the land and stopped to look out at the lake. There were small boats floating on the water in front of them. Will spotted an empty bench right on the edge of the water and strolled over to claim it. Jacob followed, sitting next to Will, both of them looking out over the quiet lake and boats.

"I had a really good day today, Will," Jacob said, his voice appreciative.

"I did too, Chicago is awesome. I'm surprised you don't wanna kill me for making you go to the top of that tower," Will said with a small laugh, shaking his head.

"Naw, that's the last thing I wanna do," Jacob said, looking over at Will and then back out to the water. He paused. "This whole trip has been good. I kinda thought my world was gonna fall apart, after college ended, but so far it actually seems better."

"Hmm? What do you mean, you thought it would fall apart?" Will asked.

"Well, you know. I was pretty active on campus. Had my soccer games, extracurriculars, friends. I thought I'd feel empty without them, without something defined and scheduled to do every day. But after all my friends left, it's almost like I felt more free. I hope that doesn't make me sound like a bad friend," Jacob said, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his hoodie.

"Nah, it doesn't. I kinda know what you mean. I had a ton of acquaintances in school, and I can't say I miss any of them yet. Other than Maya, but she's my best friend," Will said. He put an arm on the back of the bench, slightly turning his body toward Jacob.

"It's good that you have that close of a relationship with someone. I'm kinda envious of that. I had so many friends throughout college, but I don't think I ever had one real, close friend. No one I'd tell everything to, y'know," Jacob replied. His gaze was fixed on the water, watching it ripple softly in the light of the lamps.

"Yeah, it's hard to find friends like that," Will said. "Maya was actually the first person I came out to."

"Really?" Jacob asked.

"Yup. Freshman year. It happened pretty fast. I met her in the first week of school, and I could tell she was awesome. In the second week, we went to some party, got drunk, and she tried to kiss me. I had to let her down, tell her why I wouldn't kiss back," Will said, laughing.

Jacob laughed. "You guys obviously got through it, though."

"Oh yeah, right away. She might have been disappointed for a grand total of ten minutes, then immediately was happy to have a best friend in me. And the rest is history. She tells me everything."

"Well, you're a lucky guy," Jacob said, smiling slightly, his eyes on the water. "I kinda think part of the reason I never made any close friends is because I didn't feel like I really fit anywhere. Aren't those kinds of shitty feelings supposed to end in high school?" Jacob asked.

"I don't know if it ever ends, honey," Will said, agreeing with Jacob. He hoped that his use of the word "honey" had come off sarcastic, instead of flirty, and mentally prodded himself to remember his filter. "What do you mean, you didn't fit in? You just got done saying you were Mister Participation, in all kinds of extracurriculars and on teams."

"Well, that's the thing. I like soccer, but then I also am into business. And then outside of school? I'm a nerd who likes lockpicking, of all things, and cooking. Try finding other soccer players that geeky," Jacob said.

"Oh, come on. There's all kinds of people out there. I'm sure some sportsy guys are nerdy too, especially nowadays. Nerds are the new billionaires, and all that," Will said. A leaf blew into Jacob's hood, and he picked it up, tossing it into the breeze.

Jacob sighed. "Yeah, I know you're right. It was probably more my personality than it was my interests," he said, trailing off. "I can actually be kind of shy. I keep to myself, that kind of thing."

"Well, maybe you felt that way throughout school. But part of making friends is being vulnerable with people, showing them your true self, good and bad," Will said, looking over at Jacob. "So, let's do it. Let's practice. Tell me something you've never told anyone, something you'd normally just keep inside."

Jacob turned his head towards Will and laughed. "I don't know Will, what do you want me to say?" he asked, fidgeting.

"I don't know! It has to come from you. It could be anything. Something cool, something weird, something sad, something mischievous, whatever. I won't judge you," Will prodded him.

Jacob breathed deep. "Ohhhh-kay, let's see… uhhhm… well, this definitely counts as something I haven't told anyone. I went on this camping trip with some soccer buddies four years ago, over the summer. We were staying in one big tent for the whole ten days, so I quickly realized that I couldn't… y'know… take care of myself at night or in the morning, or anytime, really. There was no privacy out there, no showers, nothing. So I just refrained from doing it the whole time, and I didn't think it would be that big of an issue. But on the last night there, I guess I must have been super pent up or something, because I woke up from what must have been a wet dream… it was everywhere. On my boxers, sleeping bag, pants. I knew the guys would see if I just got up when the rest of them did. So I waited til they had all gotten up and I sneakily changed clothes and folded up my sleeping bag. Thank god it was the last day," Jacob said, shaking his head.

Will laughed, his eyes wide. "…Wow!"

"Yeah. I already kinda regret telling you that, I don't want you to think I'm some weirdo perv. I've grown up a lot since then," Jacob laughed nervously.

"No, no, that's totally fine. That's what I wanted, something you hadn't told anyone before. See? It's not so bad. I don't hate you just because you came all over your sleeping bag," Will said, laughing even harder. Jacob's laughter soon joined his.

"What about you? I just told you the most ridiculous, embarrassing story, you gotta give me something back," Jacob said, turning toward Will.

"Psshhh… I mean, you've already witnessed me embarrassing myself on multiple occasions, my life is basically a series of embarrassing moments. Remember when we met in the bar? Yeah ," Will said, shaking his head a little. "But if you want, I've got plenty of embarrassing stories. You wanna hear about how I dressed as Madonna for a high school Halloween party? Yeah, apparently I didn't know, or admit, that I was gay at the time, but everyone else could certainly tell," he said, grinning.

Jacob laughed, looking down at his lap. Will was close enough to feel the heat of Jacob's body, but the space between them couldn't have seemed larger. Every ounce of Will ached to close it, to take Jacob's face in his hands and kiss him. He was surprised at how insecure, and unsure of himself, he had learned Jacob really was. Days ago when he had met Jacob, he had assumed he was just another jock, chasing girls and money and having not a care in the world. But Jacob didn't seem preoccupied with any of those things. He was searching for something, a place of belonging. And Will wanted more than anything for Jacob to find it.