44

What did I just admit?

That'sall I can think of inthe cab back to my apartment.

I glance behind me at the gallery, slowly getting smaller in the distance. Running from Jackson is just a temporary solution. He knows where I work, where I live, everything about me.

I'monly walking away tonight because he let me go. He wants me to stop running, to choose to stay with him. But Ican'tthrow my morals away for this man just because his touch makes it feel likeI'mon fire with holy flames.

Back at my apartment, l lock the door and gratefully step into the rusty shower. The hot water sears at my skin while I try to make sense of everything.

My gut is telling meHyde'svictims deserved to die. They inflicted unspeakable pain on Jackson.

But without my moral code, who even am I?

For some twisted reason, Jackson believesI'lllet him get away with everything and embrace the dark way of vigilante justice.

I step out of the shower. All I want to do is crawl into bed, take an Ambien, and knock myself out for at least nine hours.I'mlonging for that sweetdarklimbo whereI'mtemporarily free from the warthat'stearing my insides in two.

But first, I pick up my phone.Henrik'svoice answers. He sounds panicked."Detective? Are you hurt?I'mso sorry, Ididn'tknow what to do after you and Jackson left—"

I cut him off."It'sokay, Dr Lund.I'msafe. But I have a question for you."

***

Once the call with Henrik ends, I finally climb into bed.

Idon'tknow why the thought of betraying Jackson weighs so heavily inside me. Scratch that—it'snot a betrayal to turn in a criminal. So why do I feel this way?

I push it out of my mind. Outto the farthest corners where itcan'thurt me, into the deep, black darkness like the void of outer space.

It'sstill early thenext morningwhen I burst intoHawkins'office at the station. He looks up from his case file, lowering his reading glasses.

"What is it, Cain?"

I breathe out. Time seems to slow.

ButI'vealready made my decision. My head has overruled this dark, beautiful thing inside my heart.

Obey first. Complain later.

It"s the rule I broke on the day that led me to Jackson"s therapy office. I

This time,I'vedecided to obey. Head over heart. Mind over emotion. Law over chaos.

My conversation with Henrik echoes in my head.

"Would you be willing to testify about what happened at your house today?"I ask.

A pause. Long and heavy.We'reboth betraying a man we care about.

Butwe'rea professor and a detective. We follow the rules of institutions. What else can we do?

"Yes, Detective. I am."

I dig my nails into my palms as I answer Hawkins.

"Iknow the real identity of Hyde."