34

My heart pounds heavily as my hand hoversin front ofJackson'soffice door.

Since fleeing from his house in the depths of last night,I"vebeen trying to steel myself for this moment.

Last night changed everything, and now I need to warn him beforeit'stoo late.

I thoughtI could handle this alone: capturing Hyde, managing the tangled mess of emotions I feel for him, and protecting the people around me.

ButI'mso out of my depth. If Hyde breaks his promise, Jackson might be the first to get hurt. My heart somehow trustsHyde'sword, but how can I trust a serial killer?

I need to make sure Jackson is safe.Jackson, with his sunshine kindnessthatburnsthrough all my carefully constructed defenses.

And after that,I'mgoing tofind Hawkins and tell him everything.

I know Hyde threatened to hurt my team if I told anyone, butI'verun out of options.

So this might be the last time I see Jackson Keller. It might even cost me my job. ButI'dsacrifice everythingjustto stop the people around me from gettinghurt. Ican'tbear the weight of any more blood on my conscience.

The door opens. I force myself to meetJackson'seyes.

"Ava. Come in. Iwasn'tsureI'dsee you today."He smiles, but it has a distracted edge. Is he just mortified to see me after my behavior last night?

I settle into my usual seat across from him, my throat tight. Before he can say anything to begin the session, I speak up.

"I'msorry, Jackson.I'msorry for coming to your house last night and crying on you and falling asleep on your couch."I cringe at my own words."God, saying it out loud makes it sound even worse."

He smiles, giving that gentle, low laugh. The warmth of it tugs at my heart;he'sjust making thisharder.

"It'sfine, Ava,"he reassures me."I was concerned you felt uncomfortable with what happened. You were gone when I got up this morning."

I feel asmallflicker of relief. At leasthedidn'thear Hyde fucking me up against his door last night.

"It was all my fault anyway. I wasjustsuch a mess last night after Frank showed up at my doorandyou were so kind to me. So I wanted to say… thank you."

"I appreciate that. But you don't have to thank me. I was just doing my job."

Right. Justhisjob.He'dextend the same kindness to any of his patients. Why does that make me feel a flicker of disappointment in my chest? Evenif there was noHyde, Jackson and I could never be together.

Nerves flutter inside me."I need to warn you about something, Jackson. Ishould'vecome sooner. I pride myself on not being scared of anything. But the truth is,I'mterrified."

A sob threatens to escape my mouthandI battle to choke it down.I wanted to spit out mywhole,awful speech in one go, but Ican'tspeak for a moment.

"Warn me about what?"Jackson'sfacejusthas a look of empathetic understanding. He thinksI'mgoing toconfess to some little personal flaw, not something that could destroy us both.

I steel myself. I cried my ration of tears for the year last night, so now I have to be strong.

"Ijoined the police force so I could protect people. But I failed you."

Jackson leans forward, a glint of emotion in his eyes."You could never fail me, Ava."

I drop my eyes to the ground. "Stop. Don't comfort me. I don't deserve it."

After a deep breath, I continue."Last night, I woke up in the night on your couch. You must have gone to bed. I saw someone standing over me. For asecondI thought it was you… But itwasn't."

Jackson'sgaze is fixed on me."Who was it, Ava?"

"Hyde."

I bite my lip, waiting for it all to come crashing down.

A wave of shock rolls overJackson'sface."Hyde? How do you know it was him?"

"That'sthe thing. I told you about seeinghimat the crime scene. I know you suspected there was more to the story thanwhatI told you, and you were right.He'sstalking me, haunting me like a ghost."

Ican'tface telling him everything. Ican'ttell him how my body gives in toHyde'stouch every fucking time in an instant. Ican'ttellhimthat Ifeel a twisted, magnetic connection to this killer that goes beyond anythingI'veever felt—even what I feel for Jackson.

His jaw clenches, and he runs a hand through his dark hair."Whydidn'tyou tell me this sooner?"

"Hyde blackmailed me. He threatened to target the people from my team if I told anyone at all."

I chew on my lip, conscious thatI'momitting the part where I fell into a twisted obsession with Hydetoo.I"malso acutely aware ofJackson"sability to sense whenI"mwithholding information. His eyes are burning into me.

"Andto be honest, I thought I could play his game,"I admit."He seemed… obsessed with me.I thoughtI could use it to our advantage.Findout more intel that couldcrack the case and get him arrested."

Jackson'seyebrows hike up."Does Hawkins know any of this?"

"Not yet. I came here first to warn you.Hewas after me, buthebroke into your house, Jackson. He knows about your connection to me. I swear, I never meant to put you in danger."

His jaw clenches."So what now?"

"I'mgoing to see Hawkins and tell him everything. You can come with me.We'llarrange a security detail and find a safehouse location for you until we catch him."

I want Jackson to jump into action, but he doesn't move. "Hyde said he'd target your team if you told them any of this. Aren't you worried about that?"

"Of course I am.That'swhy I kept it all to myself. Butyou'renot a cop, Jackson. Youdidn'tchoose this life. All you do is help people, and nowyou'rein danger.It'sgone too far."

A dark expression twitches onJackson'sfeatures before he sighs and risesto his feet.

"It'sokay, Ava."His voice is gentle but firm."You'retorturing yourself over this, but Hyde is a psychopath who blackmailed you.Don'tever apologize for trying to protect the people you love. Some people claim to love others but only to cause them pain.That"snot you."

I standtoo, closing the distance between us. I stare up athim. His beauty is almostblinding;just like looking at the sun, if the sun were painted in rich, dark colors.

"I'msorry."I mean it with every inch of my soul.Whatever'sleft of it, at least.

Jackson'sdark eyes lock with mine, his hand brushing against my shoulder. Fire coilshot and tight in my core at the contact."I forgive you."

My smile is strained.IfI try to say one more word about how much it means to me,I'llcompletely break down.In a world of darkness, where justice is a scrap youhave tofight over, forgiveness feels like a miracle. Even though Jackson has no idea of the full extent of my sins.

"Let's go," I mutter, wiping my eyes. "I'll drive us over to the station."

He nods. Hegoes to pickup his bagandmy eyes wander over to his neatly organized desk: his laptop, a pot of expensive-looking pens, and a few ornaments.

And then I see it—a slip of paper with a scrawled symbolon it. An eye nestled within a rising sun.

It takes my brain a second to process where I recognize it from. Then the image hits my gut like a sucker punch.

Hyde'sknife. I saw it on his belt last night atJackson'shouse before he fucked me. The symbol was scratched into the handle.

My eyesdon'tleave the paper as Iblurt out a question."Jackson, what is that?"

He follows my gaze, quickly reachingto pullthe slip away."Oh, just some personal papers."

"No. That scrap with the symbol on it."

"It'snothing, Ava.Just Iremembered from my childhood and scribbled it down. Why are you looking at it like that?"

There'sno way he could have known about this. Unless—

My insides flip, a sheen of sweat breaking out over my forehead.

Unless Hyde has already gotten to Jackson.

I take a step back. "That's why he was at your house. He wasn't just there for me."

Panic flutters in my stomach.Hyde'swords from last night crash back into my head. The disdain he clearly felt for Jackson. I brushed it off as anger at my turning to Jackson in my moment of need. But maybe his anger at Jackson is something more personal.

"You know Hyde."I choke the words out.

"What?"Jackson'sbrow furrows in what seems like genuine confusion.He'sa better liar than most people I interrogate.

I take another shaky step back."That symbol on the paper. I saw it scratched intoHyde'sknife."

He shakes his head. "That can't be right."

"Don'ttry to deny it, Jackson."Iswallow, my throat tight."Is Hyde blackmailing you too?"

Jackson leans back against his desk."No. Ava, seriously. I have no idea whatyou'retalking about."

His denialsaren'tswaying me."How long has this been going on? Since you got involved in the investigation?"A disturbing thought crosses my mind."Was he one of your patients?"

Jackson laughs."Ava, please. This accusation is absurd. I can assure you thatI'venever even seen Hyde before."

I'mnot buying it."Then where the hell did you get that from?"

His jaw ticks. Hedoesn'twant to tell me the truth, or hecan't.

"Idrew it myself. I promise you, this is nothing to do with Hyde."

"I'vescrewed up a lot of things. ButI'mcertain of this. I know what I saw."

My mind races with questions. What did Hyde force Jackson into? Has he been leaking intel about our investigation to Hyde? Is that why he always seems five steps ahead of us?

Jackson just shrugs. "I'm sorry, Ava. But I'm not going to confess to being blackmailed by a serial killer when it simply isn't true."

I step forward in desperation."Idon'tknow whathe'ssaid or done toyou,or whathe'smade you do. But no one will judge you for it. He was threatening you, just like he did to me."

I take another step toward him untilwe'rejust inches apart. Tentatively, I reach out and take his hand, squeezing it once. Heat rolls over my skin as I meet his eyes."Jackson, no matter what is going on… I promiseI'llforgive you."

He steps back, breaking contact. My stomach sinks.

"You need to leave, Ava.Go talkto Hawkins about Hyde targeting you, butdon'tbother mentioningthis.None of it is true."

I frown, exhaling in frustration."You need to come with me.You'rein danger, Jackson. Hewon'thesitate to kill again."

His eyes glint, suddenly glazed over with darkness."I'mnot going. Leave, Ava."

Anxiety tightens around my heart. I can't force him to go anywhere.

"Fine,"I reply."You can thinkI'mwrong, but eitherwaymy team is going to be back here with security to protect you as soon asI'vetalked to Hawkins."

It feels agonizing to leave Jackson alone when I know he could be in terrible danger. But I rush out of his office and down the stairs onto the street.

I don't know how Jackson is connected to all of this, but I'm certain I don't have much time.